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Audio Diary – Divine Mercy in My Soul

Book I ( CD 9 of 9: 504-521 )

#	NOTEBOOK 1, CD 9	Minutes
1	Entries 504 – 508	07:04
2	Entries 509 – 521	06:48
3	Song – Mary Said Yes	04:03
4	Chaplet of Divine Mercy 1 (Trad. Ver.)	23:59

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504	Not to do anything without the permission of my confessor and the consent of my superiors in all things, but especially regarding these inspirations and demands of the Lord. All my free time I will spend with the Divine Guest within my soul; I will safeguard my interior and exterior silence so that Jesus can rest in my heart. My sweetest repose will be in serving and obliging the sisters, in forgetting about myself and thinking of how to please the sisters. I will not offer explanations on my own behalf or seek to vindicate myself when criticized; I will let others judge me as they will. I have only one trusted Friend in whom I confide everything, and that is Jesus-the Eucharist, and His . representative-my confessor. In the midst of all sufferings, both physical and spiritual, as well as in darkness and desolation, I will remain silent, like a dove, and not complain. I will empty myself continually at His feet in order to obtain mercy for poor souls. J.M.J. Cracow, October 27, 1935. Father Andrasz-Spiritual Counsel.
505	All my nothingness is drowned in the sea of Your mercy. With the confidence of a child, I throw myself into Your arms, O Father of Mercy, to make up for the unbelief of so many souls who are afraid to trust in You. Oh, how very few souls really know You! How ardently I desire that the Feast of Mercy be known by souls! Mercy is the crown of Your works; You provide for all with the love of a most tender mother.
506	506 "Do nothing without the consent of the superiors. One must think this matter over thoroughly and pray much. One must be very careful about these things because, in your present situation, Sister, the will of God is certain and clear, for you are in fact bound to this Congregation by vows, and perpetual vows at that; so there should be no doubt. What you are experiencing interiorly, Sister, are only the glimmerings of a project. God can make some alterations, but such things are very rare. Don't be in a hurry, Sister, until you have received more precise knowledge. The works of God proceed slowly, but if they are of Him, you will surely recognize them clearly. If they are not, they will disappear; and you, by being obedient, will not go astray. Speak frankly about everything to your confessor and obey him blindly. "For the present, Sister, there is nothing more for you to do than accept the suffering until the time when everything will become clear; that is, all things will be resolved. You are well disposed as regards these matters, and so continue in this simplicity and spirit of obedience; this is a good sign. If you continue in this attitude, God will not allow you to fall into error. Still, as much as is possible, keep far away from these things, but if despite that they still come your way, receive them calmly and do not fear anything. You are in the good hands of a very good God. In all that you have told me, I do not see any illusion or anything contrary to faith. These are things which are good in themselves, and it would indeed be good if there were a group of souls pleading with God for the world, as we all are in need of prayer. You have a good director; stay with him and be at peace. Be faithful to God's will and carry it out. As to your duties, always do what you are told to do and as you are told to do it, no matter how humiliating or toilsome it might be. Always choose the last place, and then they themselves will say to you, `Go up higher.' In spirit and in your demeanor, consider yourself the least in the whole house and in the entire Congregation. In everything and at all times, be most faithful to God."
507	I desire, O my Jesus, to suffer and burn with the flame of Your love in all the circumstances of my life. I am Yours, completely Yours, and I wish to disappear in You, O Jesus, I wish to be lost in Your divine beauty. You pursue me with Your love, O Lord; You penetrate my soul like a ray of the sun and change its darkness into Your light. I feel very vividly that I am living in You as one small spark swallowed up by the incomprehensible fire with which You burn, O inconceivable Trinity! No greater joy is to be found than that of loving God. Already here on earth we can taste the happiness of those in heaven by an intimate union with God, a union that is extraordinary and often quite incomprehensible to us. One can attain this very grace through simple faithfulness of soul.
508	When a reluctance and a monotony as regards my duties begins to take possession of me, I remind myself that I am in the house of the Lord, where nothing is small and where the glory of the Church and the progress of many a soul depend on this small deed of mine, accomplished in a divinized way. Therefore there is nothing small in a religious congregation.
509	In the adversities that I experience, I remind myself that the time for doing battle has not yet come to an end. I arm myself with patience, and in this way I defeat my assailant.
510	In no way do I seek perfection inquisitively, but I probe into the spirit of Jesus and fix my eyes on His deeds as summarized in the Gospel. Even if I lived a thousand years, I would not exhaust what is contained there.
511	When my intentions are not recognized, but rather condemned, I am not too much surprised, for I know that it is only God who scrutinizes my heart. Truth will not die; the wounded heart will regain peace in due time, and my spirit is strengthened through adversities. I do not always listen to what my heart tells me, but I keep asking God for light; and when I feel l have regained my equilibrium, then I say more.
512	The day of the renewal of vows. The presence of God flooded my soul. During Holy Mass I saw Jesus, and He said to me, You are my great joy; your love and your humility make Me leave the heavenly throne and unite myself with you. Love fills up the abyss that exists between My greatness and your nothingness.
513	Love is flooding my soul; I am plunged into an ocean of love. I feel that I am swooning and becoming completely lost in Him.
514	Jesus, make my heart like unto Yours, or rather transform it into Your own Heart that I may sense the needs of other hearts, especially those who are sad and suffering. May the rays of mercy rest in my heart.
515	In the evening, when I was walking in the garden saying my rosary and came to the cemetery, [102] I opened the gate a little and began to pray for a while, and I asked them interiorly, "You are very happy are you not?" Then I heard the words, "We are happy in the measure that we have fulfilled God's will"-and then silence as before. I became introspective and reflected for a long time on how I am fulfilling God's will and how I am profiting from the time that God has given me.
516	On the evening of that same day, when I had already gone to bed, a certain soul came to me, woke me up by tapping on the night table and asked me to pray for her. I wanted to ask who she was, but I mortified my curiosity and joined this little mortification to my prayer and offered them for her.
517	Once, when visiting a sick sister [103] who was eighty-four and known for many virtues, I asked her, "Sister, you are surely ready to stand before the Lord, are you not?" She answered, "I have been preparing myself all my life long for this last hour." And then she added, "Old age does not dispense one from the combat."
518	+ Before All Souls' Day, I went to the cemetery at dusk. Although it was locked, I managed to open the gate a bit and said, "If you need something, my dear little souls, I will be glad to help you to the extent that the rule permits me." I then heard these words, "Do the will of God; we are happy in the measure that we have fulfilled God's will."
519	In the evening, these souls came and asked me to pray for them, and I did pray very much for them. In the evening, when the procession was returning from the cemetery, I saw a great multitude of souls walking with us into the chapel and praying with us. I prayed a good deal, for I had my superiors' permission [104] to do so.
520	During the night, a soul I had already seen before visited me. However, it did not ask for prayer, but reproached me, saying that I used to be very haughty and vain... "and now you are interceding for others while you yourself still have certain vices." I answered that I indeed had been vain and haughty, but that I had confessed this and had done penance for my stupidity, and that I trusted in the goodness of my God, and that if I still fell occasionally, this was indeliberate and never premeditated, even in the smallest things. Still, the soul continued to reproach me, saying, "Why are you unwilling to recognize my greatness? Why do you alone not glorify me for my great deeds as all others do?" Then I saw that this was Satan under the assumed appearance of this soul and I said, "Glory is due to God alone; begone Satan!" And in an instant this soul fell into an abyss, horrible beyond all description. And I said to the wretched soul that I would tell the whole Church about this.
521	On Saturday we left Cracow and returned to Vilnius. On the way we visited Czestochowa. When I was praying before the miraculous picture, I felt that ... are pleasing ... [unfinished thought]. [End of Notebook I]

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