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Divine
Mercy in my Soul PDF
File A. Diary BM. Diary (part) . footnotes
Notebook I 1-50 51-100 101-150 151-200 201-250 251-300 301-350 351-400 401-450 451-500 501-521
Notebook II 522-600 601-650 651-700 701-750 751-800 801-850 851-900 901-950 951-1000
Notebook III 1001-1050 1051-1100 1101-1150 1151-1200 1201-1230
Notebook V
1322-1400 1401-1450 1451-1500 1501-1550 1551-1589
Notebook VI 1590-1650 1651-1700 1701-1750 1751-1803
Preparation for Holy Communion 1804-1828
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Diary
Divine Mercy in My Soul ( I: 101
150 ) |
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Notebook 1 |
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101 |
Jesus, You alone know how the
soul, engulfed in darkness, moans in the midst of these torments and, despite
all this, thirsts for God as burning lips thirst for water. It dies and
withers; it dies a death without death; that is to say, it cannot die. All
its efforts come to nothing; it is under a powerful hand. Now the soul comes
under the power of the Just One. All exterior temptations cease; all that
surrounds it becomes silent, like a dying person who loses contact with
everything around it: the person's entire soul is in the hand of the Just
God, the Thrice-Holy God,-rejected for all eternity! This is the culminating
moment, and God alone can test a soul in this way, because He alone knows
what the soul can endure. |
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102 |
After some time, one of the sisters came into the cell and found me almost dead. She was frightened and went to find the Directress of Novices who, in the name of holy obedience ordered me to get up from the ground. My strength returned immediately, and I got up, trembling. The Directress recognized immediately the state of my soul and spoke to me about the inscrutable mercy of God, saying, "Do not be distressed about anything, Sister. I command this of you in virtue of obedience." Then she said to me, "I see now, Sister, that God is calling you to a high degree of holiness; the Lord wants to draw you very close to Himself since He has allowed these things to happen to you so soon. Be faithful to God, Sister, because this is a sign that He wants you to have a high place in heaven." However, I did not understand anything of these words. When I went into the chapel, I felt as though my soul had been set free from everything, as though I had just come forth from the hand of God. I perceived the inviolability of my soul; I felt that I was a tiny child. |
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103 |
Suddenly I saw the Lord interiorly, and He said to me, Fear not, My daughter; I am with you. In that single moment, all the darkness and torments vanished, my senses were inundated with unspeakable joy, [and] the faculties of my soul filled with light. |
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104 |
I want to add that, although my soul was already in the rays of His love, traces of my past tortures remained on my body for two days: a deathly pale face and bloodshot eyes. Jesus alone knows what I suffered. What I have written is very poor compared to the reality. I cannot put it in words; it seemed to me that I had come back from the other world. I feel an aversion for everything that is created; I snuggle to the heart of God like a baby to its mother's breast. I see everything differently now. I am conscious of what the Lord, by one single word, has done in my soul, and I live by it. I shudder at the recollection of this past torture. I would not have believed that one could suffer so, if I had not gone through it myself. This is a completely spiritual suffering. |
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105 |
However, in all these
sufferings and struggles, I was not omitting Holy Communion. When it seemed
to me that I should not communicate, I went, before Holy Communion, to the
Directress and told her that I could not approach the Sacrament, because it
seemed to me that I should not do so. But she would not permit me to omit
Holy Communion, so I went, and I understand now that it was only obedience
that saved me. |
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106 |
Though these are frightening things, the soul should not be too fearful, because God will never test us beyond what we are able to bear. On the other hand, He may never send us such sufferings, but I write this because, if it pleases the Lord to let a soul pass through such sufferings, it should not be afraid but, insofar as this depends on the soul itself, it should remain faithful to God. God will do a soul no harm, because He is Love itself, and in this unfathomable love has called it into being. However, when I was so tormented, I myself did not understand this. |
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107 |
O my God, I have come to know that I am not of this earth; You, O Lord, have poured this profound awareness into my soul. My communion is more with heaven than with earth, though I in no way neglect my duties. |
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108 |
During those times, I had no spiritual director; I was without any kind of guidance whatever. I begged the Lord, but He did not give me a director. Jesus himself has been my Master from the days of my infancy up to the present moment. He accompanied me across all the deserts and through all dangers. I see clearly that God alone could have led me through such great perils unharmed, with my soul untarnished and passing victoriously through all difficulties, immense though they were. Going out[ ...] Later on, the Lord did give me a director. |
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109 |
After such sufferings the soul finds itself in a state of great purity of spirit and very close to God. But I should add that during these spiritual torments it is close to God, but it is blind. The soul's vision is plunged into darkness, and though God is nearer than ever to the soul which is suffering, the whole secret consists in the fact that it knows nothing of this. The soul in fact declares that, not only has God abandoned it, but it is the object of His hatred. With how great a malady are they eyes of the soul afflicted! When struck by divine light, the soul affirms that this light does not exist, although it is precisely because this divine light is so bright that it is blinded. Yet despite all, I learned later that God is closer to a soul at such moments than at others, because it would not be able to endure these trials with the help of ordinary grace alone. God's omnipotence and an extraordinary grace must be active here, for otherwise the soul would succumb at the first blow. |
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110 |
O Divine Master, what happens in my soul is Your work alone! You, O Lord, are not afraid to place the soul on the edge of a terrible precipice where it stands, alarmed and filled with fright, and then You call it back again to Yourself. These are Your imponderable mysteries. |
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111 |
When, in the midst of these interior torments, I tried to accuse myself in confession of the smallest trifles, the priest was surprised that I had not committed graver faults, and he said to me, "If you are as faithful as this to God during these sufferings, this in itself is evidence to me that God is sustaining you, Sister, with a special grace, and it is a good thing that you do not understand this." It is a strange thing, nevertheless, that confessors could neither understand me nor set my mind at peace concerning these matters, until I met Father Andrasz and, later on, Father Sopocko. |
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112 |
+A few words about confession
and confessors. I shall speak only of what I have experienced and gone
through within my own soul. There are three things which hinder the soul from
drawing profit from confession in these exceptional moments. |
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113 |
And again, I would like to
say three words to the soul that is determined to strive for sanctity and to
derive fruit; that is to say, benefit from confession. |
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114 |
+Oh, how pleasing are the hymns flowing from a suffering soul! All heaven delights in such a soul, especially when it is tested by God. It mournfully sings out its longing for Him. Great is its beauty, because it comes from God. The soul walks through the jungle of life, wounded by God's love. With one foot only it touches the ground. |
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115 |
+ When a soul has come out of
these tribulations, it is deeply humble. Its purity of soul is great. It
knows better without need of reflecting, as it were, what it ought to do at a
given moment and what to forbear. It feels the lightest touch of grace and is
very faithful to God. It recognizes God from afar and continuously rejoices
in Him. It discovers God very quickly in other souls and in its environment
in general. The soul has been purified by God himself. God, as Pure Spirit,
introduces the soul to a life which is purely spiritual. God himself has
first prepared and purified the soul; that is, He has made it capable of
close communion with himself. The soul, in a state of loving repose, communes
spiritually with the Lord. It speaks to God without the need of expressing
itself through the senses. God fills it with His light. |
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116 |
My Jesus, You know what my soul goes through at the recollection of these sufferings. I have often marvelled that the angels and saints hold their peace at the sight of a soul suffering like that. Yet they have special love for us at such moments. My soul has often cried out after God, as a little child who cries as loudly as he can when his mother covers her face and he cannot recognize her. O my Jesus, honor and glory to You for these trials of love! Great and incomprehensible is your mercy. All that You intended for my soul, O Lord, is steeped in Your mercy. |
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117 |
I will mention here that those who live with such a person should not add external sufferings; for indeed, when the soul's cup is full, the little drop we may add to it may be the one drop too much, and the cup of bitterness will overflow. And who will answer for such a soul? Let us beware of adding to the suffering of others, because that is displeasing to the Lord. If the sisters or the superiors knew or even suspected that a soul was suffering such trials, and they nevertheless added still other sufferings, they would be sinning gravely, and God himself would demand an account of them on behalf of such a soul. I am not speaking here of instances which of their very nature are sinful, but of things which in other circumstances would not be sinful. Let us be on our guard against having the weight of such a soul on our conscience. This is a grave and common defect in religious life; namely, that when one sees a suffering soul, one always wants to add even more suffering. I do not say that everyone acts like this, but there are some. We take the liberty of passing all sorts of judgments, and we repeat them when we would do better to remain silent. |
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118 |
The tongue is a small member,
but it does big things. A religious who does not keep silence will never
attain holiness; that is, she will never become a saint. Let her not delude
herself-unless it is the Spirit of God who is speaking through her, for then
she must not keep silent. But, in order to hear the voice of God, one has to
have silence in one's soul and to keep silence; not a gloomy silence, but an
interior silence; that is to say, recollection in God. One can speak a great
deal without breaking silence and, on the contrary, one can speak little and
be constantly breaking silence. Oh, what irreparable damage is done by the
breach of silence! We cause a lot of harm to our neighbor, but even more to
our own selves. |
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119 |
I tremble to think that I have to give an account of my tongue. There is life, but there is also death in the tongue. Sometimes we kill with the tongue: we commit real murders. And we are still to regard that as a small thing? I truly do not understand such consciences. I have known a person who, when she learned from someone that a certain thing was being said about her, fell seriously ill. She lost a good deal of blood and shed many tears, and the outcome was very sad. It was not the sword that did all this, but the tongue. O my silent Jesus, have mercy on us! |
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120 |
I have wandered onto the subject of silence. But this is not what I wanted to speak about, but rather about the soul's life with God and about its response to grace. When a soul has been cleansed, and the Lord is on intimate terms with it, it begins to apply all its inner force in striving after God. Yet the soul cannot do anything of itself. God alone arranges everything. The soul knows this and is mindful of it. It is still in exile and understands well that there may yet come cloudy and rainy days, but it must now look upon things differently from what it had up to now. It does not seek reassurance in a false peace, but makes ready for battle. It knows it comes from a warrior race. It is now much more aware of everything. It knows that it is of royal stock. It is concerned with all that is great and holy. |
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121 |
+There is a series of graces which
God pours into the soul after these trials by fire. The soul enjoys intimate
union with God. It has many visions, both corporeal and intellectual. It
hears many supernatural words, and sometimes distinct orders. But despite
these graces, it is not self-sufficient. In fact it is even less so as a
result of God's graces, because it is now open to many dangers and can easily
fall prey to illusions. It ought to ask God for a spiritual director; but not
only must it pray for one, it must also make every effort to find a leader
who is an expert in these things, just as a military leader must know the
ways along which he will lead [his followers] into battle. A soul that is
united with God must be prepared for great and hard-fought battles. |
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122 |
When I opened myself up to my superiors, one of them [probably Mother Michael or Mother Mary Joseph] understood my soul and the road God intended for me. When I followed her advice, I made quick progress towards perfection. But this did not last long. When I opened up my soul still more deeply, I did not obtain what I desired; it seemed to my superior that these graces [of which I was the object] were unlikely, and so I could not draw any further help from her. She told me it was impossible that God should commune with His creatures in such a way: "I fear for you, Sister; isn't this an illusion of some sort! You'd better go and seek the advice of a priest." But the confessor did not understand me and said, "You'd better go, Sister, and talk about these matters with your superiors." And so I would go from the superiors to the confessor and from the confessor to the superiors, and I found no peace. These divine graces became a great suffering for me. And more than once I said to the Lord directly, "Jesus, I am afraid of You; could You not be some kind of a ghost?" Jesus always reassured me, but I still continued to be incredulous. It is a strange thing however: the more I became incredulous, the more Jesus gave me proofs that these things came from Him. |
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123 |
+When I saw that my mind was not being set at rest by my superiors, I decided to say nothing [to them] of these purely interior matters. Exteriorly I tried, as a good nun should, to tell everything to my superiors, but as for the needs of my soul, I spoke about these only in the confessional. For many very good reasons, I learned that a woman is not called to discern such mysteries. I laid myself open to much unnecessary suffering. For quite a long time I was regarded as one possessed by the evil spirit, and I was looked upon with pity, and the superior took certain precautionary actions in my respect. It reached my ears that the sisters also regarded me as such. And the sky grew dark around me. I began to shun these divine graces, but it was beyond my power to do so. Suddenly I would be enveloped in such recollection that, against my will, I was immersed in God, and the Lord kept me completely dependent upon Himself. |
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124 |
In the initial moments my soul is always a little frightened, but later it is filled with a strange peace and strength. |
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125 |
+All these things could still be endured. But when the Lord demanded that I should paint that picture, they began to speak openly about me and to regard me as a hysteric and a fantasist, and the rumors began to grow louder. One of the sisters came to talk to me in private. She began by pitying me and said, "I've heard them say that you are a fantasist, Sister, and that you've been having visions. My poor Sister, defend yourself in this matter." She was a sincere soul, and she told me sincerely what she had heard. But I had to listen to such things every day. God only knows how tiring it was. |
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126 |
Yet, I resolved to bear everything in silence and to give no explanations when I was questioned. Some were irritated by my silence, especially those who were more curious. Others, who reflected more deeply, said, "Sister Faustina must be very close to God if she has the strength to bear so much suffering." It was as if I were facing two groups of judges. I strove after interior and exterior silence. I said nothing about myself, even though I was questioned directly by some sisters. My lips were sealed. I suffered like a dove, without complaint. But some sisters seemed to find pleasure in vexing me in whatever way they could. My patience irritated them. But God gave me so much inner strength that I endured it calmly. |
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127 |
+ I learned that I would have help from no one at such moments, and I started to pray and beg the Lord for a confessor. My only desire was that some priest would say this one word to me, "Be at peace, you are on the right road," or "Reject all this for it does not come from God." But I could not find such a priest who was sufficiently sure of himself to give me a definite opinion in the name of the Lord. And so the uncertainty continued. O Jesus, if it is Your will that I live in such uncertainty, may Your Name be blessed! I beg You, Lord, direct my soul yourself and be with me, for of myself I am nothing. |
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128 |
Thus I have already been
judged from all sides. There is no longer anything in me that has escaped the sisters' judgment. But it seems now to
have worn itself out, and they have begun to leave me in peace. My tormented
soul has had some rest, and I have learned that the Lord has been closest to
me in times of such persecutions. This [truce] lasted for only a short time.
A violent storm broke out again. And now the old suspicions became, for them,
as if true facts, and once again I had to listen to the same old songs. The
Lord would have it that way. But then, strangely enough, even exteriorly I
began to experience various failures. This brought down on me many sufferings
of all sorts, known to God alone. |
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129 |
Satan always takes advantage of such moments; thoughts of discouragement began to rise to the surface-for your faithfulness and sincerity-this is your reward. How can one be sincere when one is so misunderstood? Jesus, Jesus, I cannot go on any longer. Again I fell to the ground under this weight, and I broke out in a sweat, and fear began to overcome me. I had no one to lean on interiorly. Suddenly I heard a voice within my soul, Do not fear; I am with you. And an unusual light illumined my mind, and I understood that I should not give in to such sorrows. I was filled with a certain strength and left my cell with new courage to suffer. |
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130 |
Nevertheless, I began to grow a bit negligent. I did not pay attention to these interior inspirations and tried to distract myself. But despite the noise and the distraction, I could see what was going on in my soul. The word of God is clear, and nothing can stifle it. I began to avoid encounters with the Lord in my soul because I did not want to fall prey to illusions. However, in a sense, the Lord kept pursuing me with His gifts; and truly I experienced, alternately, torture and joy. I make no mention here of the various visions and graces God granted me during this time, because I've written this down elsewhere. [42] |
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131 |
But I will simply mention
here that these various sufferings had come to a peak, and I resolved to put an
end to these doubts of mine before my perpetual vows. Throughout my
probation, I prayed for light for the priest to whom I was to open up my soul
to its depths. I asked God that He himself would help me and grant me the
grace to be able to express even the most secret things that exist between me
and Him and to be so disposed that, whatever the priest would decide, I would
accept as coming from Jesus himself. No matter what judgment he would pass on
me, all I wanted was the truth and a decisive answer to certain questions. I
put myself completely in God's hands, and [all] my soul desired was the
truth. I could not go on living in doubt any longer although, in the depths
of my soul, I was so very sure that these things came from God,
that I would lay down my life for this. However, I placed the
confessor's opinion above all, and I made up my mind to do as he thought best
and to act according to the advice that he would give me. I looked forward to
that moment which would decide the course of my actions for the rest of my
life. I knew that everything would depend on this. It mattered little whether
what he would say to me would be in accord with my inspirations or quite the
contrary; this no longer mattered to me. I wanted to know the truth and
follow it. |
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132 |
I must again mention that
there are some confessors who seem to be true spiritual fathers, but only as
long as things go well. When the soul finds itself in greater need, they
become perplexed, and either cannot or will not understand the soul. They try
to get rid of the person as soon as possible. But if the soul is humble, it
will always profit in some little way or other. God himself will sometimes
cast a shaft of light into the depths of the soul, because of its humility and
faith. The confessor will sometimes say something he had never intended to
say, without even realizing it himself. Oh, let the soul believe that such
words are the words of the Lord himself! Though indeed we ought to believe
that every word spoken in the confessional is God's, what I have referred to
above is something that comes directly from God. And the soul perceives that
the priest is not master of himself, that he is saying things that he would
rather not say. This is how God rewards faith. |
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133 |
+Once, one of the older Mothers [probably Mother Jane [43]] summoned me, and it was as if fiery bolts from the blue were coming down upon my head, so much so that I could not even discover what it was all about. But after a while I understood that it was about a matter over which I had no control whatsoever. She said to me, "Get it out of your head, Sister, that the Lord Jesus might be communing in such an intimate way with such a miserable bundle of imperfections as you! Bear in mind that it is only with holy souls that the Lord Jesus communes in this way!" I acknowledged that she was right, because I am indeed a wretched person, but still I trust in God's mercy. When I met the Lord I humbled myself and said, "Jesus, it seems that You do not associate intimately with such wretched people as I" Be at peace, My daughter, it is precisely through such misery that I want to show the power of My mercy. I understood that this Mother had merely wanted to subject me to a [salutary] humiliation. |
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134 |
+ O my Jesus, You have tested me so many times in this short life of mine! I have come to understand so many things, and even such that now amaze me. Oh, how good it is to abandon oneself totally to God and to give Him full freedom to act in one's soul! |
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135 |
During the third probation,
the Lord gave me to understand that I should offer myself to Him so that He
could do with me as He pleased. I was to remain standing before Him as a
victim offering. At first, I was quite frightened, as I felt myself to be so
utterly miserable and knew very well that this was the case. I answered the
Lord once again, "I am misery itself; how can I be a hostage [for
others]? You do not understand this today. Tomorrow, during your
adoration, I will make it known to you. My heart trembled, as did my
soul, so deeply did these words sink into my soul. The word of God is living.
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136 |
And the Lord gave me to know
that the whole mystery depended on me, on my free consent to the sacrifice
given with full use of my faculties. In this free and conscious act lies the
whole power and value before His Majesty. Even if none of these things for
which I offered myself would ever happen to me, before the Lord everything
was as though it had already been consummated. |
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137 |
Suddenly, when I had consented to the sacrifice with all my heart and all my will, God's presence pervaded me. My soul became immersed in God and was inundated with such happiness that I cannot put in writing even the smallest part of it. I felt that His Majesty was enveloping me. I was extraordinarily fused with God. I saw that God was well pleased with me and, reciprocally, my spirit drowned itself in Him. Aware of this union with God, I felt I was especially loved and, in turn, I loved with all my soul. A great mystery took place during that adoration, a mystery between the Lord and myself. It seemed to me that I would die of love [at the sight of] His glance. I spoke much with the Lord, without uttering a single word. And the Lord said to me, You are the delight of My Heart; from today on, every one of your acts, even the very smallest, will be a delight to My eyes, whatever you do. At that moment I felt transconsecrated. My earthly body was the same, but my soul was different; God was now living in it with the totality of His delight. This is not a feeling, but a conscious reality that nothing can obscure. |
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138 |
A great mystery has been accomplished
between God and me. Courage and strength have remained in my soul. When the
time of adoration came to an end, I came out and calmly faced everything I
had feared so much before. When I came out into the corridor, a great
suffering and humiliation, at the hands of a certain person, was awaiting me.
I accepted it with submission to a higher will and snuggled closely to the
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, letting Him know that I was ready for that for
which I had offered myself. |
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139 |
Still, a soul which is
faithful to God cannot confirm its own inspirations; it must submit them to
the control of a very wise and learned priest; and until it is quite certain,
it should remain distrustful. It should not, on its own initiative alone, put
its trust in these inspirations and all other higher graces, because it can
thus expose itself to great losses. |
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140 |
Pure love is capable of great
deeds, and it is not broken by difficulty or adversity. As it remains strong
in the midst of great difficulties, so too it perseveres in the toilsome and
drab life of each day. It knows that only one thing is needed to please God:
to do even the smallest things out of great love-love, and always love. |
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141 |
+But my torments are coming to an end. The Lord is giving me the promised help. I can see it in two priests; namely, Father Andrasz and Father Sopocko. During the retreat before my perpetual vows, [44] I was set completely at peace for the first time [by Father Andrasz [45] ], and afterwards I was led in the same direction by Father Sopocko. This was the fulfilment of the Lord's promise. |
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142 |
When I was set at peace and taught how to follow God's paths, my spirit rejoiced in the Lord, and it seemed to me that I was running, not walking. My wings were spread for flight; I soared into the very heat of the sun, and I will not descend until I rest in Him, in whom my soul has lost itself forever. And I subjected myself totally to the action of grace. God stoops very low to my soul. I do not draw back, nor do I resist Him, but I lose myself in Him as my only treasure. I am one with the Lord. It is as if the gulf between us, Creator and creature, disappears. For a few days, my soul was in a state of continuous ecstasy. God's presence did not leave me for a single moment. And my soul remained in a continuous loving union with the Lord. But this in no way interfered with the performance of my duties. I felt I was transformed into love; I was all afire, but without being burned up. I lost myself in God unceasingly; God drew me to himself so strongly and powerfully that sometimes I was not aware of being on earth. I had impeded and feared God's grace for so long, and now God himself, through Father Andrasz, has removed all difficulties. My spirit has been turned towards the Sun and has blossomed in His rays for Him alone; I understand no more... [The sentence breaks off here and begins a completely new thought in the next line.] |
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143 |
+I have wasted many of God's graces because I was always afraid of being deluded. God drew me to himself so powerfully that often it was not in my power to resist his grace when I was suddenly immersed in him. At these moments, Jesus filled me with such great peace that, later on, even when I tried to become uneasy, I could not do so. And then, I heard these words in my soul: In order that you may be assured that it is I who am demanding all these things of you, I will give you such profound peace that even if you wanted to feel troubled and frightened, it would not be in your power to do so today, but love will flood your soul to the point of self-oblivion. |
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144 |
Later Jesus gave me another priest [Father Sopocko], before whom He ordered me to reveal my soul. At first I did so with a bit of hesitation, but a severe reprimand from Jesus brought about a deep humility within my soul. Under his direction, my soul made quick progress in the love of God, and many wishes of the Lord were carried out externally. [46] Many a time have I been astounded at his courage and his profound humility. |
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145 |
Oh, how wretched my soul is
for having wasted so many graces! I was running away from God, and He pursued
me with his graces. I most often experienced God's graces when I least
expected them. From the moment He gave me a spiritual director, I have been
more faithful to grace. Thanks to the director and his watchfulness over my
soul, I have learned what guidance means and how Jesus looks at it. Jesus
warned me of the least fault and stressed that He himself judges the matter
that I present to my confessor; and [He told me] that ... any
transgressions against the confessor touch Me myself. |
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146 |
Prayer.-A soul arms itself by prayer for all kinds of combat. In whatever state the soul may be, it ought to pray. A soul which is pure and beautiful must pray, or else it will lose its beauty; a soul which is striving after this purity must pray, or else it will never attain it; a soul which is newly converted must pray, or else it will fall again; a sinful soul, plunged in sins, must pray so that it might rise again. There is no soul which is not bound to pray, for every single grace comes to the soul through prayer. |
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147 |
I recall that I have received most light during adoration which I made lying prostrate before the Blessed Sacrament for half an hour every day throughout Lent. During that time I came to know myself and God more profoundly. And yet, even though I had the superiors' permission to do so, I encountered many obstacles to praying in such a way. Let the soul be aware that, in order to pray and persevere in prayer, one must arm oneself with patience and cope bravely with exterior and interior difficulties. The interior difficulties are discouragement, dryness, heaviness of spirit and temptations. The exterior difficulties are human respect and time; one must observe the time set apart for prayer. This has been my personal experience because, when I did not pray at the time assigned for prayer, later on I could not do it because of my duties; or if I did manage to do so, this was only with great difficulty, because my thoughts kept wandering off to my duties. I also experienced this difficulty: when a soul has prayed well and left prayer in a state of profound interior recollection, others resist its recollection; and so, the soul must be patient to persevere in prayer. It often happened to me that when my soul was more deeply immersed in God, and I had derived greater fruit from prayer, and God's presence accompanied me during the day, and at work there was more recollection and greater precision and effort at my duty, this was precisely when I received the most rebukes for being negligent in my duty and indifferent to everything; because less recollected souls want others to be like them, for they are a constant [source of] remorse to them. |
|
148 |
+A noble and delicate soul, even the most simple, but one of delicate sensibilities, sees God in everything, finds Him everywhere, and knows how to find Him in even the most hidden things. It finds all things important, it highly appreciates all things, it thanks God for all things, it draws profit for the soul from all things, and it gives all glory to God. It places its trust in God and is not confused when the time of ordeals comes. It knows that God is always the best of Fathers and makes little of human opinion. It follows faithfully the faintest breath of the Holy Spirit; it rejoices in this Spiritual Guest and holds onto Him like a child to its mother. Where other souls come to a standstill and fear, this soul passes on without fear or difficulty. |
|
149 |
When the Lord himself wants
to be close to a soul and to lead it, He will remove everything that is
external. When I fell ill and was taken to the infirmary, I suffered much
unpleasantness because of this. There were two of us sick in the infirmary.
Sisters would come to see Sister N., but no one came to visit me. It is true
that there was only one infirmary, but each one had her own cell. The winter
nights were long, and Sister N. had the light and the radio headphones, while
I could not even prepare my meditation for lack of a light. |
|
150 |
+I want to write down a dream
that I had about Saint Therese of the Child Jesus. I was still a novice at
the time and was going through some difficulties which I did not know how to
overcome. They were interior difficulties connected with exterior ones. I
made novenas to various saints, but the situation grew more and more
difficult. The sufferings it caused me were so great that I did not know how
to go on living, but suddenly the thought occurred to me that I should pray
to Saint Therese of the Child Jesus. I started a novena to this Saint,
because before entering the convent I had had a great devotion to her. Lately
I had somewhat neglected this devotion, but in my need I began again to pray
with great fervor. |
Notebook I 1-50 51-100 101-150 151-200 201-250 251-300 301-350 351-400 401-450 451-500 501-521
Notebook II
522-600 601-650 651-700 701-750 751-800 801-850 851-900 901-950 951-1000
Notebook III 1001-1050 1051-1100 1101-1150 1151-1200 1201-1230
Notebook V
1322-1400 1401-1450 1451-1500 1501-1550 1551-1589
Notebook VI 1590-1650 1651-1700 1701-1750 1751-1803
Preparation for Holy Communion 1804-1828
Diary, St. Maria
Faustina Kowalska, Divine Mercy In My Soul
(c) Congregation of Marians of the Immaculate
Conception, Stockbridge, MA 01263.
>>DIVINE MERCY APOSTOLATE .... Diary .... A. Diary .... BM. Diary (part) . footnotes
>FFC >Youth >MASS >BIBLE >Catechism >Sacrament
>Saints >St Peters Church
MHII 120613