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Divine
Mercy in my Soul PDF
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Preparation for Holy Communion 1804-1828
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Diary Divine Mercy in My Soul (Notebook II: 522 1000) |
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Notebook 2 |
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522 |
+The
mercy of the Lord I will sing forever, |
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523 |
O
will of God, be my love. My Jesus, You know that of myself I would not have
written a single letter, and if I do write, it is only because of a clear
command of holy obedience. |
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524 |
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O Jesus, hidden God, |
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525 |
O
Holy Trinity, in whom is contained the inner life of God, the Father, the
Son, and the Holy Spirit, eternal joy, inconceivable depth of love, poured
out upon all creatures and constituting their happiness, honor and glory be
to Your holy name forever and ever. Amen. |
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526 |
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The 14th. This Thursday, when we were having nocturnal adoration, at first I
could not pray; a sort of dryness engulfed me. I could not meditate on Jesus'
sorrowful Passion. So I lay prostrate and offered the most sorrowful Passion
of the Lord Jesus to the heavenly Father in reparation
for the sins of all the world. When I got to my feet
after this prayer and walked to my kneeler, I suddenly saw Jesus next to it.
The Lord Jesus appeared as He was during the scourging. In His hands He was
holding a white garment with which He clothed me and a cord with which He
girded me, and He covered me with a red cloak like the one He was clothed
with during His Passion and a veil of the same color, and He said to me, This is how you and your companions are going to be clothed.
My life from birth to death on the Cross will be the rule for you. Fix your
eyes upon Me and live according to what you see. I desire that you penetrate
into My spirit more deeply and understand that I am meek and humble of heart. |
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527 |
On
one occasion, I felt an urge to set to work and fulfill whatever God is
demanding of me. I entered the chapel for a moment and heard a voice in my
soul saying, Why are you afraid?
Do you think that I will not have enough omnipotence to support you? At that moment, my soul felt extraordinary strength,
and all the adversities that could befall me in carrying out God's will seemed
as nothing to me. |
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528 |
On
Friday during Mass when my soul was flooded with God's happiness, I heard
these words in my soul: My
mercy has passed into souls through the divine-human Heart of Jesus as a ray
from the sun passes through crystal. I felt in my heart and understood that every approach to God is
brought about by Jesus, in Him and through Him. |
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529 |
On
the evening of the last day [November 15] of the novena at Ostra Brama, after the singing
of the litany, one of the priests exposed the Blessed Sacrament in the
monstrance. When he placed it on the altar, I immediately saw the Infant
Jesus, stretching out His little arms, first of all toward His Mother, who at
that time had taken on a living appearance. When the Mother of God was speaking
to me, Jesus stretched out His tiny hands toward the congregation. The
Blessed Mother was telling me to accept all that God asked of me like a
little child, without questioning; otherwise it would not be pleasing to God.
At that moment, the Infant Jesus vanished, and the Mother of God was again
lifeless, and Her picture was the same as it had been before. But my soul was
filled with great joy and gladness, and I said to the Lord, "Do with me
as You please; I am ready for everything, but You, O Lord, must not abandon
me even for a moment." |
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530 |
To
the Glory of the Holy Trinity. |
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531 |
November
24, 1935. Sunday, first day. I went at once before the Blessed Sacrament and
offered myself with Jesus, present in the Most Holy Sacrament, to the Everlasting
Father. Then I heard these words in my soul: Your purpose and that of your companions is to unite
yourselves with Me as closely as possible; through love You will reconcile
earth with heaven, you will soften the just anger of God, and you will plead
for mercy for the world. I place in your care two pearls very precious to My
Heart: these are the souls of priests and religious. You will pray
particularly for them; their power will come from your diminishment. You will
join prayers, fasts, mortifications, labors and all sufferings to My prayer,
fasting, mortification, labors and sufferings and then they will have power
before My Father. |
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532 |
After
Holy Communion, I saw the Lord Jesus, who said these words to me: Today, penetrate into the spirit of My poverty and arrange
everything in such a way that the most destitute will have no reason to envy
you. I find pleasure, not in large buildings and magnificent structures, but
in a pure and humble heart. |
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533 |
When
I was by myself, I began to reflect on the spirit of poverty. I clearly saw
that Jesus, although He is Lord of all things, possessed nothing. From a
borrowed manger He went through life doing good to
all, but himself having no place to lay His head. And on the Cross, I see the
summit of His poverty, for He does not even have a garment on himself. O
Jesus, through a solemn vow of poverty I desire to become like
You; poverty will be my mother. As exteriorly we should possess nothing and
have nothing to dispose of as our own; so interiorly we should desire
nothing. And in the Most Blessed Sacrament, how great is Your poverty! Has
there ever been a soul as abandoned as You were on the Cross, Jesus? |
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534 |
Chastity.
There is no need to explain that this vow forbids all those things prohibited
by the sixth and ninth commandments: deeds, thoughts, words, feelings... I
understand that a solemn vow differs from a simple vow; I understand this in
all its implications. While reflecting upon this, I heard these words in my soul:You are My spouse forever; your chastity should be greater than
that of the Angels, for I call no angel to such intimacy as I do you. The
smallest act of My spouse is of infinite value. A pure soul has inconceivable
power before God. |
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535 |
Obedience.
I have come to do My Father's will. I
obeyed My parents, I obeyed My tormentors and now I obey the priests. I understand, O Jesus, the spirit of obedience and
in what it consists. It includes not only external
performance, but also the reason, the will and judgment. Obeying our
superiors, we obey God. It makes no difference whether it is an angel or a
man who, acting in God's stead, gives me orders; I must always obey. I am not
going to write much about the vows; they are clear and specific. I will
rather put down a few general thoughts about this congregation. |
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536 |
There
will never be any splendid houses, but only a small church with a small
community consisting of a few souls, not more than ten, plus two externs to
look after the external affairs of the community and the church. These two
sisters will not wear the habit, but secular dress; they will take simple
vows, and they will depend strictly on the superior who will be cloistered.
They will share in all the spiritual benefits of the congregation. There must
never be more than two and, preferably, only one. Each house will be
independent of the others, although they will be closely united by the rule,
the vows and the spirit. In exceptional cases, however, a sister from one
community may be tranferred to another and also, if
there is question of founding a new house, some sisters may be transferred,
if need be, from another house. Each house will depend on the local ordinary.
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537 |
Each
sister will have a separate cell, but life will be communal as regards
prayer, meals and recreation. Each nun, after her profession, will no longer
see the world, even through a grill, as this will
be covered with a dark cloth, and even the conversations will be strictly
limited. She will be as if dead, not understood by the world and not
understanding the world. She is to stand between heaven and earth, begging
God constantly for mercy on the world and that priests be empowered so that
their words be not empty and that they, in their extraordinary dignity and so
exposed to risks, might keep themselves completely
stainless. Though these souls will not be numerous, they will be heroic
souls. There will be no room for cowardly or effeminate souls. |
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538 |
There
will be no distinction between the sisters, no mothers,[107]
no reverends, no venerables, but all will be equal,
even though there might be great differences in their parentage. We know who
Jesus was, and yet how He humbled himself and with whom He associated. Their
habit will be like that worn by Jesus during His Passion, and they will not
simply wear the robe [He wore]; they must also seal themselves with the marks
He bore: suffering and scorn. Each one will strive for the greatest
self-denial and have a love of humility, and she who will distinguish herself
most in this latter virtue will be the one who is capable of leading the
others. |
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539 |
As
God has made us sharers in His mercy and even more than that, dispensers of
that mercy, we should therefore have great love for each soul, beginning with
the elect and ending with the soul that does not yet know God. By prayer and
mortification, we will make our way to the most uncivilized countries, paving
the way for the missionaries. We will bear in mind that a soldier on the
front line cannot hold out long without support from the rear forces that do
not actually take part in the fighting but provide for all his needs; and
that such is the role of prayer, and that therefore each one of us is to be
distinguished by an apostolic spirit. |
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540 |
In
the evening when I was writing, I heard a voice in my cell which said,
"Do not leave this Congregation; have mercy upon yourself, such great
sufferings are in store for you." When I looked in the direction of the
voice, I saw nothing, and I continued to write. Suddenly I heard a noise and
the words: "When you leave, we will destroy you. Do not torture
us." I glanced around and saw many ugly monsters. So I mentally made the
sign of the Cross and they disappeared immediately. How terribly ugly Satan
is! The poor damned souls that have to keep him company! Just the sight of
him is more disgusting than all the torments of hell. |
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541 |
A
short time later, I heard this voice in my soul: Do not fear anything; nothing will happen to you against My
will. After these words of the
Lord, a strange power entered my soul. I rejoiced greatly that God is so
good. |
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542 |
Postulancy.
[108] Age of admission: any person between the ages of
fifteen and thirty. Firstly, the spirit with which the candidate is imbued
and her character are to be taken into consideration, whether she has a
strong will and the courage to follow in Jesus' footsteps with joy and
gladness, as God loves a cheerful giver. She must despise the world and
herself. The lack of a dowry will never be an obstacle to admission. All
formalities concerning the candidate must be clear; no complicated cases
should be admitted. |
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543 |
The
duration of the postulancy. The postulancy
will last one year. During this time, the candidate should examine whether
she is attracted to this type of life and whether it is suitable to her. The
directress should also diligently consider whether or not the person in
question is suitable for this type of life. After a year, if the postulant
shows evidence of a stable will and an earnest desire to serve God, she
should be admitted to the novitiate. |
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544 |
The
novitiate [109] is to last one year, without any interruption. At
this time the novice should be taught about the virtues relating to the vows
and about the importance of the vows. The directress should do her utmost to
provide a solid formation. Let her train the novices in the practice of
humility, because only a humble heart keeps the vows easily and experiences
the great joys that God pours out upon the faithful soul. The novices should
not be burdened with duties that entail responsibilities, so that they may be
free to devote themselves to their own perfection. They are obliged to
observe the rules and statutes strictly, as are the postulants. |
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545 |
After
a year of novitiate, if the novice proves faithful, she may be admitted to make
her profession for one year. This is to be repeated for three years. She may
then be given duties of responsibility. However, she will still belong to the
novitiate, and once a week she must attend conferences together with the
novices, and she will spend the last six months entirely in the novitiate in
order to prepare well for her solemn profession. [110] |
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546 |
Meals.
We will have no meat. Our meals shall be such that not even the poor will
have any reason to envy us. Still, feast days may differ slightly from
regular days. The sisters will eat three times a day. Fasts, especially the
two great ones, will be observed strictly, according to the original spirit.
The food should be the same for all the nuns without exception so that
communal life may be kept pure. This refers not only to food but to clothing
and the furnishing of cells as well. However, if a sister should fall ill,
she should receive every consideration. |
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547 |
Prayers.
One hour of meditation, Holy Mass and Holy Communion, prayers, two
examinations of conscience, office,[111]
rosary, spiritual reading, one hour of prayer during the night. As to the horarium, it is better to draw it up after we have begun
to live this type of life. |
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548 |
Suddenly
I heard these words in my soul: My
daughter, I assure you of a permanent income on which you will live. Your
duty will be to trust completely in My goodness, and My duty will be to give
you all you need. I am making Myself dependent upon your trust: if your trust
is great, then My generosity will be without limit. |
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549 |
Work.
As poor persons, the nuns themselves will do all the work in the convent.
Each one should be glad when she is given some work which is humbling or
which goes against her nature, as that will greatly help her interior
formation. The superior will often change the sisters' duties, and in this
way help them to detach themselves completely from the little details to
which women have a great attachment. Truly, I often find it amusing to see
with my own eyes souls who have forsaken really great things only to attach
themselves to fiddle faddle; that is, trifles. Each
sister, including even the superior, shall work in the kitchen for a month. Every one should take a turn at every chore which is to
be done in the convent. |
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550 |
And
always and in everything, their intention should be pure, for every sort of
mixed motive is displeasing to God. They should accuse themselves of all
external transgressions, and ask the superior for a penance. They should do
this in a spirit of humility. |
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551 |
How
great should each one's love for the Church be! As a good child prays for the
mother it loves, so also should every Christian soul pray for the Church, its Mother. What then should be said of us religious who
have especially committed ourselves to praying for the Church? How great,
then, is our apostolate, hidden though it be. All
our little daily nothings will be placed at the feet of the Lord Jesus as a
propitiatory offering for the world; but in order that our offering may be
pleasing to God, it must be pure. And for it to be pure, the heart must be
freed of all natural attachments, and all its affections must be directed
towards the Creator, loving all creatures in Him and according to His will;
and, acting thus, each with a zealous spirit will bring joy to the Church. |
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552 |
In
addition to the vows, I see one rule as most important. Although all the
rules are important, I put this one in first place, and it is silence. Truly,
if this rule were to be observed strictly, I would not worry about the
others. Women are very fond of talking, but the Holy Spirit does not speak to
a soul that is distracted and garrulous. He speaks by His quiet inspirations
to a soul that is recollected, to a soul that knows how to keep silence. If
silence were strictly observed, there would not be any grumbling, bitterness,
slandering, or gossip, and charity would not be tarnished. In a word, many
wrongs would not be done. Silent lips are pure gold and bear witness to
holiness within. |
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553 |
But
I want to speak immediately of a second rule; that is, speech. Keeping silent
when one ought to speak is an imperfection and sometimes even a sin. And so,
let all the sisters take part in recreation, and the superior should not
dispense them from this except for a matter of great importance. Recreation
is an opportunity for getting to know one another. Let each sister speak her
mind in all simplicity for the edification of the others and not in a spirit
of superiority nor, God forbid, in a quarrelsome manner, for that would not
be in keeping with perfection and the spirit of our vocation, which should be
especially characterized by love. Twice a day, there will be a recreation of
one half hour. But if a sister breaks silence outside that time, she must
accuse herself before the superior at once and ask for a penance, and the
superior should punish these offenses with public penances, or else she will
answer for this before the Lord. |
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554 |
Enclosure.
[112]
No one may enter the enclosure without the special permission of the Ordinary
and under very special circumstances, such as the administration of the
Sacraments to the ill in order to prepare them for death, and for the burial
rites. There also may be need of letting in a workman to do some repairs, but
for this a specific permission will be required. The door to the enclosure
will always be locked and only the superior will have the key. |
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555 |
The
use of the parlor. None of the sisters will make use of the parlor without
special permission of the superior, and the superior should not permit
frequent visits. Those who have died to the world should not be going back to
it, not even through conversations. But if the superior thinks it right to
permit some sister to go to the parlor, let her observe the following
directions. She herself should accompany the sister, and if she cannot do so,
she should arrange to be replaced by a sister who will be bound to confidence
and must not repeat what she has heard, but who is to inform the superior of
everything. Conversations ought to be short, unless there is permission for
extra time for the sake of the person who has come for the visit. However,
the curtain is not to be drawn aside, except for very special cases, as for
example when a mother or father urgently asks that this be done. |
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556 |
Letters.
Every sister may write sealed letters to the Ordinary to whom the house is
subject. For any other letter, permission is required, and the sister shall
hand the letter unsealed to the superior. The superior is to be guided by the
spirit of love and prudence, and has the right to send or withhold the
letter, in the light of whatever is for the greater glory of God. However, I
would like very much that such communications be as rare as possible. Let us
help people by prayer and mortification, and not by correspondence. |
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557 |
Confession.
Both the regular and the extraordinary confessors for the community will be
appointed by the Ordinary [Bishop]. [113]
There will be one regular confessor, and he will hear the sisters'
confessions once a week. The extraordinary confessor will come once every
three months, and each sister is obliged to see him, even if she makes no confession.
The two confessors will hold their posts in the convent for three years. Then
there will be a secret vote, and the superior will submit the results to the
Ordinary. The confessor can be re-appointed for an additional three years and
even a third three-year term. The sisters will make their confession through
a locked grille. The conferences to the community will also be given through
a grille, covered with a dark curtain. The sisters will never talk among
themselves about confession or the confessors; rather, let them pray for them
that God may give them the light to direct their souls. |
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558 |
Holy
Communion. The sisters should never talk about who goes more and who goes
less frequently to Holy Communion. They should refrain from passing judgment
on this subject which does not concern them. All judgments in this matter
belong exclusively to the confessor. The superior may speak to a sister, not
to inquire why she is not going to Communion, but simply to make confession
available to her. The superiors should never dare to enter into the domain of
the sisters' consciences. The superior may sometimes arrange that the
community offer Communion for a certain intention. Each sister should strive
for the greatest purity of soul, so that she might receive the Divine Visitor
every day. |
|
559 |
On
one occasion, when I entered the chapel, I saw the walls of a building in a
state of disrepair [a torn down building]. [114]
The windows were without panes, and the doors had
only frames with no paneling. Then I heard these words in my soul: This is where the convent will be. I was a little disappointed that these ruins were to
be the convent. |
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560 |
Thursday.
I felt urged to undertake as soon as possible the task which the Lord was
asking of me. While making my confession, I was holding to my own opinion
over that of the confessor. At first, I did not realize this, but when I was
making my Holy Hour I saw the Lord Jesus as He appears in the Image, and He
told me that I must repeat to my confessor and my superiors everything He
says to me or asks of me... and
do only what you receive permission to do. And He gave me to know how displeased He was with
persons who are self-willed, and I recognized that I was one of these. I saw
this shadow of self-will in myself, and I threw myself in the dust [115]
before His Majesty and, with a broken heart, begged His pardon. But Jesus did
not let me remain in this state for long. His divine gaze filled my heart
with such joy that I have no words to express it. And Jesus gave me to know
that I should ask Him more questions and seek His advice. Truly, how sweet is
the look of my Lord; His eyes penetrate my soul to its most secret depths. My
spirit communicates with God without any word being spoken. I am aware that
He is living in me and I in Him. |
|
561 |
All
at once, I saw the image in some small chapel and at that moment I saw that
the chapel became an enormous and beautiful temple. And in this temple I saw
the Mother of God with the Infant in Her arms. And a moment later, the Infant
Jesus disappeared from the arms of His Mother, and I saw the living image of
Jesus Crucified. The Mother of God told me to do what She had done, that,
even when joyful, I should always keep my eyes fixed on the cross, and She
told me that the graces God was granting me were not for me alone, but for
other souls as well. |
|
562 |
When
I see the Infant Jesus during Holy Mass, it is not always the same: sometimes
He is very joyous, and sometimes He is not even looking at the chapel. At
present, He is often very joyful when our confessor [Father Sopocko] offers
Holy Mass. I was greatly surprised that the Infant Jesus loves him so much.
Sometimes I see Him dressed in a colorful pinafore. [116] |
|
563 |
Before
I came to Vilnius and met this confessor, I once saw a rather small church
and near it, this congregation. [117]
The convent had twelve cells: each nun was to live separately. I saw the
priest [Father Sopocko] who was helping me to prepare the convent and whom I
was to meet some years later, but whom I already knew from the vision. I saw
how he was arranging everything in the convent with great care, assisted by
another priest [probably Father Wantuchowski [118]]
whom I have not yet met. I saw the iron grating, covered with a dark curtain,
and the sisters did not go out to the church. |
|
564 |
On
the feast day of the Immaculate Conception of the Mother of God, during Holy
Mass, I heard the rustling of garments and saw the most holy Mother of God in
a most beautiful radiance. Her white garment was girdled with a blue sash.
She said to me, You give Me great joy when you adore the Holy Trinity for
the graces and privileges which were accorded Me. And She immediately
disappeared. |
|
565 |
Interior
mortifications take the first place, but besides this, we must practice
exterior mortifications, strictly determined, so that all can practice them.
These are: on three days a week, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday, there will
be a strict fast; each Friday, all the sisters - each one in her own cell -
will take the discipline [119]
for the length of the recitation of Psalm 50, and all will do this at the
same time; namely, three o'clock; and this will be offered for dying sinners.
During the two great fasts, [120]
ember days [121] and vigils, [122]
the food will consists of a piece of bread and some water, once a day. |
|
566 |
One
day, after Holy Communion, I suddenly saw the Infant Jesus standing by my
kneeler and holding on to it with His two little hands. Although He was but a
little Child, my soul was filled with awe and fear, for I see in Him my
Judge, my Lord, and my Creator, before whose holiness the Angels tremble. At
the same time, my soul was flooded with such unspeakable love that I thought
I would die under its influence. I now see that Jesus first strengthens my
soul and makes it capable of abiding with Him, for otherwise I would not be
able to bear what I experience at such a moment. |
|
567 |
All
the sisters should respect the superior as the Lord Jesus himself, as I
mentioned when speaking about the vow of obedience. They should behave toward
her with childlike trust, and should never murmur or find fault with her
commands, as this is very displeasing to God. Let each be guided by a spirit
of faith in her relationship to superiors; let her ask with simplicity for
all that she needs. God forbid that it ever happen or be repeated that any of
the sisters would be a cause of sorrow or tears to the superior. Let each one
know that as the fourth commandment obliges a child to honor its parents, in
like manner is the religious bound to respect her superior. Only a bad
religious would take the liberty of judging her superior. Let the sisters be
sincere with the superior, telling her about everything and about their needs
with childlike simplicity. |
|
568 |
The
superior should be distinguished by humility and love toward each sister
without exception. She must not let herself be led by likes and dislikes, but
by the spirit of Christ alone. Let her be aware that God will demand of her
an account for each sister. She should not moralize to the sisters, but
rather set them an example of profound humility and self-denial; this will be
the most efficacious lesson she can give her subjects. She should be firm,
but never harsh. She should be patient when bothered with the same questions.
Even if she has to give the same answer a hundred times over, she should do
so with equanimity. Let her strive to anticipate the sisters' needs rather
than wait till they ask for this or that, for people vary in disposition. |
|
569 |
December
15, 1935. From early morning, today, a strange power has been pushing me to
action, not giving me a moment's peace. A strange ardor has been lit in my
heart, urging me to action, and I cannot stop it. This is a secret martyrdom
known only to God, but let Him do with me as He pleases; my heart is ready
for anything. O Jesus, my dearest Master, do not abandon me, not even for a
moment. Jesus, You know well how weak I am of myself; that is why I know that
it is my weakness that forces You to be with me constantly. |
|
570 |
On
one occasion, I saw Jesus in a bright garment; this was in the greenhouse.
[He said to me,] Write what I say to
you. My delight is to be united with you. With great desire, I wait and long
for the time when I shall take up My residence sacramentally in your convent.
My spirit will rest in that convent and I will bless its neighborhood in a
special way. Out of love for you all, I will avert any punishments which are
rightly meted out by My Father's justice. My daughter, I have inclined My
heart to your requests. Your assignment and duty here on earth is to beg for
mercy for the whole world. No soul will be justified until it turns with
confidence to My mercy, and this is why the first Sunday after Easter is to
be the Feast of Mercy. On that day, priests are to tell everyone about My
great and unfathomable mercy. I am making you the administrator of My mercy.
Tell the confessor that the Image is to be on view in the church and not
within the enclosure in that convent. By means of this Image I shall be
granting many graces to souls; so let every soul have access to it. |
|
571 |
O
my Jesus, Eternal Truth, I fear nothing, neither hardships nor sufferings; I
fear only one thing, and that is to offend You. My Jesus, I would rather not
exist than make You sad. Jesus, You know that my love knows no one but You.
My soul is absorbed in You. |
|
572 |
Oh,
how great should be the ardor of every soul who will live in that convent, since
God desires to come and live with us! Let everyone remember that if we
religious do not intercede before God, who will? Each of us should burn like
a pure sacrifice before the majesty of God, but to be pleasing to God, each
one should unite herself closely to Jesus. It is
only with Him, in Him and through Him that we can be pleasing to God. |
|
573 |
December
21, 1935. One day my confessor [Father Sopocko] told me to go and look at a
certain house to see whether it was the same house I had seen in my vision.
When I went with my confessor to see that house, or rather those ruins, at a
glance I recognized that they were the same as I had seen in my vision. The
moment I touched the boards which had been nailed together in place of the
doors, a strength pervaded my soul like a flash,
giving me unshakable certitude. I went away quickly from that place, my heart full of joy, for it seemed to me that
there was a certain force chaining me to that place. |
|
574 |
From
early morning, my spirit was immersed in God. His presence pervaded my whole
being. In the evening, before supper, I went to the chapel for a minute to
share the wafer, at the feet of Jesus, with those who are far away and whom
Jesus loves greatly and to whom I owe so much. Just as I was spiritually
sharing the wafer with a certain person [probably Father Sopocko], I heard
these words within me: His
heart is for Me a heaven on earth. When I was leaving the chapel, in an instant, God's omnipotence
enveloped me. I understood how greatly God loves us. Oh, if people could at
least partly comprehend and understand this! |
|
575 |
Midnight
Mass. During Holy Mass, I again saw the little Infant Jesus, extremely
beautiful, joyfully stretching out His little arms to me. After Holy
Communion, I heard the words: I
am always in your heart; not only when you receive Me in Holy Communion, but
always. I spent these holydays
in great joy. |
|
576 |
O
Holy Trinity, Eternal God, my spirit is drowned in Your beauty. The ages are
as nothing in Your sight. You are always the same. Oh, how great is Your
majesty. Jesus, why do You conceal Your majesty, why have You left Your
heavenly throne and dwelt among us? The Lord answered me, My daughter, love has brought Me here, and love keeps Me here.
My daughter, if you knew what great merit and reward is earned by one act of
pure love for Me, you would die of joy. I am saying this that you may
constantly unite yourself with Me through love, for this is the goal of the
life of your soul. This act is an act of the will. Know that a pure soul is
humble. When you lower and empty yourself before My majesty, I then pursue
you with My graces and make use of My omnipotence to exalt you. |
|
577 |
Once,
when my confessor told me to say "Glory be to
the Father" as my penance, it took me a very long time; and I began many
times, but did not finish, because my spirit became united with God, and I
could not stick to the prayer. Quite frequently, I am unwittingly enveloped
by God's omnipotence and become entirely plunged in Him through love, and
then I do not know what is going on around me. When I told my confessor that
this short prayer often takes very much of my time and that sometimes I
cannot even finish it, he told me to say it right away, there, at the
confessional. However, my spirit became immersed in God and, in spite of my
efforts, I could not think as I wished. And so the confessor said,
"Please repeat after me." I repeated every word, but while I was
pronouncing each word, my spirit would be steeped in the Person I was naming.
|
|
578 |
On
one occasion, Jesus told me, concerning a certain priest [probably Father
Sopocko], that these present years would be the adornment of his priestly
life. The days of suffering always seem longer, but they too will pass,
though they pass so slowly that it seems they are moving backwards. However,
their end is near, and then will come endless and inconceivable joy.
Eternity! Who can understand this one word which comes from You, O
incomprehensible God, this one word: eternity! |
|
579 |
I
know that the graces given me by God are often meant exclusively for certain
souls. Awareness of this fills me with great joy; I always rejoice at the
good of other souls as if it were my own. |
|
580 |
On
a certain occasion, the Lord said to me, I am more deeply wounded by the small imperfections of chosen
souls than by the sins of those living in the world. It made me very sad that chosen souls make Jesus
suffer, and Jesus told me, These
little imperfections are not all. I will reveal to you a secret of My Heart:
what I suffer from chosen souls. Ingratitude in return for so many graces is
My Heart's constant food, on the part of [such] a chosen soul. Their love is
lukewarm, and My Heart cannot bear it; these souls force Me to reject them.
Others distrust My goodness and have no desire to experience that sweet
intimacy in their own hearts, but go in search of Me, off in the distance,
and do not find Me. This distrust of My goodness hurts Me very much. If My
death has not convinced you of My love, what will? Often a soul wounds Me
mortally, and then no one can comfort Me. They use My graces to offend Me.
There are souls who despise My graces as well as all the proofs of My love.
They do not wish to hear My call, but proceed into the abyss of hell. The
loss of these souls plunges Me into deadly sorrow. God though I am, I cannot
help such a soul because it scorns Me; having a free will, it can spurn Me or
love Me. You, who are the dispenser of My mercy, tell all
the world about My goodness, and thus you will comfort My Heart. |
|
581 |
I will tell you most when you converse with Me in the depths of
your heart. Here, no one can disturb My actions. Here, I rest as in a garden
enclosed. |
|
582 |
The
interior of my soul is like a large and magnificent world in which God and I
live. Except for God, no one is allowed there. At the beginning of this life
with God, I was dazzled and overcome with awe. His radiance blinded me, and I
thought He was not in my heart; and yet those were the moments when God was
working in my soul. Love was becoming purer and stronger, and the Lord
brought my will into the closest union with His own holy Will. No one will
understand what I experience in that splendid palace of my soul where I abide
constantly with my Beloved. No exterior thing hinders my union with God. Even
if I used the most forceful words, they would not express even a shadow of
how my soul revels in happiness and inexplicable love, as great and pure as
the spring from which it flows; that is, God himself. My spirit is so prevaded with God that I feel it physically, and the body
partakes of these joys. Although it happens that God's touches vary in the
same soul, they come, however, from the same source. |
|
583 |
On
one occasion, I saw Jesus thirsting and fainting, and He said to me, I thirst. When
I gave Him water, He took it, but did not drink and immediately disappeared.
He was clothed as He was during His Passion. |
|
584 |
When you reflect upon what I tell you in the depths of your
heart, you profit more than if you had read many books. Oh, if souls would
only want to listen to My voice when I am speaking in the depths of their
hearts, they would reach the peak of holiness in a short time. |
|
585 |
January
8, 1936. When I went to see the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski],
I told him that Jesus was asking that I pray for God's mercy upon the world
and that there be a religious congregation which would entreat the mercy of
God for the world. I asked his permission for all the Lord Jesus was
demanding of me. The Arch bishop answered me in these words: "As for
prayer, I give my permission and even encourage you, Sister, to pray as much
as possible for the world and to beg God's mercy, as mercy is what we all
need; and I presume that your confessor certainly does not forbid you to pray
for this intention. But as regards this congregation, wait a while, Sister,
so that all things may arrange themselves more favorably. This thing is good
in itself, but there is no need to hurry. If it is God's will, it will be
done, whether it be a little sooner or a little
later. Why shouldn't it be? There are so many different kinds of
congregations; this one too will come to be if God so wills. Be completely at
peace. The Lord Jesus can do all things. Strive for a close union with God
and do not lose heart." These words filled me with great joy. |
|
586 |
When
I left the Archbishop's house, I heard the following words in my soul: To confirm your spirit, I speak through My representatives in
accordance with what I demand of you, but know that this will not always be
so. They will oppose you in many things, and through this My grace will be
manifest in you, and it will be evident that this matter is My doing. But as
for you, fear nothing; I am always with you. And know this, too, My daughter:
all creatures, whether they know it or not, and
whether they want to or not, always fulfill My will. |
|
587 |
Once,
I suddenly saw Jesus in great majesty, and He spoke these words to me: My daughter, if you wish, I will this instant create a new
world, more beautiful than this one, and you will live there for the rest of
your life. I answered, "I
don't want any worlds. I want You, Jesus. I want to love You, with the same
love that You have for me. I beg You for only one thing: to make my heart
capable of loving you. I am very much surprised at Your offer, my Jesus; what
are those worlds to me? Even if You gave me a thousand of them, what are they
to me? You know very well, Jesus, that my heart is
dying of longing for You. Everything that is not You is nothing to me."
-At that moment, I could no longer see anything, but a strange force took
over my soul, a strange fire sprang up in my heart, and I entered into a kind
of agony for Him. Then I heard these words: With no other soul do I unite myself as closely and in such a
way as I do with you, and this because of the deep humility and ardent love
which you have for Me. |
|
588 |
On
one occasion, I heard these words within me: Every movement of your heart is known to me. Know, My
daughter, that one glance of yours directed at someone else would wound Me
more than many sins committed by another person. |
|
589 |
Love
casts out fear. Since I came to love God with my whole being and with all the
strength of my heart, fear has left me. Even if I were to hear the most terrifying
things about God's justice, I would not fear Him at all, because I have come
to know Him well. God is love, and His Spirit is peace. I see now that my
deeds which have flowed from love are more perfect than those which I have
done out of fear. I have placed my trust in God and fear nothing. I have
given myself over to His holy will; let Him do with me as He wishes, and I
will still love Him. |
|
590 |
When
I receive Holy Communion, I entreat and beg the Savior to heal my tongue, that I may never fail in love of neighbor. |
|
591 |
Jesus,
You know how ardently I desire to hide so that no one may know me but Your
sweetest Heart. I want to be a tiny violet, hidden in the grass, unknown in a
magnificent enclosed garden in which beautiful lilies and roses grow. The
beautiful rose and the lovely lily can be seen from afar, but in order to see
a little violet, one has to bend low; only its scent gives it away. Oh, how
happy I am to be able to hide myself in this way! O my divine Bridegroom, the
flower of my heart and the scent of my pure love are for You. My soul has
drowned itself in You, Eternal God. From the moment when You yourself drew me
to yourself, O my Jesus, the more I have known You, the more ardently I have
desired You. |
|
592 |
I
learned in the Heart of Jesus that in heaven itself
there is a heaven to which not all, but only chosen souls, have access.
Incomprehensible is the happiness in which the soul will be immersed. O my
God, oh, that I could describe this, even in some little degree. Souls are
penetrated by His divinity and pass from brightness to brightness, an
unchanging light, but never monotonous, always new though never changing. O
Holy Trinity, make yourself known to souls! |
|
593 |
O
my Jesus, nothing is better for the soul than humiliations. In contempt is
the secret of happiness, when the soul recognizes that, of itself, it is only
wretchedness and nothingness, and that whatever it possesses of good is a
gift of God. When the soul sees that everything is given it freely and that
the only thing it has of itself is its own misery, this is what sustains it
in a continual act of humble prostration before the majesty of God. And God,
seeing the soul in such a disposition, pursues it with His graces. As the
soul continues to immerse itself more deeply into the abyss of its
nothingness and need, God uses His omnipotence to exalt it. If there is a
truly happy soul upon earth, it can only be a truly humble soul. At first,
one's self-love suffers greatly on this account, but after a soul has
struggled courageously, God grants it much light by which it sees how
wretched and full of deception everything is. God alone is in its heart. A
humble soul does not trust itself, but places all its confidence in God. God
defends the humble soul and lets Himself into its secrets, and the soul
abides in unsurpassable happiness which no one can comprehend. |
|
594 |
One
evening, one of the deceased sisters, who had already visited me a few times,
appeared to me. The first time I had seen her, she had been in great
suffering, and then gradually these sufferings had diminished; this time she
was radiant with happiness, and she told me she was already in heaven. She
told me that God had tried our house with tribulation because Mother General
[Michael] had given in to doubts, not believing what I had said about this
soul. And further, as a sign that she only now was in heaven, God would bless
our house. Then she came closer to me, embraced me sincerely and said, "I
must go now." I understood how closely the three stages of a soul's life
are bound together; that is to say, life on earth, in purgatory and in heaven
[the Communion of Saints]. |
|
595 |
I
have noticed many times that God tries certain people on account of those
things about which He spoke to me, for mistrust displeases Jesus. Once, when
I saw that God had tried a certain Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski]
because he was opposed to the cause and distrustful of it, I felt sorry for
him and pleaded with God for him, and God relieved his suffering. God is very
displeased with lack of trust in Him, and this is why some souls lose many
graces. Distrust hurts His most sweet Heart, which is full of goodness and
incomprehensible love for us. A priest should sometimes be distrustful in
order to better ascertain the genuineness of gifts bestowed on a given soul;
and when he does so in order to direct the soul to deeper union with God, his
will be a great and incomprehensible reward indeed. But there is a great
difference between this and disrespect and distrust of divine graces in a
soul simply because one cannot comprehend and penetrate these things with
one's mind, and this latter is displeasing to the Lord. I greatly pity souls
who encounter inexperienced priests. |
|
596 |
Once,
a certain priest [Father Sopocko [124]]
asked me to pray for him. I promised to pray, and asked for a mortification. When I received permission for a certain
mortification, I felt a great desire to give up all the graces that God's
goodness would intend for me that day in favor of that priest, and I asked
the Lord Jesus to deign to bestow on me all the sufferings and afflictions,
both exterior and spiritual, that the priest would have had to suffer during
that day. God partially answered my request and, at once, all sorts of
difficulties and adversities sprang up out of nowhere, so much so that one of
the sisters remarked out loud that the Lord Jesus must have a hand in this
because everyone was trying Sister Faustina. The charges made were so
groundless that what some sisters put forward, others denied, while I offered
all this in silence on behalf of the priest. |
|
597 |
One
day, after our Mass, I suddenly saw my confessor [Father Sopocko] saying Mass
in Saint Michael's Church, in front of the picture of the Mother of God. It
was at the time of the Offertory, and I saw the Infant Jesus clinging to him
as if fleeing from something and seeking refuge in him. But when the time
came for Holy Communion, He disappeared as usual. Suddenly, I saw the Blessed
Mother, who shielded him with Her cloak and said, Courage, My son,
courage. She said something else which I could not hear. |
|
598 |
Oh,
how ardently I desire that every soul would praise Your mercy. Happy is the
soul that calls upon the mercy of the Lord. It will see that the Lord will
defend it as His glory, as He said. And who would dare fight against God? All
you souls, praise the Lord's mercy by trusting in
His mercy all your life and especially at the hour of your death. And fear
nothing, dear soul, whoever you are; the greater the sinner, the greater his
right to Your mercy, O Lord. O incomprehensible goodness! God is the first to
stoop to the sinner. O Jesus, I wish to glorify Your mercy on behalf of
thousands of souls. I know very well, O my Jesus, that
I am to keep telling souls about Your goodness, about Your incomprehensible
mercy. |
|
599 |
On
one occasion, after a person had asked me for prayer, when I met the Lord I
said to Him, "Jesus, I especially love those souls whom You love."
And Jesus answered, And as for Me, I
bestow special graces on those souls for whom you intercede. |
|
600 |
How
wondrously Jesus defends me; truly this is a great grace of God which I have
experienced for a long time now. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Diary
Divine Mercy in My Soul ( II: 601 650 )
|
|
Notebook 2 |
|
|
601 |
Once,
when one of our sisters [126]
became fatally ill and all the community [127]
was gathered together, there was also a priest [128]
there who gave the sister absolution. Suddenly, I saw many spirits of
darkness. Then, forgetting that I was with the sisters, I seized the holywater sprinkler and sprinkled the spirits, and they
disappeared at once. However, when the sisters came to the refectory, Mother
Superior [Borgia] remarked that I should not have sprinkled the sick sister
in the presence of the priest, as this was his duty. I accepted the
admonition in the spirit of penance, but holy water is indeed of great help
to the dying. |
|
602 |
My
Jesus, You see how weak I am of myself. Therefore, You yourself direct my
affairs. And know, Jesus, that without You I will not budge for any cause,
but with You I will take on the most difficult things. |
|
603 |
January
29, 1936. In the evening, when I was in my cell, I suddenly saw a great light
and a dark gray cross high up within the light. Suddenly, I found myself
caught up close to the cross. I gazed at it intently, but could not
understand anything, and so I prayed, asking what it could mean. At that
moment I saw the Lord Jesus, and the cross disappeared. The Lord Jesus was
sitting in a great light, and His legs, up to the knees, were drowned in the
light so that I could not see them. Jesus bent toward me, looked at me kindly
and spoke to me about the will of the Heavenly Father. He told me that the
most perfect and holy soul is the one that does the will of the Father, but
there are not many such, and that He looks with special love upon the soul
who lives His will. And Jesus told me that I was doing the will of God
perfectly...and for this reason I
am uniting Myself with you and communing with you in a special and intimate
way. |
|
604 |
At
the same time, I saw a certain person [Father Sopocko] and, in part, the
condition of his soul and the ordeals God was sending him. His sufferings
were of the mind and in a form so acute that I pitied him and said to the
Lord, "Why do you treat him like that?" And the Lord answered, For the sake of his triple crown. And the Lord also gave me to understand what
unimaginable glory awaits the person who resembles the suffering Jesus here
on earth. That person will resemble Jesus in His glory. The Heavenly Father
will recognize and glorify our soul to the extent that He sees in us a
resemblance to His Son. I understood that this assimilation into Jesus is
granted to us while we are here on earth. I see pure and innocent souls upon
whom God has exercised His justice; these souls are the victims who sustain
the world and who fill up what is lacking in the Passion of Jesus. They are
not many in number. I rejoice greatly that God has allowed me to know such
souls. |
|
605 |
O
Holy Trinity, Eternal God, I thank You for allowing me to know the greatness
and the various degrees of glory to which souls attain. Oh, what a great
difference of depth in the knowledge of God there is between one degree and
another! Oh, if people could only know this! O my God, if I were thereby able
to attain one more degree, I would gladly suffer all the torments of the
martyrs put together. Truly, all those torments seem as nothing to me
compared with the glory that is awaiting us for all eternity. O Lord, immerse
my soul in the ocean of Your divinity and grant me the grace of knowing You;
for the better I know You, the more I desire You, and the more my love for
You grows. I feel in my soul an unfathomable abyss which only God can fill. I
lose myself in Him as a drop does in the ocean. The Lord has inclined himself
to my misery like a ray of the sun upon a barren and rocky desert. And yet,
under the influence of His rays, my soul has become covered with verdure,
flowers, and fruit, and has become a beautiful garden for His repose. |
|
606 |
My
Jesus, despite Your graces, I see and feel all my misery. I begin my day with
battle and end it with battle. As soon as I conquer one obstacle, ten more
appear to take its place. But I am not worried, because I know that this is
the time of struggle, not peace. When the burden of the battle becomes too
much for me, I throw myself like a child into the arms of the heavenly Father
and trust I will not perish. O my Jesus, how prone I am to evil,
and this forces me to be constantly vigilant. But I do not lose heart. I
trust God's grace, which abounds in the worst misery. |
|
607 |
In
the midst of the worst difficulties and adversities, I do not lose inner
peace or exterior balance, and this discourages my adversaries. Patience in
adversity gives power to the soul. |
|
608 |
February
2, [1936]. In the morning, when the bell awoke me, I was so overcome by
drowsiness which I could not shake off that I jumped into cold water, and
after two minutes the sleepiness left me. When I came to meditation a host of
absurd thoughts swarmed into my head, so much so that I had to struggle
throughout the whole meditation. It was the same during prayer time, but when
Mass began, a strange silence and joy filled my heart. Just then, I saw Our
Lady with the Infant Jesus, and the Holy Old Man [St. Joseph] standing behind
them. The most holy Mother said to me, Take My Dearest Treasure, and
She handed me the Infant Jesus. When I took the Infant Jesus in my arms, the
Mother of God and Saint Joseph disappeared. I was left alone with the Infant
Jesus. |
|
609 |
I
said to Him, "I know that You are my Lord and Creator even though You
are so tiny." Jesus stretched His little arms out to me and looked at me
with a smile. My spirit was filled with incomparable joy. Then suddenly Jesus
disappeared, and it was time for Holy Communion. I went with the other
sisters to the Holy Table, my soul deeply moved. After Holy Communion, I
heard these words in my soul: I
am in your heart, I whom you had in your arms. I then pleaded with Jesus for a certain soul [Father
Sopocko], asking the Lord to grant him the grace to fight, and to take this
trial from him. As you ask, so shall
it be, but his merit will not be lessened. Joy reigned in my soul that God is so good and
merciful; God grants everything that we ask of Him with trust. |
|
610 |
After
each conversation with the Lord, my soul is extraordinarily strengthened, and
a profound tranquility prevails therein and gives me such courage that I do
not fear anything in the world, but fear only lest I make Jesus sad. |
|
611 |
O
my Jesus, I implore You by the goodness of Your most sweet Heart, let Your
anger diminish and show us Your mercy. May Your wounds be our shield against
Your Father's justice. I have come to know You, O
God, as the source of mercy that vivifies and nourishes every soul. Oh, how
great is the mercy of the Lord; it surpasses all His other qualities! Mercy
is the greatest attribute of God; everything that surrounds me speaks to me
of this. Mercy is the life of souls; His compassion is inexhaustible. O Lord,
look on us and deal with us according to Your countless mercies, according to
Your great mercy. |
|
612 |
One
time, I was in doubt as to whether what had happened to me had seriously
offended the Lord Jesus or not. As I could not solve this doubt, I made up my
mind not to go to Communion before first going to confession, although I
immediately made an act of contrition, as it is my habit to ask for
forgiveness after the slightest transgression. During those days when I did
not receive Holy Communion, I did not feel the presence of God. This caused
me unspeakable pain, but I took it as a punishment for sin. However, at the
time of Holy Confession I was reproached for not going to Holy Communion,
because what had happened to me was not an obstacle to receiving Holy
Communion. After confession, I received Holy Communion, and I saw the Lord
Jesus who said to me, Know, My
daughter, that you caused Me more sorrow by not uniting yourself with Me in
Holy Communion than you did by that small transgression. |
|
613 |
One
day, I saw a small chapel in which six sisters were receiving Holy Communion
from our confessor [Father Sopocko], who was wearing a surplice and stole. [l29]
There were no decorations and no kneelers in the chapel. After Holy
Communion, I saw the Lord Jesus as He is represented in the image. Jesus was
walking away, and I called to Him, "How can You pass me by and not say
anything to me, Lord? Without You, I shall do nothing; You must stay with me
and bless me, and this community and my country as well." Jesus made the
sign of the cross and said,
Do not fear anything; I am always with you. |
|
614 |
On
the last two days before Lent we had an hour of propitiatory adoration with
the girls. [130] During both hours I saw the Lord Jesus as He was
after the scourging. My soul felt such great pain that it seemed to me that I
was experiencing all those torments in my own body and in my own soul. |
|
615 |
March
1, 1936. Today during Holy Mass I experienced a strange force and urge to
start realizing God's wishes. I had such a clear understanding of the things the
Lord was asking of me that truly if I were to say that I do not understand
what God is demanding from me, I would be lying, because the Lord is making
His will known to me so clearly and distinctly that
I do not have the least shadow of a doubt about them. I realized that it
would be the greatest ingratitude to delay any longer this undertaking which
the Lord wishes to bring to fulfillment for His glory and the benefit of a
great number of souls. And He is using me as a miserable tool through which
to realize His eternal plans of mercy. Truly, how ungrateful my soul would be
to resist God's will any longer. Nothing will stop me any longer, be it
persecution, sufferings, sneers, threats, entreaties, hunger, cold, flattery,
friendships, adversities, friends or enemies; be it things I am experiencing
now or things that will come in the future or even the hatred of hellnothing will deter me from doing the will of God. |
|
616 |
On
Thursday, when I went to my cell, I saw over me the Sacred Host in great
brightness. Then I heard a voice that seemed to be coming from above the
Host: In the Host is your
power; it will defend you.
After these words, the vision disappeared, but a strange power entered my
soul, and a strange light as to what our love for God consists in; namely, in
doing His will. |
|
617 |
O
Holy Trinity, Eternal God, I want to shine in the crown of Your mercy as a
tiny gem whose beauty depends on the ray of Your light and of Your
inscrutable mercy. All that is beautiful in my soul is Yours, O God; of
myself, I am ever nothing. |
|
618 |
At
the beginning of Lent, I asked my confessor for some mortification for this
time of fast. I was told not to cut down on my food but, while eating, to
meditate on how the Lord Jesus, on the Cross, accepted vinegar and gall. This
would be my mortification. I did not know that this would be so beneficial to
my soul. The benefit is that I am meditating constantly on His sorrowful
Passion and so, while I am eating, I am not preoccupied with what I am
eating, but am reflecting on my Lord's death. |
|
619 |
At
the beginning of Lent, I also asked to have the subject of my particular examen changed, and I was told to do everything with the
pure intention of reparation for poor sinners. This keeps me in continual
union with God, and this intention perfects my actions, because everything I
do is done for immortal souls. All hardships and fatigue are as nothing when
I think that they reconcile sinful souls with God. |
|
620 |
Mary
is my Instructress, who is ever teaching me how to live for God. My spirit
brightens up in Your gentleness and Your humility, O Mary. |
|
621 |
On
one occasion, when I dropped by the chapel for a five-minute adoration and
was praying for a certain soul, I came to understand that God does not always
accept our petitions for the souls we have in mind, but directs these to
other souls. Hence, although we do not relieve the souls we intended to
relieve in their purgatorial suffering, still our prayer is not lost. |
|
622 |
Intimate
communion of a soul with God. God approaches a soul in a special way known
only to himself and to the soul. No one perceives
this mysterious union. Love presides in this union, and everything is
achieved by love alone. Jesus gives himself to the soul in a gentle and sweet
manner, and in His depths there is peace. He grants the soul many graces and
makes it capable of sharing His eternal thoughts. And frequently, He reveals
to it His divine plans. |
|
623 |
Father
Andrasz told me that it would be a good thing to have in God's Church a group
of souls who would beg for His mercy, because in fact we are all in need of
that mercy. After these words, an extraordinary light filled my soul. Oh, how
good is the Lord! |
|
624 |
March
18, 1936. Once, I asked the Lord Jesus to take the first step by bringing
about some change or some external event, or by letting them
expel me, as I found it impossible to leave the Congregation on my own
initiative. And I was in an agony over this for more than three hours. I
could not pray, but kept submitting my will to the will of God. |
|
625 |
In
the evening, when I was praying, the Mother of God told me, Your lives
must be like Mine: quiet and hidden, in unceasing union with God, pleading
for humanity and preparing the world for the second coming of God. |
|
626 |
In
the evening, during Benediction, my soul was for some time in communion with
God the Father. I felt I was in His hand like a little child, and I heard
these words in my soul:
Do not fear anything, My daughter; all the adversaries will be shattered at
My feet. At these words, a
deep peace and a great interior calm entered my soul. |
|
627 |
When
I complained to the Lord that He was taking my help away and that I would be
alone again and would not know what to do, I heard these words: Do not be afraid; I am always with you. After these words, a deep peace once again entered
my soul. His presence penetrated me completely in a way that could be sensed.
My spirit was flooded with light, and my body participated in this as well. |
|
628 |
On
the evening of the last day before my departure from Vilnius, an elderly
sister [131] revealed the condition of her soul to me. She said
that she had already been suffering interiorly for several years, that it
seemed to her that all her confessions had been bad, and that she had doubts
as to whether the Lord Jesus had forgiven her. I asked her if she had ever
told her confessor about this. She answered that she had spoken many times
about this to her confessors and... "the
confessors are always telling me to be at peace, but still I suffer very
much, and nothing brings me relief, and it constantly seems to me that God
has not forgiven me." I answered, "You should obey your confessor,
Sister, and be fully at peace, because this is certainly a temptation." |
|
629 |
When
I entered the chapel for a moment that same evening, to thank God for all the
graces He had bestowed on me in this house, suddenly God's presence enveloped
me. I felt like a child in the hands of the best of fathers, and I heard
these words: Do not fear
anything. I am always with you. His
love penetrated my whole being. I felt I was entering into such close
intimacy with Him that I cannot find words to express it. |
|
630 |
Then
I saw one of the seven spirits near me, radiant as at other times, under a
form of light. I constantly saw him beside me when I was riding on the train.
I saw an angel standing on every church we passed, but surrounded by a light
which was paler than that of the spirit who was accompanying me on the
journey, and each of these spirits who were guarding the churches bowed his
head to the spirit who was near me. |
|
631 |
O
my Jesus, Your goodness surpasses all understanding, and no one will exhaust
Your mercy. Damnation is for the soul who wants to be damned; but for the one
who desires salvation, there is the inexhaustible ocean of the Lord's mercy to
draw from. How can a small vessel contain the unfathomable ocean? |
|
632 |
As
I was taking leave of the sisters and was about to depart, one of them [132]
apologized much to me for having helped me so little in my duties, and not
only for having neglected to help me, but also for having tried to make
things more difficult for me. However, in my own heart, I regarded her as a
great benefactress, because she had exercised me in patience to such an
extent that one of the elder sisters had once said, "Sister Faustina
must be either a fool or a saint, for truly, an ordinary person would not
tolerate having someone constantly do such things out of spite." However,
I had always approached her with good will. That particular sister had tried
to make my work more difficult to the point that, despite my efforts, she had
sometimes succeeded in spoiling what had been well done, as she herself
admitted to me at our parting, and for which she begged my pardon. I had not
wanted to probe her intentions, but took it as a trial from God... |
|
633 |
I
am greatly surprised at how one can be so jealous. When I see someone else's good,
I rejoice at it as if it were mine. The joy of others is my joy, and the
suffering of others is my suffering, for otherwise I would not dare to
commune with the Lord Jesus. The spirit of Jesus is always simple, meek, sincere; all malice, envy, and unkindness disguised under
a smile of good will are clever little devils. A severe word flowing from
sincere love does not wound the heart. |
|
634 |
March
22,[1936]. When I arrived at Warsaw, I went into the
small chapel for a moment to thank the Lord for a safe journey, and I asked
the Lord to give me the assistance and the grace necessary for everything
that was in store for me here. I submitted myself in all things to His holy
will. I heard these words:
Fear nothing; all difficulties will serve for the fulfillment of My will. |
|
635 |
March
25. In the morning, during meditation, God's presence enveloped me in a
special way, as I saw the immeasurable greatness of God and, at the same
time, His condescension to His creatures. Then I saw the Mother of God, who
said to me, Oh, how pleasing to God is the soul that follows faithfully
the inspirations of His grace! I gave the Savior to the world; as for you,
you have to speak to the world about His great mercy and prepare the world
for the Second Coming of Him who will come, not as a merciful Savior, but as
a just Judge. Oh, how terrible is that day! Determined is the day of justice,
the day of divine wrath. The angels tremble before it. Speak to souls about
this great mercy while it is still the time for [granting] mercy. If you keep
silent now, you will be answering for a great number of souls on that
terrible day. Fear nothing. Be faithful to the end. I sympathize with you.
|
|
636 |
When
I arrived at Walendow, one of the sisters [133]
gave me this welcome: "Sister, now that you have come to us here,
everything is going to be all right." I said to her, "Why do you
say that, Sister?" She answered that she felt this in her soul. This
particular person is full of simplicity and very pleasing to the Heart of
Jesus. The house really was in dire straits [financially]. ...I shall not
mention all of that here. |
|
637 |
Confession.
As I was preparing for confession, I said to Jesus, hidden in the Blessed
Sacrament, "Jesus, I beg You to speak to me through the mouth of this
priest. And this will be a sign to me, because he does not know at all that
You want me to establish that Congregation of Mercy. Let him say something to
me about this mercy." |
|
638 |
Jesus,
drive away from me the thoughts that are not in accord with Your will. I know
that nothing now binds me to this earth but this work of mercy. |
|
639 |
Thursday.
During the evening adoration, I saw Jesus scourged and tortured. He said to
me, My daughter, I desire that even in the
smallest things, you rely on your confessor. Your greatest sacrifices do not
please Me if you practice them without the confessor's permission; on the
other hand, the smallest sacrifice finds great value in My eyes, if it is
done with his permission. The greatest works are worthless in My eyes if they
are done out of self-will, and often they are not in accord with My will and
merit punishment rather than reward. And on the other hand, even the smallest
of your acts, done with the confessor's permission is pleasing in My eyes and
very dear to Me. Hold firmly to this always. Be constantly on the watch, for
many souls will turn back from the gates of hell and worship My mercy. But
fear nothing, as I am with you. Know that of yourself you can do nothing. |
|
640 |
On
the First Friday of the month, before Communion, I saw a large ciborium
filled with sacred hosts. A hand placed the ciborium in front of me, and I
took it in my hands. There were a thousand living hosts inside. Then I heard
a voice, These are hosts which
have been received by the souls for whom you have obtained the grace of true
conversion during this Lent. That
was a week before Good Friday. I spent the day in great interior
recollection, emptying myself for the sake of souls. |
|
641 |
Oh,
what joy it is to empty myself for the sake of immortal souls! I know that the
grain of wheat must be destroyed and ground between millstones in order to
become food. In the same way, I must become destroyed in order to be useful
to the Church and souls, even though exteriorly no one will notice my
sacrifice. O Jesus, outwardly I want to be hidden, just like this little
wafer wherein the eye perceives nothing, and yet I am a host consecrated to
You. |
|
642 |
Palm
Sunday. This Sunday, I experienced in a special way the sentiments of the most sweet Heart of Jesus. My spirit was there where Jesus
was. I saw Jesus riding on a donkey's foal, and the disciples and a great
multitude with branches in their hands joyfully accompanying the Lord Jesus.
Some strewed them before His feet where He was riding, while others raised
their branches in the air, leaping and jumping before the Lord and not
knowing what to do for joy. And I saw another crowd which came out to meet
Jesus, likewise with joyful faces and with branches in their hands, and they
were crying out unceasingly with joy. There were little children there also.
But Jesus was very grave, and the Lord gave me to know how much He was
suffering at the time. And at that moment, I saw nothing but only Jesus, whose Heart was saturated with ingratitude. |
|
643 |
Quarterly
confession. Father Bukowski. When some inner force
urged me again not to put off this matter, I was unable to find peace. I told
the confessor, Father Bukowski, that I could not
wait any longer. Father answered me, "Sister, this is an illusion. The
Lord Jesus cannot be demanding this. You have made your perpetual vows. All
this is an illusion. You are inventing some sort of heresy!" And he was
shouting at me, almost at the top of his voice. I asked him whether all of
this was an illusion, and He said, "Everything." "Then please
tell me what course I must take." "Well, Sister, you must not
follow any inspiration. You should get your mind off all this. You should pay
no attention to what you hear in your soul and try to carry out your exterior
duties well. Give no thought to these things and put them completely out of
your mind." I answered, "Good, up to now, I have been following my
conscience, but now that you direct me, Father, to pay no heed to my
interior, I will cease to do so." Then he said, "If the Lord Jesus
tells you something again, please let me know, but you must take no
action." I answered, "Very well; I will try to be obedient. "I do not know why Father was being so severe. |
|
644 |
644
When I left the confessional, a multitude of thoughts oppressed my soul. Why
be sincere? What I have told is no sin, so I have no duty to tell it to the
confessor. And again, what a relief that I do not have to heed my interior any more as long as things are all right on the
outside. I do not have to pay attention to anything or to follow the inner
voices that have often cost me so much humiliation. From now on, I will be
free. And again, a strange pain seized my soul: can I not, then, commune with
the One whom I desire so greatly? The One who is the whole strength of my
soul? I began to cry out, "To whom shall I go, O Jesus?" But from
the moment of the confessor's prohibition, great darkness fell upon my soul.
I feared lest I hear some inner voice, which would occasion the breaking of
my confessor's prohibition. And then again, I die of longing for God. My
interior is torn asunder, not having any will of its own, since it has been
turned over completely to God. |
|
645 |
Then
I saw the Lord Jesus, as He is represented in the image, and He said to me, Tell
the confessor that this work is Mine and that I am using you as a lowly
instrument. And I said,
"Jesus, I can no longer do anything You command me to do, because my
confessor has told me that all this is an illusion, and that I am not allowed
to obey any of Your commands. I will do nothing that You will tell me to do
now. I am sorry, my Lord, but I am not allowed to do anything, and I must
obey my confessor. Jesus, I most earnestly ask Your pardon. You know how much
I suffer because of this, but it can't be helped, Jesus. The confessor has forbidden
me to follow Your orders." Jesus listened to my arguments and complaints
with kindness and satisfaction. I thought the Lord Jesus would be grievously
offended but, on the contrary, He was pleased and said to me kindly, Always tell your confessor about everything I say to you and
command you to do, and do only that for which you obtain permission. Do not
be upset, and fear nothing; I am with you. My soul was filled with joy, and all those
oppressive thoughts vanished. Certitude and courage entered my soul. |
|
646 |
But
after a short while, I entered into the sufferings which Jesus underwent in
the Garden of Olives. This lasted until Friday morning. On Friday, I
experienced the Passion of Jesus but, this time, in a different way. On that
day, Father Bukowski came from Derdy.
Some strange power pushed me to go to confession and tell him about
everything that had happened to me and about what Jesus had said to me. When
I told Father, he was quite different and he said to me, "Sister, don't
be afraid of anything; you will come to no harm, for the ' Lord Jesus will
not allow it. If you are obedient and persevere in this disposition, you need
not worry about anything. God will find a way to bring about His work. You
should always have this simplicity and sincerity and tell everything to
Mother General. What I said to ; you was said as a
warning, because illusions may afflict even holy persons, and Satan's
insinuations may play a part in this, and sometimes this comes from our own
selves, so one has to be careful. And so continue as you have thus far. You
can see, Sister, that the Lord is not angered by this. And Sister, you can
repeat these things that have happened to you at present to your regular
confessor [Father Sopocko]." |
|
647 |
From
this, I came to understand one thing: that I must pray much for each of my
confessors, that he might obtain the light of the Holy Spirit, for when I
approach the confessional without first praying, fervently, the confessor
does not understand me very well. Father encouraged me to pray fervently for
these intentions, that God would give better
knowledge and understanding of the things He is asking of me. "Make
novena after novena, Sister, and God will not refuse the graces." |
|
648 |
Good
Friday. At three o'clock, I saw the Lord Jesus, crucified, who looked at me
and said, I thirst. Then I saw
two rays issue from His side, just as they appear in the image. I then felt
in my soul the desire to save souls and to empty myself for the sake of poor
sinners. I offered myself, together with the dying Jesus, to the Eternal
Father, for the salvation of the whole world. With Jesus, through Jesus and
in Jesus is my communion with You, Eternal Father. On Good Friday, Jesus
suffered in His soul in a way which was different from [His suffering on]
Holy Thursday. |
|
649 |
Mass
of the Resurrection. [April 12, 1936]. When I entered the chapel, my spirit
was immersed in God, its only treasure. His
presence flooded me. |
|
650 |
O
my Jesus, my Master and Director, strengthen and enlighten me in these
difficult moments of my life. I expect no help from people; all my hope is in
You. I feel alone in the face of Your demands, O Lord. Despite the fears and
qualms of my nature, I am fulfilling Your holy will and desire to fulfill it
as faithfully as possible throughout my life and in my death. Jesus, with You
I can do all things. Do with me as You please; only give me Your merciful
Heart and that is enough for me. |
|
Diary Divine
Mercy in My Soul ( II: 651
700 ) |
||
|
Notebook 2 |
||
|
651 |
O
incomprehensible God, how great is Your mercy! It surpasses the combined
understanding of all men and angels. All the angels and all humans have emerged
from the very depths of Your tender mercy. Mercy is the flower of love. God
is love, and mercy is His deed. In love it is conceived; in mercy it is
revealed. Everything I look at speaks to me of God's mercy. Even God's very
justice speaks to me about His fathomless mercy, because justice flows from
love. |
|
|
652 |
There
is one word I heed and continually ponder; it alone is everything to me; I
live by it and die by it, and it is the holy will of God. It is my daily food.
My whole soul listens intently to God's wishes. I do always what God asks of
me, although my nature often quakes and I feel that the magnitude of these
things is beyond my strength. 1 know well what I am
of myself, but I also know what the grace of God is, which supports me. |
|
|
653 |
April
25, 1936. Walendow. On that day, the suffering in
my soul was more severe than ever before. From early morning, I felt as if my
body and soul had separated. I felt that God's presence had penetrated my
whole being; I felt all the justice of God within me; I felt I stood alone
before God. I thought: one word from my spiritual director would set me
entirely at peace; but what can I do?-he is not here. However, I decided to
seek light in holy confession. When I uncovered my soul to the priest, [134]
he was afraid to continue hearing my confession, and that caused me even greater
suffering. When I see that a priest is fearful, I do not obtain any inner
peace. So I have decided that only to my spiritual director will I open my
soul in all matters, from the greatest to the least, and that I will follow
his directions strictly. |
|
|
654 |
Now
I understand that confession is only the confessing of one's sins, and
spiritual guidance is a different thing altogether. But this is not what I
want to speak about. I want to tell about a strange thing that happened to me
for the first time. When the confessor started talking to me, I did not
understand a single word. Then I saw Jesus Crucified and He said to me, It is in My Passion that you must seek light and strength. After the confession, I meditated on Jesus'
terrible Passion, and I understood that what I was suffering was nothing
compared to the Savior's Passion, and that even the smallest imperfection was
the cause of this terrible suffering. Then my soul was filled with very great
contrition, and only then I sensed that I was in the sea of the unfathomable
mercy of God. Oh, how few words I have to express what I am experiencing! I
feel I am like a drop of dew engulfed in the depths of the bottomless ocean
of divine mercy. |
|
|
655 |
+
May 11, 1936. I came to Cracow. I was happy that at last
I shall be able to carry out all that the Lord Jesus was demanding. |
|
|
656 |
When
I talked to Mother General [Michael] about everything that had happened to
me, she said, "Sister, I am locking you in the tabernacle with the Lord
Jesus; wherever you go from there, that will be the
will of God." |
|
|
657 |
June
19. When we went to the Jesuits' place for theprocession
of the Sacred Heart, during Vespers I saw the same rays coming forth from the
Sacred Host, just as they are painted in the image. My soul was filled with
great longing for God. |
|
|
658 |
"Know
that these are hard and difficult things. Your principal spiritual director
is the Holy Spirit. We can only give direction to these inspirations, but
your real director is the Holy Spirit. If you yourself have decided to leave,
Sister, I neither prohibit nor order you to do so. You take the
responsibility for yourself. I say this to you, Sister: you can begin to take
action. You are capable of doing so, and therefore you can do so. These
things are indeed probable; all you have told me up to now [before perpetual
vows in Cracow in 1933] speaks in favor of taking action. Still, you have to
be very careful in all this. Pray much and ask that I be given light." |
|
|
659 |
During
Holy Mass, offered by Father Andrasz, I saw the little Infant Jesus, who told
me that I was to depend on him for everything; no action undertaken on your own, even though you put much
effort into it, pleases Me. I
understood this [need of] dependence. |
|
|
660 |
O
my Jesus, on the day of the last judgment, You will demand from me an account
of this work of mercy. O just Judge, but my Spouse as well, help me to do
Your holy will. O mercy, O divine virtue! |
|
|
661 |
July
16. I spent this whole night in prayer. I meditated upon the Lord's Passion,
and my soul was crushed by the burden of God's justice. The Hand of the Lord
touched me. |
|
|
662 |
July
17. O my Jesus, You know how much adversity I encounter in this matter, how
much reproach I must put up with, how many ironic smiles I
must take with equanimity. Oh, alone I would not be able to survive this, but
with You, my Master, I can do all things. Oh, how painfully an ironic smile
wounds, especially when one [appears to] speak with great sincerity. |
|
|
663 |
July 22. O my Jesus, I know
that a person's greatness is evidenced by his deeds and not by his words or
feelings. It is the works that have come from us that will speak about us. My
Jesus, do not allow me to daydream, but give me the courage and strength to
fulfill Your holy will. |
|
|
664 |
+ O my Jesus, how immensely
I rejoice at the assurance You have given me that the Congregation will come
into being. I no longer have the least shadow of a doubt about this, and I
see how great is the glory which it will give to God.
It will be the reflection of God's greatest attribute; that is, His divine
mercy. Unceasingly, they will intercede for divine mercy for themselves and
for the whole world. And every act of mercy will flow from God's love, that
love with which they will be filled to overflowing. They will strive to make their
own this great attribute of God, and to live by it and to bring others to
know it and to trust in the goodness of the Lord. This Congregation of Divine
Mercy will be in God's Church like a beehive in a magnificent garden, hidden
and meek. The sisters will work like bees to feed their neighbors' souls with
honey, while the wax will flame for the glory of God. |
|
|
665 |
Father
Andrasz told me to make a novena for the intention of knowing better the will
of God. I prayed ardently, adding a certain bodily mortification. Towards the
end of the novena, I received an inner light and the assurance that the
Congregation will come into being and that it is pleasing to God. Despite the
difficulties and adversities, complete peace and strength entered my soul
from on high. I understood that nothing could resist or nullify the will of
God. I understood that I must carry out this will of God despite obstacles,
persecution and sufferings of all kinds, and despite natural repugnance and
fear. |
|
|
666 |
I
understood that all striving for perfection and all sanctity consist in doing
God's will. Perfect fulfillment of God's will is maturity in sanctity; there
is no room for doubt here. To receive God's light and recognize what God
wants of us and yet not do it is a great offense against the majesty of God.
Such a soul deserves to be completely forsaken by God. It resembles Lucifer,
who had great light, but did not do God's will. An extraordinary peace
entered my soul when I reflected on the fact that, despite great
difficulties, I had always faithfully followed God's will as I knew it. O
Jesus, grant me the grace to put Your will into practice as I have come to
know it, O God. |
|
|
667 |
July
14. I received a letter at three o'clock [from Father Sopocko [135]].
O Jesus, You alone know what I suffer, but I will
keep silent and will not say anything about it to any creature, because I
know that no one will comfort me. You are everything to me, O God, and Your
holy will is my nourishment. I am living now on what I will live on in
eternity. |
|
|
668 |
+
July 15. During Holy Mass, I offered myself completely to the heavenly Father
through the sweetest Heart of Jesus; let Him do as He pleases with me. Of
myself I am nothing, and in my misery I have nothing of worth; so I abandon
myself into the ocean of Your mercy, O Lord. |
|
|
669 |
July
16. I am learning how to be good from Jesus, from Him who is goodness itself,
so that I may be called a daughter of the heavenly Father. This morning, when
someone hurt my feelings, I tried, in that suffering, to unite my will to the
will of God, and I praised God by my silence. In the afternoon, I went for a five-minute adoration, when suddenly I saw the crucifix
I have on my breast come alive. Jesus said to me, My daughter, suffering will be a sign to you that I am with
you. My soul was greatly moved
by these words. |
|
|
670 |
O Jesus, my Master and my
Director, it is only with You that I can converse. With no one else is it so
easy to talk as with You, O God. <p |
|
|
671 |
In
my spiritual life, I will always hold on to the priest's hand. About my
soul's life and its needs, I will speak only with my confessor. |
|
|
672 |
+
August 4, 1936. Inner torment for more than two hours. Agony.... Suddenly, God's
presence pervades me and I feel as though I am coming under the power of the
just God. His justice pervades me to the marrow; outwardly I lose strength
and consciousness. With this, I come to know the great holiness of God and my
own great misery. A great torment afflicts my soul; the soul perceives its
deeds to be not without blemish. Then the strength of trust is awakened in
the soul, which longs for God with all its might. Yet it sees how miserable
it is and what utter vanity everything that surrounds it. And face to face
with such holiness, Oh, poor soul.... |
|
|
673 |
I
was tormented by terrible temptations all day; blasphemies thrust themselves
upon my lips, and I felt an aversion for everything that is holy and godlike.
Yet I struggled throughout the day. In the evening, my mind became oppressed:
what's the use of telling this to the confessor? He will ridicule it. A
feeling of aversion and discouragement filled my soul, and it seemed to me
that I could by no means receive Holy Communion in that condition. At the
thought of not receiving Communion, such a terrible pain seized my soul that
I almost cried aloud in the chapel. But I suddenly realized that the sisters
were there and decided to go to the garden and hide myself there so as to be
able to at least cry out loud. Then suddenly, Jesus stood by me and said, Where are you
intending to go? |
|
|
674 |
I
gave no answer to Jesus, but poured out all my sorrow before Him, and Satan's
attempts ceased. Jesus then said to me, The inner peace that you have is a grace, and suddenly He was gone. I felt happy and
unaccountably peaceful. Really, for so much peace to return within a
moment-that is a thing only Jesus can do, He, the most high Lord. |
|
|
675 |
+
August 7, 1936. When I received the article] [136]
about Divine Mercy with the image [on the cover], God's presence filled me in
an extraordinary way. When I steeped myself in a prayer of thanksgiving, I
suddenly saw the Lord Jesus in a great brightness, just as He is painted, and
at His feet I saw Father Andrasz and Father Sopocko. Both were holding pens
in their hands, and flashes of light and fire, like lightning, were coming
from the tips of their pens and striking a great crowd of people who were
hurrying I know not where. Whoever was touched by the ray of light
immediately turned his back on the crowd and held out his hands to Jesus.
Some returned with great joy, others with great pain and compunction. Jesus
was looking at both priests with great kindness. After a while, I was left
alone with Jesus, and I said, "Jesus, take me now, for Your will has
already been accomplished." And Jesus answered, My will has not yet been completely accomplished in you; you
will still suffer much, but I am with you; do not fear. |
|
|
676 |
I
have been talking much with the Lord about Father Andrasz and also about
Father Sopocko. I know that whatever I ask of the Lord He will not refuse me,
and He will give them that for which I ask. I sensed and I know how greatly
Jesus loves them. I am not writing about this in detail, but I know this, and
it makes me very happy. |
|
|
677 |
During
a Mass celebrated by Father Andrasz, a moment before the Elevation, God's
presence pervaded my soul, which was drawn to the altar. Then I saw the
Mother of God with the Infant Jesus. The Infant Jesus was holding onto the
hand of Our Lady. A moment later, the Infant Jesus ran with joy to the center
of the altar, and the Mother of God said to me, See with what assurance I
entrust Jesus into his hands. In the same way, you are to entrust your soul
and be like a child to him. |
|
|
678 |
The
essence of the virtues is the will of God. He who does the will of God
faithfully, practices all the virtues. In all the events and circumstances of
my life, I adore and bless the holy will of God. The holy will of God is the
object of my love. In the most secret depths of my soul, I live according to
His will. I act exteriorly according to what I recognize inwardly as the will
of God. Sweeter to me are the torments, sufferings, persecutions and all
manner of adversities by divine will than popularity, praise and esteem by my
own will. |
|
|
679 |
Good
night, my Jesus; the bell is calling me to sleep. My Jesus, You see that I am
dying from the desire to save souls. Good night, my Beloved; I rejoice at
being one day closer to eternity. And if You let me wake up tomorrow, Jesus,
I shall begin a new hymn to Your praise. |
|
|
680 |
+
July 13. During meditation today, I came to understand that I should never
speak about my own interior experiences, [but] that I should conceal nothing
from my spiritual director; and I will especially ask God to enlighten my
spiritual director. I attach greater importance to the words of my confessor
than to all the lights taken together that I receive interiorly. |
|
|
681 |
+
Amid the greatest torments, I fix the gaze of my soul upon Jesus Crucified; I
do not expect help from people, but place my trust in God. In His
unfathomable mercy lies all my hope. |
|
|
682 |
+
The more I feel that God is transforming me, the more I desire to immerse
myself in silence. The love of God is doing its work in the depths of my
soul. I see that the mission which the Lord has entrusted to me is beginning.
|
|
|
683 |
+
Once, when I was praying fervently to the Jesuit Saints, I suddenly saw my
Guardian Angel, who led me before the throne of God. I passed through great
hosts of saints, and I recognized many of them, whom I knew from their
pictures. I saw many Jesuits, who asked me from what congregation I was. When
I answered they asked, "Who is your spiritual director?" I answered
that it was Father A.... When they wanted to say more, my Guardian Angel
beckoned me to be silent, and I came before the throne of God. I saw a great
and inaccessible light, and I saw a place destined for me, close to God. But
what it was like I do not know, because a cloud covered it. However, my
Guardian Angel said to me, "Here is your throne, for your faithfulness
in fulfilling the will of God." |
|
|
684 |
+
Holy Hour. -Thursday. During this hour of prayer, Jesus allowed me to enter
the Cenacle, and I was a witness to what happened there. However, I was most
deeply moved when, before the Consecration, Jesus raised His eyes to heaven
and entered into a mysterious conversation with His Father. It is only in
eternity that we shall really understand that moment. His eyes were like two
flames; His face was radiant, white as snow; His whole personage full of
majesty, His soul full of longing. At the moment of Consecration, love rested
satiated-the sacrifice fully consummated. Now only the external ceremony of
death will be carried out-external destruction; the essence [of it] is in the
Cenacle. Never in my whole life had I understood this mystery so profoundly as during that hour of adoration. Oh, how
ardently I desire that the whole world would come to know this unfathomable
mystery! |
|
|
685 |
After
the Holy Hour, when I went to my cell, I suddenly learned how greatly God was
offended by a certain person, who was close to my heart. At the sight of
this, my soul was pierced with pain, and I cast myself in the dust before the
Lord, begging His mercy. For two hours, in tears, prayer and flagellation I
prevented the sin, and I learned that God's mercy had embraced that poor
soul. Oh, the price of one single sin! |
|
|
686 |
+
September. First Friday. In the evening, I saw the Mother of God, with Her
breast bared and pierced with a sword. She was shedding bitter tears and
shielding us against God's terrible punishment. God wants to inflict terrible
punishment on us, but He cannot because the Mother of God is shielding us.
Horrible fear seized my soul. I kept praying incessantly for Poland, for my
dear Poland, which is so lacking in gratitude for the Mother of God. If it
were not for the Mother of God, all our efforts would be of little use. I
intensified my prayers and sacrifices for our dear native land, but I see
that I am a drop before the wave of evil. How can a drop stop a wave? O yes!
A drop is nothing of itself, but with You, Jesus, I shall stand up bravely to
the whole wave of evil and even to the whole of hell. Your omnipotence can do
all things. |
|
|
687 |
Once,
as I was going down the hall to the kitchen, I heard these words in my soul: Say unceasingly the chaplet that I have taught you. Whoever
will recite it will receive great mercy at the hour of death. Priests will
recommend it to sinners as their last hope of salvation. Even if there were a
sinner most hardened, if he were to recite this chaplet only once, he would
receive grace from My infinite mercy. I desire that the whole world know My
infinite mercy. I desire to grant unimaginable graces to those souls who
trust in My mercy. |
|
|
688 |
Jesus,
Life and Truth, my Master, guide every step of my life,
that I may act according to Your holy will. |
|
|
689 |
+
On one occasion, I saw the throne of the Lamb of God and before the throne
three Saints: Stanislaus Kostka, Andrew Bobola and
Prince Casimir, who were interceding for Poland.
All at once I saw a large book which stands before the throne, and it was
given to me to read. The book was written in blood. Still, I could not read
anything but the name, Jesus. Then I heard a voice which said to me, Your hour has not yet come. Then the book was taken away from me, and I heard
these words: You will bear
witness to My infinite mercy. In this book are written the names of the souls
that have glorified My mercy.
I was overwhelmed with joy at the sight of such great goodness of God. |
|
|
690 |
+
On one occasion, I came to know of the condition of two religious sisters who
were grumbling interiorly about an order the superior had given them, and for
this reason God had withheld many special graces from them. My heart ached at
this sight. How sad it is, O Jesus, when we ourselves are the cause of the
loss of graces. Whoever understands this is always faithful. |
|
|
691 |
+
Thursday. Although I was very tired today, I nevertheless resolved to make a Holy
Hour. I could not pray, nor could I remain kneeling, but I remained in prayer
for a whole hour and united myself in spirit with those souls who are already
worshiping God in the perfect way. But towards the end of the hour, I
suddenly saw Jesus, who looked at me penetratingly and said with ineffable
sweetness, Your prayer is
extremely pleasing to Me. After
these words, an unusual power and spiritual joy entered my soul. God's
presence continued to pervade my soul. Oh, what happens to a soul that meets the
Lord face to face, no pen has ever expressed or ever will express! |
|
|
692 |
+
O Jesus, I understand that Your mercy is beyond all imagining, and therefore
I ask You to make my heart so big that there will be room in it for the needs
of all the souls living on the face of the earth. O Jesus, my love extends
beyond the world, to the souls suffering in purgatory, and I want to exercise
mercy toward them by means of indulgenced prayers. God's mercy is
unfathomable and inexhaustible, just as God himself is unfathomable. Even if
I were to use the strongest words there are to express this mercy of God, all
this would be nothing in comparison with what it is in reality. O Jesus, make
my heart sensitive to all the sufferings of my neighbor, whether of body or of
soul. O my Jesus, I know that You act toward us as we act toward our
neighbor. |
|
|
693 |
September
14, [1936]. The Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski] of
Vilnius visited us. Although he stayed with us for a very short time, I still
had a chance to talk with this worthy priest about the work of mercy. He
showed himself very favorably disposed to this cause of mercy: "Sister,
be completely at peace; if this is within the plans of divine providence, it
will come about. In the meantime, Sister, pray for a clearer outward sign.
Let the Lord Jesus give you a clearer knowledge of this. I beg you to wait a
little while longer. The Lord Jesus will arrange the circumstances in such a
way that everything will turn out all right." |
|
|
694 |
>
September 19, 1936. When we left the doctor's [137]
[office] and stepped into the sanatorium chapel for a moment, I heard these
words in my soul:My child, just a few more drops in your chalice; it won't be
long now. Joy filled my soul;
this was the first call from my beloved Spouse and Master. My heart melted,
and there was a moment when my soul was immersed in the whole sea of God's
mercy. I felt that my mission was beginning in all its fullness. Death
destroys nothing that is good. I pray most of all for souls that are
experiencing inner sufferings. |
|
|
695 |
Once,
I received light concerning two sisters. I understood that it is not possible
for a person to act in the same manner towards everyone. There are some
people who have a strange way of making friends with others. And then, as
friends and under the pretext of that friendship, they manage to draw the
person out, word by word. Then, when the right moment comes, they use those
very same words to hurt that person. My Jesus, how strange is human frailty!
Your love, Jesus, gives the soul this great prudence in its dealings with
others. |
|
|
696 |
+
September 24, 1936. |
|
|
697 |
Jesus,
You know that I love suffering and want to drain the cup of suffering to the
last drop; and yet, my nature experienced a slight shudder and fear. Quickly,
however, my trust in the infinite mercy of God was awakened in all its force, and everything else had to give way before it, like
a shadow retreating before the sun's rays. O Jesus, how great is Your
goodness! Your infinite goodness, so well known to
me, enables me to bravely look death itself in the eye. I know that nothing
will happen to me without God's permission. I desire to glorify Your infinite
mercy during my life, at the hour of death, in the resurrection and
throughout eternity. |
|
|
698 |
+
Oh, how sorely Jesus is hurt by the ingratitude of a chosen soul! What a
martyrdom it is for His unspeakable love! God loves us with the entire
infinite Being that He is; and imagine, a miserable particle of dust scorns
that love! My heart bursts with pain when I see this ingratitude. |
|
|
699 |
On
one occasion, I heard these words:
My daughter, tell the whole world about My inconceivable mercy. I desire that
the Feast of Mercy [139] be a refuge and shelter for all souls, and especially for
poor sinners. On that day the very depths of My tender mercy are open. I pour
out a whole ocean of graces upon those souls who approach the fount of My
mercy. The soul that will go to Confession and receive Holy Communion shall
obtain complete forgiveness of sins and punishment. On that day all the
divine floodgates through which grace flow are opened. Let no soul fear to
draw near to Me, even though its sins be as scarlet.
My mercy is so great that no mind, be it of man or of angel, will be able to
fathom it throughout all eternity. Everything that exists has come forth from
the very depths of My most tender mercy. Every soul in its relation to Me
will contemplate My love and mercy throughout eternity. The Feast of Mercy
emerged from My very depths of tenderness. It is My desire that it be
solemnly celebrated on the first Sunday after Easter. Mankind will not have
peace until it turns to the Fount of My Mercy. |
|
|
700 |
+
Once, when I was very tired and in much pain, I told Mother Superior [Irene]
about it and received the answer that I should get used to suffering. I
listened to everything that Mother told me, and then I went out. Our Mother
Superior has great love of neighbor and especially great love for the sick
sisters, as everyone knows. And yet, as regards me, it is extraordinary that
the Lord Jesus has permitted that she not understand me and that she test me
much in this respect. |
|
|
|
||
Diary
Divine Mercy in My Soul ( II: 701 750 )
|
|
Notebook 2 |
|
|
701 |
On
this particular day, when I was feeling so bad and still went to work, every now
and then I would feel sick. It was so very hot that, even without working, a
person felt terrible, not to mention what it was like when one had to work
while suffering. So, before noon, I straightened up from my work, looked up
to the sky with great trust and said to the Lord, "Jesus, cover the sun,
for I cannot stand this heat any longer." And, O
wonder, at that very moment a white cloud covered the sun and, from then on,
the heat became less intense. When a little while later I began to reproach
myself that I did not bear the heat, but begged for relief, Jesus himself put
me at ease. |
|
702 |
August
13, 1936. Tonight God's presence is pervading me, and in an instant I come to
know the great holiness of God. Oh, how the greatness of God overwhelms me! I
then come to know the whole depth of my nothingness. This is a great torment,
for this knowledge is followed by love. The soul bounds forward vehemently
toward God, and the two loves come face to face: the Creator and the
creature; one little drop seeks to measure itself with the ocean. At first,
the little drop wants to enclose the infinite ocean within itself; but at the
same moment, it knows itself to be just one small drop, and thus it is
vanquished, and it passes completely into God like a drop into the ocean. At
first, this moment is a torment, but so sweet that, on experiencing it, the
soul is happy. |
|
703 |
At
present, the topic of my particular examen is my
union with the Merciful Christ. This practice gives me unusual strength; my
heart is always united with the One it desires, and its actions are regulated
by mercy, which flows from love. |
|
704 |
I
spend every free moment at the feet of the hidden God. He is my Master; I ask
Him about everything; I speak to Him about everything. Here I obtain strength
and light; here I learn everything; here I am given light on how to act
toward my neighbor. From the time I left the novitiate, I have enclosed
myself in the tabernacle together with Jesus, my Master. He himself drew me
into the fire of living love on which everything converges. |
|
705 |
September
25. I suffer great pain in my hands, feet and side, the places where Jesus' body
was pierced. I experience these pains particularly when I meet with a soul
who is not in the state of grace. Then I pray fervently that the mercy of God
will embrace that soul. |
|
706 |
[September] 29. On the
Feast of Saint Michael the Archangel, I saw by my side that great Leader, who
spoke these words to me: "The Lord has ordered me to take special care
of you. Know that you are hated by evil; but do not fear-'Who is like
God!"' And he disappeared. But I feel his presence and assistance. <p |
|
707 |
October
2, 1936. The First Friday of the month. After Holy Communion, I suddenly saw
the Lord Jesus, who spoke these words to me: Now I know that it is not for the graces or gifts that you
love me, but because My will is dearer to you than life. That is why I am
uniting myself with you so intimately as with no
other creature. |
|
708 |
At
that moment, Jesus disappeared. My soul was filled with the presence of God.
I know that the gaze of the Mighty One rests upon me. I plunged myself
completely in the joy that flows from God. I continued throughout the whole
day without interruption, thus immersed in God. In the evening, I fell as if
into a faint and a strange sort of agony. My love wants to equal the love of
the Mighty One. It is drawn to Him so vehemently that it is impossible,
without some special grace from God, to bear the vastness of such a grace in
this life. But I see clearly that Jesus himself is sustaining me and
strengthening me and making me capable of communing with Him. In all this,
the soul is particularly active. |
|
709 |
October
3, 1936. During the rosary today, I suddenly saw a ciborium with the Blessed
Sacrament. The ciborium was uncovered and quite filled with hosts. From the
ciborium came a voice: These
hosts have been received by souls converted through your prayer and
suffering. At this point, I
felt God's presence as a child would; I felt strangely like a child. |
|
710 |
When
one day I felt I would be unable to carry on till nine and asked S.N. [140]
for something to eat, because I was going to bed earlier as I was not feeling
well, S.N. answered, "But you are not ill, Sister; they only wanted you
to have some rest, so they made up the illness." O my Jesus, my illness
is so far advanced [141] that the doctor has separated me from the sisters
to prevent them from becoming infected, and yet one is judged in this way.
But that's good; all this is for You, my Jesus. I do not want to write much
about external matters, for they are not the reason for my writing; I want in
particular to note the graces granted me by the Lord, because these are not
only for me, but for many other souls as well. |
|
711 |
October
5, [1936]. Today I received a letter from Father Sopocko. I learned that he
intends to publish a holy card of the Merciful Christ. He asked me to send
him a certain prayer [142]
which he wants to put on the back, if he receives the Archbishop's
approbation. Oh, what great joy fills my heart that God has let me see this
work of His mercy! How great is this work of the Most High God! I am but His
instrument. Oh, how ardently I desire to see this Feast of the Divine Mercy
which God is demanding through me. But if it is the will of God that it be
celebrated solemnly only after my death, even so I rejoice in it already, and
I celebrate it interiorly with my confessor's permission. |
|
712 |
+
I saw Father Andrasz today, kneeling and engulfed in prayer, and suddenly
Jesus stood by him and, holding out both hands over his head, He said to me:-
He will lead you through; do not fear. |
|
713 |
October
11. This evening, as I was writing about this great mercy of God and its
great advantage to souls, Satan rushed into my room with great anger and fury.
He seized the screen and began to break and crush it. I was a little
frightened at first, but I immediately made the sign of the cross with my
little crucifix, and the beast fell quiet and disappeared at once. Today, I
did not see this hideous figure but only his anger. Satan's anger is
terrible, and yet the screen was not shattered or broken, and I went on
writing quietly. I know well that the wretch will not touch me without God's
willing it, but what is he up to? He is beginning to attack me openly and
with such great fury and hate, but he does not disturb my peace for a moment,
and this composure of mine makes him furious. |
|
714 |
+
The Lord said to me today: Go
to the Superior and tell her that I want all the sisters and wards to say the
chaplet which I have taught you. They are to say it for nine days in the
chapel in order to appease My Father and to entreat God's mercy for Poland. I answered the Lord that I would tell her, but that
I must first speak about this with Father Andrasz, and I resolved that as
soon as Father comes I will speak to him at once about this matter. When
Father arrived, the circumstances were such that they prevented me from
seeing him, but I should not have paid any attention to the circumstances and
should have gone and settled the matter. I thought to myself, "Well,
I'll do it when he comes again." |
|
715 |
Oh,
how much that displeased God! In one moment, the presence of God left me,
that great presence of God which is continuously within me in a distinctly
felt way. At that moment, however, it completely left me. Darkness dominated
my soul to such an extent that I did not know whether I was in the state of
grace or not. Therefore, I did not receive Holy Communion for four days,
after which I saw Father Andrasz and told him everything. He comforted me,
saying, "You have not lost the grace of God, but all the same, be true
to Him." The moment I left the confessional, God's presence enveloped me
as before. I understood that God's grace must be received just as God sends
it, in the way He wants, and one must receive it in that form under which God
sends it to us. . |
|
716 |
O
my Jesus, I am making at this very moment a firm and eternal resolution by
virtue of Your grace and mercy, fidelity to the tiniest grace of Yours. |
|
717 |
All
night long, I was preparing to receive Holy Communion, since I could not
sleep because of physical suffering. My soul was flooded with love and
repentance. |
|
718 |
After
Holy Communion, I heard these words:- You see what you are of yourself, but do not be frightened at
this. If I were to reveal to you the whole misery that you are, you would die
of terror. However, be aware of what you are. Because you are such great
misery, I have revealed to you the whole ocean of My mercy. I seek and desire
souls like yours, but they are few. Your great trust in Me forces Me to
continuously grant you graces. You have great and incomprehensible rights
over My Heart, for you are a daughter of complete trust. You would not have
been able to bear the magnitude of the love which I have for you if I had
revealed it to you fully here on earth. I often give you a glimpse of it, but
know that this is only an exceptional grace from Me. My love and mercy knows
no bounds. |
|
719 |
Today,
I heard these words: Know, my child, that
for your sake I grant blessings to this whole vicinity. But you ought to
thank Me on their behalf, as they do not thank Me for the kindnesses I extend
to them. For the sake of your gratitude, I will continue to bless them. |
|
720 |
O
my Jesus, You know how difficult community life is, how many
misunderstandings and misconceptions, despite at times the most sincere good
will on both sides. But that is Your mystery, O Lord. We shall know it in
eternity; however, our judgments should always be mild. |
|
721 |
It
is a great, an immeasurably great grace of God to have a spiritual director.
I feel now that, without him, I would not be able to journey alone in my
spiritual life. Great is the power of a priest. I thank God unceasingly for
giving me a spiritual director. |
|
722 |
+
Today, I heard these words: You
see how weak you are, so when shall I be able to count on you? I answered, "Jesus, be always with me, for I am
Your little child. Jesus, You know what little children do." |
|
723 |
+
Today, I heard these words:
The graces I grant you are not for you alone, but for a great number of other
souls as well... And your heart is My constant dwelling place, despite the
misery that you are. I unite Myself with you, take away your misery and give
you My mercy. I perform works of mercy in every soul. The greater the sinner,
the greater the right he has to My mercy. My mercy is confirmed in every work
of My hands. He who trusts in My mercy will not perish, for all his affairs
are Mine, and his enemies will be shattered at the
base of My footstool. |
|
724 |
On
the eve of the retreat, I started to pray that the Lord Jesus might give me
just a little health so that I could take part in the retreat, because I was
feeling so ill that I thought perhaps it might be my last. However, as soon
as I had started praying I felt a strange dissatisfaction. I interrupted the
prayer of supplication and began to thank the Lord for everything He sends
me, submitting myself completely to His holy will. Then I felt profound peace
of soul. + Faithful submission to the will of God, always and everywhere, in
all events and circumstances of life, gives great glory to God. Such
submission to the will of God carries more weight with Him than long fasts,
mortifications and the most severe penances. Oh, how great is the reward for
one act of loving submission to the will of God! As I write, my soul is
enraptured at the thought of how much God loves it and of the peace that my
soul already enjoys, here on earth. |
|
725 |
+
Eight-day Retreat, October 20, 1936. |
|
726 |
+When
I entered the chapel for a five-minute adoration, I
asked the Lord Jesus how I should conduct myself during this retreat. Then I
heard this voice in my soul: I
desire that you be entirely transformed into love and that you burn ardently
as a pure victim of love... |
|
727 |
Eternal
Truth, give me a ray of Your light that I may come to know You, O Lord, and
worthily glorify Your infinite mercy. And at the same time, grant me to know
myself, the whole abyss of misery that I am |
|
728 |
+
I have chosen Saint Claude de la Colombiere and
Saint Gertrude as my patron saints for this retreat, that
they may intercede for me before the Mother of God and the merciful Savior. |
|
729 |
During
the meditation on creation... at a certain point, my soul became closely
united to its Lord and Creator. In this union, I recognized the purpose and
destiny of my life. My purpose is to become closely united to God through
love, and my destiny is to praise and glorify God's mercy. |
|
730 |
+ In this retreat, I shall keep you continually close to My
Heart, that you may better know My mercy, that mercy which I have for people
and especially for poor sinners. |
|
731 |
On
the initial day of the retreat, I was visited by one of the sisters [143]
who had come to make her perpetual vows. She confided to me that she had no
trust in God and became discouraged at every little thing. I answered her,
"It is well that you have told me this, Sister; I will pray for
you." And I spoke a few words to her about how much distrust hurts the
Lord Jesus, especially distrust on the part of a chosen soul. She told me
that, beginning with her perpetual vows, she would practice trust. Now I know
that even [some] souls that are chosen and welladvanced
in the religious life or the spiritual life do not have the courage to
entrust themselves completely to God. And this is so because few souls know
the unfathomable mercy of God and His great goodness. |
|
732 |
+
The great majesty of God which pervaded me today and still pervades me awoke
in me a great fear, but a fear filled with respect, and not the fear of a
slave, which is quite different from the fear of respect. This fear animated
by respect arose in my heart today because of love and the knowledge of the
greatness of God, and that is a great joy to the soul. The soul trembles
before the smallest offense against God; but that does not trouble or darken
its happiness. There, where love is in charge, all is well. |
|
733 |
It
sometimes happens, while I am listening to the meditation,
that one word puts me in very close union with the Lord, and I no longer know
what Father [144] is saying. I know that I am close to the
most merciful Heart of Jesus; my whole spirit is entirely plunged in Him, and
in one moment I learn more than during long hours of intellectual inquiry and
meditation. These are sudden lights which permit me to know things as God
sees them, regarding matters of both the interior and the exterior world. |
|
734 |
I
see that Jesus himself is acting in my soul during this retreat. And as for
me, I try only to be faithful to His grace. I have submitted my soul
completely to the influence of God. This Mighty Ruler of Heaven has taken
entire possession of my soul. I feel that I am being lifted up above earth
and heaven into the inner life of God, where I come to know the Father, the
Son and the Holy Spirit, but always in the unity of majesty. |
|
735 |
+
I will enclose myself in the chalice of Jesus so that I may comfort Him
continually. I will do everything within my power to save souls, and I will
do it through prayer and suffering. |
|
736 |
This
evening, I saw the Lord Jesus just as He was during His Passion. His eyes
were raised up to His Father, and He was praying for us. I %-I |
|
737 |
+
Although I was ill, I made up my mind to make a Holy Hour today as usual.
During that hour, I saw the Lord Jesus being scourged at the pillar. In the
midst of this frightful torture, Jesus was praying. After a while, He said to
me, There are few souls
who contemplate My Passion with true feeling; I give great graces to souls
who meditate devoutly on My Passion. |
|
738 |
+ Without special help from Me, you are not even capable of
accepting My graces. You know who you are. |
|
739 |
After
Holy Communion today, I spoke at length to the Lord Jesus about people who
are special to me. Then I heard these words: My daughter, don't be exerting yourself so much with words.
Those whom you love in a special way, I too love in a special way, and for
your sake, I shower My graces upon them. I am pleased when you tell Me about
them, but don't be doing so with such excessive effort. |
|
740 |
+
O Savior of the world. I unite myself with Your mercy. My Jesus, I join all
my sufferings to Yours and deposit them in the treasury of the Church for the
benefit of souls. |
|
741 |
Today,
I was led by an Angel to the chasms of hell. It is a place of great torture;
how awesomely large and extensive it is! The kinds of tortures I saw: the
first torture that constitutes hell is the loss of God; the second is
perpetual remorse of conscience; the third is that one's condition will never
change; the fourth is the fire that will penetrate the soul without
destroying it-a terrible suffering, since it is a purely spiritual fire, lit
by God's anger; the fifth torture is continual darkness and a terrible
suffocating smell, and, despite the darkness, the devils and the souls of the
damned see each other and all the evil, both of others and their own; the
sixth torture is the constant company of Satan; the seventh torture is
horrible despair, hatred of God, vile words, curses and blasphemies. These
are the tortures suffered by all the damned together, but that is not the end
of the sufferings. There are special tortures destined for particular souls.
These are the torments of the senses. Each soul undergoes terrible and
indescribable sufferings, related to the manner in which it has sinned. There
are caverns and pits of torture where one form of agony differs from another.
I would have died at the very sight of these tortures if the omnipotence of
God had not supported me. Let the sinner know that he will be tortured
throughout all eternity, in those senses which he made use of to sin. I am writing this at the command of God, so that
no soul may find an excuse by saying there is no hell, or that nobody has ever
been there, and so no one can say what it is like. |
|
742 |
My daughter, if I demand through you that people revere My
mercy, you should be the first to distinguish yourself by this confidence in
My mercy. I demand from you deeds of mercy, which are to arise out of love
for Me. You are to show mercy to your neighbors always and everywhere. You
must not shrink from this or try to excuse or absolve yourself from it. |
|
743 |
Two
general resolutions: |
|
744 |
+
I often feel that, apart from Jesus, I get no help from anyone, although
sometimes I am very much in need of clarifications concerning the demands of
the Lord. |
|
745 |
During
Holy Mass, I was so enveloped in the great interior fire of God's love and
the desire to save souls that I do not know how to express it. I feel I am
all aflame. I shall fight all evil with the weapon of mercy. I am being
burned up by the desire to save souls. I traverse the world's length and
breadth and venture as far as its ultimate limits and its wildest lands to
save souls. I do this through prayer and sacrifice. I want every soul to
glorify the mercy of God, for each one experiences the effects of that mercy
on himself. The Saints in heaven worship the mercy of the Lord. I want to
worship it even now, here on earth, and to spread devotion to it in the way
that God demands of me. |
|
746 |
I
have understood that at certain and most difficult moments I shall be alone, deserted
by everyone, and that I must face all the storms and fight with all the
strength of my soul, even with those from whom I expected to get help. |
|
747 |
The
day of renewal of vows [Friday, October 30, 1936]. God's presence pervades my
soul, not only in a spiritual way, but I feel it in a physical way also. |
|
748 |
November
2, [1936]. In the evening after Vespers, I went to the cemetery [in the
sisters' park]. I had been praying for a while when I saw one of our sisters,
who said to me, "We are in the chapel." I understood that I was to
go to the chapel and there pray and gain the indulgences. The next day,
during Holy Mass, I saw three white doves soaring from the altar toward
heaven. I understood that not only the three souls that I saw had gone to
heaven, but also many others who had died beyond the confines of our
institute. Oh, how good and merciful is the Lord! |
|
749 |
Conversation
with Father Andrasz, at the end of the retreat. I was greatly surprised by
one thing that I noticed during each conversation in the course of which I
had asked advice and direction of Father Andrasz, and it is this: I noticed
that Father Andrasz answered all my questions about things which the Lord has
asked of me so clearly and with such assurance that it was as though he were
experiencing it all himself. O my Jesus, if only there were more spiritual
directors of this kind, souls under such guidance would very quickly reach
the summits of sanctity and would not waste such great graces! I give
unceasing thanks to God for so great a grace; namely, that in His great
goodness He has deigned to place these pillars of light along the path of my
spiritual life. They light my way so that I do not go astray or become
delayed in my journey toward close union with the Lord. I have a great love
for the Church, which educates souls and leads them to God. |
|
750 |
October
31, 1936. Conversation with Mother General [Michael]. |
Diary
Divine Mercy in My Soul ( II: 751 800 )
|
|
Notebook 2 |
|
|
751 |
And
so You see, Jesus, that everything is now up to You.
I am perfectly at peace, despite these great urgings. For my part, I have
done everything, and it is now Your turn, my Jesus, and in this way Your
cause will be made apparent. I am totally in accord with Your will; do with
me as You please, O Lord, but only grant me the grace of loving You more and
more ardently. This is what is most precious to me. I desire nothing but You,
O Love Eternal! It matters not along what paths You will lead me, paths of
pain or paths of joy. I want to love You at every moment of my life. If You
tell me to leave, O Jesus, in order to carry out Your will, I will leave. If
You tell me to stay, I will stay. It matters not what I will suffer, in the
one instance or the other. O my Jesus, if I leave, I know what I shall have
to suffer and endure. I agreed to this with full awareness, and I have
already accepted it by an act of the will. It does not matter what the
chalice holds for me. It is enough for me to know that it has been given to
me by the loving hand of God. If you tell me to turn back and stay, I will
stay in spite of all the interior urgings. If You still keep them in my soul
and leave me in this inner agony even to the end of my life, I accept this in
the full consciousness of my will and in loving submission to You, O my God.
If I stay, I shall hide myself in Your mercy, my God, so deeply that no human
eye will see me. Throughout my life, I want to be a thurible
filled with hidden fire, and may the smoke rising up to You, 0 Living Host,
be pleasing to You. I'll feel in my own heart that every little sacrifice
arouses the fire of my love for You, but in such a silent and secret way that
no one will detect it. |
|
752 |
When
I told Mother General that the Lord wanted the Congregation to say the
chaplet in order to propitiate God's anger, Mother told me that at present
she could not introduce new prayers that had not yet been approved... "But
give me the chaplet, Sister, [she said;] perhaps it can be said during an
adoration. We shall see. It would be good if Father Sopocko could publish a
pamphlet with the chaplet; then it would be better and easier to recite it in
the Congregation, for it is a bit difficult to do so now." |
|
753 |
The
mercy of the Lord is praised by the holy souls in heaven who have themselves
experienced that infinite mercy. What these souls do in heaven, I already
will begin to do here on earth. I will praise God for His infinite goodness,
and I will strive to bring other souls to know and glorify the inexpressible
and incomprehensible mercy of God. |
|
754 |
+The
Lord's Promise: The souls that say
this chaplet will be embraced by My mercy during their lifetime and especially
at the hour of their death. |
|
755 |
O
my Jesus, teach me to open the bosom of mercy and love to everyone who asks
for it. Jesus, my Commander, teach me so that all my prayers and deeds may
bear the seal of Your mercy. |
|
756 |
November
18, 1936. Today, I tried to make all my exercises before Benediction, because
I was feeling more ill than usual. So I went to bed directly after
Benediction. But when I entered the bedroom, I suddenly knew interiorly that
I should go to the cell of S.N., [145]
because she was in need of help. I entered her cell at once, and S.N. said to
me, "Oh, how good it is that God has brought you here, Sister!" And
her voice was so faint that I could hardly hear her. She said to me,
"Sister, please bring me some tea with lemon, because I am terribly
thirsty, and I cannot move because I am in such pain." And truly, she
was suffering very much and had a high fever. I made her more comfortable,
and she was able to quench her thirst with the little bit of tea that I
brought her. When I entered my own cell, my soul was engulfed by the great
love of God, and I understood that we should take great heed of our interior
inspirations and follow them faithfully, and that faithfulness to one grace
draws down others. |
|
757 |
November
19, [1936]. During Mass today, I saw the Lord Jesus, who said to me, Be at peace, My daughter; I see your efforts, which are very
pleasing to Me. And the Lord
disappeared, and it was time for Holy Communion. After I received Holy
Communion, I suddenly saw the Cenacle and in it Jesus and the Apostles. I saw
the institution of the Most Blessed Sacrament. Jesus allowed me to penetrate
His interior, and I came to know the greatness of His majesty and, at the
same time, His great humbling of Himself. The extraordinary light that
allowed me to see His majesty revealed to me, at the same time, what was in
my own soul. |
|
758 |
Jesus
gave me to know the depth of His meekness and humility and to understand that
He clearly demanded the same of me. I felt the gaze of God in my soul. This
filled me with unspeakable love, but I understood that the Lord was looking
with love on my virtues and my heroic efforts, and I knew that this was what
was drawing God into my heart. It is from this that I have come to understand
that it is not enough for me to strive only for the ordinary virtues, but
that I must try to exercise the heroic virtues. Although exteriorly a thing
may be quite ordinary, it is the different manner [in which it is carried
out] that only the eye of God catches. O my Jesus, what I have written is
just a pale shadow of what I understand in my soul; these are purely
spiritual things, but in order to write something of what the Lord gives me
to know, I must use words with which I am totally dissatisfied, because they
do not express the reality. |
|
759 |
When
I experienced these sufferings for the first time, it was like this: after
the annual vows, [146]
on a certain day, during prayer, I saw a great brilliance and, issuing from
the brilliance, rays which completely enveloped me. Then suddenly, I felt a
terrible pain in my hands, my feet and my side and the thorns of the crown of
thorns. I experienced these sufferings during Holy Mass on Friday, but this
was only for a brief moment. This was repeated for several Fridays, and later
on I did not experience any sufferings up to the present time; that is, up to
the end of September of this year. In the course of the present illness,
during Holy Mass one Friday, I felt myself pierced by the same sufferings,
and this has been repeated on every Friday and sometimes when I meet a soul
that is not in the state of grace. Although this is infrequent, and the
suffering lasts a very short time, still it is terrible, and I would not be
able to bear it without a special grace from God. There is no outward
indication of these sufferings. What will come later, I do not know. All
this, for the sake of souls... |
|
760 |
November
21, [1936]. Jesus, You see that I am neither gravely ill nor in good health.
You fill my soul with enthusiasm for action, and I have no strength. The fire
of Your love burns in me, and for what I cannot accomplish by physical
strength, love will compensate. |
|
761 |
Jesus,
my spirit yearns for You, and I desire very much to be united with You, but
Your works hold me back. The number of souls that I am to bring to You is not
yet complete. I desire toil and suffering; let everything You have planned
before the ages be fulfilled in me, O my Creator and
Lord! It is only Your word that I understand; it alone gives me strength.
Your Spirit, O Lord, is the Spirit of Peace; and nothing troubles my depths
because You dwell there, O Lord. |
|
762 |
Once,
I saw Father Sopocko praying as he was reflecting on these matters. Then I
saw how a ring of light appeared suddenly above his head. Although distance
separates us, I often see him, especially as he works at his desk, despite
his fatigue. |
|
763 |
November
22, [1936]. Today during confession, the Lord Jesus spoke to me through the
lips of a certain priest. This priest did not know my soul, and I only
accused myself of my sins; yet he spoke these words to me: "Accomplish
faithfully everything that Jesus asks of you, despite the difficulties. Know
that, although people may be angry with you, Jesus is not angry and never
will be angry with you. Pay no attention to human opinion." This
instruction surprised me at first; but I understood that the Lord was
speaking through him without his realizing it. O holy mystery, what great
treasures are contained in you! O holy faith, you are my guidepost! |
|
764 |
November
24. Today, I received a letter from Father Sopocko. [147]
I learned from it that God himself is conducting this whole affair. And as
the Lord has begun it, so will He continue to carry it along. And the greater
the difficulties which I see, the more am I at
peace. Oh, if in this whole matter the glory of God and the profit to souls
were not greatly served, Satan would not be opposing it so much. But he
senses what he is going to lose because of it. I have now learned that Satan
hates mercy more than anything else. It is his greatest torment. Still, the
word of God will not pass away; God's utterance is living; difficulties will
not suppress the works of God, but show that they are God's... |
|
765 |
On
one occasion, I saw the convent of the new congregation. [148]
As I walked about, inspecting everything, I suddenly saw a crowd of children
who seemed to be no older than five to eleven years of age. When they saw me
they surrounded me and began to cry out, "Defend us from evil," and
they led me into the chapel which was in this convent. When I entered the
chapel, I saw the distressful Lord Jesus. Jesus looked at me graciously and
said that He was gravely offended by children: You are to defend them from evil. From that moment, I have been praying for children,
but I feel that prayer alone is not enough. |
|
766 |
O
my Jesus, you know what efforts are needed to live sincerely and unaffectedly
with those from whom our nature flees, or with those who, deliberately or
not, have made us suffer. Humanly speaking, this is impossible. At such times
more than at others, I try to discover the Lord Jesus in such a person and
for this same Jesus, I do everything for such people. In such acts, love is
pure, and such practice of love gives the soul endurance and strength. I do
not expect anything from creatures, and therefore I am not disappointed. I
know that a creature is poor of itself, so what can one expect from it? God
is everything for me; I want to evaluate everything according to God's ways. |
|
767 |
+
My communion with the Lord is now purely spiritual. My soul is touched by God
and wholly absorbs itself in Him, even to the complete forgetfulness of self.
Permeated by God to its very depths, it drowns in His beauty; it completely
dissolves in Him-I am at a loss to describe this, because in writing I am
making use of the senses; but there, in that union, the senses are not
active; there is a merging of God and the soul; and the life of God to which
the soul is admitted is so great that the human tongue cannot express it. |
|
768 |
It
is a strange thing that although the soul which experiences this union with
God cannot find words and expressions to describe it, nevertheless, when it
meets a similar soul, the two understand each other extraordinarily well in
regard to these matters, even though they speak but little with each other. A
soul united with God in this way easily recognizes a similar soul, even if
the latter has not revealed its interior [life] to it, but merely speaks in
an ordinary way. It is a kind of spiritual kinship. Souls united with God in
this way are few, fewer than we think. |
|
769 |
I
have noticed that the Lord grants this grace to souls for two purposes. The
first is when the soul is to do some great work which is, humanly speaking,
absolutely beyond its power. In the second case, I have noticed that the Lord
grants it in order that kindred souls might be guided and set at peace,
although the Lord can grant this grace as He pleases and to whomever He
pleases. However, I have noticed this grace in three priests, one of whom is
a secular priest [probably Father Sopocko] and the other two, religious
priests [probably Father Elter and Father Andrasz],
and also in two religious sisters [probably Mother Michael and Sister Mary
Joseph], but not in the same degree. |
|
770 |
As
for myself, I received this grace for the first time, and that for only a
brief moment, in the eighteenth [149]
year of my life, within the octave of Corpus Christi [June 18-25, 1925],
during Vespers, when I made to the Lord Jesus the vow of perpetual chastity.
I was still living in the world, but I entered the convent soon afterwards.
The grace lasted for a very brief moment, but its power was great. After this
grace, there was a long interval. It is true that I received many graces from
the Lord during this interval, but they were of a different order. It was a
time of trials and purification. The trials were so painful that my soul felt
as though it was being totally abandoned by God and it was steeped in
profound darkness. I became aware and understood that no one would be able to
bring me out of those torments or even understand me. |
|
771 |
In
that same moment, the soul drowns entirely in Him and experiences a happiness as great as that of the chosen ones in heaven.
Although the chosen ones in heaven see God face to face and are completely
and absolutely happy, still their knowledge of God is not the same. God has
given me to understand this. This deeper knowledge begins here on earth,
depending on the grace [given], but to a great extent it also depends on our
faithfulness to that grace. |
|
772 |
Great
is the mutual exchange between the soul and God. When the soul leaves its
concealment, the senses get a taste of what the soul has delighted in.
Although this also is a great grace from God, it is not a purely spiritual
one, for in the first moments the senses do not take part. Every grace gives
the soul power and strength to act, and courage to suffer. The soul knows
very well what God is asking of it, and it carries out His holy will despite
adversities. |
|
773 |
Yet,
the soul cannot proceed on its own in these matters. It must follow the
advice of an enlightened confessor, for otherwise it could go astray or gain
no profit. |
|
774 |
+
O my Jesus, I understand well that, just as illness is measured with a
thermometer, and a high fever tells us of the seriousness of the illness, so
also, in the spiritual life, suffering is the thermometer which measures the
love of God in a soul. |
|
775 |
+
My goal is God... and my happiness is in accomplishing His will, and nothing
in the world can disturb this happiness for me: no power, no force of any
kind. |
|
776 |
The
Lord visited my cell today and said to me, My daughter, I will not leave you in
this community for much longer. I am telling you this so that you will be
more diligent in taking advantage of the graces which I grant you. |
|
777 |
November
27, [1936]. Today I was in heaven, in spirit, and I saw its
inconceivable beauties and the happiness that awaits us after death. I saw
how all creatures give ceaseless praise and glory to God. I saw how great is
happiness in God, which spreads to all creatures, making them happy; and then
all the glory and praise which springs from this happiness returns to its
source; and they enter into the depths of God, contemplating the inner life
of God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, whom they will never
comprehend or fathom. |
|
778 |
And
God has given me to understand that there is but one thing that is of
infinite value in His eyes, and that is love of God; love, love and once
again, love; and nothing can compare with a single act of pure love of God.
Oh, with what inconceivable favors God gifts a soul that loves Him sincerely!
Oh, how happy is the soul who already here on earth enjoys His special
favors! And of such are the little and humble souls. |
|
779 |
The
sight of this great majesty of God, which I came to understand more
profoundly and which is worshiped by the heavenly spirits according to their
degree of grace and the hierarchies into which they are divided, did not
cause my soul to be stricken with terror or fear; no, no, not at all! My soul
was filled with peace and love, and the more I come to know the greatness of
God, the more joyful I become that He is as He is. And I rejoice immensely in
His greatness and am delighted that I am so little because, since I am
little, He carries me in His arms and holds me close to His Heart. |
|
780 |
O
my God, how I pity those people who do not believe in eternal life; how I
pray for them that a ray of mercy would envelop them too, and that God would
clasp them to His fatherly bosom. |
|
781 |
O
Love, O queen! Love knows no fear. It passes through all the choirs of angels
that stand on guard before His throne. It will fear no one. It reaches God
and is immersed in Him as in its sole treasure. The Cherubim who guards
paradise with flaming sword, has no power over it. O pure love of God, how
great and unequalled you are! Oh, if souls only knew your power! |
|
782 |
+
I am very weak today. I cannot even make my meditation in the chapel, but
must lie down. O my Jesus, I love You, and I want to worship You with my very
weakness, submitting myself entirely to Your holy will. |
|
783 |
+
I must be on my guard, especially today, because I am becoming over-sensitive
to everything. Things I would not pay any attention to when I am healthy
bother me today. O my Jesus, my shield and my strength, grant me Your grace
that I may emerge victorious from these combats. O my Jesus, transform me into Yourself by the power of Your love, that
I may be a worthy tool in proclaiming Your mercy. |
|
784 |
+
I thank God for this illness and these physical discomforts, because I have
time to converse with the Lord Jesus. It is my delight to spend long hours at
the feet of the hidden God, and the hours pass like minutes as I lose track
of time. I feel that a fire is burning within me, and I understand no other
life but that of sacrifice, which flows from pure love. |
|
785 |
November
29,[1936]. The Mother of God has taught me how to
prepare for the Feast of Christmas. I saw Her today, without the Infant
Jesus. She said to me: My daughter, strive after silence and humility, so
that Jesus, who dwells in your heart continuously, may be able to rest. Adore
Him in your heart; do not go out from your inmost being. My daughter, I
shall obtain for you the grace of an interior life which will be such that,
without ever leaving that interior life, you will be able to carry out all
your external duties with even greater care. Dwell with Him continuously in
your own heart. He will be your strength. Communicate with creatures only in
so far as is necessary and is required by your duties. You are a dwelling
place pleasing to the living God, in you He dwells continuously with love and
delight. And the living presence of God, which you experience in a more vivid
and distinct way, will confirm you, my daughter, in the things I have told
you. Try to act in this way until Christmas Day, and then He himself will
make known to you in what way you will be communing and uniting yourself with
Him. |
|
786 |
November
30, [1936]. During Vespers today, an unusual pain pierced my soul. I see
that, in every respect, this work is beyond my strength. I am a little child
before the immensity of the task, and it is only at the Lord's clear command
that I am setting about to carry it out. On the other hand, even these great
graces are a burden for me, and I am barely able to carry them. I see my
superiors' disbelief and doubts of all kinds and, for this reason, their
apprehensive behavior towards me. My Jesus, I see that even such great graces
can be [a source of] suffering. And yet, it is so; not only may they be a
cause of suffering, but they must be such, as a sign of God's action. I
understand well that if God himself did not strengthen the soul in these
various ordeals, the soul would not be able to master the situation. Thus God
himself is its shield. |
|
787 |
Today,
during the morning meditation, the Lord gave me to see and understand clearly
that His demands are unchangeable. I see clearly that no one can release me
from the duty of doing the known will of God. A great lack of health and
physical strength is not a sufficient reason and does not release me from
this work that the Lord himself is carrying out through me. I am to be just a
tool in His hands. And so, O Lord, here I am to carry out Your will. Command
me according to Your eternal plans and desires. Only give me the grace that I
may always be faithful to You. |
|
788 |
As
I was conversing with the hidden God, He gave me to see and understand that I
should not be reflecting so much and building up fear of the difficulties
which I might encounter.
Know that I am with you; I bring about the difficulties, and I overcome them;
in one instant, I can change a hostile disposition to one which is favorable
to this cause. The Lord
explained many things to me in today's dialogue, although I am not putting
everything in writing. |
|
789 |
Always
and in all circumstances, yield the first place to others; especially during
recreation listen quietly, without interrupting, even if someone tells me the
same thing ten times. I will never ask questions about something that
interests me very much. |
|
790 |
Resolution:
still the same; namely, to unite myself with the Merciful Christ. |
|
791 |
Hide
me, Jesus, in the depths of Your mercy, and then let my neighbor judge me as
he pleases. |
|
792 |
I
must never speak of my own experiences. In suffering, I must seek relief in
prayer. In doubts, even the smallest, I must seek only the advice of my
confessor. I must always have a heart which is open to receive the sufferings
of others, and drown my own sufferings in the Divine Heart so that they would
not be noticed on the outside, in so far as possible. |
|
793 |
I
am reliving these moments with Our Lady. With great longing, I am waiting for
the Lord's coming. Great are my desires. I desire that all humankind come to
know the Lord. I would like to prepare all nations for the coming of the Word
Incarnate. O Jesus, make the fount of Your mercy gush forth more abundantly,
for humankind is seriously ill and thus has more need than ever of Your
compassion. You are a bottomless sea of mercy for us sinners; and the greater
the misery, the more right we have to Your mercy. You are a fount which makes
all creatures happy by Your infinite mercy. |
|
794 |
Today
[December 9, 1936], I am leaving for Pradnik, just
outside Cracow, to undergo treatment. I am to stay there for three months. I
am being sent there through the great solicitude of my superiors, especially
that of our dear Mother General [Michael], who is so solicitous for the
sisters who are ill. |
|
795 |
I
have accepted the favor of this treatment, but I am fully resigned to the
will of God. Let God do with me as He pleases. I desire nothing but the
fulfillment of His holy will. I am uniting myself with the Mother of God, and
I am leaving Nazareth and going to Bethlehem. I will spend Christmas there
among strangers, but with Jesus, Mary and Joseph, because such is the will of
God. I am striving to do the will of God in all things. I do not desire a return
to health more than death. I entrust myself completely to His infinite mercy
and, as a little child, I am living in the greatest peace. I am trying only
to make my love for Him deeper and purer, to be a delight to His divine
glance... |
|
796 |
The
Lord told me to say this chaplet for nine days before the Feast of Mercy. It
is to begin on Good Friday.
By this novena, I will grant every possible grace to souls. |
|
797 |
When
I was somewhat overcome by the fear that I was to be outside the community for
so long a time alone, Jesus said to me, You will not be alone, because I am with you always and
everywhere. Near to My Heart, fear nothing. I myself am the cause of your
departure. Know that My eyes follow every move of your heart with great
attention. I am bringing you into seclusion so that I myself may form your
heart according to My future plans. What are you afraid of? If you are with
Me, who will dare touch you? Nevertheless, I am very pleased that you confide
your fears to Me, My daughter: Speak to Me about everything in a completely
simple and human way; by this you will give Me great joy. I understand you
because I am God-Man. This simple language of your heart is more pleasing to
Me than the hymns composed in My honor. Know, My daughter, that the simpler
your speech is, the more you attract Me to yourself. And now, be at peace
close to My Heart. Lay your pen aside and get ready to leave. |
|
798 |
December
9, 1936. This morning, I left for Pradnik. Sister
Chrysostom drove me here. I have a private room to myself; I am very much
like a Carmelite. When Sister Chrysostom had left and I was alone, I steeped
myself in prayer, entrusting myself to the special protection of the Mother
of God. She alone is always with me. She, like a good Mother, watches over
all my trials and efforts. |
|
799 |
Suddenly,
I saw the Lord Jesus, who said to me, Be
at peace, My child. See, you are not alone. My Heart watches over you. Jesus filled me with strength concerning a certain
person. I feel strength within my soul. A moral principle. |
|
800 |
If
one does not know what is better, one must reflect, consider and seek advice,
because one must not act with an uncertain conscience. When uncertain, say to . yourself: "Whatever I
do will be good. I have the intention of doing good."
The Lord God accepts what we consider good, and the Lord God also accepts and
considers it as good. One should not worry if, after some time, one sees that
these things are not good. God looks at the intention with which we begin,
and will reward us accordingly. This is a principle which we ought to follow. |
Diary
Divine Mercy in My Soul ( II: 801 850 )
|
|
Notebook 2 |
|
|
801 |
Today,
I still managed to pay a short visit to the Lord [in the Eucharist] before
going to bed. My spirit was immersed in Him as in its only treasure. My heart
rested a while near the Heart of my Spouse. I received light as to how I
should behave toward those around me, and then I returned to my solitude. The
doctor is taking good care of me; all those around me are very kind to me. |
|
802 |
December
10, [1936]. I got up earlier today and made my meditation before Holy Mass.
Holy Mass is at six o'clock here. After Holy Communion my spirit was drowned
in the Lord as in the sole object of its love. I felt absorbed by His
omnipotence. When I came back to my private room, I felt sick and had to lie
down at once. The sister [150]
brought me some medication, but I felt bad all day. In the evening, I tried
to make a Holy Hour, but I could not do so; all I could do was unite myself
with the suffering Jesus. |
|
803 |
My
room is next to the men's ward. I didn't know that men were such
chatterboxes. From morning till late at night, there is talk about various
subjects. The women's ward is much quieter. It is women who are always blamed
for this; but I have had occasion to be convinced that the opposite is true.
It is very difficult for me to concentrate on my prayer in the midst of these
jokes and this laughter. They do not disturb me when the grace of God takes
complete possession of me, because then I do not know what is going on around
me. |
|
804 |
My
Jesus, how little these people talk about You. They talk about everything but
You, Jesus. And if they talk so little [about You], it is quite probable that
they do not think about You at all. The whole world interests them; but about
You, their Creator, there is silence. Jesus, I am sad to see this great
indifference and ingratitude of creatures. O my Jesus, I want to love You for
them and to make atonement to You, by my love. |
|
805 |
From
early morning, I felt the nearness of the Blessed Mother. During Holy Mass, I
saw Her, so lovely and so beautiful that I have no words to express even a
small part of this beauty. She was all [in] white, with a blue sash around
Her waist. Her cloak was also blue, and there was a crown on Her head.
Marvelous light streamed forth from Her whole figure. I am the Queen of
heaven and earth, but especially the Mother of your [Congregation]. She
pressed me to Her heart and said, I feel
constant compassion for you. I felt the force of Her Immaculate Heart
which was communicated to my soul. Now I understand why I have been preparing
for this feast for two months and have been looking forward to it with such
yearning. From today onwards, I am going to strive for the greatest purity of
soul, that the rays of God's grace may be reflected in all their brilliance.
I long to be a crystal in order to find favor in His eyes. |
|
806 |
+
That same day, I saw a certain priest [probably Father Sopocko or Father
Andrasz] who was surrounded by the light which flowed from Her; evidently,
this soul loves the Immaculate One. |
|
807 |
An
extraordinary yearning fills my soul. I am surprised that it does not
separate the soul from the body. I desire God; I want to become immersed in
Him. I understand that I am in a terrible exile; my soul aspires for God with
all its might. O you inhabitants of my fatherland, be mindful of this exile!
When will the veils be lifted for me as well? Although I see and feel to a
certain extent how very thin is the veil separating me from the Lord, I long
to see Him face to face; but let everything be done according to Your will. |
|
808 |
December
11. I could not assist at the whole Mass today; I assisted at only the most
important parts, and after receiving Holy Communion I immediately returned to
my solitude. The presence of God suddenly enveloped me, and at the same
moment I felt the Passion of the Lord, for a very short while. During that
moment, I attained a more profound knowledge of the work of mercy. |
|
809 |
During
the night, I was suddenly awakened and knew that some soul was asking me for
prayer, and that it was in much need of prayer. Briefly, but with all my
soul, I asked the Lord for grace for her. |
|
810 |
The
following afternoon, when I entered the ward, I saw someone dying, and
learned that the agony had started during the night. When I verified it-it
had been at the time when I had been asked for prayer. And just then, I heard
a voice in my soul: Say the chaplet which
I taught you. I ran to fetch
my rosary and knelt down by the dying person and, with all the ardor of my soul, I began to say the chaplet. Suddenly the dying
person opened her eyes and looked at me; I had not managed to finish the
entire chaplet when she died, with extraordinary peace. I fervently asked the
Lord to fulfill the promise He had given me for the recitation of the chaplet.
The Lord gave me to know that the soul had been granted the grace He had
promised me. That was the first soul to receive the benefit of the Lord's
promise. I could feel the power of mercy envelop that soul. |
|
811 |
When
I entered my solitude, I heard these words: At the hour of their death, I defend as My own glory every
soul that will say this chaplet; or when others say it for a dying person,
the indulgence is the same. When this chaplet is said by the bedside of a
dying person, God's anger is placated, unfathomable mercy envelops the soul,
and the very depths of My tender mercy are moved for the sake of the
sorrowful Passion of My Son. |
|
812 |
+
Today I have fought a battle with the spirits of darkness over one soul. How
terribly Satan hates God's mercy! I see how he opposes this whole work. |
|
813 |
+
O merciful Jesus, stretched on the cross, be mindful
of the hour of our death. O most merciful Heart of Jesus, opened with a
lance, shelter me at the last moment of my life. O Blood and Water, which
gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fount of unfathomable mercy for me
at the hour of my death, O dying Jesus, Hostage of mercy, avert the Divine
wrath at the hour of my death. |
|
814 |
+
December 12, [1936]. Today, I only received Holy Communion and stayed for a
few moments of the Mass. All my strength is in You, O Living Bread. It would
be difficult for me to live through the day if I did not receive Holy
Communion. It is my shield; without You, Jesus, I know not how to live. |
|
815 |
Jesus,
my Love, today gave me to understand how much He loves me, although there is
such an enormous gap between us, the Creator and the creature; and yet, in a
way, there is something like equality: love fills up the gap. He himself
descends to me and makes me capable of communing with Him. I immerse myself
in Him, losing myself as it were; and yet, under His loving gaze, my soul
gains strength and power and an awareness that it
loves and is especially loved. It knows that the Mighty One protects it. Such
prayer, though short, benefits the soul greatly, and whole hours of ordinary
prayer do not give the soul that light which is given by a brief moment of
this higher form of prayer. |
|
816 |
+
This afternoon, I had my first open-air rest [on the sunny veranda at the
sanatorium]. Sister Felicia [151]
visited me today and brought a few necessary things and some lovely apples
and words of greeting from our beloved Mother Superior and dear sisters. |
|
817 |
When
I reflected that I had not been to confession for more than three weeks, I
wept seeing the sinfulness of my soul and certain difficulties. I had not
gone to confession because the circumstances made it impossible. On the day
of confessions, I had been confined to bed. The following week, confessions
were in the afternoon, and I had left for the hospital that morning. This
afternoon, Father Andrasz came into my room and sat down to hear my
confession. Beforehand, we did not exchange a single word. I was delighted
because I was extremely anxious to go to confession. As usual, I unveiled my
whole soul. Father gave a reply to each little detail. I felt unusually happy
to be able to say everything as I did. For penance, he gave me the Litany of
the Holy Name of Jesus. When I wanted to tell him of the difficulty I have in
saying this litany, he rose and began to give me absolution. Suddenly his
figure became diffused with a great light, and I saw that it was not Father
A., but Jesus. His garments were bright as snow, and He disappeared
immediately. At first, I was a little uneasy, but after a while a kind of
peace entered my soul; and I took note of the fact that Jesus heard the
confession in the same way that confessors do; and yet something was
wondrously transpiring in my heart during this confession; I couldn't at
first understand what it signified. |
|
818 |
December
16, [1936]. I have offered this day for Russia. I have offered all my
sufferings and prayers for that poor country. After Holy Communion, Jesus
said to me, I cannot suffer that
country any longer. Do not tie my hands, My daughter. I understood that if it had not been for the prayers
of souls that are pleasing to God, that whole nation would have already been
reduced to nothingness. Oh, how I suffer for that nation which has banished God
from its borders! |
|
819 |
+
O inexhaustible spring of Divine Mercy, pour yourself out upon us! Your
Goodness knows no limits. Confirm, O Lord, the power of Your mercy over the
abyss of my misery, for You have no limit to Your mercies. Wonderful and
matchless is Your mercy, astonishing the human and angelic mind. |
|
820 |
My
Guardian Angel told me to pray for a certain soul, and in the morning I
learned that it was a man whose agony had begun that very moment. The Lord
Jesus makes it known to me in a special way when someone is in need of my
prayer. I especially know when my prayer is needed by a dying soul. This
happens more often now than it did in the past. |
|
821 |
The
Lord Jesus gave me to know how very pleasing to Him is a
soul who lives in accordance with the will of God. It thereby gives
very great glory to God... |
|
822 |
I
have come to understand today that even if I did not accomplish any of the
things the Lord is demanding of me, I know that I shall be rewarded as if I
had fulfilled everything, because He sees the intention with which I begin,
and even if He called me to himself today, the work would not suffer at all
by that, because He himself is the Lord of both the work and the worker. My
part is to love Him to folly; all works are nothing more than a tiny drop
before Him. It is love that has meaning and power and merit. He has opened up
great horizons in my soul-love compensates for the chasms. |
|
823 |
December
17, [1936]. I have offered this day for priests. I have suffered more today
than ever before, both interiorly and exteriorly. I did not know it was
possible to suffer so much in one day. I tried to make a Holy Hour, in the
course of which my spirit had a taste of the bitterness of the Garden of
Gethsemane. I am fighting alone, supported by His arm, against all the
difficulties that face me like unassailable walls. But I trust in the power
of His name and I fear nothing. |
|
824 |
In
this seclusion, Jesus himself is my Master. He himself educates and instructs
me. I feel that I am the object of His special action. For His inscrutable
purposes and unfathomable decrees, He unites me to Himself in a special way
and allows me to penetrate His incomprehensible mysteries. There is one
mystery which unites me with the Lord, of which no one-not even angels-may
know. And even if I wanted to tell of it, I would not know how to express it.
And yet, I live by it and will live by it for ever.
This mystery distinguishes me from every other soul here on earth or in
eternity. |
|
825 |
+
O bright and clear day on which all my dreams will be fulfilled; O day so
eagerly desired, the last day of my life! I look forward with joy to the last
stroke the Divine Artist will trace on my soul, which will give my soul a
unique beauty that will distinguish me from the beauty of other souls. O
great day, on which divine love will be confirmed in me. On that day, for the
first time, I shall sing before heaven and earth the song of the Lord's
fathomless mercy. This is my work and the mission which the Lord has destined
for me from the beginning of the world. That the song of my soul may be
pleasing to the Holy Trinity, do You, O Spirit of God, direct and form my
soul yourself. I arm myself with patience and await Your coming, O merciful
God, and as to the terrible pains and fear of death, at this moment more than
at any other time, I trust in the abyss of Your mercy and am reminding You, O
merciful Jesus, sweet Savior, of all the promises You have made to me. |
|
826 |
This
morning I had an adventure. My watch had stopped, and I did not know when to
get up, and I thought of what a misfortune it would be to miss Holy
Communion. It was still dark, so I had no way of knowing whether it was time
to get up. I dressed, made my meditation and went to the chapel, but
everything was still locked, and silence reigned everywhere. I steeped myself
in prayer, especially for the sick. I now see how much the sick have need of
prayer. Finally, the chapel was opened. I found it difficult to pray because
I was already feeling very exhausted, and immediately after Holy Communion I
returned to my room. Then I saw the Lord, who said to me, Know, My daughter, that the ardor of your heart is pleasing to
Me. And just as you desire ardently to become united with Me in Holy
Communion, so too do I desire to give Myself wholly to you; and as a reward
for your zeal, rest on My Heart.
At that moment, my spirit was immersed in His Being, like a drop in a
bottomless ocean. I drowned myself in Him as in my sole treasure. Thus I came
to recognize that the Lord allows certain difficulties for His greater glory.
|
|
827 |
December
18, [1936]. Today I felt bad that a week had gone by and no one had come to
visit me. [152] When I complained to the Lord, He answered, Isn't it enough for you that I visit you every day? I apologized to the Lord and the hurt vanished. O
God, my strength, You are sufficient for me. |
|
828 |
This
evening, I learned that a certain soul was in need of my prayer. I prayed
fervently, but felt that this was still not enough, so I continued to pray
for a longer time. On the following day, I learned that the agony of a
certain soul had started at just that time and had continued until morning. I
recognized what struggles it had gone through. In a strange way, the Lord
Jesus makes known to me that a dying soul has need of my prayer. I feel
vividly and clearly that spirit who is asking me for prayer. I was not aware
that souls are so closely united, and often it is my Guardian Angel who tells
me. |
|
829 |
During
Holy Mass, the little Infant Jesus brings joy to my soul. Often, distance
does not exist - I see a certain priest who brings Him down. I am awaiting Christmas with great yearning; I am living in
expectation together with the Most Holy Mother. |
|
830 |
O
Light Eternal, who come to this earth, enlighten my mind and strengthen my
will that I may not give up in times of great affliction.
May Your light dissipate all the shadows of doubt.
May Your omnipotence act through me. I trust in You, O uncreated Light! You,
O Infant Jesus, are a model for me in accomplishing Your Father's will, You,
who said, "Behold, I come to do Your will." Grant that I also may
do God's will faithfully in all things. O Divine Infant, grant me this grace!
|
|
831 |
O
my Jesus, my soul was yearning for the days of trial, but do not leave me
alone in the darkness of my soul. Rather, do You hold me firmly, close to Yourself. Set a guard over my lips, so that the fragrance
of my sufferings may be known and pleasing to You alone. |
|
832 |
O
merciful Jesus, how longingly You hurried to the Upper Room to consecrate the
Host that I am to receive in my life. Jesus, You desired to dwell in my
heart. Your living Blood unites with mine. Who can understand this close
union? My heart encloses within itself the Almighty, the Infinite One. 0
Jesus, continue to grant me Your divine life. Let Your pure and noble Blood
throb with all its might in my heart. I give You my whole being. Transform me
into Yourself and make me capable of doing Your holy will in all things and
of returning Your love. O my sweet Spouse, You know that my heart knows no
one but You. You have opened up in my heart an insatiable depth of love for
You. From the very first moment it knew You, my heart has loved You and has
lost itself in You as its one and only object. May Your pure and omnipotent
love be the driving force of all my actions. Who
will ever conceive and understand the depth of mercy that has gushed forth
from Your Heart? |
|
833 |
I
have experienced how much envy there is, even in religious life. I see that
there are few truly great souls, ready to trample on everything that is not
God. O soul, you will find no beauty outside of God. Oh, how fragile is the
foundation of those who elevate themselves at the expense of others! What a
loss! |
|
834 |
December
19,[1936]. This evening, I felt in my soul , that a certain person had need of my prayer.
Immediately, I began to pray. Suddenly, I realize interiorly and am aware of who the spirit is who is asking this of me; I pray until I
feel at peace. There is great help for the dying in this chaplet. I often
pray for an intention that I have learned of interiorly. I always pray until
I experience in my soul that the prayer has had its effect. |
|
835 |
Especially
now, while I am in this hospital, I experience an inner communion with the
dying who ask me for prayer when their agony begins. God has given me a
wondrous contact with the dying! Since this has been happening more
frequently, I have been able to verify it, even to the exact hour. |
|
836 |
O
most sweet Jesus, who have deigned to allow miserable me to gain a knowledge
of Your unfathomable mercy; O most sweet Jesus, who have graciously demanded that
I tell the whole world of Your incomprehensible mercy, this day I take into
my hands the two rays that spring from Your merciful Heart; that is, the
Blood and the Water; and I scatter them all over the globe so that each soul
may receive Your mercy and, having received it, may glorify it for endless
ages. O most sweet Jesus who, in Your incomprehensible kindness, have deigned to unite my wretched heart to Your most
merciful Heart, it is with Your own Heart that I glorify God, our Father, as
no soul has ever glorified Him before. |
|
837 |
December
21, [1936]. The radio is always playing in the afternoon, so I feel the loss
of silence. All morning long, there is ceaseless talk and noise. My God, I
was looking forward to being in silence, happy that I should be talking only
with the Lord, and here it is just the opposite. Yet, nothing disturbs me
now, neither the talking nor the radio. In a word-nothing. By the grace of
God, when I am praying I do not even know where I am; I know only that my
soul is united with the Lord. And thus I pass my days in this hospital. |
|
838 |
+
I marvel at how many humiliations and sufferings that priest accepts in this
whole matter. [153]
I see this at particular times, and I support him with my unworthy prayers.
Only God can give one such courage; otherwise one would give up. But I see
with joy that all these adversities contribute to God's greater glory. The
Lord has few such souls. O infinite eternity, you will make manifest the
efforts of heroic souls, because the earth rewards their efforts with hatred
and ingratitude. Such souls do not have friends; they are solitary. And in
this solitude, they gain strength; they draw their strength from God alone.
With humility, but also with courage, they stand firmly in the face of all
the storms that beat upon them. Like high-towering oaks, they are unmoved.
And in this there is just this one secret: that it's from God that they draw
this strength, and everything whatsoever they have need of, they have for
themselves and for others. They not only carry their own burden, but also
know how to take on, and are capable of taking on, the burdens of others.
They are pillars of light along God's ways; they live in light themselves and
shed light upon others. They themselves live on the heights, and know how to
show the way to lesser ones and help them attain those heights. |
|
839 |
+
My Jesus, You see that I do not know how to write well and, on top of that, I
don't even have a good pen. And often it scratches so badly that I must put
sentences together, letter by letter. And that is not all. I also have the
difficulty of keeping secret from the sisters the things I write down, and so
I often have to shut my notebook every few minutes and listen patiently to
someone's story, and then the time set aside for writing is gone. And when I
shut the notebook suddenly, the ink smears. I write with the permission of my
superiors and at the command of my confessor. It is a strange thing:
sometimes the writing goes quite well, but at other times, I can hardly read
it myself. |
|
840 |
December
23, [1936]. I am spending this time with the Mother of God and preparing myself
for the solemn moment of the coming of the Lord Jesus. The Mother of God is
instructing me in the interior life of the soul with Jesus, especially in
Holy Communion. It is only in eternity that we shall know the great mystery
effected in us by Holy Communion. O most precious moments of my life! |
|
841 |
O
my Creator, I long for You! You understand me, O Lord of mine! All that is on
earth seems to me like a pale shadow. It is You I long for and desire.
Although You do so inconceivably much for me, for You yourself visit me in a
special way, yet those visits do not soothe the wound of the heart, but make
me long all the more for You, O Lord. Oh, take me to Yourself, Lord, if such
is Your will! You know that I am dying, and I am dying of longing for You;
and yet, I cannot die. Death, where are you? You draw me into the abyss of
Your divinity, and You veil yourself with darkness. My whole being is
immersed in You, yet I desire to see You face to face. When will this come
about for me? |
|
842 |
Sister
Chrysostom [154] came to visit me today. She brought some lemons and
apples and a tiny Christmas tree. I was delighted with them. Through Sister Chrysostom,
Mother Superior asked the doctor [Adam Silberg] to
let me come home for Christmas, and he readily agreed. I was very happy and
burst into tears like a little child. Sister Chrysostom was surprised that I
looked so bad and had changed so much, and she told me, "You know,
Little Faustina, probably you will die. You must be suffering a great deal,
Sister." I answered that I was suffering more that day than on other
days, but that it was nothing and that, for the salvation of souls, it was
not too much. O merciful Jesus, give me the souls of sinners! |
|
843 |
December
24, [1936]. During Holy Mass today, I was united in a particular way with God
and His Immaculate Mother. The humility and love of the Immaculate Virgin penetrated
my soul. The more I imitate the Mother of God, the more deeply I get to know
God. Oh, what infinite longing envelops my soul! Jesus, how can You still
leave me in this exile? I am dying of longing for You. Every touch of my soul
by You wounds me immensely. Love and suffering go together; yet I would not
exchange this pain caused by You for any treasure, because it is the pain of
incomprehensible delights, and these wounds of the soul are inflicted by a
loving hand. |
|
844 |
Sister
C. [155] came in the afternoon and took me home for the
holydays. I was happy to be reunited with the community. As we were riding
through the city [Cracow], I imagined it was the town of Bethlehem. As I
watched all those people hurrying about, I thought: who is meditating today,
in recollection and silence, on this inconceivable mystery? O pure Virgin,
You are traveling today, and so am I. I feel that today's journey has its
symbolism. O radiant Virgin, pure as crystal, all immersed in God, I offer
You my spiritual life; arrange everything that it may be pleasing to Your
Son. O my Mother, how ardently I desire that You give me the Infant Jesus
during the Midnight Mass. And I felt such a living presence of God in the
depths of my soul, that it was only by sheer
will-power that I restrained my joy in order not to show outwardly what was
going on in my soul. |
|
845 |
Before
the vigil supper, I entered the chapel for a moment to break the wafer
spiritually with those dear to my heart. I presented them all, by name, to
Jesus and begged for graces on their behalf. But that wasn't all. I commended
to the Lord all those who are being persecuted, those who are suffering,
those who do not know His Name, and especially poor sinners. O little Jesus,
I fervently ask You, enclose them all in the ocean of Your incomprehensible
mercy. O sweet little Jesus, here is my heart; let it be a little cozy
dwelling place for Yourself. O Infinite Majesty, with what sweetness You drew
close to us. Here, there is no dread of the thunderbolts of the great
Jehovah; here, there is the sweet little Jesus. Here, no soul is afraid,
although Your majesty has not lessened, but only concealed itself. After
supper, I felt very tired and was in pain. I had to lie down. But I kept
vigil with the Most Holy Mother, awaiting the arrival of the little Child. |
|
846 |
December
25, [1936]. Midnight Mass. During Mass, God's presence pierced me through and
through. A moment before the Elevation I saw the Mother of God and the Infant
Jesus and the good Old Man [St. Joseph]. The Most Holy Mother spoke these
words to me: My daughter, Faustina, take this most precious Treasure, and
she gave me the Infant Jesus. When I took Jesus in my arms, my soul felt such
unspeakable joy that I am unable to describe it. But, strange thing, after a
short while Jesus became awful, horrible-looking, grown up and suffering; and
then the vision vanished, and soon it was time to go to Holy Communion. When
I received the Lord Jesus in Holy Communion, my soul trembled under the
influence of God's presence. The next day, I saw the Divine Infant for a
brief moment during the Elevation. |
|
847 |
On
the second day of the Feast, Father Andrasz came to celebrate Mass for us,
and during Mass I again saw the little Jesus. In the afternoon, I went to
confession. Father did not give an answer to some of my questions that
concerned this work. He said, "When you recover, we shall talk about it
in concrete terms; and now, try to recover completely. As for the rest, you
know what guidance to follow and what direction to take in these
matters." As penance, Father told me to say the chaplet that Jesus had taught
me. |
|
848 |
While
I was saying the chaplet, I heard a voice which said, Oh, what great graces I will grant to souls who say this
chaplet; the very depths of My tender mercy are stirred for the sake of those
who say the chaplet. Write down these words, My daughter. Speak to the world
about My mercy; let all mankind recognize My unfathomable mercy. It is a sign
for the end times; after it will come the day of justice. While there is
still time, let them have recourse to the fount of My mercy; let them profit
from the Blood and Water which gushed forth for them. |
|
849 |
December
27. Today, I returned to my place of solitude [her private room at the
sanatorium]. I had a pleasant trip as I travelled with a certain person[156]
who was taking her baby to be baptized. We gave her a lift as far as the
Church in Podgorze. [157]
In order to get out, she put the baby in my arms. When I took it, I offered
it, with an ardent prayer, to God so that some day
it might give Him special glory. I felt in my soul that the Lord was looking
in a special way on that little soul. When we arrived on Pradnik,
Sister N. [158] helped me to carry my bundle. When we entered my
room, we saw a beautiful paper angel with the inscription, "Gloria
in...... I think it is from the sick sister to whom I sent the Christmas
tree. [159] |
|
850 |
And
so, the holydays are over. Nothing can still the
yearning of my soul. I long for You, O my Creator and eternal God! Neither
celebrations nor beautiful hymns soothe my soul; rather, they make me yearn
all the more. At the very mention of Your Name, my spirit springs toward You,
O Lord. |
Diary
Divine Mercy in My Soul ( II: 851 900 )
|
|
Notebook 2 |
|
|
851 |
December
28, [1936]. Today I have started a novena to The Divine Mercy. That is, I
place myself in spirit before the image and recite the chaplet which the Lord
has taught me. On the second day of the novena, I saw the image, as it were,
come alive, adorned with numberless votive lamps, and I saw great crowds of
people coming there, and many of them were filled with happiness. O Jesus,
with what great joy did my heart beat! I am making the novena for the
intention of two people; namely, the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski]
and Father Sopocko. I am earnestly asking the Lord to inspire the Archbishop
to approve the chaplet, which is so pleasing to God, and also the image, and
that he may not put off or delay this work.... |
|
852 |
Today
the Lord's gaze shot through me suddenly, like lightning. At once, I came to
know the tiniest specks in my soul, and knowing the depths of my misery, I
fell to my knees and begged the Lord's pardon, and with great trust I
immersed myself in His infinite mercy. Such knowledge does not depress me nor
keep me away from the Lord, but rather it arouses in my soul greater love and
boundless trust. The repentance of my heart is linked to love. These
extraordinary flashes from the Lord educate my soul. O sweet rays of God, enlighten me to the most secret depth, for I want to
arrive at the greatest possible purity of heart and soul. |
|
853 |
In
the evening, a great longing took possession of my soul. I took the pamphlet
with the Image of the Merciful Jesus on it and pressed it to my heart, and
the following words burst forth from my soul: "Jesus, Eternal Love, I
live for You, I die for You, and I want to become united with You."
Suddenly I saw the Lord in His inexpressible beauty. He looked at me
graciously and said, My daughter, I too
came down from heaven out of love for you; I lived for you, I died for you,
and I created the heavens for you. And Jesus pressed me to His Heart and said to me, Very soon now; be at peace, My daughter.When I was alone, my soul was set afire with the desire
to suffer until the moment when the Lord would say, "Enough." And
even if I were to live for thousands of years, I see in the light of God that
that is but one moment. Souls ...[unfinished
thought]. |
|
854 |
December
29, [1936]. Today after Holy Communion, I heard a voice in my soul: My daughter, stand ready, for I will come unexpectedly. Jesus, You do not want to tell me the hour I am
looking forward to with such longing?
My daughter, it is for your own good. You will learn it, but not now; keep
watch. O Jesus, do with me as
You please. I know You are the merciful Savior and You will not change
towards me at the hour of my death. If at this time you are showing me so
much special love, and are condescending to unite Yourself
with me is such an intimate way and with such great kindness, I expect even
more at the hour of my death. You, my Lord-God, cannot change. You are always
the same. Heaven can change, as well as everything that is created; but You,
Lord, are ever the same and will endure forever. So come as You like and when
You like. Father of infinite mercy, I, Your child, wait longingly for Your
coming. O Jesus, You said in the Holy Gospel, "Out of your mouth do I
judge you." Well, Jesus, I am always speaking of Your inconceivable
mercy, so I trust that You will judge me according to Your unfathomable
mercy. |
|
855 |
December
30, 1936. The year is coming to an end. I took today as the day of the
monthly retreat. My spirit engrossed itself in the benefits that God has
lavished on me throughout this whole year. My soul trembled at the sight of
this immensity of God's graces. From my soul there burst forth a hymn of
thanksgiving to the Lord. For a whole hour, I remained steeped in adoration
and thanksgiving, contemplating, one by one, the benefits I had received from
God and also my own minor shortcomings. All that this year contained has gone
into the abyss of eternity. Nothing is lost. I am glad that nothing gets
lost. |
|
856 |
During
the morning meditation, I felt an aversion and a repugnance
for all created things. Everything pales before my eyes; my spirit is
detached from all things. I desire only God himself, and yet I must live.
This is a martyrdom beyond description. God imparts
himself to the soul in a loving way and draws it into the infinite depths of
His divinity, but at the same time He leaves it here on earth for the sole
purpose that it might suffer and die of longing for Him. And this strong love
is so pure that God himself finds pleasure in it; and self-love has no access
to its deeds, for here everything is totally saturated with bitterness, and
thus is totally pure. Life is a continuous dying, painful and terrible, and
at the same time it is the depth of true life and of inconceivable happiness
and the strength of the soul; and because of this, [the soul] is capable of
great deeds for the sake of God. |
|
857 |
+
In the evening, I prayed for a few hours, first for my parents and relatives,
for Mother General and for the whole Congregation, for our students, and for
three priests [probably Archbishop Jalbrzykowski,
Father Sopocko, and Father Andrasz] to whom I owe very much. I ran the length
and breadth of the whole world and thanked the unfathomable mercy of God for
all the graces granted to people, and I begged pardon for everything by which
they have offended Him. |
|
858 |
During
Vespers, I saw the Lord Jesus, who looked sweetly and profoundly into my
soul. My daughter, have
patience; it won't be long now. That
profound look and those words filled my soul with strength and power, courage
and extraordinary trust that I would carry out everything He was demanding of
me, despite such tremendous difficulties, and [filled me with] a special
conviction that the Lord is with me and that with Him I can do all things.
All the powers on earth and in hell are as nothing to me. Everything must
fall before the power of His Name. I entrust everything into Your hands, O my
Lord and God. Sole Commander of my soul, direct me
according to Your eternal desires. |
|
859 |
J.M.J.
Cracow, Pradnik, January 1, 1937. |
|
860 |
There
are times in life when the soul finds comfort only in profound prayer. Would
that souls knew how to persevere in prayer at such times. This is very
important. |
|
861 |
Particular examen: remains the same; namely, to unite myself with
the Merciful Christ (that is; what would Christ do in such and such a case?)
and, in spirit, to embrace the whole world, especially Russia and Spain. |
|
I. |
Strict observance of
silence - interior silence. |
|
II. |
To see the image of God in
every sister; all love of neighbor must flow from this motive. |
|
III. |
To do the will of God faithfully
at every moment of my life and to live by this. |
|
IV. |
To give a faithful account
of everything to the spiritual director and not to undertake anything of
importance without a clear understanding with him. I shall try to clearly lay
bare to him the most secret depths of my soul, bearing in mind that I am
dealing with God himself, and that His representative is just a human being,
and so I must pray daily that he be given light. |
|
V. |
During the evening examination
of conscience, I am to ask myself the question: What if He were to call me
today? |
|
VI. |
Not to look for God far
away, but within my own being to abide with Him alone. |
|
VII. |
In sufferings and torments,
to take refuge in the tabernacle and to be silent. |
|
VIII. |
To join all sufferings,
prayers, works and mortifications to the merits of Jesus in order to obtain
mercy for the world. |
|
IX. |
To use free moments,
however short, for prayers for the dying. |
|
X. |
There must not be a day in
my life when I do not recommend to the Lord the works of our Congregation.
Never have regard for what others think of you [for human respect]. |
|
XI. |
Have no familiar
relationships with anyone. Gentle firmness toward the girls, boundless
patience; punish them severely but with such punishments as these: prayer and
self-sacrifice. The strength that is in the emptying of myself
for their sake is for them a [source of] constant remorse and the softening
of their obdurate hearts. |
|
XII. |
The presence of God is the
basis of all my thoughts, words and deeds. |
|
XIII. |
To
take advantage of all spiritual help. To always put self-love in its proper
place; namely, the last. To perform my spiritual exercises as though I were
doing them for the last time in my life, and in like manner to carry out all
my duties. |
|
862 |
January
2, [1937]. The Name of Jesus. Oh, how great is Your Name, O Lord! It is the
strength of my soul. When my strength fails, and darkness invades my soul,
Your Name is the sun whose rays give light and also warmth, and under their
influence the soul becomes more beautiful and radiant, taking its splendor
from Your Name. When I hear the sweetest name of Jesus, my heartbeat grows
stronger, and there are times when, hearing the Name of Jesus, I fall into a
swoon. My spirit eagerly strains toward Him. |
|
863 |
This
is a particularly important day for me. On this day I made my first visit
connected with the painting of the Image. [160]
On this day the Divine Mercy received special external honor for the first
time, although it has been known for a long time, but here it was in the form
that the Lord had requested. This day of the sweet Name of Jesus reminds me
of many special graces. |
|
864 |
January
3. The Mother Superior of the Congregation that serves this hospital visited me
today, together with one of her sisters. [161]
For a long while, we talked about spiritual matters. I recognized in her a
great ascetic, and so our conversation was pleasing to God. |
|
865 |
Adoration.
First Sunday of the month. During adoration, I felt so strongly urged to act
that I burst into tears and said to the Lord, "Jesus, do not urge me,
but give this inspiration to those who You know are delaying the work."
And I heard these words: My
daughter, be at peace; it will not be long now. |
|
866 |
During
Vespers, I heard these words:
My daughter, I want to repose in your heart, because many souls have thrown
Me out of their hearts today. I have experienced sorrow unto death. I tried to comfort the Lord, by offering Him my love
a thousand times over. I felt, within my soul, a great disgust for sin. |
|
867 |
+
My heart is steeped in continual bitterness, because I want to go to You,
Lord, into the fullness of life. O Jesus, what a dreadful wilderness this
life seems to me! There is on this earth no nourishment for either my heart
or my soul. I suffer because of my longing for You, O Lord. You have left me
the Sacred Host, O Lord, but it enkindles in my soul an even greater longing
for You, O my Creator and Eternal God! Jesus, I yearn to become united with
You. Deign to hear the sighs of Your dearly beloved. Oh, how I suffer because
I am still unable to be united with You. But let it be done according to Your
wishes. |
|
868 |
January
5, 1937. This evening, I saw a certain priest [probably Father Sopocko] who
was in need of prayer for a certain matter. I prayed fervently because the
matter is very close to my heart as well. Thank You, Jesus, for this
kindness. |
|
869 |
O
Jesus, have mercy! Embrace the whole world and press me to Your Heart.... O
Lord, let my soul repose in the sea of Your unfathomable mercy. |
|
870 |
January
6, 1937. Today during Holy Mass, I was unwittingly absorbed in the infinite
majesty of God. The whole immensity of God's love flooded my soul. At that
particular moment, I became aware of how much God abases himself for my sake.
He, the Lord of Lords-and what am I, miserable being that I am, that You
would commune thus with me? The wonder that took hold of me after this
special grace continued very vividly throughout the entire day. Taking
advantage of the intimacy to which the Lord was admitting me, I interceded
before Him for the whole world. At such moments I have the feeling that the
whole world is depending on me. |
|
871 |
+
My Master, cause my heart never to expect help from anyone, but I will always
strive to bring assistance, consolation and all manner of relief to others.
My heart is always open to the sufferings of others; and I will not close my
heart to the sufferings of others, even though because of this I have been
scornfully nicknamed "dump"; that is, [because] everyone dumps his
pain into my heart. [To this] I answered that everyone has a place in my
heart and I, in return, have a place in the Heart of Jesus. Taunts regarding
the law of love will not narrow my heart. My soul is always sensitive on this
point, and Jesus alone is the motive for my love of neighbor. |
|
872 |
January
7. During the Holy Hour, the Lord allowed me to taste His Passion. I shared
in the bitterness of the suffering that filled His soul to overflowing. Jesus
gave me to understand how a soul should be faithful to prayer despite
torments, dryness and temptations; because oftentimes the realization of
God's great plans depends mainly on such prayer. If we do not persevere in
such prayer, we frustrate what the Lord wanted to do through us or within us.
Let every soul remember these words: "And being in anguish, He prayed
longer." I always prolong such prayer as much as is in my power and in
conformity with my duty. |
|
873 |
January
8. On Friday morning, as I was going to the chapel to attend Holy Mass, I
suddenly saw a huge juniper tree on the pavement and in it a horrible cat who, looking angrily at me, blocked my way to the chapel.
One whisper of the name of Jesus dissipated all that. I offered the whole day
for dying sinners. During Holy Mass, I felt the closeness of the Lord in a
special way. After Holy Communion, I turned my gaze with trust toward the
Lord and told him, "Jesus, I so much desire to tell You something."
And the Lord looked at me with love and said, And what is it that you desire to tell Me? |
|
874 |
Mary,
Immaculate Virgin, take me under Your special protection and guard the purity
of my soul, heart and body. You are the model and star of my life. |
|
875 |
Today,
I experienced a great suffering during the visit of our sisters. I learned of
something that hurt me terribly, but I controlled myself so that the sisters
didn't notice anything. For some time, the pain was tearing my heart apart,
but all that is for the sake of poor sinners.... O Jesus, for poor
sinners.... Jesus, my strength, stay close to me, help me.... |
|
876 |
January
10, 1937. I asked the Lord today to give me strength in the morning so that I
could go to receive Holy Communion. My Master, I ask You with all my
thirsting heart to give me, if this is according to Your holy will, any
suffering and weakness that You like-I want to suffer all day and all
night-but please, I fervently beg You, strengthen me for the one moment when
I am to receive Holy Communion. You see very well, Jesus, that here they do
not bring Holy Communion to the sick; so, if You do not strengthen me for
that moment so that I can go down to the chapel, how can I receive You in the
Mystery of Love? And You know how much my heart longs for You. O my sweet
Spouse, what's the good of all these reasonings?
You know how ardently I desire You, and if You so choose You can do this for
me. |
|
877 |
+
O Jesus concealed in the Host, my sweet Master and faithful Friend, how happy
my soul is to have such a Friend who always keeps me company. I do not feel
lonely even though I am in isolation. Jesus-Host, we know each other-that is
enough for me. |
|
878 |
January
12, 1937. Today, when the doctor [Adam Silberg]
making his rounds came to see me, he somehow didn't like the way I looked.
Naturally, I was suffering more, and so my temperature had gone up
considerably. Consequently, he decided I must not go down for Holy Communion
until my temperature dropped to normal. I said, "All right,"
although pain seized my heart; but I said I would go only if I had no fever.
So he agreed to that. When the doctor left, I said to the Lord, "Jesus,
now it is up to You whether I shall go or not," and I didn't think about
it anymore, although the thought kept coming to my mind: I am not to have Jesusno, that's impossible-and not just once but for
several days, until my temperature drops. But in the evening, I said to the
Lord, "Jesus, if my Communions are pleasing to You, I beg You humbly,
grant that I have not one degree of fever tomorrow morning." |
|
879 |
I
saw Father Andrasz as he was saying Holy Mass today. Before the Elevation, I
saw the Infant Jesus with His hands spread out, and He was very joyous; then,
after a moment, I saw nothing more. I was in my room and I continued making
my thanksgiving. But later on, I thought to myself, "Why was the Infant
Jesus so merry? After all, He is not always so merry when I see Him."
Then I heard these words interiorly: Because
I am very much at home in his heart. And I was not at all surprised at this, because I know he loves
Jesus very much. |
|
880 |
My
union with the dying is still as close as ever. Oh, how incomprehensible is
God's mercy that the Lord allows me, by my unworthy prayer, to come to the
aid of the dying. I try to be at the side of every dying person whenever I
can. Have confidence in God, for He is good and inconceivable. His mercy
surpasses our understanding. |
|
881 |
January
14, 1937. Today, Jesus entered my room wearing a bright robe and girded with
a golden belt, His whole figure resplendent with great majesty. He said, My daughter, why are you giving in to thoughts of fear? I answered, "O Lord, You know why." And
He said, Why? "This work frightens me. You know that I am
incapable of carrying it out." And He said, Why? "You see very well
that I am not in good health, that I have no education, that I have no money,
that I am an abyss of misery, that I fear contacts with people. Jesus, I
desire only You. You can release me from this." And the Lord said to me,
My daughter, what you have said is
true. You are very miserable, and it pleased Me to carry out this work of
mercy precisely through you who are nothing but misery itself. Do not fear; I
will not leave you alone. Do whatever you can in this matter; I will
accomplish everything that is lacking in you. You know what is within your
power to do; do that. The Lord
looked into the depth of my being with great kindness; I thought I would die
for joy under that gaze. The Lord disappeared, and joy, strength and power to
act remained in my soul. But I was surprised that the Lord did not want to
release me and that He is not changing anything He has once said. And despite
all these joys, there is always a shadow of sorrow. I see that love and
sorrow go hand in hand. |
|
882 |
I
rarely have such visions. But I more often commune with the Lord in a more
profound manner. My senses sleep and, although not in a visible way, all
things become more real and clearer to me than if I saw them with my eyes. My
intellect learns more in one moment than during long years of thinking and
meditation, both as regards the essence of God and as regards revealed
truths, and also as regards the knowledge of my own misery. |
|
883 |
Nothing
disturbs my union with the Lord, neither conversation with others nor any
duties; even if I am to go about settling very important matters, this does
not disturb me. My spirit is with God, and my interior being is filled with
God, so I do not look for Him outside myself. He, the Lord, penetrates my
soul just as a ray from the sun penetrates clear glass. When I was enclosed
in my mother's womb, I was not so closely united
with her as I am with my God. There, it was an unawareness;
but here, it is the fullness of reality and the consciousness of union. My
visions are purely interior, but the more I understand them, the less I am
able to express them in words. |
|
884 |
Oh,
how beautiful is the world of the spirit! And so real that, by comparison,
the exterior life is just a vain illusion and powerlessness. |
|
885 |
Jesus,
give me the strength and wisdom to get through this terrible wilderness, that
my heart may bear patiently this longing for You, O my Lord! I always remain
in holy amazement when I sense that You are approaching me, You, the Lord of
the awesome throne; that You descend to this miserable exile and visit this
poor beggar who has nothing but misery! I do not know how to entertain You,
my Royal Prince, but You know that I love You with every beat of my heart. I
see how You lower yourself, but nevertheless Your majesty does not diminish
in my eyes. I know that You love me with the love of a bridegroom, and that
is enough for me. Although we are separated by a great chasm, for You are the
Creator and I am Your creature, nevertheless, love alone explains our union.
Without it, all is incomprehensible. Only love makes it possible to understand
these incomprehensible intimacies with which You visit me. O Jesus, Your
greatness terrifies me, and I would be in constant astonishment and fear, if
You yourself did not set me at peace. You make me capable of communing with
You before each approach. |
|
886 |
January
15, 1937. Sorrow will not establish itself in a heart which loves the will of
God. My heart, longing for God, feels the whole misery of exile. I keep going
forward bravely-though my feet become wounded-to my homeland and, on the way, I nourish myself on the will of God. It is my food.
Help me, happy inhabitants of the heavenly homeland, so that your sister may
not falter on the way. Although the desert is fearful, I walk with lifted
head and eyes fixed on the sun; that is to say, on the merciful Heart of
Jesus. |
|
887 |
January
19, 1937. My life at present flows on in peaceful awareness of God. My silent
soul lives on Him, and this conscious life of God in my soul is for me a
source of happiness and strength. I do not look for happiness outside the
depths of my soul in which God dwells; of this I am aware. I feel a certain
need to share myself with others. I have discovered a fountain of happiness
in my soul, and it is God. O my God, I see that everything that surrounds me
is filled with God, and most of all my own soul, which is adorned with the
grace of God. Already now, I will begin to live on that on which I shall live
for all eternity. |
|
888 |
Silence
is so powerful a language that it reaches the throne of the living God. Silence
is His language, though secret, yet living and powerful. |
|
889 |
Jesus,
You have given me to know and understand in what a soul's greatness consists:
not in great deeds but in great love. Love has its worth, and it confers
greatness on all our deeds. Although our actions are small and ordinary in
themselves, because of love they become great and powerful before God. |
|
890 |
Love
is a mystery that transforms everything it touches into things beautiful and
pleasing to God. The love of God makes a soul free. She is like a queen; she
knows no slavish compulsion; she sets about everything with great freedom of
soul, because the love which dwells in her incites her to action. Everything
that surrounds her makes her know that only God himself is worthy of her
love. A soul in love with God and immersed in Him approaches her duties with
the same dispositions as she does Holy Communion and carries out the simplest
tasks with great care, under the loving gaze of God. She is not troubled if,
after some time, something turns out to be less successful. She remains calm,
because at the time of the action she had done what was in her power. When it
happens that the living presence of God, which she enjoys almost constantly,
leaves her, she then tries to continue living in lively faith. Her soul
understands that there are periods of rest and periods of battle. Through her
will, she is always with God. Her soul, like a knight, is well trained in
battle; from afar it sees where the foe is hiding and is ready for battle.
She knows she is not alone-God is her strength. |
|
891 |
January
21, [1937]. Since early morning today, I have been wondrously united with the
Lord. In the evening, the hospital chaplain visited me. After we had talked for
a while, I felt my spirit beginning to immerse itself in God, and I began to
lose all sense of what was happening around me. I ardently implored Jesus,
"Give me the ability to talk." And the Lord granted that I could
talk freely with him. But there was a moment when I could not understand what
the priest was saying. I heard his voice, but it was impossible for me to
understand him, and I apologized for not understanding him although I could
hear his voice. This is a moment of the grace of union with God, but
imperfect, because exteriorly the senses are acting imperfectly too. There is
no total immersion in God; that is, suspension of the senses, as often
happens when one neither sees nor hears anything exteriorly, the whole soul
being freely absorbed in God. When such a grace visits me, I want to be
alone, and I ask Jesus to protect me from the eyes of creatures. I was really
very embarrassed before the priest, but I was reassured, because he got to
know a little of my soul in confession. |
|
892 |
Today
the Lord gave me to know, in spirit, about the Convent of Divine Mercy. I saw
a great spirit in this convent, but everything was poor and very scanty. O my
Jesus, you are allowing me to live in spirit with these souls, but perhaps I
shall never set foot there; but may Your Name be blessed, and whatever You
have intended, may it be done. |
|
893 |
January
22, [1937]. Today is Friday. My soul is in a sea of suffering. Sinners have
taken everything away from me. But that is all right; I have given everything
away for their sake that they might know that You are good and infinitely
merciful. I shall be faithful to You, come rain or shine. |
|
894 |
Today
the doctor decided that I am not to go to Mass, but only to Holy Communion. I
wanted very much to assist at Mass, but my confessor, [162]
in agreement with the doctor, told me to obey. "It is God's will,
Sister, that you should get well, and you must not undertake mortifications
of any kind. Be obedient, Sister, and God will reward you for it." I
felt that the confessor's words were Jesus' words, and although it made me
sad to miss Holy Mass, during which God had been granting me the grace of seeing
the Infant Jesus; nevertheless, I placed obedience above everything else. |
|
895 |
January
23, [1937]. I did not feel like writing today. Then I heard a voice in my soul:My daughter, you do not live for yourself but for souls; write
for their benefit. You know that My will as to your writing has been
confirmed many times by your confessors. You know what is pleasing to Me, and
if you have any doubts about what I am saying, you also know whom you are to
ask. I grant him light to pronounce judgment on my case. My eye watches over
him. My daughter, you are to be like a child towards him, full of simplicity
and candor. Put his judgment above all My demands. He will guide you according
to My will. If he doesn't allow you to carry out My demands, be at peace; I
will not judge you, but the matter will remain between Me and him. You are to
be obedient. |
|
896 |
January
25, 1937. Today my soul is steeped in bitterness. O Jesus, O my Jesus, today everyone can add to my cup of bitterness. It makes
no difference whether they be friend or foe, they can all inflict suffering
on me. And You, O Jesus, are bound to give me strength and power in these
difficult moments. O Blessed Host, support me and seal my lips against all
murmuring and complaint. When I am silent, I know I shall be victorious. |
|
897 |
January
27, 1937. I feel considerable improvement in my health. Jesus is bringing me
from the gates of death to life, because there was so little left but for me
to die, and lo, the Lord grants me the fullness of life. Although I am still
to remain in the sanatorium, I am almost completely well. I see that the will
of God has not yet been fulfilled in me, and that is why I must live, for I
know that if I fulfill everything the Lord has planned for me in this world,
He will not leave me in exile any longer, for heaven is my home. But before
we go to our Homeland, we must fulfill the will of God on earth; that is,
trials and struggles must run their full course in us. |
|
898 |
O
my Jesus, You are giving me back my health and life; give me also strength
for battle, because I am unable to do anything without You. Give me strength,
for You can do all things. You see that I am a frail child, and what can I
do? I know the full power of Your mercy, and I trust that You will give me
everything Your feeble child needs. |
|
899 |
I
have desired death so much! I do not know whether I shall ever again in my
life experience such great longing for God. There have been times when I fell
into a swoon for Him. Oh, how ugly the earth when one knows heaven! I must do
violence to myself in order to live. O will of God,
you are my nourishment. |
|
900 |
Oh,
how drab and full of misunderstandings is this life! My patience is
exercised, and after it comes experience. I understand and learn many things
each day and see that I know very little, and I am constantly discovering
faults in my conduct. Still, I am not discouraged by this, but thank God that
He deigns to grant me His light that I may know myself. |
Diary
Divine Mercy in My Soul ( II: 901 950 )
|
|
Notebook 2 |
|
|
901 |
+
There is a certain person [Stanislava Kwietniewska [163]]
who tests my patience. I must devote much time to her. When I talk with her,
I feel that she is lying, and this, continually. And because she tells me
about things far away which I cannot verify, she is able to get away with the
lie. But I am inwardly convinced that there is no truth in what she says.
When it occurred to me once that I might be mistaken and that she might be
telling the truth, I asked the Lord Jesus to give me the following sign: if
she is really lying, let her admit to me herself that she has lied about any
one of the things ; concerning which I am inwardly
convinced that she is lying. And if she is telling the truth, let the Lord
Jesus take this conviction away from me. A little later, she came to me again
and said, "Sister, I beg your forgiveness, but I have lied about such
and such a thing," and I understood that the inner light concerning that
person had not misled me. |
|
902 |
January
29, 1937. I overslept today. A little longer, and I would have been too late
for Holy Communion because the chapel is a good distance from our section. [164]
When I went outdoors, the snow was knee-deep. But before it occurred to me
that the doctor would not have allowed ! me to go out in such snow, I had already come to the Lord
in the chapel. I received Holy Communion and was back in no time. I heard
these words in my soul:
My daughter, rest close to My Heart. Known to Me are your efforts. My soul is more joyful when I am close to the Heart
of my God. |
|
903 |
I
am coming to know God's greatness more and more and to rejoice in Him. I
remain unceasingly with Him in the depths of my heart. It is in my own soul
that I most easily find God. |
|
904 |
During
my meditation, I heard these words: My
daughter, you give Me most glory by patiently submitting to My will, and you win
for yourself greater merit than that which any fast or mortification could
ever gain for you. Know, My daughter, that if you submit your will to Mine,
you draw upon yourself My special delight. This sacrifice is pleasing to Me
and full of sweetness. I take great pleasure in it; there is power in it. |
|
905 |
+
Examination of conscience: continuation of the same, to unite myself to the
Merciful Christ. Practice: interior silence; that is, strict observance of
silence. |
|
906 |
+
In difficult moments, I will fix my gaze upon the silent Heart of Jesus,
stretched upon the Cross, and from the exploding flames of His merciful
Heart, will flow down upon me power and strength to keep fighting. |
|
907 |
An
extraordinary thing, [that] in winter a canary comes to my window and sings
beautifully for a while. I have tried to check whether there is a canary in a
cage somewhere around, but there is none anywhere, not even in the
neighboring ward. One of the other patients also heard it, but only once, and
wondered how a canary could be singing in this freezing season of the year. |
|
908 |
+
O Jesus, how sorry I feel for poor sinners. Jesus, grant them contrition and
repentance. Remember Your own sorrowful Passion. I know Your infinite mercy
and cannot bear it that a soul that has cost You so much should perish.
Jesus, give me the souls of sinners; let Your mercy rest upon them. Take
everything away from me, but give me souls. I want to become a sacrificial
host for sinners. Let the shell of my body conceal my offering, for Your Most
Sacred Heart is also hidden in a Host, and certainly You are a living
sacrifice. |
|
909 |
+
We know each other mutually, O Lord, in the dwelling of my heart. Yes, now it
is I who am receiving You as a Guest in the little home of my heart, but the
time is coming when You will call me to Your dwelling place, which You have
prepared for me from the beginning of the world. Oh, what am I compared to
You, O Lord? |
|
910 |
The
Lord is leading me into a world unknown to me. He makes known to me His great
grace, but I am afraid of it and will not submit to its influence in so far
as it may be in my power, until I am assured by my spiritual director as to
what this grace is. |
|
911 |
On
one occasion, God's presence pervaded my whole being, and my mind was mysteriously
enlightened in respect to His Essence. He allowed me to understand His
interior life. In spirit, I saw the Three Divine Persons, but Their Essence
was One. He is One, and One only, but in Three
Persons; none of Them is either greater or smaller; there is no difference in
either beauty or sanctity, for They are One. They are absolutely One. His
Love transported me into this knowledge and united me with Himself. When I
was united to One, I was equally united to the Second and to the Third in such
a way that when we are united with One, by that very fact, we are equally
united to the two Persons in the same way as with the One. Their will is One,
one God, though in Three Persons. When One of the Three Persons communicates
with a soul, by the power of that one will, it finds itself united with the
Three Persons and is inundated in the happiness flowing from the Most Holy
Trinity, the same happiness that nourishes the saints. This same happiness
that streams from the Most Holy Trinity makes all creation happy; from it
springs that life which vivifies and bestows all life which takes its
beginning from Him. In these moments, my soul experienced such great divine
delights that I find this difficult to express. |
|
912 |
Then
I heard the following words spoken thus: I want you to be My spouse. Fear pierced my soul, but I calmly continued to
reflect on what sort of an espousal this could be. However, each time fear
would invade my soul, a power from on high would give it peace. After all, I
have taken perpetual vows, and I have taken them of my own completely free
will. And so I continued to reflect on what this could mean. I sensed, and
came to realize, that this was some special kind of grace. Whenever I think
about it, I feel faint for God, but in this swooning, my mind is clear and
penetrated with light. When I am united to Him, I faint from an abundance of
happiness, but my mind is bright and clear and free from all shadows. You abase Your majesty to dwell with a poor creature. Thank
you, O Lord, for this great grace that makes it possible for me to commune
with You. Jesus, Your Name is my delight, I have a presentiment of my Beloved
from afar, and my languishing soul rests in His embrace; I don't know how to
live without Him. I would rather be with Him in afflictions and suffering
than without Him in the greatest heavenly delights. |
|
913 |
February
2, 1937. Today, from early morning, Divine absorption penetrates my soul.
During Mass, I thought I would see the little Jesus, as I often do; however,
today during Holy Mass I saw the Crucified Jesus. Jesus was nailed to the
cross and was in great agony. His suffering pierced me, soul and body, in a
manner which was invisible, but nevertheless most painful. |
|
914 |
Oh,
what awesome mysteries take place during Mass! A great mystery is
accomplished in the Holy Mass. With what great devotion should we listen to
and take part in this death of Jesus. One day we will know what God is doing
for us in each Mass, and what sort of gift He is preparing in it for us. Only
His divine love could permit that such a gift be provided for us. O Jesus, my
Jesus, with what great pain is my soul pierced when I see this fountain of
life gushing forth with such sweetness and power for each soul, while at the
same time I see souls withering away and drying up through their own fault. O
Jesus, grant that the power of mercy embrace these souls. |
|
915 |
+
O Mary, today a terrible sword has pierced Your holy soul. Except for God, no
one knows of Your suffering. Your soul does not break; it is brave, because
it is with Jesus. Sweet Mother, unite my soul to Jesus, because it is only
then that I will be able to endure all trials and tribulations, and only in
union with Jesus will my little sacrifices be pleasing to God. Sweetest
Mother, continue to teach me about the interior life. May the sword of
suffering never break me. O pure Virgin, pour
courage into my heart and guard it. |
|
916 |
This
day is so special for me; even though I encountered so many sufferings, my
soul is overflowing with great joy. In a private room next to mine, there was
a Jewish woman who was seriously ill. I went to see her three days ago and
was deeply pained at the thought that she would soon die without having her
soul cleansed by the grace of Baptism. I had an understanding with her nurse,
a [religious] Sister, that when her last moment would be approaching, she
would baptize her. There was this difficulty however, that there were always
some Jewish people with her. However, I felt inspired to pray before the
image which Jesus had instructed me to have painted. I have a leaflet with
the Image of the Divine Mercy on the cover. And I said to the Lord,
"Jesus, You yourself told me that You would grant many graces through this
image. I ask You, then, for the grace of Holy Baptism for this Jewish lady.
It makes no difference who will baptize her, as long as she is baptized. |
|
917 |
Oh,
how great is God's mercy; let every soul praise it. O my Jesus, that soul for
all eternity will be singing You a hymn of mercy. I shall not forget the
impression this day has made on my soul. This is the second great grace which
I have received here for souls before this image. |
|
918 |
February
5, 1937. My Jesus, in spite of everything, I desire very much to unite myself
to You. Jesus, if this be possible, take me to
Yourself, for it seems to me that my heart will burst of longing for You! |
|
919 |
+
Today, when I warned a certain young lady that she should not be standing for
hours in the corridor with the men, because it was unbecoming for a well-bred
young lady to do so, she apologized and promised to correct herself. She
began to cry when she became aware of her thoughtlessness. As I was saying
these few things to her concerning moral behavior, all the men from the ward
came over and listened to my words of advice. The Jewish people even heard a
few things about themselves. A certain person told me afterwards that they
put their ears against the wall and listened attentively. I somehow felt they
were listening, but I said what I had to say. The walls are so thin here that
one can be heard, even when speaking in a low voice. |
|
920 |
+There
is a woman here [165]
who was once one of our students. Naturally, she puts my patience to the test.
She comes to see me several times a day. After each of these visits I am
tired out, but I see that the Lord Jesus has sent that soul to me. Let
everything glorify You, O Lord. Patience gives glory to God. O how poor the
souls are! |
|
921 |
February
6, [1937]. Today, the Lord said to me,
My daughter, I am told that there is much simplicity in you, so why do you
not tell Me about everything that concerns you, even the smallest details?
Tell Me about everything, and know that this will give Me great joy. I answered, "But You know about everything,
Lord." And Jesus replied to me,
Yes, I do know; but you should not excuse yourself with the fact that I know,
but with childlike simplicity talk to Me about everything, for My ears and
heart are inclined towards you, and your words are dear to Me. |
|
922 |
+
When I began this big novena for three intentions, I saw a tiny insect on the
ground and thought: how did it get here in the middle of winter? Then I heard
the following words in my soul:
You see, I am thinking of it and sustaining it, and
what is it compared to you? Why was your soul fearful for a moment? I apologized to the Lord for that moment. Jesus
wants me to always be a child and to leave all care to Him, and to submit
blindly to His holy will. He took everything upon Himself. |
|
923 |
February
7, [1937]. Today, the Lord said to me,
I demand of you a perfect and whole-burnt offering; an offering of the will.
No other sacrifice can compare with this one. I myself am directing your life
and arranging things in such a way that you will be for Me a continual
sacrifice and will always do My will. And for the accomplishment of this
offering, you will unite yourself with Me on the Cross. I know what you can
do. I myself will give you many orders directly, but I will delay the
possibility of their being carried out and make it depend on others. But what
the superiors will not manage to do, I myself will accomplish directly in
your soul. And in the most hidden depths of your soul, a perfect holocaust
will be carried out, not just for a while, but know, My daughter, that this
offering will last until your death. But there is time, so that I the Lord
will fulfill all your wishes. I delight in you as in a living host; let
nothing terrify you; I am with you. |
|
924 |
Today,
I received a note from Mother Superior forbidding me to go to the bedside of
the dying. And so, I will send to the dying obedience in place of self, and
it will support the souls who are dying. Such is God's will, and that is
enough for me. That which I cannot understand now I will learn later. |
|
925 |
February
7, 1937. Today, I prayed more fervently than ever for the Holy Father [Pius
XI] and three priests [166]
that God would inspire them as to what He is asking of me, for the
realization of this depends on them. Oh, how happy I am that the Holy
Father's health is improving. Today I heard him addressing the Eucharistic
Congress, [167] and I went there in spirit to receive the Apostolic
Blessing. |
|
926 |
February
9,[1937]. Shrove Tuesday. During the last two days
of the carnival, I experienced the overwhelming flood of chastisements and
sins. In one instant the Lord gave me a knowledge of
the sins committed throughout the whole world during these days. I fainted
from fright, and even though I know the depth of God's mercy, I was surprised
that God allows humanity to exist. And the Lord gave me to know who it is
that upholds the existence of mankind: it is the chosen souls. When the
number of the chosen ones is complete, the world will cease to exist. |
|
927 |
On
these two days, I received Holy Communion as an act of reparation, and I said
to the Lord, "Jesus, I offer everything today for sinners. Let the blows
of Your justice fall on me, and the sea of Your mercy
engulf the poor sinners." And the Lord heard my prayer: many
souls returned to the Lord, but I was in agony under the yoke of God's
justice. I felt I was the object of the anger of the Most High God. By
evening my sufferings had reached such a stage of interior desolation that
moans welled up involuntarily from my breast. I locked the door of my room
and began an adoration; that is to say, a Holy Hour. Interior desolation and
an experience of God's justice-that was my prayer; and the moans and pain
that welled up from my soul took the place of a sweet conversation with the
Lord. |
|
928 |
Then
suddenly I saw the Lord, who clasped me to His Heart and said to me, My daughter, do not weep, for I cannot bear your tears. I will
grant you everything you ask for, but stop crying. And I was filled with great joy, and my spirit, as
usual, was drowned in Him as in its only treasure. Today, encouraged by His
kindness, I conversed with Jesus at greater length. |
|
929 |
When
I had rested near His sweetest Heart, I told Him, "Jesus, I have so much
to tell You." And the Lord said to me with great love, Speak, My daughter. And I started to enumerate the pains of my heart; that is, how
greatly concerned I am for all mankind, that "they all do not know You,
and those who do know You do not love You as You deserve to be loved. I also
see how terribly sinners offend You; and then again, I see how severely the
faithful, especially Your servants, are oppressed and persecuted. And then,
too, I see many souls rushing headlong into the terrible abyss of hell. You
see, Jesus, this is the pain that gnaws at my heart and bones. And, although
You show me special love and inundate my heart with streams of Your joys,
nevertheless, this does not appease the sufferings I have just mentioned, but
rather they penetrate my poor heart all the more acutely. Oh, how ardently I
desire that all mankind turn with trust to Your mercy. Then, seeing the glory
of Your name, my heart will be comforted." |
|
930 |
+
O my Jesus, although I will go to You, and You will fill me with Yourself,
and that will make my happiness complete, I will nevertheless not forget
about humanity. I desire to draw aside the veils of heaven, so that the earth
would have no doubts about The Divine Mercy. My repose is in proclaiming Your
mercy. The soul gives the greatest glory to its Creator when it turns with
trust to The Divine Mercy. |
|
931 |
February
10, [1937]. Today is Ash Wednesday. |
|
932 |
A
few days ago, I wrote to my director [probably Father Andrasz [168]],
asking permission for some little mortifications during Lent. As I did not
have the doctor's permission to go to town, I had to do this by letter. But
Ash Wednesday is already here, and I still have no answer. This morning after
Holy Communion, I asked Jesus to inspire my director with His light so that
he would answer me, and I knew in my soul that Father was not against my
practicing these mortifications for which I had asked permission, and that he
would give his permission. So, in peace, I began to undertake these
practices. That same afternoon I received a letter from Father, saying that
he readily gives me permission to undertake those practices for which I had
asked permission. I was very pleased that my interior knowledge was in
agreement with my spiritual Father's opinion. |
|
933 |
Then
I heard the following words in my soul: You will receive a greater reward for your obedience and
subjection to your confessor than you will for the practices which you will
be carrying out. Know this, My daughter, and act accordingly: anything, no
matter how small it be, that has the seal of obedience to My representative
is pleasing to Me and great in My eyes. |
|
934 |
Small
practices for Lent. Although I wish and desire to do so, I cannot practice
big mortifications as before, because I am under the strict surveillance of
the doctor. But I can practice little things: first-sleep without a pillow;
keep myself a little hungry; every day, with my arms outstretched, say the
chaplet which the Lord taught me; occasionally, with arms outstretched, for
an indefinite period of time pray informally. Intention: to beg divine mercy
for poor sinners, and for priests, the power to bring sinful hearts to
repentance. |
|
935 |
My
contact with the dying is, just as it has been in the past, very close. I
often accompany a person who is dying far away, but my greatest joy is when I
see the promise of mercy fulfilled in these souls. The Lord is faithful; what
He once ordains-He fulfills. |
|
936 |
+
A certain person in our ward was beginning to die. Amidst terrible tortures,
she was dying for three days, sometimes regaining consciousness. Everyone in
the ward was praying for her. I longed to go to her, but Mother Superior had
forbidden me to go to visit the dying, so I prayed for that poor soul in my
room. But when I heard that she was still in agony, and there was no saying
how long it was going to take, I suddenly felt inspired in my soul and said
to the Lord, "Jesus, if all I do is pleasing to You, I ask You, as
evidence, to let that soul stop suffering and pass on immediately to her
happy eternity." A few minutes later I learned that the person had
passed away so peacefully and quickly that they did not even have time to
light the candle. |
|
937 |
+
I will say a word more about my spiritual director [Father Andrasz or Father
Sopocko [169]]. It is strange that there are so few priests who
know how to pour power, strength and courage into a soul so that it can make
constant progress without getting tired. Under such direction a soul, even of
lesser strength, can do much for the glory of God. And here I discovered a
secret; namely, that the confessor, or rather the spiritual director, does
not make light of the trifles that the soul brings to him. And when the soul
notices that it is being controlled in this, it begins to exert itself and
does not omit the slightest opportunity to practice virtue and also avoids
the smallest faults. And from these efforts, as with little stones, there
rises within the soul a most beautiful temple. On the contrary, if the soul
notices that the confessor neglects these little things, it likewise neglects
them and ceases to give an account of them to the confessor and, worse still,
will begin to grow negligent in little things. Thus, instead of going
forward, it gradually retreats backward and becomes aware of the situation
only when it has already fallen into some serious trouble. Here, a serious
question poses itself: who is at fault, the soul in question or the
confessor; that is to say, the director? It seems to me that all the blame
should be put on the imprudent director; the soul's only fault is to have
taken upon itself the choice of a director. ! The director could well have
led the soul along the road of God's will to sanctity. |
|
938 |
The
soul should have prayed ardently and at greater length for a director and
should have asked the Lord himself to choose a spiritual director for it.
What begins in God will be godly, and what begins in a purely human manner
will remain human. God is so merciful that, in order to help a soul He
himself chooses the spiritual guide and will enlighten the soul concerning
the one before whom it should uncover the most hidden depths of its soul just
as it sees itself before the Lord Jesus himself. And when the soul considers
and recognizes that God has been arranging all this, it should pray fervently
for the confessor that he might have the divine light to know it well. And
let it not change such a director except for a serious reason. Just as it had
prayed fervently and at great length in order to learn God's will before
choosing a director, so too should it pray fervently and at great length to
discern whether it is truly God's will that he leave this director and choose
another. If God's will is not absolutely clear, he should not make this
change, for a person will not go far by himself, and Satan wants just this:
to have the person who is aspiring for sanctity direct himself because then,
without doubt, he will never attain it. |
|
939 |
There
is an exception [to this], and that is when God himself directs the person,
but the director will immediately recognize that the person in question is
being guided by God himself. God will allow him to know this clearly and
distinctly, and such a person should be even more under the director's
control than anyone else. In this case, the director does not so much guide
and point out the road along which the soul is to journey; but rather, he
judges and confirms that the soul is following the right path and is being
led by a good spirit. |
|
940 |
I
myself suffered a great deal and was much tried in this respect. Therefore, I
am writing only about what I myself have experienced. It was only after many
novenas, prayers and penances that God sent me a priest who understood my
soul. Oh, there would be many more saintly souls if there were more
experienced and saintly confessors. Many a soul, earnestly striving for
sanctity, cannot manage by itself during times of trial and abandons the road
to perfection. |
|
941 |
O
Jesus, give us fervent and holy priests! Oh, how great is the dignity of the
priest, but at the same time, how great is his responsibility! Much has been
given you, O priest, but much will also be demanded of you.... |
|
942 |
February
11, [1937]. Today is Friday. During Mass, I suffered pain in my body: in my hands,
my feet and my side. Jesus is sending me this kind of suffering that I may
make reparation for sinners. The pain is brief, but very severe. I do not
suffer for more than a couple of minutes, but the impression remains for a
long time and is very vivid. |
|
943 |
+
Today, I feel such desolation in my soul that I do not know how to explain it
even to myself. I would like to hide from people and cry endlessly. No one
understands a heart wounded by love, and when such a heart feels itself
abandoned interiorly, no one can comfort it. O souls of sinners, you have
taken the Lord away from me, but all right, all right; you get to know how
sweet the Lord is, and let the whole sea of bitterness flood my heart. I have
given all my divine comforts to you. |
|
944 |
+
There are moments when I mistrust myself, when I feel my own weakness and
wretchedness in the most profound depths of my own being, and I have noticed
that I can endure such moments only by trusting in the infinite mercy of God.
Patience, prayer and silence-these are what give strength to the soul. There
are moments when one should be silent, and when it would be inappropriate to
talk with creatures; these are the moments when one is dissatisfied with
oneself, and when the soul feels as weak as a little child. Then the soul
clings to God with all its might. At such times, I live solely by faith, and
when I feel strengthened by God's grace, then I am
more courageous in speaking and communicating with my neighbors. |
|
945 |
In
the evening, the Lord said to me,
My child, rest on My Heart; I see that you have worked hard in My vineyard. And my soul was flooded with divine joy. |
|
946 |
February
12, [1937]. Today, the presence of God is piercing me through and through,
like a ray from the sun. My soul is longing for God so intensely that I fall
into a swoon every now and then. I feel Eternal Love touching my heart, and
my littleness cannot bear it, and this causes me to swoon. Still, my interior
strength is great, and my soul wants to match the Love with which it is
loved. The soul at such moments has a very deep knowledge of God, and the
more it comes to know Him, the purer and more fervent does its love for Him
become. How unfathomable are the mysteries of the soul and God! |
|
947 |
Sometimes
there are whole hours when my soul is lost in wonder at seeing the infinite
majesty of God abasing Itself to the level of my soul. Unending is my
interior astonishment that the Most High Lord is pleased in me and tells me
so Himself. And I immerse myself even deeper in my nothingness, because I
know what I am of myself. Still I must say that I, in return, love my Creator
to folly with every beat of my heart and with every nerve; my soul
unconsciously drowns, drowns... in Him. I feel that nothing will separate me
from the Lord, neither heaven nor earth, neither the present nor the future.
Everything may change, but love never, never; it is always the same. He, the
Immortal Mighty One, makes His will known to me
that I may love Him very specially, and He himself makes my soul capable of
the kind of love with which He wants me to love Him. I bury myself more and
more in Him, and I fear nothing. |
|
948 |
February
13, [1937]. Today, during the Passion Service, [170]
I saw Jesus being tortured and crowned with thorns and holding a reed in His
hand. Jesus was silent as the soldiers were bustling about, vying with each
other in torturing Him. Jesus said nothing, but just looked at me, and in
that gaze I felt His pain, so terrible that we have not the faintest idea of
how much He suffered for us before He was crucified. My soul was filled with
pain and longing; in my soul, I felt great hatred for sin, and even the
smallest infidelity on my part seemed to me like a huge mountain for which I
must expiate by mortification and penance. When I see Jesus tormented, my
heart is torn to pieces, and I think: what will become of sinners if they do
not take advantage of the Passion of Jesus? In His Passion, I see a whole sea
of mercy. |
|
949 |
Let
the doubting soul read these considerations on Divine Mercy and become
trusting. [171] |
|
950 |
+
Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion
inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us, that in
difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great
confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy
itself. |
Diary
Divine Mercy in My Soul ( II: 951 1000 )
|
|
Notebook 2 |
|
|
951 |
+ O incomprehensible and limitless Mercy Divine, To extol
and adore You worthily, who can?
Supreme attribute of Almighty God, You are the sweet hope for sinful man. |
|
952 |
My
Jesus, You see that Your holy will is everything to me. It makes no
difference to me what You do with me. You command me to set to work-and I
begin calmly, although I know that I am incapable of it; through Your
representatives, You order me to waitso I wait
patiently; You fill my soul with enthusiasmbut You
do not make it possible for me to act; You attract me to yourself in
heaven-and You leave me in this world; You pour into my soul a great yearning
for yourself-and You hide yourself from me. I am dying of the desire to be
united with You forever, and You do not let death come near me. O will of God, you are the nourishment and delight of my
soul. When I submit to the holy will of my God, a deep peace floods my soul. |
|
953 |
+
February 15, 1937. Today my suffering increased somewhat: I not only feel
greater pain all through my lungs, but also some strange pains in my
intestines. I am suffering as much as my weak nature can bear, all for
immortal souls, to plead the mercy of God for poor sinners and to beg for
strength for priests. Oh, how much reverence I have for priests; and I am
asking Jesus, the High Priest, to grant them many graces. |
|
954 |
Today
after Holy Communion, the Lord told me, My daughter, My delight is to unite myself with you. It is when you submit
yourself to My will that you give Me the greatest glory and draw down upon
yourself a sea of blessings. I would not take such special delight in you if
you were not living by my will.
O my sweet Guest, I am prepared for all sacrifices for Your sake, but You
know that I am weakness itself. Nevertheless, with You I can do all things. O
my Jesus, I beseech You, be with me at each instant. |
|
955 |
February
15, 1937. Today, I heard these words in my soul: Host pleasing to My Father, know, My daughter, that the entire
Holy Trinity finds Its special delight in you, because you live exclusively
by the will of God. No sacrifice can compare with this. |
|
956 |
+
After these words, the knowledge of God's will came to me; that is to say, I
now see everything from a higher point of view and accept all events and
things, pleasant and unpleasant, with love, as tokens of the heavenly
Father's special affection. |
|
957 |
The
pure offering of my will will burn on the altar of
love. That my sacrifice may be perfect, I unite myself closely with the
sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. When great sufferings will cause my nature
to tremble, and my physical and spiritual strength will diminish, then will I
hide myself deep in the open wound of the Heart of Jesus, silent as a dove,
without complaint. Let all my desires, even the
holiest, noblest and most beautiful, take always the last place and Your holy
will, the very first. The least of Your desires, O Lord, is more precious to
me than heaven, with all its treasures. I know very well that people will not
understand me; that is why my sacrifice will be
purer in Your eyes. |
|
958 |
Some
days ago, a certain person came to me and asked me to pray for her intention,
as she had some urgent and important business. All of a sudden, I felt in my
soul that this matter was not pleasing to God, and I replied that I would not
pray for this intention, "but I will pray for you, in general" [I
added]. A few days later, this lady came back to me and thanked me for not
having prayed for her intention, but rather for her, because she had been
motivated by a spirit of revenge toward a certain person to whom she owed
respect and veneration in virtue of the fourth commandment. The Lord Jesus
had changed her interior [dispositions], and she herself acknowledged her
guilt; but was, however, surprised that I had penetrated her secret. |
|
959 |
+
Today I received a letter from Father Sopocko, who sent me greetings for my
feast day [February 15]. His greetings gave me joy, but his poor health made me
sad. I had known about this by interior intuition, but had not quite believed
it. But it seems to me that if he himself wrote that this was so, then the
other things about which he did not write are also true, and my interior
knowledge has not deceived me. He requested me to underline all that I know
does not come from me; that is to say, all that
Jesus tells me which I hear in my soul. [172]
He has already asked me to do this several times, but I did not have the time
and, to tell the truth, I was in no hurry to do so. But how does he know that
I have not done this? I was very surprised; but now I am setting about this
work with all my heart. O my Jesus, Your representative's will is clearly
Your holy will, without a shadow of a doubt. |
|
960 |
February
16, 1937. Today I entered a neighboring room by mistake and so, for a while,
I talked with the person who was there. When I returned to my own room, I
thought about that person for a few moments. Then suddenly, Jesus stood by my
side and said, My daughter, what
are you thinking about right now?
Without thinking, I snuggled close to His heart, because I realized that I
had been thinking too much about creatures. |
|
961 |
+
This morning after completing my spiritual exercises, I began at once to
crochet. I sensed a stillness in my heart; I sensed
that Jesus was resting in it. That deep and sweet consciousness of God's
presence prompted me to say to the Lord, "O Most Holy Trinity dwelling
in my heart, I beg You: grant the grace of conversion to as many souls as the
[number of] stitches that I will make today with this crochet hook."
Then I heard these words in my soul: My
daughter, too great are your demands. "Jesus, You know that for You it is easier to grant much rather
than a little." That is so, it is less difficult for Me to grant a soul much
rather than a little, but every conversion of a sinful soul demands
sacrifice. "Well, Jesus,
I offer You this whole-hearted work of mine; this offering does not seem to
me to be too small for such a large number of souls; You know, Jesus, that
for thirty years You were saving souls by just this kind of work. And since
holy obedience forbids me to perform great penances and mortifications,
therefore I ask You, Lord: accept these mere nothings stamped with the seal
of obedience as great things." Then I heard a voice in my soul: My dear daughter, I comply with your request. |
|
962 |
+
I often see a certain person dear to God. The Lord has great love for him,
not only because he is striving to spread the veneration of God's mercy, but
also because of the love he has for the Lord God, although he does not always
feel this love in his own heart and is almost always in Gethsemane. However,
this person is always pleasing to God, and his great patience will overcome
all difficulties. |
|
963 |
+
Oh, if only the suffering soul knew how it is loved by God, it would die of
joy and excess of happiness! Some day, we will know
the value of suffering, but then we will no longer be able to suffer. The
present moment is ours. |
|
964 |
February
17, 1937. This morning during Holy Mass, I saw the Suffering Jesus, His Passion was imprinted on my body in an
invisible manner, but no less painfully. |
|
965 |
Jesus
looked at me and said, Souls perish in spite of My bitter Passion. I am giving them
the last hope of salvation; that is, the Feast of My Mercy. If they will not
adore My mercy, they will perish for all eternity. Secretary of My mercy, write, tell souls about this great mercy of Mine, because
the awful day, the day of My justice, is near. |
|
966 |
+
Today, I heard in my soul these words: My
daughter, it is time for you to take action; I am with you. Great
persecutions and sufferings are in store for you, but be comforted by the
thought that many souls will be saved and sanctified by this work. |
|
967 |
+
When I set to work at underlining the Lord's words and thus was going through
everything in sequence, I reached the page where I had marked down Father Andrasz's advice and directions. I did not know what to
do, to underline or not to underline, and then I heard these words in my
soul: Underline, because
these words are Mine; I have borrowed the lips of the friend of My Heart in
order to speak to you and reassure you. You are to observe these directions
until your death. It would not please Me at all if you were to disobey these
directions. Know that it is I who have placed him
between Myself and your soul. I am doing this to set you at peace and so that
you may not err. |
|
968 |
Since I have placed you in this priest's special care, you are
thus exempted from giving a detailed account to your superiors concerning My
relationship with you. In all other matters, be as a child with your
superiors, but whatever I do in the depths of your soul is to be told, with
all frankness, only to the priests. |
|
969 |
+Today,
I went to meditate before the Blessed Sacrament [in the sanatorium chapel]. When
I approached the altar, God's presence pervaded my soul, I was plunged into
the ocean of His divinity, and Jesus said to me, My daughter, all that exists is yours. I answered the Lord, "My heart wants nothing
but You alone, O Treasure of my heart. For all the gifts You give me, thank
you, O Lord, but I desire only Your Heart. Though the heavens are immense,
they are nothing to me without You. You know very well, O Jesus,
that I am constantly swooning because of my longing for You." Know this, My daughter, that you are already
tasting now what other souls will obtain only in eternity. |
|
970 |
And
all of a sudden, my soul was flooded with the light of the knowledge of God.
Oh, would that I could express even a little of what my soul experiences when
resting near the Heart of the incomprehensible Majesty! I cannot put it into
words. Only a soul who has experienced such a grace
at least once in his life, will recognize it. When I returned to my room, it
seemed to me that I was coming from real life to death. When the doctor came
to take my pulse, he was surprised: "Sister, what happened? You have
never had a pulse like this! I would like to know what has speeded it up so
much." What could I tell him, when I myself did not know that my pulse
was so rapid. I only know that I am dying of yearning for God, but this I did
not tell him, for how can medicine help in this instance? |
|
971 |
February
19, 1937. Contact with the dying. They ask me for prayer, and I can pray, as
the Lord grants me an extraordinary spirit of prayer. I am constantly united
with Him, and I am fully aware that I live for souls in order to bring them
to Your mercy, 0 Lord. In this matter, no sacrifice is too insignificant. |
|
972 |
Today,
the doctor decided that I am to stay here until April. It is God's will, even
though I did want to be back in the company of my sisters. |
|
973 |
I
learned today about the death of one of our sisters [173]
who died in Plock, but she visited me even before they told me about her
death. |
|
974 |
February
22, 1937. Today, there began in our chapel a retreat
for the hospital attendants, although anyone who wishes may take part in it.
There is one conference a day. Father Bonaventure [174]
speaks for a whole hour, and he speaks directly to souls. I took part in this
retreat, as I very much desire to know God more deeply and to love Him more
ardently, for I have understood that the greater the knowledge, the stronger
the love. |
|
975 |
Today
I heard these words: Pray for souls that
they be not afraid to approach the tribunal of My mercy. Do not grow weary of
praying for sinners. You know what a burden their souls are to My Heart.
Relieve My deathly sorrow; dispense My mercy. |
|
976 |
February
24, 1937. Today during Holy Mass, I saw the dying Jesus. The sufferings of the
Lord pierced my soul and body in an invisible manner. The pain is enormous,
though it lasts a very short time. |
|
977 |
During
the singing of the Lenten Lamentations, I am so taken up with His Passion
that I cannot withhold my tears. I would like to hide somewhere in order to
give myself freely to the sorrow which flows from the consideration of His
Passion. |
|
978 |
When
I was praying for the intention of Father Andrasz, I learned how very pleasing
he is to God. Since then, I have had even greater respect for him, as for a
saint. This has given me great joy, and I thank God fervently for it. |
|
979 |
Today
at Benediction, I saw Jesus, and He spoke these words to me: Be obedient to your director in everything; his word is My
will. Be certain in the depths of your soul that it is I who am speaking
through his lips, and I desire that you reveal the state of your soul to him
with the same simplicity and candor as you have with Me. I say it again, My
daughter: know that his word is My will for you. |
|
980 |
Today,
I saw the Lord in great beauty, and He said to me, My loving host, pray for priests, especially during this time
of harvest. My Heart is pleased with you, and for your sake I am blessing the
earth. |
|
981 |
I
understood that these two years of interior suffering which I have undergone
in submission to God's will in order to know it better have advanced me
further in perfection than the previous ten years. For two years now, I have
been on the cross between heaven and earth. That is to say, I am bound by the
vow of obedience and must obey the superior as God himself. And on the other
hand, God makes His will known to me directly, and
so my inner torture is so great that no one will either understand or imagine
these spiritual sufferings. It seems to me that it would be easier to give up
my life than to go again and again through one hour of such pain. I am not
even going to write much about this matter, because one cannot describe what
it is like to know God's will directly and at the same time to be perfectly
obedient to the divine will as expressed indirectly through the superiors.
Thanks be to God that He has given me a director;
otherwise, I would not have advanced one single step. |
|
982 |
+
I recently received a lovely letter from my dear seventeen-year-old sister
[Wanda [175]]. She is begging and entreating me to help her enter
the convent. She is ready for any sacrifices for God. I can tell from her
letter that the Lord himself is guiding her, and I rejoice in God's great
mercy. |
|
983 |
+
Today, the Majesty of God enveloped and transpierced my soul to its very
depths. The greatness of God is pervading my being and flooding me so that I
am completely drowning in His greatness. I am dissolving and disappearing
entirely in Him as in my life-source, as in perfect life. |
|
984 |
My
Jesus, I understand well that my perfection consists not in the fact that You
command me to carry out these great works of Yours-Oh no!-the soul's
greatness does not consist in this, but in great love for You. O Jesus, in
the depths of my soul I understand that the greatest achievements cannot compare
with one act of pure love for You. I desire to be faithful to You and to do
Your bidding. I am making use of my strength and my reason to carry out all
You are asking of me, O Lord, but I have not the least shadow of attachment
to all this. I do it all because such is Your will. All my love is drowned,
not in Your works, but in You yourself, O my Creator and Lord! |
|
985 |
February
25, 1937. I prayed earnestly for a happy death on behalf of a certain soul
who was suffering much. For two weeks, she had remained between life and
death. I was touched with pity for her and said to the Lord, "Sweet
Jesus, if the works I am undertaking for Your glory are pleasing to You, then
please take her to Yourself and let her rest in Your mercy." I was strangely
reassured; and, after a short while, they came to tell me that the person who
had been suffering so much had just died. |
|
986 |
I
saw a certain priest [probably Father Sopocko] in need and prayed for him
until Jesus looked upon him with kindness and granted him His strength. |
|
987 |
Today,
I came to know that a member of my family is offending God and is in great
peril of death. This knowledge pierced my soul with such great pain that I
thought I would not survive that offense against God. I begged God's pardon,
but I saw His great anger. |
|
988 |
I
was praying for a certain priest [probably Father Sopocko], asking God to
help him in certain matters when I suddenly saw Jesus Crucified. His eyes
were closed, and He was immersed in torture. I worshiped His five wounds,
each one separately, and asked His blessing for him. Jesus gave me to know
interiorly how dear that soul was to Him, and I felt that grace was flowing
from Jesus' wounds upon that soul who, like Jesus, is also stretched upon the
cross. |
|
989 |
My
Lord and my God, You know that it is You alone whom my soul has come to love.
My soul is entirely drowned in You, O Lord. Even if I did not accomplish any
of the things that You have made known to me, O Lord, I would be completely
at peace because I would have done what I could. |
|
990 |
I
know well, O Lord, that You have no need of our works; You demand love. Love,
love and once again, love of God-there is nothing greater in heaven or on
earth. The greatest greatness is to love God; true greatness is in loving
God; real wisdom is to love God. All that is great and beautiful is in God;
there is no beauty or greatness outside of Him. O you sages of the world and
you great minds, recognize that true greatness is in loving God! Oh, how
astonished I am that some people deceive themselves, saying: There is no
eternity! |
|
991 |
February
26, 1937. Today, I saw how the Holy Mysteries were being celebrated without
liturgical vestments and in private homes, because of a passing storm; and I
saw the sun come out from the Blessed Sacrament, and all other lights went
out, or rather, they were dimmed; and all the people were looking toward this
[one] light. But at the present time I do not understand the meaning of this
vision. [176] |
|
992 |
+
I am going forward through life amidst rainbows and storms, but with my head
held high with pride, for I am a royal child. I feel that the blood of Jesus
is circulating in my veins, and I have put my trust in the great mercy of the
Lord. |
|
993 |
+
I asked the Lord to have a certain person come to visit me today so that I
could see her one more time, and that would be a sign for me that she was
being called to the convent which Jesus is having me establish. And, O wonder, the person in question came, and I tried to
form her a bit, spiritually. I began to show her the way of self-denial and
sacrifice, which she readily accepted. However, I have placed this whole
matter in the hands of the Lord, that He may direct everything according to
His good pleasure. |
|
994 |
Today,
when I heard the hymn, "Good night, Holy Head of My Jesus," on the
radio, my spirit was suddenly drowned in God, and divine love flooded my
soul; I dwelt for a moment with the heavenly Father. |
|
995 |
+
Although it is not easy to live in constant agony, |
|
996 |
February
28, 1937. Today, I was undergoing the Passion of Jesus for a longer time, and
thus I saw that many souls were in need of prayer. I feel that I am being completely
transformed into prayer in order to beg God's mercy for every soul. O my
Jesus, I am receiving You into my heart as a pledge of mercy for souls. |
|
997 |
This
evening, when I heard the hymn, "Good night, Holy Head of my
Jesus," on the radio, my spirit was suddenly swept away to God's
mysterious bosom, and I knew in what the greatness of a soul consists and
what matters to God: love, love, and once again, love. And 1 understood how
all that exists is saturated with God, and such a love of God inundated my
soul that I am at a loss to describe it. Happy the soul that knows how to
love unreservedly, for in this lies its greatness. |
|
998 |
Today,
I took part in a one-day retreat. When I was at the last conference, [177]
the priest was speaking of how much the world needs God's mercy, and that
this seems to be a special time when people have great need of prayer and
God's mercy. Then I heard a voice in my soul: These words are for you. Do all you possibly can for this work
of My mercy. I desire that My mercy be worshiped,
and I am giving mankind the last hope of salvation; that is, recourse to My
mercy. My Heart rejoices in this feast. After these words, I understood that nothing can
dispense me from the obligation which the Lord demands from me. |
|
999 |
Last
night I was in such pain that I thought it was the end. The doctors could not
diagnose what the sickness was. I felt as if my entrails had been torn to
shreds, but after a few hours of such sufferings I am all right. All this is
for sinners. Let Your mercy descend upon them, O Lord. |
|
1000 |
In
the terrible desert of life, |
Notebook I 1-50 51-100 101-150 151-200 201-250 251-300 301-350 351-400 401-450 451-500 501-521
Notebook II 522-600 601-650 651-700 701-750 751-800 801-850 851-900 901-950 951-1000
Notebook III 1001-1050 1051-1100 1101-1150 1151-1200 1201-1230
Notebook V
1322-1400 1401-1450 1451-1500 1501-1550 1551-1589
Notebook VI 1590-1650 1651-1700 1701-1750 1751-1803
Preparation for Holy Communion 1804-1828
Diary, St. Maria
Faustina Kowalska, Divine Mercy In My Soul
(c) Congregation of Marians of the Immaculate
Conception, Stockbridge, MA 01263.
To
purchase the dairy, visit the Marians of the
Immaculate Conception website
>>DIVINE MERCY APOSTOLATE .... Diary .... A. Diary .... BM. Diary (part)
>FFC >Youth >MASS >BIBLE >Catechism >Sacrament
>Saints >St Peters Church
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