>>DIVINE
MERCY
APOSTOLATE .... Diary
Divine
Mercy in my Soul PDF File
Notebook I 1-50 51-100 101-150 151-200 201-250 251-300 301-350 351-400 401-450 451-500 501-521
Notebook II 522-600 601-650 651-700 701-750 751-800 801-850 851-900 901-950 951-1000
Notebook III 1001-1050 1051-1100 1101-1150 1151-1200 1201-1230
Notebook V
1322-1400 1401-1450 1451-1500 1501-1550 1551-1589
Notebook VI 1590-1650 1651-1700 1701-1750 1751-1803
Preparation for Holy Communion 1804-1828
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Diary Divine Mercy in My Soul ( I: 451 500 ) |
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Notebook 1 |
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451 |
Once after Holy Communion, I heard these words: You
are Our dwelling place. At that moment, I felt in my soul the presence of
the Holy Trinity, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. I felt that I was
the temple of God. I felt I was a child of the Father. I cannot explain all
this, but the spirit understands it well. O infinite Goodness, how low You stoop
to Your miserable creature! |
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452 |
If only souls would become recollected, God would
speak to them at once, for dissipation drowns out the word of the Lord. |
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453 |
On one occasion, the Lord said to me, Why are
you fearful and why do you tremble when you are united to Me? I am displeased
when a soul yields to vain terror. Who will dare to touch you when you are
with Me? Most dear to Me is the soul that strongly believes in My goodness
and has complete trust in Me. I heap My confidence upon it and give it all it
asks. |
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454 |
Once, the Lord said to me, My daughter, take
the graces that others spurn; take as many as you can carry. At that
moment, my soul was inundated with the love of God. I feel that I am united
with the Lord so closely that I cannot find words to express that union; in
this state I suddenly feel that all the things God has, all the goods and
treasures, are mine, although I set little store by them, for He alone is
enough for me. In Him I see my everything; without
Him-nothing. |
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455 |
When some suffering afflicts me, it no longer
causes me any bitterness, nor do great consolations carry me away, I am
filled with the peace and equanimity that flow from the knowledge of the
truth. |
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456 |
On the evening of the introductory day of the
retreat, as I listened to the points for the meditation, I heard these words:
During this retreat I will speak to you through the mouth of this priest
to strengthen you and assure you of the truth of the words which I address to
you in the depths of your soul. Although this is a retreat for all the
sisters, I have you especially in mind, as I want to strengthen you and make
you fearless in the midst of all the adversities which lie ahead. Therefore,
listen intently to his words and meditate upon them in the depths of your
soul. |
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457 |
Oh, how astonished I was, for everything the
Father said about union with God and the obstacles to this union I had
experienced literally in my soul and heard from Jesus, who speaks to me in
the depths of my soul. Perfection consists in this close union with God. |
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458 |
During the ten-o'clock meditation, Father [Rzyczkowski [98]
] spoke about divine mercy and about God's goodness to us. He said that as we
review the history of mankind, we can see this great goodness of God at every
step. All the attributes of God, such as omnipotence and wisdom, serve to
reveal to us the greatest of His attributes; namely, His goodness. God's
goodness is the greatest of God's attributes. Many souls striving for
perfection, however, are not aware of this great goodness of God. Everything
that Father said in the course of the meditation about the goodness of God, was exactly what Jesus had said to me concerning (the
Feast of Mercy. I have now come to understand clearly what the Lord has
promised me, and I have no doubt about anything; God's language is clear and
distinct. |
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459 |
Throughout that entire meditation I saw the Lord
Jesus on the altar, in a white garment, His hand holding the notebook in
which I write these things. Throughout the entire meditation Jesus kept
turning the pages of the notebook and remained silent; however, my heart
could not bear the fire that was enkindled in my soul. Despite the great
effort of my will to take control of myself and not let others see what was
going on in my soul, toward the end of the meditation I felt that I was
completely beyond my own control. Then Jesus said to me, You have not
written everything in the notebook about My goodness towards humankind; I
desire that you omit nothing; I desire that your heart be firmly grounded in
total peace. |
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460 |
O Jesus, my heart stops beating when I think of
all You are doing for me! I am amazed at You, Lord, that
Yon would stoop so low to my wretched soul! What inconceivable means You take
to convince me! |
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461 |
This is the first time in my life that I have made
such a retreat. I understand in a special and clear way every single word
that Father speaks, for I have first experienced it all in my soul. I now see
that Jesus will not leave in doubt any soul that loves Him sincerely. Jesus
wants the soul that is in close communion with Him to be filled with peace,
despite sufferings and adversities. |
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462 |
Now I understand well that what unites our soul
most closely to God is self-denial; that is, joining our will to the will of
God. This is what makes the soul truly free, contributes to profound
recollection of the spirit, and makes all life's burdens light,
and death sweet. |
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463 |
Jesus told me that if I should have any doubts
regarding the feast or the founding of the Congregation,-
or regarding anything else about which I have spoken in the depths of your
soul, I will reply immediately through the mouth of this priest. |
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464 |
During a meditation on humility, an old doubt
returned: that a soul as miserable as mine could not carry out the task which
the Lord was demanding [of me]. Just as I was analyzing this doubt, the
priest who was conducting the retreat interrupted his train of thought and
spoke about the very thing I was having doubts about; namely, that God
usually chooses the weakest and simplest souls as tools for His greatest
works; that we can see that this is an undeniable truth when we look at the
men He chose to be His apostles; or again, when we look at the history of the
Church and see what great works were done by souls that were the least
capable of accomplishing them; for it is just in this way that God's works
are revealed for what they are, the works of God. When my doubt had
completely disappeared, the priest resumed his conference on humility. |
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465 |
Jesus, my Life, how well I feel that You are
transforming me into Yourself, in the secrecy of my soul where the senses can
no longer perceive much. O my Savior, conceal me completely in the depths of
Your Heart and shield me with Your rays against everything that is not You. I
beg You, Jesus, let the two rays that have issued from Your most merciful
Heart continuously nourish my soul. |
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466 |
Time of Confession. |
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467 |
Throughout the whole retreat, I was in
uninterrupted communion with Jesus and entered into an intimate relationship
with Him with all the might of my heart. |
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468 |
The day of the renewal of vows. At the beginning
of Holy Mass, I saw Jesus in the usual way. He blessed us and then entered
the tabernacle. Then I saw the Mother of God in a white garment and blue
mantle, with Her head uncovered. She approached me from the altar, touched me
with Her hands and covered me with Her mantle, saying, Offer these vows
for Poland. Pray for her. This was on August fifteen. |
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469 |
On the evening of that same day, I felt in my soul
a great yearning for God. I do not see Him at this moment with my bodily eyes
as I have on other occasions, but I sense His presence and yet do not grasp
Him [with my mind J. This causes me great yearning and torment beyond words.
I am dying from the desire to possess Him, to be drowned in Him forever. My
spirit pursues Him with all its might; there is nothing in the world that
could comfort me. O Love Eternal, now I understand in what close intimacy my
heart was with You! For what else can satisfy me in heaven or on earth except
You, O my God, in Whom my soul is drowned. |
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470 |
One evening, as I looked up from my cell to the
sky and saw the beautiful star-strewn firmament and the moon, an
inconceivable fire of love for my Creator welled up within my soul and,
unable to bear the yearning for Him that arose within my soul, I fell on my
face, humbling myself in the dust. I glorified Him for all His works and,
when my heart could no longer bear what was going on within it, I wept aloud.
Then my Guardian Angel touched me and spoke to me these words: "The Lord
orders me to tell you to rise from the ground." I did so immediately,
but felt no consolation in my soul. The yearning for God grew even stronger
in me. |
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471 |
One day, when I was at adoration, and my spirit
seemed to be dying for Him, and I could no longer hold back my tears, I saw a
spirit of great beauty who spoke these words to me: "Don't cry-says the
Lord." After a moment I asked, "Who are you?" He answered me,
"I am one of the seven spirits who stand before the throne of God day
and night and give Him ceaseless praise." Yet this spirit did not soothe
my yearning, but roused me to even greater longing for God. This spirit is
very beautiful, and his beauty comes from close union with God. This spirit
does not leave me for a single moment, but accompanies me everywhere. |
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472 |
I knew, more distinctly than ever before, the
Three Divine Persons, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. But their
being, their equality and their majesty are one. My soul is in communion with
these Three; but I do not know how to express this in words; yet my soul
understands it well. Whoever is united to One of the Three Persons is thereby
united to the whole Blessed Trinity, for this Oneness is indivisible. This
vision, or rather, this knowledge filled my soul with unimaginable happiness,
because God is so great. What I am describing I did not see with my eyes, as
on previous occasions, but in a purely interior manner, in a purely spiritual
way, independent of the senses. This continued until the end of Holy Mass. |
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473 |
When our confessor [Father Sopocko] was away, I
confessed to the Archbishop [Romuald Jalbrzykowski [99]
]. When I revealed my soul to him, I received this reply: "My daughter,
arm yourself with great patience; if these things
come from God, they will be realized sooner or later. So be completely at
peace. I understand you very well in this matter, my daughter. And now, as
regards your leaving the Congregation and thinking
of another one, do not entertain such thoughts, for this would be a serious
interior temptation." After this confession, I said to the Lord Jesus,
"Why do Yon command me to do such things and yet do not make it possible
to accomplish them?" Then I saw the Lord Jesus after Holy Communion in
the same little chapel where I had gone to confession, in the same way in
which He is represented in the image. The Lord said to me, Do not be sad.
I will give him to understand the things I am asking of you. When we were
leaving, the Archbishop was very busy, but he told us to return and wait a
bit. When we entered the chapel again, I heard these words in my soul: Tell
him what you have seen in this chapel. At that very moment the Archbishop
came in and asked if we did not have something to tell him. But although I
had been commanded to tell him, I could not do so because I was in the
company of one of the sisters. |
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474 |
In the evening, when I was in my cell, I saw an
Angel, the executor of divine wrath. He was clothed in a dazzling robe, his
face gloriously bright, a cloud beneath his feet.
From the cloud, bolts of thunder and flashes of lightning were springing into
his hands; and from his hand they were going forth, and only then were they
striking the earth. When I saw this sign of divine wrath which was about to
strike the earth, and in particular a certain place, which for good reasons I
cannot name, I began to implore the Angel to hold off for a few moments, and
the world would do penance. But my plea was a mere nothing in the face of the
divine anger. Just then I saw the Most Holy Trinity. The greatness of Its
majesty pierced me deeply, and I did not dare to repeat my entreaties. At
that very moment I felt in my soul the power of Jesus' grace, which dwells in
my soul. When I became conscious of this grace, I was instantly snatched up
before the Throne of God. Oh, how great is our Lord and God and how
incomprehensible His holiness! I will make no attempt to describe this
greatness, because before long we shall all see Him as He is. I found myself
pleading with God for the world with words heard interiorly. |
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475 |
The words with which I entreated God are these: Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and
Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ
for our sins and those of the whole world; for the sake of His sorrowful
Passion, have mercy on us. |
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476 |
The next morning, when I entered chapel, I heard
these words interiorly: Every time you enter the chapel, immediately
recite the prayer which I taught you yesterday. When I had said the
prayer, in my soul I heard these words: This prayer will serve to appease
My wrath. You will recite it for nine days, on the beads of the rosary, in
the following manner: First of all, you will say one OUR FATHER and HAIL MARY
and the I BELIEVE IN GOD. Then on the OUR FATHER beads you will say the
following words: "Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul
and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement
for our sins and those of the whole world." On the HAIL MARY beads you
will say the following words: "For the sake of His sorrowful Passion have mercy on us and on the whole world." In
conclusion, three times you will recite these words: "Holy God, Holy
Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world."
[100] |
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477 |
Silence is a sword in the spiritual struggle. A
talkative soul will never attain sanctity. The sword of silence will cut off
everything that would like to cling to the soul. We are sensitive to words
and quickly want to answer back, without taking any regard as to whether it
is God's will that we should speak. A silent soul 14 strong; no adversities
will harm it if it perseveres in silence. The silent soul is capable of
attaining the closest union with God. It lives almost always under the inspiration
of the Holy Spirit. God works in a silent soul without hindrance. |
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478 |
O my Jesus, You know, You alone know well that m heart knows no other love but You! All my virginal love
is drowned eternally in You, O Jesus! I sense keenly ho Your divine Blood is
circulating in my heart; I have no the least doubt that Your most pure love
has entered m heart with Your most sacred Blood. I
am aware did You are dwelling in me, together with the Father and the Holy
Spirit, or ratherIam aware that it is I who it
living in You, O incomprehensible God! I am aware that I am dissolving in You
like a drop in an ocean. I am aware that You are within me and all about me,
that You are in all things that surround me, in all that happens to me. O my God,
I have come to know You within my heart, and I have loved You above all
things that exist on earth or in heaven. Our hearts have a mutual
understanding, and no one of humankind will comprehend this. |
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479 |
My second confession to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski]. "Know, my daughter, that if this is
the will of God, it will take place sooner or later, for God's will must be
done. Love God in your heart, have..." ( unfinished
thought]. |
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480 |
September 29. The Feast of Saint Michael the
Archangel. I have become interiorly united with God. His presence penetrates
me to my very depths and fills me with peace, joy and amazement. After such
moments of prayer, I am filled with strength and an extraordinary courage to
stiffer and struggle. Nothing terrifies me, even if the whole world should
turn against me. All adversities touch only the surface, but they have no
entry to the depths, because God, who strengthens me, who fills me, dwells
there. All the snares of the enemy are crushed at His footstool. During these
moments of union, God sustains me with His might. His might passes on to me
and makes me capable of loving Him. A soul never reaches this state by its
own efforts. At the beginning of this interior grace, I was filled with
fright, and I started to give in to it; but very quickly, the Lord let me
know how much this displeases Him. But it is also He, Himself, who set my
fears at rest. |
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481 |
Almost every feast of the Church gives me a deeper
knowledge of God and a special grace. That is why I prepare myself for each
feast and unite myself closely with the spirit of the Church. What a joy it
is to be a faithful child of the Church! Oh, how much I love Holy Church and
all those who live in it! I look upon them as living members of Christ, who
is their Head. I burn with love with those who love; I suffer with those who
suffer, I am consumed with sorrow at the sight of those who are cold and
ungrateful; and I then try to have such a love for God that it will make
amends for those who do not love Him, those who feed their Savior with
ingratitude at its worst. |
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482 |
O my God, I am conscious of my mission in the Holy
Church. It is my constant endeavor to plead for me mercy for the world. I
unite myself closely with Jesus and stand before Him as an atoning sacrifice
on behalf of the world. God will refuse me nothing when I entreat Him with
the voice of His Son. My sacrifice is nothing in itself, but when I join it
to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, it becomes all-powerful and has the power
to appease divine wrath. God loves us in His Son; the painful Passion of the
Son of God constantly turns aside the wrath of God. |
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483 |
O God, how I desire that souls come to know You
and to see that You have created them because of Your unfathomable love. O my
Creator and Lord, I feel that I am going to remove the veil of heaven so that
earth will not doubt Your goodness. |
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484 |
On a certain occasion, I understood how very
displeased God is with an act, however commendable, that does not bear the
stamp of a pure intention. Such deeds incite God to punishment rather than to
reward. May such deeds be as few as possible in our lives; indeed, in
religious life, there should be none at all. |
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485 |
I accept joy or suffering, praise or humiliation
with the same disposition. I remember that one and the other are passing.
What does it matter to me what people say about me? I have long ago given up
everything that concerns my person. My name is host-or sacrifice, not in
words but in deeds, in the emptying of myself and in becoming like You on the
Cross, O good Jesus, my Master! |
|
486 |
Jesus, when You come to me in Holy Communion, You
who together with the Father and the Holy Spirit have deigned to dwell in the
little heaven of my heart, I try to keep You company throughout the day, I do
not leave You alone for even a moment. Although I am in the company of other
people or with our wards, my heart is always united to Him. When I am asleep
I offer Him every beat of my heart; when I awaken I immerse myself in Him
without saying a word. When I awaken I adore the Holy Trinity for a short
while and thank God for having deigned to give me yet another day, that the
mystery of the incarnation of His Son may once more be repeated in me, and
that once again His sorrowful Passion may unfold before my eyes. I then try
to make it easier for Jesus to pass through me to other souls. I go
everywhere with Jesus; His presence accompanies me everywhere. |
|
487 |
In the sufferings of soul or body, I try to keep
silence, for then my spirit gains the strength that flows from the Passion of
Jesus. I have ever before my eyes His sorrowful Face, abused and disfigured,
His divine Heart pierced by our sins and especially by the ingratitude of
chosen souls. |
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488 |
Twice I was exhorted to make myself ready for
sufferings awaiting me in Warsaw. The first warning was given interiorly by a
voice I heard, and the second took place during Holy Mass. Before the
elevation, I saw the Lord Jesus on the Cross and He said to me, Prepare yourself for sufferings. I thanked the Lord for the
grace of this warning and said to Him, "I am certainly not going t suffer more than You, my Savior." However, I took
this to heart and kept strengthening myself through prayer and little
sufferings so that I would be able to endure when the greater ones come. |
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489 |
On Friday evening during the rosary, when I was
thinking about tomorrow's journey and about the importance of the matter
which I was to present to Father Andrasz, [101]
fear seized me at the sight of my misery and incapability, and of the
greatness of God work. Crushed by this suffering, I submitted myself to the
will of God. At that moment, I saw Jesus, in a bright garment, near my
kneeler. He said, Why are you afraid to do My
will? Will I not help you as I have done thus far? Repeat every one of My
demands to those who represent Me on earth, but do only what they tell you to
do. At that, a certain strength entered my soul. |
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490 |
The next morning, I saw my Guardian Angel, who
accompanied me throughout the journey as far as Warsaw. He disappeared when
we entered the convent gate. Just as we were passing the little chapel on the
way to greet the superiors, God's presence took hold of me and the Lord
filled me with the fire of His love. At such moments, I always have a better
understanding of the greatness of His majesty. |
|
491 |
When I entered the chapel, once again the majesty
of God overwhelmed me. I felt that I was immersed in God, totally immersed in
Him and penetrated by Him, being aware of how much the heavenly Father loves
us. Oh, what great happiness fills my heart from knowing God and the divine
life! It is my desire to share this happiness with all people. I cannot keep
this happiness locked in my own heart alone, for His flames burn me and cause
my bosom and my entrails to burst asunder. I desire to go throughout the
whole world and speak to souls about the great mercy of God. Priests, help me
in this; use the strongest words [at your disposal] to proclaim His mercy,
for every word falls short of how merciful He really is. |
|
492 |
Eternal God, Goodness itself, whose mercy is
incomprehensible to every intellect, whether human or angelic, help me, your
feeble child, to do Your holy will as You make it known to me. I desire
nothing but to fulfill God's desires. Lord, here are my soul and my body, my
mind and my will, my heart and all my love. Rule me according to Your eternal
plans. |
|
493 |
After Holy Communion, my soul was again flooded
with God's love. I rejoiced in His greatness. Here I see distinctly His will,
which I am to carry out, and at the same time my own weakness and misery; I
see how I can do nothing without His help. |
|
494 |
When I was about to go to the parlor to see Father
Andrasz, I felt frightened because the secret is binding only in the
confessional. This was a groundless fear. One word from Mother Superior set
me at ease about it. Meanwhile, when I entered the chapel, I heard these
words in my soul: I want you to be open and simple as a child with My
representative just as you are with Me; otherwise I will leave you and will
not commune with you. |
|
495 |
Jesus, Eternal Light, enlighten my mind,
strengthen my will, inflame my heart and be with me as You have promised, for
without You I am nothing. You know, Jesus, how weak lam. l
do not need to tell You this, for You yourself know perfectly well how
wretched I am. It is in You that all my strength lies. |
|
496 |
Confession Day. From early morning, the turmoil in
my soul was more violent than anything I had ever experienced before.
Complete abandonment by God; I felt the utter weakness that I was. Thoughts
bore in upon me: why should I leave this convent where I am loved by the
sisters and superiors, where life is so tranquil; [where I am] bound by
perpetual vows and carry out my duties without difficulty; why should I
listen to the voice of my conscience; why follow an inspiration coming from
who knows where; wouldn't it be better to carry on like all the other
sisters? Perhaps the Lord's words could be stifled, not taken heed of; maybe
God will not demand an account of them on the day of judgment. Where will
this inner voice lead me? If I follow it, what tremendous difficulties,
tribulations and adversities are in store for me. I
fear the future, and I am agonizing in the present. |
|
497 |
O Eternal Truth, Word Incarnate, who most
faithfully fulfilled Your Father's will, today I am becoming a martyr of Your
inspirations, since I cannot carry them out because I have no will of my own,
though interiorly I see Your will clearly. I submit in everything to the will
of my superiors and my confessor. I will follow Your will insofar as You will
permit me to do so through Your representative. O my Jesus, it cannot be
helped, but I give priority to the voice of the Church over the voice with
which You speak to me. |
|
498 |
I saw Jesus in the usual way, and He spoke these
words to me: Lay your head on my shoulder, rest and regain your strength.
I am always with you. Tell the friend of My Heart that I use such feeble
creatures to carry out My work. After a while my spirit was strengthened
with great power. Tell him that I had let him see your weakness during
your confession to show him what you are of yourself. |
|
499 |
Each battle valiantly fought brings me joy, peace,
light, experience and courage for the future; honor and glory to God; and in
the end, for me, a reward. |
|
500 |
During Holy Mass I prayed fervently that Jesus
might become King of all hearts and that divine grace might shine in every
soul. Then I saw Jesus as He is depicted in the image, and He said to me,
My daughter, you give Me the greatest glory by faithfully fulfilling My
desires. |
Notebook I 1-50 51-100 101-150 151-200 201-250 251-300 301-350 351-400 401-450 451-500 501-521
Notebook II 522-600 601-650 651-700 701-750 751-800 801-850 851-900 901-950 951-1000
Notebook III 1001-1050 1051-1100 1101-1150 1151-1200 1201-1230
Notebook V
1322-1400 1401-1450 1451-1500 1501-1550 1551-1589
Notebook VI 1590-1650 1651-1700 1701-1750 1751-1803
Preparation for Holy Communion 1804-1828
Diary, St. Maria
Faustina Kowalska, Divine Mercy In My Soul
(c) Congregation of Marians of the Immaculate
Conception, Stockbridge, MA 01263.
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