>>DIVINE
MERCY
APOSTOLATE .... Diary
Divine
Mercy in my Soul PDF File
Notebook I 1-50 51-100 101-150 151-200 201-250 251-300 301-350 351-400 401-450 451-500 501-521
Notebook II 522-600 601-650 651-700 701-750 751-800 801-850 851-900 901-950 951-1000
Notebook III 1001-1050 1051-1100 1101-1150 1151-1200 1201-1230
Notebook V
1322-1400 1401-1450 1451-1500 1501-1550 1551-1589
Notebook VI 1590-1650 1651-1700 1701-1750 1751-1803
Preparation for Holy Communion 1804-1828
Diary Divine Mercy in My Soul ( V: 1401 1450 )
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Notebook 5 |
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1401 |
Yesterday I received a letter from Father Sopocko.
I learned that God's work is progressing, however slowly. I am very happy
about this, and I have redoubled my prayers for this entire work. I have come
to learn that, for the present, so far as my participation in the work is
concerned, the Lord is asking for prayer and sacrifice. Action on my part
could indeed thwart God's plans, as Father Sopocko wrote in yesterday's
letter. O my Jesus, grant me the grace to be an obedient instrument in Your
hands. I have learned from this letter how great is the light which God
grants to this priest. This confirms me in the conviction that God will carry
out this work through him despite the mounting obstacles. I know well that
the greater and the more beautiful the work is, the more terrible will be the
storms that rage against it. |
|
1402 |
God, in his unfathomable decrees, often allows it
to be that those who have expended most effort in accomplishing some work do
not enjoy its fruits here on earth; God reserves all their joy for eternity.
But for all that, God sometimes lets them know how much their efforts please Him.
And such moments strengthen them for further struggles and ordeals. These are
the souls that bear closest resemblance to the Savior who, in the work which
He founded here on earth, tasted nothing but bitterness. |
|
1403 |
O my Jesus, may You be blessed for everything! I
rejoice that Your most holy will is being accomplished. That is quite enough
to make me happy. |
|
1404 |
Hidden Jesus, in You lies all my strength. From my
most tender years, the Lord Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament has attracted me
to Himself. Once, when I was seven years old, at a Vesper Service, conducted
before the Lord Jesus in the monstrance, the love of God was imparted to me
for the first time and filled my little heart; and the Lord gave me
understanding of divine things. From that day until this, my love for the
hidden God has been growing constantly to the point of closest intimacy. All
the strength of my soul flows from the Blessed Sacrament. I spend all my free
moments in conversation with Him. He is my Master. |
|
1405 |
November 30, 1937. When I was going upstairs this
evening, a strange dislike for everything having to do with God suddenly came
over me. At that, I heard Satan who said to me, "Think no more about
this work. God is not as merciful as you say He is. Do not pray for sinners,
because they will be damned all the same, and by this work of mercy you
expose your own self to damnation. Talk no more about this mercy of God with
your confessor and especially not with Father Sopocko and Father
Andrasz." At this point, the voice took the appearance of my Guardian
Angel, and at that moment I replied, "I know who you are: the father of
lies [cf. Jn. 8:44]." I made the sign of the cross, and the angel
vanished with great racket and fury. |
|
1406 |
Today, the Lord gave me to know interiorly that He
would never abandon me. He gave me to know His majesty and His holiness as
well as His love and mercy towards me; and He gave me a deeper knowledge of
my own wretchedness. However, this great misery of mine does not deprive me
of trust. On the contrary, the better I have come to know my own misery, the
stronger has become my trust in God's mercy. I have come to understand how
all this depends on the Lord. I know that no one will touch a single hair of
my head without His willing it. |
|
1407 |
When I was receiving Holy Communion today, I
noticed in the cup a Living Host, which the priest gave to me. When I
returned to my place I asked the Lord, "Why was one Host alive, since
You are equally alive under each of the species?" The Lord answered me, That is so. I am the
same under each of the species, but not every soul receives Me with the same
living faith as you do, My daughter, and therefore I cannot act in their souls
as I do in yours. |
|
1408 |
I was present at Holy Mass celebrated by Father
Sopocko. During the Mass, I saw the Infant Jesus who, touching the priest's
forehead with His finger, said to me, His thought is closely united to Mine,
so be at peace about what concerns My work. I will not let him make a
mistake, and you should do nothing without his permission. This filled my soul with
great peace as regards everything that has to do with this work. |
|
1409 |
+ Today the Lord Jesus is giving me an awareness
of Himself and of His most tender love and care for me. He is bringing me to
understand deeply how everything depends on His will, and how He allows
certain difficulties precisely for our merit, so that our fidelity might be
clearly manifest. And through this, I have been given strength for suffering
and self-denial. |
|
1410 |
Today [December 7, 1937] is the eve of the Feast
of the Immaculate Conception of the Virgin Mary. During the midday meal, in
an instant, God gave me to know the greatness of my destiny; that is, His
closeness, which for all eternity will not be taken away from me, and He did
this in such a vivid and clear fashion that I remained wrapped up in His
living presence for a long time, humbling myself before His greatness. +
J.M.J. |
|
1411 |
O Divine Spirit, Spirit of truth and of light, |
|
1412 |
+ It is with great zeal that I have prepared for
the celebration of the Feast of the Immaculate Conception of the Mother of
God. I have made an extra effort to keep recollected in spirit and have
meditated on that unique privilege of Our Lady. And thus my heart was
completely drowned in Her, thanking God for having accorded this great privilege
to Mary. |
|
1413 |
I prepared not only by means of the novena said in
common by the whole community, but I also made a personal effort to salute
Her a thousand times each day, saying a thousand "Hail Marys" for nine days in Her praise. |
|
1414 |
The Feast of the Immaculate Conception. Before
Holy Communion I saw the Blessed Mother inconceivably beautiful. Smiling at
me She said to me, My daughter, at God's command I am to be, in a special
and exclusive way your Mother; but I desire that you, too, in a special way,
be My child. |
|
1415 |
I desire, My dearly beloved daughter, that
you practice the three virtues that are dearest to Me-and most pleasing to
God. The first is humility, humility, and once again humility; the second
virtue, purity; the third virtue, love of God. As My daughter, you must
especially radiate with these virtues. When the conversation ended, She pressed
me to Her Heart and disappeared. When I regained the use of my senses, my
heart became so wonderfully attracted to these virtues; and I practice them
faithfully. They are as though engraved in my heart. |
|
1416 |
This has been a great day for me. During this day
I remained as though in unceasing contemplation; the very thought of this
grace drew me into further contemplation; and throughout the whole day I
continued in thanksgiving which I never stopped, because each recollection of
this grace caused my soul ever anew to lose itself in God... |
|
1417 |
O my Lord, my soul is the most wretched of all,
and yet You stoop to it with such kindness! I see clearly Your greatness and
my littleness, and therefore I rejoice that You are so powerful and without
limit, and so I rejoice greatly at being so little. |
|
1418 |
O suffering Christ, I am going out to meet You. As
Your bride, I must resemble You. Your cloak of ignominy must cover me too. O
Christ, You know how ardently I desire to become like You. Grant that Your
entire Passion may be my lot. May all Your sorrow be poured into my heart. I
trust that You will complete this in me in the way You deem most fitting. |
|
1419 |
+ Today there was nocturnal adoration. I could not
take part in it because of my poor health, but before I fell asleep I united
myself with the sisters who were at adoration. Between four and five o'clock,
I was suddenly awakened, and I heard a voice telling me to join those who
were adoring at that time. I understood that there was among them a soul who
was praying for me. |
|
1420 |
When I steeped myself in prayer, I was transported
in spirit to the chapel, where I saw the Lord Jesus, exposed in the
monstrance. In place of the monstrance, I saw the glorious face of the Lord,
and He said to me, What
you see in reality, these souls see through faith. Oh, how pleasing to Me is
their great faith! You see, although there appears to be no trace of life in
Me, in reality it is present in its fullness in each and every Host. But for
Me to be able to act upon a soul, the soul must have faith. O how pleasing to
Me is living faith! |
|
1421 |
Those taking part in adoration at that time were
Mother Superior and a few other sisters. But I recognized that it was Mother
Superior's prayer which had moved heaven, and I rejoiced that there are souls
so pleasing to God. |
|
1422 |
When, during recreation the next day, I asked
which sisters had been at adoration between four and five o'clock, one of the
sisters cried out, "Why do you ask, Sister? Perhaps you had some
revelation?" I fell silent and said no more; although I was asked by
Mother Superior, I could not answer because it was not a suitable moment. |
|
1423 |
On a certain occasion, one of the sisters [Sister
Damian Ziolek [220]] confided to me
that she wanted to choose a certain priest as her confessor. Very pleased,
she shared the news with me and asked me to pray for that intention, and so I
promised her to do so. During prayer, I learned that that soul would gain no
spiritual profit from his direction. And then, the next time we met, she told
me again of her great joy in being under his direction. |
|
1424 |
I joined in her joy, but when she had left I was
severely rebuked. Jesus told me to tell her what He had I given me to know
during prayer, which I did at the first opportunity, although it cost me a
great deal. |
|
1425 |
Today, for a short while, I experienced the pain
of the crown of thorns. I was praying for a certain soul before the Blessed
Sacrament at the time. In an instant, I felt such a violent pain that my head
dropped onto the altar rail. Although this moment was very brief, it was very
painful. |
|
1426 |
Christ, give me souls. Let anything You like
happen to me, but give me souls in return. I want the salvation of souls. I
want souls to know Your mercy. I have nothing left for myself, because I have
given everything away to souls, with the result that on the day of judgment I
will stand before You empty-handed, since I have given everything away to
souls. Thus You will have nothing on which to judge me, and we shall meet on
that day: Love and mercy... + J. M. J. |
|
1427 |
Hidden Jesus, life of my soul, |
|
1428 |
For a month now, I have been feeling worse. Every
time I cough, I feel my lungs disintegrating. It sometimes happens that I
feel the complete decay of my own corpse. It is hard to express how great a
suffering this is. Although I fully agree to this with my will, it is
nevertheless a great suffering for nature, greater than wearing a hairshirt or a flagellation to the point of blood. I have
felt it especially when I was going to the refectory. It took great effort
for me to eat anything because food made me sick. I also started at this time
to suffer from pains in my intestines. All highly seasoned dishes caused me
such immense pain that I spent many nights writhing in pain and in tears, for
the sake of sinners. |
|
1429 |
However, I asked my confessor what to do: whether
I should continue to suffer this for the sake of sinners or ask the superiors
for an exception by way of milder food. He decided that I should ask the
superiors for milder food. And thus I followed his directions, seeing that
this humiliation was more pleasing to God. |
|
1430 |
One day, I began to doubt as to how it was
possible to feel this continual decaying of the body and at the same time to
be able to walk and work. Perhaps this was some kind of an illusion. Yet it
cannot be an illusion, because it causes me such terrible pains. As I was
thinking about this, one of the sisters came to converse with me. After a
minute or two, she made a terribly wry face and said, "Sister, I smell a
corpse here, as though it were decaying. O how dreadful it is!" I said
to her, "Do not be frightened, Sister, that smell of a corpse comes from
me." She was very surprised and said she could not stand it any longer.
After she had gone, I understood that God had allowed her to sense this so
that I would have no doubt, but that He was no less than miraculously keeping
the knowledge of this suffering from the whole community. O my Jesus, only
You know the full depth of this sacrifice. |
|
1431 |
Nevertheless, when in the refectory I still had to
bear being the object of the frequent suspicion that I was being fussy [about
my food]. At such times, as always, I hasten to the Tabernacle and bow before
the ciborium and there draw strength to accept God's will. That which I have
written is not yet everything. |
|
1432 |
Today during confession, breaking the wafer with
me spiritually, he gave me the following wishes: "Be as faithful as you
can to the grace of God; secondly, beg God's mercy for yourself and for the
whole world, because we are all in great need of God's mercy." |
|
1433 |
Two days before Christmas, these words were read
in the refectory: "Tomorrow is the Birth of Jesus Christ according to
the flesh." [221] At these words,
my soul was pierced by the light and love of God, and I gained deeper
knowledge of the Mystery of the Incarnation of the Son of God. How great is
the mercy of God contained in the Mystery of the Incarnation of the Son of
God! |
|
1434 |
Today, the Lord gave me knowledge of His anger
toward mankind which deserves to have its days shortened because of its sins.
But I learned that the world's existence is maintained by chosen souls; that
is, the religious orders. Woe to the world when there will be a lack of
religious orders! |
|
1435 |
I perform each deed in the face of death. |
|
1436 |
+ Lord, although You often make known to me the
thunders of Your anger, Your anger vanishes before lowly souls. Although You
are great, Lord, You allow yourself to be overcome by a lowly and deeply
humble soul. O humility, the most precious of virtues, how few souls possess
you! I see only a semblance of this virtue everywhere, but not the virtue
itself. Lord, reduce me to nothingness in my own eyes that I may find grace
in ' Yours. |
|
1437 |
+ Christmas Eve [1937]. After Holy Communion, the
Mother of God gave me to experience the anxious concern she had in Her heart
because of the Son of God. But this anxiety was permeated with such fragrance
of abandonment to the will of God that I should call it ' rather a delight
than an anxiety. I understood how my ' soul ought to accept the will of God
in all things. It is a pity I cannot write this the way I experienced it. My
soul was plunged in deep recollection all day long. Nothing could tear me
away from this recollection, neither duties, nor the business I had with lay
people. |
|
1438 |
Before supper, I went into the chapel for a moment
to break the wafer spiritually with those beloved persons, so dear to my
heart, though far away. First, I steeped myself in profound prayer and asked
the Lord for graces for them all as a group and then for each one
individually. Jesus gave me to know how much this pleased Him, and my soul
was filled with even greater joy to see that God loves in a special way those
whom we love. |
|
1439 |
+ After I had gone into the refectory, during the
reading, my whole being found itself plunged in God. Interiorly, I saw God
looking at us with great pleasure. I remained alone with the Heavenly Father.
At that moment, I had a deeper knowledge of the Three Divine Persons, whom we
shall contemplate for all eternity and, after millions of years, shall
discover that we have just barely begun our contemplation. Oh, how great is
the mercy of God, who allows man to participate in such a high degree in His
divine happiness! At the same time, what great pain pierces my heart [at the
thought] that so many souls have spurned this happiness. |
|
1440 |
When we began to share the wafer, a sincere and
mutual love reigned among us. Mother Superior [Irene] expressed this wish to
me: "Sister, the works of God proceed slowly, so do not be in a
hurry." In general, the sisters sincerely wished me great love, which is
that which I desire above all. I saw that these wishes truly came from their
hearts, except for one sister, who had a concealed malice in her wishes,
although this did not cause me much pain, for my soul was pervaded by God.
Yet this enlightened me as to why God communicates so little with a soul of
this kind, and I learned that such a soul is always seeking itself, even in
holy things. Oh, how good the Lord is in not letting me go astray! I know
that He will guard me, even jealously, but only as long as I remain little,
because it is with such that the great Lord j likes to commune. As to proud
souls, He watches them from afar and opposes them. |
|
1441 |
Although I wanted to keep vigil for some time
before the Midnight Mass, [222] I could not do
so. I fell asleep at once, and I was even feeling very weak. But when they
rang the bells for Midnight Mass, I jumped to my feet at once and dressed,
though with great difficulty, because I felt sick again and again. |
|
1442 |
+ When I arrived at Midnight Mass, from the very
beginning I steeped myself in deep recollection, during which time I saw the
stable of Bethlehem filled with great radiance. The Blessed Virgin, all lost
in the deepest of love, was wrapping Jesus in swaddling clothes, but Saint
Joseph was still asleep. Only after the Mother of God put Jesus in the
manger, did the light of God awaken Joseph, who also prayed. But after a
while, I was left alone with the Infant Jesus who stretched out His little
hands to me, and I understood that I was to take Him in my arms. Jesus
pressed His head against my heart and gave me to know, by His profound gaze,
how good He found it to be next to my heart. At that moment Jesus disappeared
and the bell was ringing for Holy Communion. |
|
1443 |
My soul was languishing with joy. But toward the
end of the Mass, I felt so weak that I had to leave the chapel and go to my
cell, as I felt unable to take part in the community tea. But my joy
throughout the whole Christmas Season was immense, because my soul was
unceasingly united with the Lord. I have come to know that every soul would
like to have divine comforts, but is by no means willing to forsake human
comforts, whereas these two things cannot be reconciled. |
|
1444 |
During this Christmas Season, I have sensed that
certain souls have been praying for me. I rejoice that such spiritual union
and knowledge exist already here on earth. O my Jesus, praise be to You for
all this! |
|
1445 |
In the greatest torments of soul I am always
alone, but no-not alone, for I am with You, Jesus; but here I am speaking
about [other] people. None of them understands my heart, but this does not
surprise me anymore, whereas I used to be surprised when my intentions were
condemned and wrongly interpreted; no, this does not surprise me now at all.
People do not know how to perceive the soul. They see the body, and they
judge according to the body. But as distant as heaven is from earth, so
distant are God's thoughts from our thoughts. I myself have experienced that
quite often it happens that [... ] |
|
1446 |
The Lord said to me, It should be of no
concern to you how anyone else acts; you are to be My living reflection,
through love and mercy. I answered, "Lord, but they often take advantage
of my goodness." That makes no difference, My daughter.
That is no concern of yours. As for you, be always merciful toward other
people, and especially toward sinners. |
|
1447 |
+Oh, how painful it
is to Me that souls so seldom unite themselves to Me in Holy Communion. I
wait for souls, and they are indifferent toward Me. I love them tenderly and
sincerely, and they distrust Me. I want to lavish My graces on them, and they
do not want to accept them. They treat Me as a dead object, whereas My Heart is
full of love and mercy. In order that you may know at least some of My pain,
imagine the most tender of mothers who has great love for her children, while
those children spurn her love. Consider her pain. No one is in a position to
console her. This is but a feeble image and likeness of My love. |
|
1448 |
Write, speak of My
mercy. Tell souls where they are to look for solace; that is, in the Tribunal
of Mercy [the Sacrament of Reconciliation]. There the greatest
miracles take place [and]
are incessantly repeated. To avail oneself of this miracle, it is not
necessary to go on a great pilgrimage or to carry out some external ceremony;
it suffices to come with faith to the feet of My representative and to reveal
to him one's misery, and the miracle of Divine Mercy will be fully
demonstrated. Were a soul like a decaying corpse so that from a human
standpoint, there would be no [hope of] restoration and everything would
already be lost, it is not so with God. The miracle of Divine Mercy restores
that soul in full. Oh, how miserable are those who do not take advantage of
the miracle of God's mercy! You will call out in vain, but it will be too
late.
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|
1449 |
Welcome to you, New Year, in the course of which
my perfection will be accomplished. [223] Thank You in
advance, O Lord, for everything Your goodness will send me. Thank You for the
cup of suffering from which I shall daily drink. Do not diminish its
bitterness, O Lord, but strengthen my lips that, while drinking of this
bitterness, they may know how to smile for love of You, my Master. I thank
You for Your countless comforts and graces that flow down upon me each day
like the morning dew, silently, imperceptibly, which no curious eye may
notice, and which are known only to You and me, O Lord. For all this, I thank
You as of today because, at the moment when You hand me the cup, my heart may
not be capable of giving thanks. |
|
1450 |
So today I submit myself completely and with
loving consent to Your holy will, O Lord, and to Your most wise decrees,
which are always full of clemency and mercy for me, though at times I can
neither understand nor fathom them. O my Master, I surrender myself
completely to You, who are the rudder of my soul; steer it Yourself according
to Your divine wishes. I enclose myself in Your most compassionate Heart,
which is a sea of unfathomable mercy. |
Notebook I 1-50 51-100 101-150 151-200 201-250 251-300 301-350 351-400 401-450 451-500 501-521
Notebook II 522-600 601-650 651-700 701-750 751-800 801-850 851-900 901-950 951-1000
Notebook III 1001-1050 1051-1100 1101-1150 1151-1200 1201-1230
Notebook V
1322-1400 1401-1450 1451-1500 1501-1550 1551-1589
Notebook VI 1590-1650 1651-1700 1701-1750 1751-1803
Preparation for Holy Communion 1804-1828
Diary, St. Maria
Faustina Kowalska, Divine Mercy In My Soul
(c) Congregation of Marians of the Immaculate
Conception, Stockbridge, MA 01263.
To
purchase the dairy, visit the Marians of the
Immaculate Conception website
>>DIVINE MERCY APOSTOLATE
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