>>DIVINE
MERCY
APOSTOLATE .... Diary
Divine
Mercy in my Soul PDF File
Notebook I 1-50 51-100 101-150 151-200 201-250 251-300 301-350 351-400 401-450 451-500 501-521
Notebook II 522-600 601-650 651-700 701-750 751-800 801-850 851-900 901-950 951-1000
Notebook III 1001-1050 1051-1100 1101-1150 1151-1200 1201-1230
Notebook V
1322-1400 1401-1450 1451-1500 1501-1550 1551-1589
Notebook VI 1590-1650 1651-1700 1701-1750 1751-1803
Preparation for Holy Communion 1804-1828
Diary Divine Mercy in My Soul ( I: 301 350 ) |
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Notebook 1 |
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301 |
Proclaim that mercy is the greatest
attribute of God. All the works of My hands are crowned with mercy. |
302 |
+O Eternal Love, I want all the souls You have
created to come to know You. I would like to be a priest, for then I would
speak without cease about Your mercy to sinful souls drowned in despair. I
would like to be a missionary and carry the light of faith to savage nations
in order to make You known to souls, and to be completely consumed for them
and to die a martyr's death, just as You died for them and for me. O Jesus, I
know only too well that I can be a priest, a missionary, a preacher, and that
I can die a martyr's death by completely emptying myself and denying myself
for love of You, O Jesus, and of immortal souls. |
303 |
Great love can change small things into great
ones, and it is only love which lends value to our actions. And the purer our
love becomes, the less there will be within us for the flames of suffering to
feed upon, and the suffering will cease to be a suffering for us; it will
become a delight! By the grace of God, I have received such a disposition of
heart that I am never so happy as when I suffer for
Jesus, whom I love with every beat of my heart. |
304 |
+O my Jesus, my only hope, thank You for the book
which You have opened before my soul's eyes. That book is Your Passion which
You underwent for love of me. It is from this book that I have learned how to
love God and souls. In this book there are found for us inexhaustible
treasures. O Jesus, how few souls understand You in Your martyrdom of love!
Oh, how great is the fire of purest love which burns in Your Most Sacred Heart!
Happy the soul that has come to understand the love of the Heart of Jesus! |
305 |
It is my greatest desire that souls should
recognize You as their eternal happiness, that they should come to believe in
Your goodness and glorify Your infinite mercy. |
306 |
I asked the Lord to grant me the grace that my
nature be immune and resist the influences that sometimes try to draw me away
from the spirit of our rule and from the minor regulations. These minor
transgressions are like little moths that try to destroy the spiritual life
within us, and they surely will destroy it if the soul is aware of these
minor transgressions and yet disregards them as small things. I can see
nothing that is small in the religious life. Little matter if I am sometimes
the object of vexation and jeers, as long as my spirit remains in harmony
with the spirit of the rules, the vows and the religious statutes. |
307 |
+ 1934. Once during Lent, I saw a great light and
a great darkness over house and chapel. I saw the struggle of these two
powers... |
308 |
1934, Holy Thursday. Jesus said to me, I desire
that you make an offering of yourself for sinners and especially far those souls who have lost hope in God's mercy. |
309 |
Before heaven and earth, before all the choirs of
Angels, before the Most Holy Virgin Mary, before all the Powers of heaven, I
declare to the One Triune God that today, in union with Jesus Christ,
Redeemer of souls, I make a voluntary offering of myself for the conversion
of sinners, especially for those souls who have lost hope in God's mercy.
This offering consists in my accepting, with total subjection to God's will,
all the sufferings, fears and terrors with which sinners are filled. In
return, I give them all the consolations which my soul receives from my
communion with God. In a word, I offer everything for them: Holy Masses, Holy
Communions, penances, mortifications, prayers. I do
not fear the blows, blows of divine justice, because I am united with Jesus.
O my God, in this way I want to make amends to You for the souls that do not
trust in Your goodness. I hope against all hope in the ocean of Your mercy.
My Lord and my God, my portion-my portion forever, I do not base this act of
oblation on my own strength, but on the strength that flows from the merits
of Jesus Christ. I will daily repeat this act of self-oblation by pronouncing
the following prayer which You yourself have taught me, Jesus: |
310 |
- I am giving you a share in the redemption
of mankind. You are solace in My dying hour. |
311 |
When I received permission from my confessor
[Father Sopocko] to make this act of oblation, I soon learned that it was
pleasing to God, because I immediately began to experience its effects. In a
moment my soul became like a stone-dried up, filled with torment and
disquiet. All sorts of blasphemies and curses kept pressing upon my ears.
Distrust and despair invaded my heart. This is the condition of the poor
people, which I have taken upon myself. At first, I was very much frightened
by these horrible things, but during the first [opportune] confession, I was
set at peace. |
312 |
+Once when I went outside the convent to go to
confession [St. Michael's Church], I chanced upon my confessor [Father
Sopocko] saying Mass just then. After a while I saw the Child Jesus on the
altar, joyfully and playfully holding out His hands to him. But a moment
later the priest took the beautiful Child into his hands, broke Him up and
ate Him alive. At the first instant I felt a dislike for the priest for
having done this to Jesus, but I was immediately enlightened in the matter
and understood that this priest was very pleasing to God. |
313 |
+Once, when I was visiting the artist [Eugene Kazimirowski] who was painting the image, and saw that it
was not as beautiful as Jesus is, I felt very sad about it, but I hid this
deep in my heart. When we had left the artist's house, Mother Superior
[Irene] stayed in town to attend to some matters while I returned home alone.
I went immediately to the chapel and wept a good deal. I said to the Lord,
"Who will paint You as beautiful as You are?" Then I heard these
words: Not in the beauty of the color, nor of the brush lies the greatness
of this image, but in My grace. |
314 |
+When I went to the garden one afternoon, my
Guardian Angel said to me, "Pray for the dying." And so I began at
once to pray the rosary with the gardeners for the dying. After the rosary,
we said various prayers for the dying. After the prayers, the wards began to
chat gayly among themselves. In spite of the noise
they were making, I heard these words in my soul: "Pray for me!"
But as I could not understand these words very well, I moved a few steps away
from the wards, trying to think who it could be who was asking me to pray.
Then I heard the words: "I am Sister ...." [78] This sister was in Warsaw while I was, at
the time, in Vilnius. "Pray for me until I tell you to stop. I am
dying." Immediately, I began to pray fervently for her, [addressing
myself] to the expiring Heart of Jesus. She gave me no respite, and I kept
praying from three [o'clock] until five. At five, I heard the words:
"Thank you!" and I understood that she had died. But during Holy
Mass on the following day, I continued to pray fervently for her soul. In the
afternoon, a postcard came saying that Sister ... had died at such and such a
time. I understood that it was at the same hour when she had said to me,
"Pray for me." |
315 |
+Mother of God, Your soul was plunged into a sea
of bitterness; look upon Your child and teach her to suffer and to love while
suffering. Fortify my soul that pain will not break it. Mother of grace,
teach me to live by [the power of] God. |
316 |
Once, the Mother of God came to visit me. She was
sad. Her eyes were cast down. She made it clear that She wanted to say
something, and yet, on the other hand, it was as if She did not want to speak
to me about it. When I understood this, I began to beg the Mother of God to
tell me and to look at me. Just then Mary looked at me with a warm smile and
said, You are going to experience certain sufferings because of an illness
and the doctors; you will also suffer much because of the image, but do not
be afraid of anything. The next day I fell ill and suffered a great deal,
just as the Mother of God had told me. But my soul was ready for the
sufferings. Suffering is a constant companion of my life. |
317 |
O my God, my only hope, I have placed all my trust
in You, and I know I shall not be disappointed. |
318 |
I often feel God's presence after Holy Communion
in a special and tangible way. I know God is in my heart. And the fact that I
feel Him in my heart does not interfere with my duties. Even when I am
dealing with very important matters which require attention, I do not lose
the presence of God in my soul, and I am closely united with Him. With Him I
go to work, with Him I go for recreation, with Him I suffer, with Him I
rejoice; I live in Him and He in me. I am never
alone, because He is my constant companion. He is present to me at every
moment. Our intimacy is very close, through a union of blood and of life. |
319 |
August 9, 1934. Night adoration on Thursdays. [79]
I made my hour of adoration from eleven o'clock till midnight. I offered it
for the conversion of hardened sinners, especially for those who have lost
hope in God's mercy. I was reflecting on how much God had suffered and on how
great was the love He had shown for us, and on the fact that we still do not
believe that God loves us so much. O Jesus, who can understand this? What
suffering it is for our Savior! How can He convince us of His love if even
His death cannot convince us? I called upon the whole of heaven to join me in
making amends to the Lord for the ingratitude of certain souls. |
320 |
Jesus made known to me how very pleasing to Him
were prayers of atonement. He said to me, The prayer of a humble and
loving soul disarms the anger of My Father and draws down an ocean of
blessings. After the adoration, half way to my cell, I was surrounded by a , pack of huge black dogs who were jumping and howling
and trying to tear me to pieces. I realized that they were not dogs, but
demons. One of them spoke up in a rage, "Because you have snatched so
many souls away from us this night, we will tear you to pieces." I
answered, "If that is the will of the most merciful God, tear me to
pieces, for I have justly deserved it, because I am the most miserable of all
sinners, and God is ever holy, just, and infinitely merciful." To these
words all the demons answered as one, "Let us flee, for she is not
alone; the Almighty is with her!" And they vanished like dust, like the
noise of the road, while I continued on my way to my cell undisturbed,
finishing my Te Deum and pondering the infinite and
unfathomable mercy of God. |
321 |
A sudden illness-a mortal suffering. It was not
death, that is to say, a passing over to real life, but a taste of the
sufferings of death. Although it gives us eternal life, death is dreadful.
Suddenly, I felt sick, I gasped for breath, there was darkness before my
eyes, my limbs grew numb-and there was a terrible suffocation. Even a moment
of such suffocation is extremely long.... There also comes a strange fear, in
spite of trust. I wanted to receive the last sacraments, but it was extremely
difficult to make a confession even though I desired to do so. A person does
not know what he is saying; not finishing one thing, he begins another. |
322 |
O my Congregation, my mother, how sweet it is to
live in you, but it is even better to die in you! |
323 |
After I received the last sacraments, there was a
definite improvement. I remained alone. This lasted for half an hour and then
came another attack; but this one was not so strong, as the doctor
intervened. |
324 |
The next day, I felt very weak, but experienced no
further suffering. After Holy Communion, I saw the Lord Jesus just as I had
seen Him during one adoration. The Lord's gaze
pierced my soul through and through, and not even the least speck of dust
escaped His notice. And I said to Jesus, "Jesus, I thought You were
going to take me. "And Jesus answered, My
will has not yet been fully accomplished in you; you will still remain on
earth, but not for long. I am well pleased with your trust, but your love
should be more ardent. Pure love gives the soul strength at the very moment
of dying. When I was dying on the cross, I was not thinking about Myself, but
about poor sinners, and I prayed for them to My Father. I want your last
moments to be completely similar to Mine on the cross. There is but one price
at which souls are bought, and that is suffering united to My suffering on
the cross. Pure love understands these words; carnal love will never
understand them. |
325 |
1934. On the day of the Assumption of the Mother
of God, I did not assist at Holy Mass. The woman doctor [80] did not allow me; but I prayed fervently in my cell. After a short
time, I saw the Mother of God, unspeakably beautiful. She said to me, My
daughter, what I demand from you is prayer, prayer, and once again prayer,
for the world and especially for your country. For nine days receive Holy
Communion in atonement and unite yourself closely to the Holy Sacrifice of
the Mass. During these nine days you will stand before God as an offering;
always and everywhere, at all times and places, day or night, whenever you
wake up, pray in the spirit. In spirit, one can always remain in prayer. |
326 |
Once, Jesus said to me, My gaze from this image
is like My gaze from the cross. |
327 |
Once, my confessor [Father Sopocko] asked me where
the inscription should be placed, because there was not enough space in the
picture for everything. I answered, "I will pray and give you an answer
next week." When I left the confessional and was passing before the
Blessed Sacrament, I received an inner understanding about the inscription.
Jesus reminded me of what He had told me the first time; namely, that these
three words must be clearly in evidence: "Jesus, I trust in You. "["Jezu, Ufam Tobie.'] I understood that
Jesus wanted the whole formula to be there, but He gave no direct orders to
this effect as He did for these three words. |
328 |
O purest Love, rule in all Your plenitude in my
heart and help me to do Your holy will most faithfully! |
329 |
Toward the end of a three-day retreat, I saw
myself walking along a rough path. I kept stumbling continually, and I saw
following me the figure of a person who kept supporting me. I was not happy
with this and asked the person to leave me alone, as I wanted to walk on my
own. But the figure, whom I could not recognize, did
not leave me for a moment. I got impatient and turned around and pushed the
person away from me. At that moment I saw that it was Mother Superior
[Irene], and at the same moment I saw that it was not Mother Superior, but
the Lord Jesus who looked deeply into me and gave me to understand how
painful it was to Him when I did not, even in the smallest things, do my
superior's will, which is My will, [He said]. I asked pardon of the Lord and
took the warning very much to heart. |
330 |
+Once, the confessor told me to pray for his
intention, and I began a novena to the Mother of God. This novena consisted
in the prayer, "Hail, Holy Queen," recited nine times. Toward the
end of the novena I saw the Mother of God with the Infant Jesus in Her arms,
and I also saw my confessor kneeling at Her feet and talking with Her. I did
not understand what he was saying to Her, because I was busy talking with the
Infant Jesus, who came down from His Mother's arms and approached me. I could
not stop wondering at His beauty. I heard a few of the words that the Mother
of God spoke to him [i.e., my confessor] but not everything. The words were:
I am not only the Queen of Heaven, but also the Mother of Mercy and your
Mother. And at that moment She stretched out her right hand, in which She
was clasping her mantle, and She covered the priest with it. At that moment,
the vision vanished. |
331 |
Oh, how great a grace it is to have a spiritual
director! One makes more rapid progress in virtue, sees the will of God more
clearly, fulfills it more faithfully, and follows a road that is sure and
free of dangers. The director knows how to avoid the rocks against which the
soul could be shattered. The Lord gave me this grace rather late, to be sure,
but I rejoice in it greatly, seeing how God inclines His will to my
director's wishes. I will mention just one incident out of a thousand that
have happened to me. As I usually do, I asked the Lord Jesus one evening to
give me the points for next day's meditation. I received the answer: Meditate
on the Prophet Jonah and his mission. I thanked the Lord, but began to think
within myself of how different that subject was from the others. But with all
my soul I strove to meditate about it, and I recognized myself in the person
of the prophet, in the sense that often I, too, try to make excuses to the
Lord, claiming that someone else would do His holy will better [than I
could], and not understanding that God can do all things and that His
omnipotence will be all the more manifest if the tool is poorer. God made
this clear to me in the following way. That afternoon, there was confession
for the community. When I presented to the director of my soul the fear that
seized me because of this mission for which God was using me, clumsy tool
that I was, my spiritual father answered that, willing or not, we must carry
out the will of God, and he gave me the Prophet Jonah as an example. After
the confession, I wondered how the confessor knew that God had told me to
meditate about Jonah; surely I myself had not told him. Then I heard these words:When the priest
acts in my place, he does not act of himself, but I act through him. His
wishes are Mine. I can see how Jesus defends His representatives. He
himself enters into their actions. |
332 |
+Thursday. When I started the Holy Hour, I wanted
to immerse myself in the agony of Jesus in the Garden of Olives. Then I heard
a voice in my soul:Meditate
on the mystery of the Incarnation . And suddenly the Infant Jesus appeared
before me, radiant with beauty. He told me how much God is pleased with
simplicity in a soul. Although My greatness is beyond understanding, I
commune only with those who are little. I demand of you a childlike spirit.
|
333 |
I now see clearly how God acts through the
confessor and how faithfully He keeps His promises. Two weeks ago, my
confessor told me to reflect upon this spiritual childhood. It was somewhat
difficult at first, but my confessor, disregarding my difficulties, told me
to continue to reflect upon spiritual childhood. "In practice, this
spiritual childhood," [he said,] "should manifest itself in this
way: a child does not worry about the past or the future, but makes use of
the present moment. I want to emphasize that spiritual childlikeness in you,
Sister, and I place great stress upon it." I can see how God bows down
to my confessor's wishes; He does not show himself to me at this time as a
Teacher in the fullness of His strength and human adulthood, but as a little
Child. The God who is beyond all understanding stoops to me under the
appearance of a little Child. |
334 |
But the eye of my soul does not stop at this
appearance. Although You take the form of a little Child, I see in You the
immortal, infinite Lord of lords, whom pure spirits adore, day and night, and
for whom the hearts of the Seraphim burn with the
fire of purest love. O Christ, O Jesus, I want to surpass them in my love for
You! I apologize to you, O pure spirits, for my boldness in comparing myself
to you. I, this chasm of misery, this abyss of misery; and You, O God, who
are the incomprehensible abyss of mercy, swallow me up as the heat of the sun
swallows up a drop of dew! A loving look from You will fill up any abyss. I
feel immensely happy at the greatness of God. Seeing God's greatness is more
than enough to make me happy throughout all eternity! |
335 |
Once, when I saw Jesus in the form of a small
child, I asked, "Jesus, why do you now take on the form of a child when
You commune with me? In spite of this, I still see in You the infinite God,
my Lord and Creator. Jesus replied that until I learned simplicity and
humility, He would commune with me as a little child. |
336 |
+1934. During Holy Mass, when the Lord Jesus was
exposed in the Blessed Sacrament, before Holy Communion I saw two rays coming
out from the Blessed Host, just as they are painted in the image, one of them
red and the other pale. And they were reflected on each of the sisters and
wards, but not on all in the same way. On some of them the rays were barely
visible. It was the last day of the children's retreat. |
337 |
November 22, 1934. +On one occasion, my spiritual
director [Father Sopocko] told me to look carefully into myself and to
examine whether I had any attachment to some particular object or creature,
or even to myself, or whether I engaged in useless chatter, "for all
these things," [he said,] "get in the way of the Lord Jesus, who
wants complete freedom in directing your soul. God is jealous of our hearts
and wants us to love Him alone." |
338 |
When I started to look deep within myself, I did
not find any attachment to anything, but as in all things that concern me, so
also in this matter, I was afraid and distrustful of myself. Tired out by
this detailed selfexamination, I went before the
Blessed Sacrament and asked Jesus with all my heart, "Jesus, my Spouse,
Treasure of my heart, You know that I know You alone and that I have no other
love but You; but, Jesus, if I were about to become attached to anything that
is not You, I beg and entreat You, Jesus, by the power of Your mercy, let
instant death descend upon me, for I prefer to die a thousand times than to
be unfaithful to You once in even the smallest thing." |
339 |
At that moment, Jesus suddenly stood before me,
coming I know not from where, radiant with unbelievable beauty, clothed in a
white garment, with uplifted arms, and He spoke these words to me, My
daughter, your heart is My repose; it is My delight. I find in it everything
that is refused Me by so many souls. Tell this to My representative. And
an instant later, I saw nothing, but a whole ocean of consolations entered my
soul. |
340 |
I know now that nothing can put a stop to my love
for You, Jesus, neither suffering, nor adversity, nor fire nor the sword, nor
death itself. I feel stronger than all these things. Nothing can compare with
love. I see that the smallest things done by a soul that loves God sincerely
have an enormous value in His Holy eyes. |
341 |
November 5, 1934. One morning, when it was my duty
to open the gate to let out our people who deliver baked goods, I entered the
little chapel to visit Jesus for a minute and to renew the intentions of the
day. Today, Jesus, I offer You all my sufferings, mortifications and prayers
for the intentions of the Holy Father, so that he may approve the Feast of
Mercy. But, Jesus, I have one more word to say to You: I am very surprised
that You bid me to talk about this Feast of Mercy, for they tell me that there
is already such a feast [81]
and so why should I talk about it? And Jesus said to me, And who knows
anything about this feast? No one! Even those who should be proclaiming My
mercy and teaching people about it often do not know about it themselves.
That is why I want the image to be solemnly blessed on the first Sunday after
Easter, and I want it to be venerated publicly so that every soul may know
about it. Make a novena for the Holy Father's intention. It should consist of
thirty-three acts; that is, repetition that many times of the short
prayer-which I have taught you-to The Divine Mercy. |
342 |
Suffering is the greatest treasure on earth; it
purifies the soul. In suffering, we learn who our true friend is. |
343 |
True love is measured by the thermometer of
suffering. Jesus, I thank You for the little daily crosses, for opposition to
my endeavors, for the hardships of communal life, for the misinterpretation
of my intentions, for humiliations at the hands of others, for the harsh way
in which we are treated, for false suspicions, for poor health and loss of
strength, for self-denial, for dying to myself, for lack of recognition in
everything, for the upsetting of all my plans. |
344 |
One evening as I entered my cell, I saw the Lord
Jesus exposed in the monstrance under the open sky, as it seemed. At the feet
of Jesus I saw my confessor, and behind him a great number of the highest
ranking ecclesiastics, clothed in vestments the like of which I had never
seen except in this vision; and behind them, groups of religious from various
orders; and further still I saw enormous crowds of people, which extended far
beyond my vision. I saw the two rays coming out from the Host, as in the
image, closely united but not intermingled; and they passed through the hands
of my confessor, and then through the hands of the clergy and from their
hands to the people, and then they returned to the Host... and at that moment
I saw myself once again in the cell which I had just entered. |
345 |
December 22, 1934. When it was possible for me to
go to confession during the week, I happened to get there when my confessor
was saying Holy Mass. During the third part of the Mass I saw the Infant
Jesus, a little smaller than usual and with this difference, that He was
wearing a violet tunic. He usually has a white one. |
346 |
December 24, 1934. The Vigil of Christmas. During
the morning Mass, I felt the closeness of God. Though I was hardly aware of
it, my spirit was drowned in God. Suddenly, I heard these words: You are
My delightful dwelling place; My Spirit rests in you. After these words,
I felt the Lord looking into the depths of my heart; and seeing my misery, I
humbled myself in spirit and admired the immense mercy of God, that the Most
High Lord would approach such misery. |
347 |
Midnight Mass. As Holy Mass began, I immediately
felt a great interior recollection; joy filled my soul. During the offertory,
I saw Jesus on the altar, incomparably beautiful. The whole time the Infant
kept looking at everyone, stretching out His little hands. During the
elevation, the Child was not looking towards the chapel but up to heaven.
After the elevation He looked at us again, but just for a short while,
because He was broken up and eaten by the priest in the usual manner. His
pinafore was now white. The next day I saw the same thing, and on the third
day as well. It is difficult for me to express the joy of my soul. The vision
was repeated at the three Masses in the same way as in the first ones. |
348 |
The first Thursday after Christmas. I completely
forgot it was Thursday and so did not make my adoration. At nine o'clock I
went directly to the dormitory with the other sisters. But strangely enough,
I could not fall asleep. It seemed to me that I had not yet done something
that I was supposed to do. Mentally, I reviewed all my duties, and could not
recollect anything. This lasted until ten o'clock. At ten, I saw the
Sorrowful Face of Jesus. Then Jesus spoke these words to me: I have been
waiting to share My suffering with you, for who can understand My suffering
better than My spouse? I asked pardon of Jesus for my coldness. Ashamed
and not daring to look at the Lord Jesus, but with a contrite heart, I asked
Him to give me one thorn from His crown. He answered that He would grant me
this favor, but not until tomorrow, and immediately the vision disappeared. |
349 |
In the morning, during meditation, I felt a
painful thorn in the left side of my head. The suffering continued all day. I
meditated continually about how Jesus had been able to endure the pain of so
many thorns which made up His crown. I joined my suffering to the sufferings
of Jesus and offered it for sinners. At four o'clock when I came for
adoration, I saw one of our wards offending God greatly by sins of impure
thoughts. I also saw a certain person who was the cause of her sin. My soul
was pierced with fear, and I asked God, for the sake of Jesus' pain, to
snatch her from this terrible misery. |
350 |
Jesus answered that He would grant her that favor,
not for her sake, but for the sake of my request. Now I understood how much
we ought to pray for sinners, and especially for our wards. |
Notebook I 1-50 51-100 101-150 151-200 201-250 251-300 301-350 351-400 401-450 451-500 501-521
Notebook II 522-600 601-650 651-700 701-750 751-800 801-850 851-900 901-950 951-1000
Notebook III 1001-1050 1051-1100 1101-1150 1151-1200 1201-1230
Notebook V
1322-1400 1401-1450 1451-1500 1501-1550 1551-1589
Notebook VI 1590-1650 1651-1700 1701-1750 1751-1803
Preparation for Holy Communion 1804-1828
Diary, St. Maria
Faustina Kowalska, Divine Mercy In My Soul
(c) Congregation of Marians of the Immaculate
Conception, Stockbridge, MA 01263.
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purchase the dairy, visit the Marians of the
Immaculate Conception website
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