>>DIVINE
MERCY
APOSTOLATE .... Diary
Divine
Mercy in my Soul PDF File
Notebook I 1-50 51-100 101-150 151-200 201-250 251-300 301-350 351-400 401-450 451-500 501-521
Notebook II 522-600 601-650 651-700 701-750 751-800 801-850 851-900 901-950 951-1000
Notebook III 1001-1050 1051-1100 1101-1150 1151-1200 1201-1230
Notebook V
1322-1400 1401-1450 1451-1500 1501-1550 1551-1589
Notebook VI 1590-1650 1651-1700 1701-1750 1751-1803
Preparation for Holy Communion 1804-1828
Diary Divine Mercy in My Soul ( VI: 1590 1650 )
Notebook 6 |
|
|
1590 |
+ J.M.J. |
|
1591 |
My heart is drawn there where my God is hidden, |
|
1592 |
February 10, 1938. During meditation, the Lord
gave me knowledge of the joy of heaven and of the saints on our arrival
there; they love God as the sole object of their love, but they also have a
tender and heartfelt love for us. It is from the face of God that this joy
flows out upon all, because we see Him face to face. His face is so sweet
that the soul falls anew into ecstasy. |
|
1593 |
The Lord Himself moves me to write prayers and
hymns about His mercy, and these hymns of praise force themselves upon my
lips. I have noticed that ready formulated words of praise of God's mercy
enter my mind, and so I have resolved to write them down in so far as is
within my power. I can feel God urging me to do so. |
|
1594 |
One of the sisters came into my cell for a little
while. After a short conversation on the subject of obedience, she said to
me, "Oh, now I understand how the saints acted. Thank you, Sister; a
great light has entered my soul; I have profited much." |
|
1595 |
O my Jesus, this is Your work. It is You who have
spoken thus to that soul, because this sister came in when I was completely
immersed in God, and it was just at that moment when this deep recollection
left me. O my Jesus, I know that, in order to be useful to souls, one has to
strive for the closest possible union with You, who are Eternal Love. One
word from a soul united to God effects more good in souls than eloquent
discussions and sermons from an imperfect soul. |
|
1596 |
+ I saw Father A. [Andrasz's]
surprise at my actions, but all that is for the glory of God. Oh, how great
is Your grace, O Lord, grace which lifts the soul up to greater heights. I am
very grateful to the Lord for having given me an enlightened priest. You
could have continued to leave me in uncertainties and hesitations, but Your
goodness remedied that. O my Jesus, it is impossible for me to count Your
favors... |
|
1597 |
My daughter, your
struggle will last until death. Your last breath will mark its end. You shall
conquer by meekness. |
|
1598 |
February 13, 1938. I saw how unwillingly the Lord
Jesus came to certain souls in Holy Communion. And He spoke these words to
me:
I enter into certain hearts as into a second Passion. |
|
1599 |
As I was trying to make my Holy Hour, I saw the
suffering Jesus, who spoke these words to me: My daughter, do not
pay so much attention to the vessel of grace as to the grace itself which I
give you, because you are not always pleased with the vessel, and then the
graces, too, become deficient. I want to guard you from that, and I want you
never to pay attention to the vessel in which I send you My grace. Let all
the attention of your soul be concentrated on
responding to My grace as faithfully as possible. |
|
1600 |
+ O my Jesus, if You yourself do not soothe the
longing - of my soul, then no one can either comfort or soothe it. Your every
approach arouses new raptures of love in my soul, but also a new agony;
because, despite all Your approaches to my soul, even the most exceptional, I
am still loving You from a distance, and my heart dies in an ecstasy of love;
because this is still not the complete and eternal union, although You
commune with me so very often unveiled [as if face to face]; nevertheless,
You thereby open in my soul and heart an abyss of love and desire for You, my
God, and this bottomless abyss, this total desiring of God, cannot be
completely filled on this earth. |
|
1601 |
The Lord has given me to know how much He desires
the perfection of chosen souls. |
|
1602 |
Today the Lord said to me, Daughter, when you go
to confession, to this fountain of My mercy, the Blood and Water which came
forth from My Heart always flows down upon your soul and ennobles it. Every
time you go to confession, immerse yourself entirely in My mercy, with great
trust, so that I may pour the bounty of My grace upon your soul. When you approach
the confessional, know this, that I Myself am
waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I myself act in
your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy. Tell souls
that from this fount of mercy souls draw graces solely with the vessel of
trust. If their trust is great, there is no limit to My generosity. The
torrents of grace inundate humble souls. The proud remain always in poverty
and misery, because My grace turns away from them to humble souls. |
|
1603 |
February 14, [1938]. During adoration, I heard
these words:
Pray for one of the students who has great need of My grace. And I recognized N. I
prayed hard, and God's mercy embraced that soul. |
|
1604 |
When, during adoration, I repeated the prayer,
"Holy God" several times, a vivid presence of God suddenly swept
over me, and I was caught up in spirit before the majesty of God. I saw how
the Angels and the Saints of the Lord give glory to God. The glory of God is
so great that I dare not try to describe it, because I would not be able to
do so, and souls might think that what I have written is all there is. Saint
Paul, I understand now why you did not want to describe heaven, but only said
that eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor has it entered into the heart of
man what God has prepared for those who love Him [cf. 1 Cor. 2:9; 2 Cor.
12:1-7]. Yes, that is indeed so. And all that has come forth from God returns
to Him in the same way and gives Him perfect glory. Now I have seen the way
in which I adore God; oh, how miserable it is! And what a tiny drop it is in
comparison to that perfect heavenly glory. O my God, how good You are to
accept my praise as well, and to turn Your Face to me with kindness and let
us know that our prayer is pleasing to You. |
|
1605 |
Write down everything
that occurs to you regarding My goodness. I answered, "What do
You mean, Lord, what if I write too much?" And the Lord replied, My daughter, even if
you were to speak at one and the same time in all human and angelic tongues,
even then you would not have said very much, but on the contrary, you would
have sung in only a small measure the praises of My goodness-of My
unfathomable mercy. |
|
1606 |
O Jesus, my only solace! How frightful is this
exile! How terrible this wilderness I have to cross! My soul is struggling
through a terrible thicket of all kinds of difficulties. If You Yourself did
not support me, Lord, there would be no thought of my moving forward. |
|
1607 |
16 [February] 1938. As I was praying to the living
Heart of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament for the intention of a certain
priest, Jesus suddenly gave me knowledge of His goodness and said to me, I will give him
nothing that is beyond his strength. |
|
1608 |
+ When I learned of some of the sufferings and
troubles that a certain person 236
was going through in connection with this whole work of God, I asked the Lord
Jesus before Holy Communion that He might make known to me whether by any
chance these sufferings were not caused by me: "My sweetest Jesus, I
implore You by Your infinite goodness and mercy, make known to me whether
anything in this matter displeases You or whether there is some fault of mine
in this. If there is, I ask You, when You enter my heart, fill it with unrest
and make known to me Your displeasure. And if I am not guilty in this matter,
confirm me in peace." When I received the Lord, my soul was filled with
great peace, and the Lord gave me to know that the work was undergoing a
trial, but was no less pleasing to God because of this. I felt great joy at
this but I redoubled my prayers so that this work might come through the
ordeal unharmed. |
|
1609 |
O my Jesus, how good it is to be on the cross, but
with You! With You, my Love, my soul is constantly stretched out on the cross
and is being filled with bitterness. Vinegar and gall touch my lips, but it
is good that it is so, because Your Divine Heart was filled with bitterness
throughout Your life, and in return for Your love You received ingratitude.
You were in such pain that a sorrowful complaint escaped Your lips when You
said that You were looking for someone to console You and You found none [cf.
Ps. 68:21]. |
|
1610 |
+ When I asked the Lord to be so good as to cast a
glance upon a certain soul [probably Father Sopocko] who was struggling alone
against many difficulties, the Lord gave me to know, in an instant, that all
people are as dust under His feet. So do not worry; you see that they
cannot do a thing of themselves. And if I allow them to seem to triumph, I do
this for the sake of My impenetrable decrees. I experienced great peace
in seeing how all things are determined by the Lord. |
|
1611 |
+ When the chaplain [Father Theodore] brings me
the Lord Jesus, there are moments when I am pervaded with a very vivid
presence of God, and the Lord gives me to know His holiness. At such times, I
see the smallest speck on my soul, and I would like to purify my soul before
every Holy Communion. When I asked the confessor, he said there was no need
to confess before every Holy Communion. Holy Communion takes away these tiny
things and it is a temptation to think about confession when receiving Holy
Communion. I did not go on to explain the condition of my soul in any greater
detail, because he was not my director, but the confessor. 237
This knowledge does not take up my time, because it is faster than lightning;
it enkindles my love, leaving me with a knowledge of
myself... |
|
1612 |
+ February 20, [1938]. Today the Lord said to me, I have need of your
sufferings to rescue souls. |
|
1613 |
Almost all night I had such violent pains that it
seemed all my intestines were torn to pieces. I threw up the medicine I had
taken. When I bowed my head down to the ground, I lost consciousness, and I
stayed like that for some time, with my head on the floor. When I came to, I
became aware that my whole body was pressing on my head and face, and that I
was covered with vomit. I thought it would be the end of me. Dear Mother
Superior [Irene] and Sister Tarcisia 238
were trying to help me as best they could. Jesus demanded suffering, but not
death. O my Jesus, do with me as You please. Only
give me strength to suffer. Since Your strength supports me, I shall bear
everything. O souls, how I love you! |
|
1614 |
Today, one of the sisters [probably Sister Amelia 239
] came to see me and said, "Sister, I have a strange feeling, as though
something were telling me to come to you and commend to you certain problems
of mine before you die, and that perhaps you will be able to beseech the Lord
Jesus and arrange these things for me. Something keeps telling me that you
will be able to obtain this for me." I answered her with equal frankness
that, yes, I felt in my soul that after my death I would be able to obtain
more from the Lord Jesus than at the present time. "I will remember you,
Sister, before His throne." |
|
1615 |
When I entered the neighboring dormitory to visit
the sisters who were ill, one of them said to me, "Sister, when you die
I will not fear you at all. Come to see me after you die, because I want to
confide to you a secret concerning my soul, something I want you to settle
for me with the Lord Jesus. I know you can obtain this from Him."
Because she was speaking in public I answered her in this way: "The Lord
Jesus is very discreet. And so He never betrays to anyone a secret that is
between Him and a soul." |
|
1616 |
+ O my Lord, thank You for conforming me to
Yourself through immolation. I see that this earthly vessel is beginning to
crumble. I rejoice in this, because soon I will be in my Father's house [cf. Jn.
14:2]. |
|
1617 |
February 27, [1938]. Today, I went to confession
to Father An. [Andrasz] I did as Jesus wanted. After confession, a surge of
light filled my soul. Then I heard a voice: Because you are a
child, you shall remain close to My Heart. Your simplicity is more pleasing
to Me than your mortifications. |
|
1618 |
Father An. [Andrasz's]
words: Live more by faith. Pray that the Divine Mercy become more widely
known, and that the work may come into good hands that will manage it well.
As for yourself, try to be a good religious here-although things may turn out
that way also-but try to be a good religious right here. And now, if you feel
those urgings from the Lord and recognize that it is He, follow them. Devote
to prayer all the time that is set apart for it, and make your notations
afterwards... |
|
1619 |
+ The last two days of carnival. 240
My physical sufferings have intensified. I am uniting myself more closely
with the suffering Savior, asking Him for mercy for the whole world, which is
running riot in its wickedness. Throughout the day I felt the pain of the
crown of thorns. When I lay down, I could not rest my head on the pillow. But
at ten o'clock the pains ceased, and I fell asleep; but the next day I felt
very exhausted. |
|
1620 |
+ Jesus-Host, if You Yourself did not sustain me,
I would not be able to persevere on the cross. I would not be able to endure
so much suffering. But the power of Your grace maintains me on a higher level
and makes my sufferings meritorious. You give me strength always to move
forward and to gain heaven by force and to have love in my heart for those
from whom I suffer adversities and contempt. With Your grace one can do all
things. |
|
1621 |
March 1, 1938. One-day Retreat. |
|
1622 |
Throughout this Lent, I am a host in Your hand,
Jesus. Make use of me so that You may enter into sinners Yourself. Demand
anything You like; no sacrifice will seem too much for me when souls are at
stake. |
|
1623 |
+ I have offered this whole month's Masses and
Holy Communions for the intention of Father Andrasz, that God may give him an
even deeper knowledge of His love and mercy. |
|
1624 |
This month I will practice the three virtues
recommended to me by the Mother of God: humility, purity and love of God,
accepting with profound submission to the will of God everything that He will
send me. |
|
1625 |
March 2, [1938]. I began Holy Lent in the way that
Jesus wanted me to, making myself totally dependent upon His holy will and
accepting with love everything that He sends me. I cannot practice any
greater mortifications, because I am so very weak.
This long illness has sapped my strength completely. I am uniting myself with
Jesus through suffering. When I meditate on His Painful Passion, my physical
sufferings are lessened. |
|
1626 |
The Lord said to me, I am taking you into
My school for the whole of Lent. I want to teach you how to suffer. I answered, "With
You, Lord, I am ready for everything." And I heard a voice,
You
are allowed to drink from the cup from which I drink. I give you that
exclusive privilege today... |
|
1627 |
Today I felt the Passion of Jesus in my whole
body, and the Lord gave me knowledge of the conversion of certain souls. |
|
1628 |
During Holy Mass, I saw Jesus stretched out on the
Cross, and He said to me, My pupil, have great love for those who
cause you suffering. Do good to those who hate you. I answered, "O my
Master, You see very well that I feel no love for them, and that troubles
me." Jesus answered, It is not always
within your power to control your feelings. You will recognize that you have
love if, after having experienced annoyance and contradiction, you do not
lose your peace, but pray for those who have made you suffer and wish them
well.
When I returned [...] |
|
1629 |
I am a host in Your hand, |
|
1630 |
Jesus, fortify the powers of my soul that the
enemy gain nothing. Without You, I am weakness itself. What am I without Your
grace if not an abyss of my own misery? Misery is my possession. |
|
1631 |
O Wound of Mercy, Heart of Jesus, hide me in Your depths as a drop of Your own blood, and do
not let me out forever! Lock me in Your depths, and do
You Yourself teach me to love You! Eternal Love, do
You Yourself form my soul that it be made capable of returning Your love. O
living Love, enable me to love You forever. I yearn to eternally reciprocate
Your love. O Christ, a single gaze from You is dearer to me than a thousand
worlds, than all heaven itself. Lord, You can make my soul capable of
understanding completely who You are. I know and I believe that You can do
all things; if You have deigned to give Yourself to me so generously, then I
know that You can be even more generous. Bring me into an intimacy with You
so far as it is possible for human nature to be brought... |
|
1632 |
The desires of my heart are so great and
incomprehensible |
|
1633 |
March 10, [1938]. Continuous physical suffering. I
am on the cross with Jesus. On one occasion, M. Superior [Irene] said to me,
"It is a lack of love of neighbor on your part, Sister, that you eat
something and then you suffer and disturb the others during their night's
rest." Yet I know for sure that these pains which occur in my intestines
are not at all caused by food. The doctor [probably Dr. Silberg]
has said the same thing. These sufferings come from the body itself, or
rather are a visitation of the Lord. Nevertheless, after that remark I
resolved to suffer in secret and not to ask for help, because it is of no
avail anyway, since I throw up the medicines that are given to me. |
|
1634 |
When the doctor 241
came, I could not go down to the parlor to see him, like the other sisters,
but asked that he come to my cell, because I could not go down due to a
certain difficulty. After a while, he came to the cell and, having examined
me, said, "I'll tell everything to the Sister Infirmarian."
When the Sister Infirmarian came, after the doctor
had left, I told her why I hadn't been able to go down to the parlor, but she
gave me to know how very displeased she was. And when I asked, "Sister,
what did the doctor say about these pains?" she answered that he had
said nothing, that it was nothing, that he had said
the patient was just sulking. And with that she went off. Then I said to God,
"Christ, give me strength and power to suffer; give to my heart a pure
love for this sister." After that, she did not look in on me again for a
whole week. But the sufferings returned with great violence and lasted almost
the whole night, and it seemed that it would be the end, then and there. The
superiors decided to approach another doctor, 242
and he ascertained that my condition was serious and said to me, "It
will not be possible to return you to good health. We can remedy your
condition partially, but complete recovery is out of question." He
prescribed a medicine for the pains, and after I had taken it, the major
attacks did not return. "But if you come here, Sister, we will try to
patch up your health somehow, if that is still possible." The doctor
very much wanted me to go there for a treatment. 243
O my Jesus, how strange are Your decrees! |
|
1635 |
Jesus orders me to write all this for the
consolation of other souls who will often be exposed to similar sufferings. |
|
1636 |
Although I was feeling very weak, I went to see
the doctor [Silberg], because that was the
superior's will. The sister who was my companion was very unhappy about this.
She made this known to me several times and finally said, "What are we
going to do? I don't have enough money to pay for the cab." I answered
nothing. "And what if there is no cab? How are we going to get there?
It's such a long way." She said this and many other things just to worry
me, because our dear superiors had given us enough money for everything, and
we didn't run short. And understanding this whole business within myself, I
laughed and told sister that I was not worried one bit: "Let's trust in
God." But I saw that my deep peace was getting on her nerves, and so I
started to pray for her intention. |
|
1637 |
O my Lord, all this is for You and to obtain mercy
for poor sinners. When I returned, I was so very tired that I had to lie down
right away. But it was the day for the quarterly confession. I tried to go to
confession, not only because I had need to do so, but also to ask advice of
my spiritual director [Father Andrasz]. I began to prepare myself; however I
felt so weak that I decided to go ask Mother Superior [Irene] to allow me to
go before the novices. Mother Superior answered, "Go and look for the
Directress of Novices [Sister Callista]. If she
allows you to go before the novices, it is all right with me." However,
there were only three sisters ahead of me, waiting for confession, and so I
waited because I did not have enough strength to go and look for the
Directress of Novices. When I went in to make my confession I was feeling so
bad that I could not give an account of the condition of my soul; I barely
managed to make my confession. At that point, I noted how much the spirit is
needed; the letter itself does not make love grow [cf. 2 Cor. 3:6]. |
|
1638 |
On that day, there arose some misunderstandings
between the Superior and myself. Neither she nor I was to blame, but moral
suffering remained, because I could not explain the matter in question, since
it was a secret. This was the reason why I suffered, even though, by a single
word, I could have revealed the truth. |
|
1639 |
The 20th [of March]. Today, in spirit, I
accompanied a certain dying soul. I obtained trust in God's mercy for her.
The soul was near despair. |
|
1640 |
This night is known only to You, O Lord. I have
offered it for poor obdurate sinners, to obtain Your mercy for them. Scourge
me here, burn me here, as long as You give me the souls of sinners, and
especially.... O Jesus, with You nothing is lost; take everything and give me
souls... sinners. |
|
1641 |
At adoration during the Forty-Hours'
Devotion, the Lord said to me, My daughter, write that involuntary
offenses of souls do not hinder My love for them or prevent Me from uniting
Myself with them. But voluntary offenses, even the smallest, obstruct My
graces, and I cannot lavish My gifts on such souls. |
|
1642 |
+ Jesus gave me to know of how everything is
dependent on His will, thus giving me profound peace as regards the security
of His work. |
|
1643 |
Listen, My daughter,
although all the works that come into being by My will are exposed to great
sufferings, consider whether any of them has been subject to greater
difficulties than that work which is directly Mine-the work of Redemption.
You should not worry too much about adversities. The world is not as powerful
as it seems to be; its strength is strictly limited. Know, My daughter, that
if your soul is filled with the fire of My pure love, then all difficulties
dissipate like fog before the sun's rays and dare not touch the soul. All
adversaries are afraid to start a quarrel with such a soul, because they
sense that it is stronger than the whole world... |
|
1644 |
My daughter, do as
much for this work of mercy as obedience allows, but present clearly to your
confessor the very least of My demands, and he will decide. You must not
shirk in any way, but carry out everything faithfully; otherwise, I would
find no pleasure in you... |
|
1645 |
March 25, 1938. Today, I saw the suffering Lord
Jesus. He leaned down toward me and whispered softly, My daughter, help Me
to save sinners. Suddenly, a burning desire to save souls entered my soul. When I
recovered my senses, I knew just how I was to help souls, and I prepared
myself for greater sufferings. |
|
1646 |
+ Today [probably Friday, March 25, 1938] my
suffering increased; in addition, I felt wounds in my hands, feet and side. I
endured this with patience. I sensed the hostility of the enemy of souls, but
he did not touch me. |
|
1647 |
April 1, [1938]. Once again, I am feeling worse
today. A high fever is beginning to consume me, and I cannot take any food. I
would like to have something refreshing to drink, but there is not even any
water in my pitcher. All this, O Jesus, to obtain mercy for souls. |
|
1648 |
I was about to ask Mother Superior [Irene] to
allow me to have something in my cell with which to quench my great thirst,
but before I managed to ask, Mother herself began to speak, "Sister,
let's make an end of this illness once and for all, one way or another.
You'll have to undergo regular treatment or something. Things can't go on
like this any longer." A little later when I was alone I said,
"Christ, what am I to do? Am I to ask You for health or for death?"
I had no clear command, so I knelt down and said, "May Your holy will be
done in my , regard. Do with me, Jesus, as You
please." At that very moment, I felt as though I were
all alone, and various temptations attacked me. But I found peace and light
in earnest prayer, and I understood that the superior only wished to test me.
|
|
1649 |
I don't know how this happens, but the room in
which I have been lying has been very much neglected. Sometimes, it has not
been cleaned for more than two weeks. Often, no one would light a fire in the
stove, and so my cough would get worse. Sometimes I would ask to have a fire
lit, and at other times I did not have the courage to ask. On one occasion,
when Mother Superior [Irene] came to see me and asked me if perhaps it was
necessary to heat the room more, I said, No, because it was already getting
warmer outside, and we had the window open. |
|
1650 |
First Friday. When I took the Messenger of the
Sacred Heart into my hand and read the account of the canonization of Saint
Andrew Bobola, my soul was instantly filled with a
great longing that our Congregation, too, might have a saint, and I wept like
a child that there was no saint in our midst. And I said to the Lord, "I
know Your generosity, and yet it seems to me that You are less generous
toward us." And I began again to weep like a little child. And the Lord
Jesus said to me, Don't
cry. You are that saint. Then the light of God inundated my soul, and I
was given to know how much I was to suffer, and I said to the Lord, "How
will that come about? You have been speaking to me about another
Congregation." And the Lord answered, It is not for you to
know how this will come about. Your duty is to be faithful to My grace and to
do always what is within your power and what obedience allows you to do... |
Notebook I 1-50 51-100 101-150 151-200 201-250 251-300 301-350 351-400 401-450 451-500 501-521
Notebook II 522-600 601-650 651-700 701-750 751-800 801-850 851-900 901-950 951-1000
Notebook III 1001-1050 1051-1100 1101-1150 1151-1200 1201-1230
Notebook V
1322-1400 1401-1450 1451-1500 1501-1550 1551-1589
Notebook VI 1590-1650 1651-1700 1701-1750 1751-1803
Preparation for Holy Communion 1804-1828
Diary, St. Maria
Faustina Kowalska, Divine Mercy In My Soul
(c) Congregation of Marians of the Immaculate
Conception, Stockbridge, MA 01263.
To
purchase the dairy, visit the Marians of the
Immaculate Conception website
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