>>DIVINE
MERCY
APOSTOLATE .... Diary A. Diary
Notebook I
Notebook II Notebook III Notebook IV Notebook V Notebook VI Prepare
for H Communion
Audio Diary Divine Mercy in My Soul
Book I ( CD 8 of 9:
(420-503) )
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NOTEBOOK 1, CD
8 |
Minutes |
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1 |
Entries 420 428 |
10:42 |
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2 |
Entries 429 439 |
12:17 |
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3 |
Entries 440 449 |
11:34 |
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4 |
Entries 450 460 |
08:13 |
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5 |
Entries 461 472 |
09:07 |
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6 |
Entries 473 480 |
09:32 |
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7 |
Entries 481 490 |
08:14 |
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8 |
Entries 491 503 |
09:25 |
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420 |
Low Sunday; that is, the Feast of The Divine
Mercy, the conclusion of the Jubilee of Redemption. When we went to take part
in the celebrations, my heart leapt with joy that the two solemnities were so
closely united. I asked God for mercy on the souls of sinners. Toward the end
of the service, when the priest took the Blessed Sacrament to bless the
people, I saw the Lord Jesus as He is represented in the image. The Lord gave
His blessing, and the rays extended over the whole world. Suddenly, I saw an
impenetrable brightness in the form of a crystal dwelling place, woven
together from waves of a brilliance unapproachable
to both creatures and spirits. Three doors led to this resplendence. At that
moment, Jesus, as He is represented in the image, entered this resplendence
through the second door to the Unity within. It is a triple Unity, which is
incomprehensible-which is infinity. I heard a voice, This Feast emerged from
the very depths of My mercy, and it is confirmed in the vast depths of My
tender mercies. Every soul believing and trusting in My mercy will obtain it.
I was overjoyed at the immense goodness and greatness of my God. |
|
421 |
On the eve of the exposition of the image, I went
with our Mother Superior to visit our confessor [Father Sopocko].
When the conversation touched upon the image, the confessor asked for one of
the sisters to help make some wreaths. Mother Superior replied, "Sister Faustina will help." I was delighted at this, and
when we returned home, I immediately set about preparing some greens, and
with the help of one of our wards brought them over. Another person, who
works at the church, also helped. Everything was ready by seven o'clock that
evening, and the image was already hanging in its place. However, some ladies
saw me standing around there, for I was more a bother than a help, and on the
next day they asked the sisters what this beautiful image was and what was its significance. Surely these sisters would know,
[they thought] as one of them had helped adorn it the day before. The sisters
were very surprised as they knew nothing about it; they all wanted to see it
and immediately they began to suspect me. They said, "Sister Faustina must certainly know all about it." |
|
422 |
Seeing Father Sopocko's
sacrifice and efforts for this work, I admired his patience and humility.
This all cost a great deal, not only in terms of toil and various troubles, but
also of money; and Father Sopocko was taking care
of all the expenses. I can see that Divine Providence had prepared him to
carry out this work of mercy before I had asked God for this. Oh, how strange
are Your ways, O God! And how happy are the souls that follow the call of
divine grace! |
|
423 |
Praise the Lord, my soul, for everything, and
glorify His mercy, for His goodness is without end. Everything will pass, but
His mercy is without limit or end. And although evil will attain its measure,
in mercy there is no measure. |
|
424 |
In the evening, I just about got into bed, and I
fell asleep immediately. Though I fell asleep quickly, I was awakened even
more quickly. A little child came and woke me up. The child seemed about a
year old, and I was surprised it could speak so well, as children of that age
either do not speak or speak very indistinctly The child was beautiful beyond
words and resembled the Child Jesus, and he said to me, Look at the sky.
And when I looked at the sky I saw the stars and the moon shining. Then the
child asked me,Do
you see this moon and these stars? When I said yes, he spoke these words
to me, These stars are the souls of faithful Christians, and the moon is
the souls of religious. Do you see how great the difference is between the
light of the moon and the light of the stars? Such is the difference in
heaven between the soul of a religious and the soul of a faithful Christian.
And he went on to say that, True greatness is in loving God and in
humility. |
|
425 |
Then I saw a soul which was being separated from its
body amid great torment. O Jesus, as I am about to write this, I tremble at
the sight of the horrible things that bear witness against him.... I saw the
souls of little children and those of older ones, about nine years of age,
emerging from some kind of a muddy abyss. The souls were foul and disgusting,
resembling the most terrible monsters and decaying corpses. But the corpses
were living and gave loud testimony against the dying soul. And the soul I
saw dying was a soul full of the world's applause and honors, the end of
which are emptiness and sin. Finally a woman came out who was holding
something like tears in her apron, and she witnessed very strongly against
him. |
|
426 |
O terrible hour, at which one is obliged to see all
one's deeds in their nakedness and misery; not one of them is lost, they will
all accompany us to God's judgment. I can find no words or comparisons to
express such terrible things. And although it seems to me that this soul is
not damned, nevertheless its torments are in no way different from the
torments of hell; there is only this difference: that they will someday come
to an end. |
|
427 |
A moment later, I again saw the child who had
awakened me. It was of wondrous beauty and repeated these words to me, True greatness of the soul is in loving God and in
humility. I asked the child, "How do you know that true greatness of
the soul is in loving God and in humility? Only theologians know about such
things and you haven't even learned the catechism. So how do you know?"
To this he answered, I know; I know all things. And with that, He
disappeared. |
|
428 |
But I could no longer get to sleep; my mind became
exhausted by thinking about the things I had seen. O human souls, how late
you learn the truth! O abyss of God's mercy, pour yourself out as quickly as
possible over the whole world, according to what You yourself have said. |
|
429 |
When I became aware of God's great plans for me, I
was frightened at their greatness and felt myself quite incapable of
fulfilling them, and I began to avoid interior conversations with Him,
filling up the time with vocal prayer. I did this out of humility, but I soon
recognized it was not true humility, but rather a great temptation from the
devil. When, on one occasion, instead of interior prayer, I took up a book of
spiritual reading, I heard these words spoken distinctly and forcefully
within my soul, You will prepare the world for My final coming. These
words moved me deeply, and although I pretended not to hear them, 1
understood them very well and had no doubt about them. Once, being tired out
from this battle of love with God, and making constant excuses on the grounds
that I was unable to carry out this task, I wanted to leave the chapel, but
some force held me back and I found myself powerless. Then I heard these
words, You intend to leave the chapel, but you shall not get away from Me,
for I am everywhere. You cannot do anything of yourself, but with me you can
do all things. |
|
430 |
When, in the the course
of the week, I went to see my confessor [Father Sopocko],
and revealed the condition of my soul to him, especially the fact that I was
avoiding interior conversation with God, I was told that I must not shrink
from interior conversation with God, but should listen intently to the words
He speaks to me. |
|
431 |
I followed my confessor's advice, and at the first
meeting with the Lord, I fell at Jesus' feet and, with a grief stricken
heart, apologized for everything. Then Jesus lifted me up from the ground and
sat me beside Him and let me put my head on His breast, so that I could
better understand and feel the desires of His most sweet Heart. Then He spoke
these words to me, My daughter, have fear of nothing; I am always with
you. All your adversaries will harm you only to the degree that I permit them
to do so. You are my dwelling place and my constant repose. For your sake I
will withhold the hand which punishes; for your sake I bless the earth. |
|
432 |
At that very moment, I felt some kind of fire in
my heart. I feel my senses deadening and have no idea of what is going on
around me. I feel the Lord's gaze piercing me through and through. I am very much
aware of His greatness and my misery. An extraordinary suffering pervades my
soul, together with a joy I cannot compare to anything. I feel powerless in
the embrace of God. I feel that I am in Him and that I am dissolved in Him
like a drop of water in the ocean. I cannot express what takes place within
me; after such interior prayer, I feel strength and power to practice the
most difficult virtues. I feel dislike for all things that the world holds in
esteem. With all my soul I desire silence and solitude. |
|
433 |
May, 1935. During Forty Hours' Devotion I saw the
face of the Lord Jesus in the Sacred Host which was exposed in the
monstrance. Jesus was looking with kindness at everyone. |
|
434 |
I often see the Child Jesus during Holy Mass. He
is extremely beautiful. He appears to be about one year old. Once, when I saw
the same Child during Mass in our chapel, I was seized with a violent desire
and an irresistible longing to approach the altar and take the Child Jesus.
At that moment, the Child Jesus was standing by me on the side of my kneeler,
and He leaned with His two little hands against my shoulder, gracious and
joyful, His look deep and penetrating. But when the priest broke the Host,
Jesus was once again on the altar, and was broken and consumed by the priest. |
|
435 |
As I was walking in the garden in the evening, I
heard these words: By your entreaties, you and your companions shall
obtain mercy for yourselves and for the world. I understood that I would
not remain in the Congregation in which I am at the present time. [95]
I saw clearly that God's will regarding me was otherwise. But 1 kept making
excuses before God, telling Him that I was unable to carry out this task.
"Jesus, You know very well what I am" [I said], and I started
enumerating my weaknesses to the Lord, hiding behind them so that He would
agree that I was unable to carry out His plans. Then I heard these words:
Do not fear; I myself will make up for everything that is lacking in you.
But these words penetrated me to my depths and made me even more aware of my
misery, and I understood that the word of the Lord is living and that it
penetrates to the very depths. I understood that God demands a more perfect
way of life of me. However, I kept using my incompetence as an excuse. |
|
436 |
June 29, 1935. When I talked to my spiritual
director [Father Sopocko] about various things that
the Lord was asking of me, I thought he would tell me that I was incapable of
accomplishing all those things, and that the Lord Jesus did not use miserable
souls like me for the works He wanted done. But I heard words [to the effect]
that it was just such souls that God chooses most frequently to carry out His
plans. This priest is surely guided by the Spirit of God; he has penetrated
the secrets of my soul, the deepest secrets which were between me and God,
about which I had not yet spoken to him, because I had not understood them
myself, and the Lord had not clearly ordered me to tell him. The secret is
this: God demands that there be a Congregation which will proclaim the mercy
of God to the world and, by its prayers, obtain it for the world. When the
priest asked me if I had not had any such inspirations, I replied that I had
not had any clear orders; but at that instant a light penetrated my soul, and
I understood that the Lord was speaking through him. |
|
437 |
In vain had I defended myself by saying I had not
received any clear orders, for at the end of our conversation I saw the Lord
Jesus on the threshold, as He is represented in the image, and He said to me,
I desire that there be such a Congregation. [96]
This lasted only a moment. Yet I did not tell him about it right away, as I was
in a hurry to get back home, and I kept repeating to the Lord, "I am
unable to carry out Your plans, O Lord!" But, strangely enough, Jesus
paid no attention to my appeals, but gave me to see and understand how
pleasing this work was to Him. He took no account of my weakness, but gave me
to know how many difficulties I must overcome. And I, His poor creature,
could say nothing but "I am incapable of it, O my God!" |
|
438 |
June 30, 1935. At the very beginning of Holy Mass
on the following day, I saw Jesus in all His unspeakable beauty. He said to
me that He desired that such a Congregation be founded as soon as
possible, and you shall live in it together with your companions. My Spirit
shall be the rule of your life. Your life is to be modeled on Mine, from the
crib to My death on the Cross. Penetrate My mysteries, and you will know the
abyss of My mercy towards creatures and My unfathomable goodness-and this you
shall make known to the world. Through your prayers, you shall mediate
between heaven and earth. |
|
439 |
Then came the moment to receive Holy Communion,
and Jesus disappeared, and I saw a great brightness. Then I heard these
words: We give Our blessing, and at that moment a bright ray issued from
that light and pierced my heart; an extraordinary fire was enkindled in my
soul-I thought I would die of joy and happiness. I felt the separation of my
spirit from my body. I felt totally immersed in God,
I felt I was snatched up by the Almighty, like a particle of dust, into
unknown expanses. |
|
440 |
O my Creator and Lord, my entire being is Yours!
Dispose of me according to Your divine pleasure and according to Your eternal
plans and Your unfathomable mercy. May every soul know how good the Lord is;
may no soul fear to commune intimately with the Lord; may no soul use
unworthiness as an excuse, and may it never postpone [accepting] God's
invitations, for that is not pleasing to the Lord. There is no soul more
wretched than I am, as I truly know myself, and I am astounded that divine
Majesty stoops so low. O eternity, it seems to me that you are too short to
extol [adequately] the infinite mercy of the Lord! |
|
441 |
Once, the image was being exhibited over the altar
during the Corpus Christi procession [June 20, 1935]. When the priest exposed
the Blessed Sacrament, and the choir began to sing, the rays from the image
pierced the Sacred Host and spread out all over the world. Then I heard these
words: These rays of mercy will pass through you, just as they have passed
through this Host, and they will go out through all the
world. At these words, profound joy invaded my soul. |
|
442 |
Once when my confessor [Father Sopocko]
was saying Mass, I saw, as usual, the Child Jesus on the altar, from the time
of the Offertory. However, a moment before the Elevation, the priest vanished
from my sight, and Jesus alone remained. When the moment of the Elevation
approached, Jesus took the Host and the chalice in His little hands and
raised them together, looking up to heaven, and a moment later I again saw my
confessor. I asked the Child Jesus where the priest had been during the time
I had not seen him. Jesus answered, In My Heart. But I could not
understand anything more of these words of Jesus. |
|
443 |
On one occasion I heard these words,
I desire that you live according to My will, in the most secret depths of
your soul. I reflected on these words, which spoke very much to my heart.
This was on the day of confessions for the community. When I went to
confession and had accused myself of my sins, the priest [Father Sopocko] repeated to me the same words that the Lord had
previously spoken. |
|
444 |
The priest spoke these profound words to me,
"There are three degrees in the accomplishment of God's will: in the
first, the soul carries out all rules and statutes pertaining to external
observance; in the second degree, the soul accepts interior inspirations and
carries them out faithfully; in the third degree, the soul, abandoned to the
will of God, allows Him to dispose of it freely, and God does with it as He
pleases, and it is a docile tool in His hands." And the priest said that
I was at the second degree in the accomplishment of God's will and that I had
not yet reached the third degree, but that I should strive to attain it.
These words pierced my soul. I see clearly that God often gives the priest
knowledge of what is going on in the depths of my soul. This does not
surprise me at all; indeed, I thank God that He has such chosen persons. |
|
445 |
When I came for adoration, an inner recollection
took hold of me immediately, and I saw the Lord Jesus tied to a pillar, stripped
of His clothes, and the scourging began immediately. I saw four men who took
turns at striking the Lord with scourges. My heart almost stopped at the
sight of these tortures. The Lord said to me, I suffer even greater pain
than that which you see. And Jesus gave me to know for what sins He
subjected himself to the scourging: these are sins of impurity. Oh, how
dreadful was Jesus' moral suffering during the scourging! Then Jesus said to
me, Look and see the human race in its present
condition. In an instant, I saw horrible things: the executioners left
Jesus, and other people started scourging Him; they seized the scourges and
struck the Lord mercilessly. These were priests, religious men and women; and
high dignitaries of the Church, which surprised me greatly. There were lay
people of all ages and walks of life. All vented their malice on the innocent
Jesus. Seeing this, my heart fell as if into a mortal agony. And while the
executioners had been scourging Him, Jesus had been silent and looking into
the distance; but when those other souls I mentioned scourged Him, Jesus
closed His eyes, and a soft, but most painful moan escaped from His Heart.
And Jesus gave me to know in detail the gravity of the malice of these
ungrateful souls: You see, this is a torture greater
than My death. Then my lips too fell silent, and I began to experience the
agony of death, and I felt that no one would comfort me or snatch me from
that state but the One who had put me into it. Then the Lord said to me, I
see the sincere pain of your heart which brought great solace to My Heart.
See and take comfort. |
|
446 |
Then I saw the Lord Jesus nailed to the cross.
When He had hung on it for a while, I saw a multitude of souls crucified like
Him. Then I saw a second multitude of souls, and a third. The second multitude were not nailed to [their] crosses, but were
holding them firmly in their hands. The third were neither nailed to [their]
crosses nor holding them firmly in their hands, but were dragging [their]
crosses behind them and were discontent. Jesus then said to me, Do you see
these souls? Those who are like Me in the pain and contempt they suffer will
be like Me also in glory. And those who resemble Me less in pain and contempt
will also bear less resemblance to Me in glory. |
|
447 |
Friday. I was ill and could not attend Holy Mass.
At seven o'clock in the morning I saw my confessor celebrating Holy Mass,
during which I saw the Child Jesus. Toward the end of Mass, the vision
disappeared, and I found myself back in my cell as before. Indescribable joy
took hold of me because, although I could not go to Mass in our own chapel, I
had assisted at it in a church which was far distant. Jesus has a remedy for
everything. |
|
448 |
Feast of St. Ignatius. I prayed fervently to this
Saint, reproaching him for looking on and not coming to my aid in such
important matters as doing the will of God. I said to him, "You, our
Patron, who were inflamed with the fire of love and zeal for the greater
glory of God, I humbly beg you to help me to carry out God's designs. " [97]
This was during Holy Mass. Then I saw Saint Ignatius at the left side of the
altar, with a large book in his hand. And he spoke these words to me,
"My daughter, I am not indifferent to your cause. This rule can be
adapted, and it can be adapted to this Congregation." And gesturing with
his hand toward the big book, he disappeared. I rejoiced greatly at the fact
of how much the saints think of us and of how
closely we are united with them. Oh, the goodness of God! How beautiful is
the spiritual world, that already here on earth we commune with the saints!
All day long, I could feel the presence of this dear Patron Saint. |
|
449 |
I prepared for this feast with greater zeal than
in previous years. On the morning of the feast itself, I experienced an inner
struggle at the thought that I must leave this Congregation which enjoys such
special protection from Mary. This struggle lasted through the meditation and
through the first Mass as well. During the second Mass, I turned to our Holy
Mother, telling Her that it was difficult for me to separate myself from this
Congregation... "which is under Your special
protection, O Mary." Then I saw the Blessed Virgin, unspeakably
beautiful. She came down from the altar to my kneeler, held me close to
herself and said to me, I am Mother to you all, thanks to the unfathomable
mercy of God. Most pleasing to Me is that soul which faithfully carries out
the will of God. She gave me to understand that I had faithfully fulfilled
the will of God and had thus found favor in His eyes. Be courageous. Do
not fear apparent obstacles, but fix your gaze upon the Passion of My Son,
and in this way you will be victorious. |
|
450 |
I was suffering very much, and it seemed to me I
would not be able to make my adoration, but I gathered up all my will power
and, although I collapsed in my cell, I paid no attention to what ailed me,
for I had the Passion of Jesus before my eyes. When I entered the chapel, I
received an inner understanding of the great reward that God is preparing for
us, not only for our good deeds, but also for our sincere desire to perform
them. What a great grace of God this is! |
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|
451 |
Once after Holy Communion, I heard these words: You
are Our dwelling place. At that moment, I felt in my soul the presence of
the Holy Trinity, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. I felt that I was
the temple of God. I felt I was a child of the Father. I cannot explain all
this, but the spirit understands it well. O infinite Goodness, how low You
stoop to Your miserable creature! |
|
452 |
If only souls would become recollected, God would
speak to them at once, for dissipation drowns out the word of the Lord. |
|
453 |
On one occasion, the Lord said to me, Why are you
fearful and why do you tremble when you are united to Me? I am displeased
when a soul yields to vain terror. Who will dare to touch you when you are
with Me? Most dear to Me is the soul that strongly believes in My goodness
and has complete trust in Me. I heap My confidence upon it and give it all it
asks. |
|
454 |
Once, the Lord said to me, My daughter, take
the graces that others spurn; take as many as you can carry. At that
moment, my soul was inundated with the love of God. I feel that I am united with
the Lord so closely that I cannot find words to express that union; in this
state I suddenly feel that all the things God has, all the goods and
treasures, are mine, although I set little store by them, for He alone is
enough for me. In Him I see my everything; without
Him-nothing. |
|
455 |
When some suffering afflicts me, it no longer
causes me any bitterness, nor do great consolations carry me away, I am filled
with the peace and equanimity that flow from the knowledge of the truth. |
|
456 |
On the evening of the introductory day of the
retreat, as I listened to the points for the meditation, I heard these words:
During this retreat I will speak to you through the mouth of this priest
to strengthen you and assure you of the truth of the words which I address to
you in the depths of your soul. Although this is a retreat for all the
sisters, I have you especially in mind, as I want to strengthen you and make
you fearless in the midst of all the adversities which lie ahead. Therefore,
listen intently to his words and meditate upon them in the depths of your
soul. |
|
457 |
Oh, how astonished I was, for everything the
Father said about union with God and the obstacles to this union I had
experienced literally in my soul and heard from Jesus, who speaks to me in
the depths of my soul. Perfection consists in this close union with God. |
|
458 |
During the ten-o'clock meditation, Father [Rzyczkowski [98]
] spoke about divine mercy and about God's goodness to us. He said that as we
review the history of mankind, we can see this great goodness of God at every
step. All the attributes of God, such as omnipotence and wisdom, serve to
reveal to us the greatest of His attributes; namely, His goodness. God's
goodness is the greatest of God's attributes. Many souls striving for
perfection, however, are not aware of this great goodness of God. Everything
that Father said in the course of the meditation about the goodness of God, was exactly what Jesus had said to me concerning (the
Feast of Mercy. I have now come to understand clearly what the Lord has
promised me, and I have no doubt about anything; God's language is clear and
distinct. |
|
459 |
Throughout that entire meditation I saw the Lord Jesus
on the altar, in a white garment, His hand holding the notebook in which I
write these things. Throughout the entire meditation Jesus kept turning the
pages of the notebook and remained silent; however, my heart could not bear
the fire that was enkindled in my soul. Despite the great effort of my will
to take control of myself and not let others see what was going on in my
soul, toward the end of the meditation I felt that I was completely beyond my
own control. Then Jesus said to me, You have not written everything in the
notebook about My goodness towards humankind; I desire that you omit nothing;
I desire that your heart be firmly grounded in total peace. |
|
460 |
O Jesus, my heart stops beating when I think of
all You are doing for me! I am amazed at You, Lord, that
Yon would stoop so low to my wretched soul! What inconceivable means You take
to convince me! |
|
461 |
This is the first time in my life that I have made
such a retreat. I understand in a special and clear way every single word
that Father speaks, for I have first experienced it all in my soul. I now see
that Jesus will not leave in doubt any soul that loves Him sincerely. Jesus
wants the soul that is in close communion with Him to be filled with peace,
despite sufferings and adversities. |
|
462 |
Now I understand well that what unites our soul
most closely to God is self-denial; that is, joining our will to the will of
God. This is what makes the soul truly free, contributes to profound recollection
of the spirit, and makes all life's burdens light,
and death sweet. |
|
463 |
Jesus told me that if I should have any doubts
regarding the feast or the founding of the Congregation,-
or regarding anything else about which I have spoken in the depths of your
soul, I will reply immediately through the mouth of this priest. |
|
464 |
During a meditation on humility, an old doubt
returned: that a soul as miserable as mine could not carry out the task which
the Lord was demanding [of me]. Just as I was analyzing this doubt, the
priest who was conducting the retreat interrupted his train of thought and
spoke about the very thing I was having doubts about; namely, that God
usually chooses the weakest and simplest souls as tools for His greatest
works; that we can see that this is an undeniable truth when we look at the
men He chose to be His apostles; or again, when we look at the history of the
Church and see what great works were done by souls that were the least
capable of accomplishing them; for it is just in this way that God's works
are revealed for what they are, the works of God. When my doubt had
completely disappeared, the priest resumed his conference on humility. |
|
465 |
Jesus, my Life, how well I feel that You are
transforming me into Yourself, in the secrecy of my soul where the senses can
no longer perceive much. O my Savior, conceal me completely in the depths of
Your Heart and shield me with Your rays against everything that is not You. I
beg You, Jesus, let the two rays that have issued from Your most merciful
Heart continuously nourish my soul. |
|
466 |
Time of Confession. |
|
467 |
Throughout the whole retreat, I was in
uninterrupted communion with Jesus and entered into an intimate relationship
with Him with all the might of my heart. |
|
468 |
The day of the renewal of vows. At the beginning
of Holy Mass, I saw Jesus in the usual way. He blessed us and then entered
the tabernacle. Then I saw the Mother of God in a white garment and blue
mantle, with Her head uncovered. She approached me from the altar, touched me
with Her hands and covered me with Her mantle, saying, Offer these vows
for Poland. Pray for her. This was on August fifteen. |
|
469 |
On the evening of that same day, I felt in my soul
a great yearning for God. I do not see Him at this moment with my bodily eyes
as I have on other occasions, but I sense His presence and yet do not grasp Him
[with my mind J. This causes me great yearning and torment beyond words. I am
dying from the desire to possess Him, to be drowned in Him forever. My spirit
pursues Him with all its might; there is nothing in the world that could
comfort me. O Love Eternal, now I understand in what close intimacy my heart
was with You! For what else can satisfy me in heaven or on earth except You,
O my God, in Whom my soul is drowned. |
|
470 |
One evening, as I looked up from my cell to the
sky and saw the beautiful star-strewn firmament and the moon, an
inconceivable fire of love for my Creator welled up within my soul and,
unable to bear the yearning for Him that arose within my soul, I fell on my
face, humbling myself in the dust. I glorified Him for all His works and,
when my heart could no longer bear what was going on within it, I wept aloud.
Then my Guardian Angel touched me and spoke to me these words: "The Lord
orders me to tell you to rise from the ground." I did so immediately,
but felt no consolation in my soul. The yearning for God grew even stronger
in me. |
|
471 |
One day, when I was at adoration, and my spirit
seemed to be dying for Him, and I could no longer hold back my tears, I saw a
spirit of great beauty who spoke these words to me: "Don't cry-says the Lord."
After a moment I asked, "Who are you?" He answered me, "I am
one of the seven spirits who stand before the throne of God day and night and
give Him ceaseless praise." Yet this spirit did not soothe my yearning,
but roused me to even greater longing for God. This spirit is very beautiful,
and his beauty comes from close union with God. This spirit does not leave me
for a single moment, but accompanies me everywhere. |
|
472 |
I knew, more distinctly than ever before, the
Three Divine Persons, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. But their
being, their equality and their majesty are one. My soul is in communion with
these Three; but I do not know how to express this in words; yet my soul
understands it well. Whoever is united to One of the Three Persons is thereby
united to the whole Blessed Trinity, for this Oneness is indivisible. This
vision, or rather, this knowledge filled my soul with unimaginable happiness,
because God is so great. What I am describing I did not see with my eyes, as
on previous occasions, but in a purely interior manner, in a purely spiritual
way, independent of the senses. This continued until the end of Holy Mass. |
|
473 |
When our confessor [Father Sopocko]
was away, I confessed to the Archbishop [Romuald Jalbrzykowski [99]
]. When I revealed my soul to him, I received this reply: "My daughter,
arm yourself with great patience; if these things come
from God, they will be realized sooner or later. So be completely at peace. I
understand you very well in this matter, my daughter. And now, as regards your leaving the Congregation and thinking of another one,
do not entertain such thoughts, for this would be a serious interior
temptation." After this confession, I said to the Lord Jesus, "Why
do Yon command me to do such things and yet do not make it possible to
accomplish them?" Then I saw the Lord Jesus after Holy Communion in the same
little chapel where I had gone to confession, in the same way in which He is
represented in the image. The Lord said to me, Do not be sad. I will give
him to understand the things I am asking of you. When we were leaving,
the Archbishop was very busy, but he told us to return and wait a bit. When
we entered the chapel again, I heard these words in my soul: Tell him what
you have seen in this chapel. At that very moment the Archbishop came in
and asked if we did not have something to tell him. But although I had been
commanded to tell him, I could not do so because I was in the company of one
of the sisters. |
|
474 |
In the evening, when I was in my cell, I saw an
Angel, the executor of divine wrath. He was clothed in a dazzling robe, his
face gloriously bright, a cloud beneath his feet.
From the cloud, bolts of thunder and flashes of lightning were springing into
his hands; and from his hand they were going forth, and only then were they
striking the earth. When I saw this sign of divine wrath which was about to
strike the earth, and in particular a certain place, which for good reasons I
cannot name, I began to implore the Angel to hold off for a few moments, and
the world would do penance. But my plea was a mere nothing in the face of the
divine anger. Just then I saw the Most Holy Trinity. The greatness of Its
majesty pierced me deeply, and I did not dare to repeat my entreaties. At
that very moment I felt in my soul the power of Jesus' grace, which dwells in
my soul. When I became conscious of this grace, I was instantly snatched up
before the Throne of God. Oh, how great is our Lord and God and how
incomprehensible His holiness! I will make no attempt to describe this
greatness, because before long we shall all see Him as He is. I found myself
pleading with God for the world with words heard interiorly. |
|
475 |
The words with which I entreated God are these: Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and
Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ
for our sins and those of the whole world; for the sake of His sorrowful
Passion, have mercy on us. |
|
476 |
The next morning, when I entered chapel, I heard
these words interiorly: Every time you enter the chapel, immediately
recite the prayer which I taught you yesterday. When I had said the
prayer, in my soul I heard these words: This prayer will serve to appease
My wrath. You will recite it for nine days, on the beads of the rosary, in
the following manner: First of all, you will say one OUR FATHER and HAIL MARY
and the I BELIEVE IN GOD. Then on the OUR FATHER beads you will say the
following words: "Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul
and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement
for our sins and those of the whole world." On the HAIL MARY beads you
will say the following words: "For the sake of His sorrowful Passion have mercy on us and on the whole world." In
conclusion, three times you will recite these words: "Holy God, Holy
Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world."
[100] |
|
477 |
Silence is a sword in the spiritual struggle. A
talkative soul will never attain sanctity. The sword of silence will cut off
everything that would like to cling to the soul. We are sensitive to words
and quickly want to answer back, without taking any regard as to whether it
is God's will that we should speak. A silent soul 14 strong; no adversities
will harm it if it perseveres in silence. The silent soul is capable of
attaining the closest union with God. It lives almost always under the
inspiration of the Holy Spirit. God works in a silent soul without hindrance.
|
|
478 |
O my Jesus, You know, You alone know well that m heart knows no other love but You! All my virginal love
is drowned eternally in You, O Jesus! I sense keenly ho Your divine Blood is
circulating in my heart; I have no the least doubt that Your most pure love
has entered m heart with Your most sacred Blood. I
am aware did You are dwelling in me, together with the Father and the Holy
Spirit, or ratherIam aware that it is I who it
living in You, O incomprehensible God! I am aware that I am dissolving in You
like a drop in an ocean. I am aware that You are within me and all about me,
that You are in all things that surround me, in all that happens to me. O my
God, I have come to know You within my heart, and I have loved You above all
things that exist on earth or in heaven. Our hearts have a mutual
understanding, and no one of humankind will comprehend this. |
|
479 |
My second confession to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski]. "Know, my daughter, that if this is
the will of God, it will take place sooner or later, for God's will must be
done. Love God in your heart, have..." ( unfinished
thought]. |
|
480 |
September 29. The Feast of Saint Michael the
Archangel. I have become interiorly united with God. His presence penetrates
me to my very depths and fills me with peace, joy and amazement. After such
moments of prayer, I am filled with strength and an extraordinary courage to
stiffer and struggle. Nothing terrifies me, even if the whole world should
turn against me. All adversities touch only the surface, but they have no
entry to the depths, because God, who strengthens me, who fills me, dwells
there. All the snares of the enemy are crushed at His footstool. During these
moments of union, God sustains me with His might. His might passes on to me
and makes me capable of loving Him. A soul never reaches this state by its
own efforts. At the beginning of this interior grace, I was filled with
fright, and I started to give in to it; but very quickly, the Lord let me
know how much this displeases Him. But it is also He, Himself, who set my
fears at rest. |
|
481 |
Almost every feast of the Church gives me a deeper
knowledge of God and a special grace. That is why I prepare myself for each
feast and unite myself closely with the spirit of the Church. What a joy it
is to be a faithful child of the Church! Oh, how much I love Holy Church and
all those who live in it! I look upon them as living members of Christ, who
is their Head. I burn with love with those who love; I suffer with those who
suffer, I am consumed with sorrow at the sight of those who are cold and
ungrateful; and I then try to have such a love for God that it will make amends
for those who do not love Him, those who feed their Savior with ingratitude
at its worst. |
|
482 |
O my God, I am conscious of my mission in the Holy
Church. It is my constant endeavor to plead for me mercy for the world. I
unite myself closely with Jesus and stand before Him as an atoning sacrifice
on behalf of the world. God will refuse me nothing when I entreat Him with
the voice of His Son. My sacrifice is nothing in itself, but when I join it
to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, it becomes all-powerful and has the power
to appease divine wrath. God loves us in His Son; the painful Passion of the
Son of God constantly turns aside the wrath of God. |
|
483 |
O God, how I desire that souls come to know You and
to see that You have created them because of Your unfathomable love. O my
Creator and Lord, I feel that I am going to remove the veil of heaven so that
earth will not doubt Your goodness. |
|
484 |
On a certain occasion, I understood how very
displeased God is with an act, however commendable, that does not bear the
stamp of a pure intention. Such deeds incite God to punishment rather than to
reward. May such deeds be as few as possible in our lives; indeed, in
religious life, there should be none at all. |
|
485 |
I accept joy or suffering, praise or humiliation
with the same disposition. I remember that one and the other are passing.
What does it matter to me what people say about me? I have long ago given up
everything that concerns my person. My name is host-or sacrifice, not in
words but in deeds, in the emptying of myself and in becoming like You on the
Cross, O good Jesus, my Master! |
|
486 |
Jesus, when You come to me in Holy Communion, You
who together with the Father and the Holy Spirit have deigned to dwell in the
little heaven of my heart, I try to keep You company throughout the day, I do
not leave You alone for even a moment. Although I am in the company of other
people or with our wards, my heart is always united to Him. When I am asleep
I offer Him every beat of my heart; when I awaken I immerse myself in Him
without saying a word. When I awaken I adore the Holy Trinity for a short while
and thank God for having deigned to give me yet another day, that the mystery
of the incarnation of His Son may once more be repeated in me, and that once
again His sorrowful Passion may unfold before my eyes. I then try to make it
easier for Jesus to pass through me to other souls. I go everywhere with
Jesus; His presence accompanies me everywhere. |
|
487 |
In the sufferings of soul or body, I try to keep
silence, for then my spirit gains the strength that flows from the Passion of
Jesus. I have ever before my eyes His sorrowful Face, abused and disfigured,
His divine Heart pierced by our sins and especially by the ingratitude of
chosen souls. |
|
488 |
Twice I was exhorted to make myself ready for
sufferings awaiting me in Warsaw. The first warning was given interiorly by a
voice I heard, and the second took place during Holy Mass. Before the
elevation, I saw the Lord Jesus on the Cross and He said to me, Prepare yourself for sufferings. I thanked the Lord for the
grace of this warning and said to Him, "I am certainly not going t suffer more than You, my Savior." However, I took
this to heart and kept strengthening myself through prayer and little
sufferings so that I would be able to endure when the greater ones come. |
|
489 |
On Friday evening during the rosary, when I was
thinking about tomorrow's journey and about the importance of the matter
which I was to present to Father Andrasz, [101]
fear seized me at the sight of my misery and incapability, and of the
greatness of God work. Crushed by this suffering, I submitted myself to the
will of God. At that moment, I saw Jesus, in a bright garment, near my
kneeler. He said, Why are you afraid to do My
will? Will I not help you as I have done thus far? Repeat every one of My
demands to those who represent Me on earth, but do only what they tell you to
do. At that, a certain strength entered my soul. |
|
490 |
The next morning, I saw my Guardian Angel, who
accompanied me throughout the journey as far as Warsaw. He disappeared when
we entered the convent gate. Just as we were passing the little chapel on the
way to greet the superiors, God's presence took hold of me and the Lord
filled me with the fire of His love. At such moments, I always have a better
understanding of the greatness of His majesty. |
|
491 |
When I entered the chapel, once again the majesty
of God overwhelmed me. I felt that I was immersed in God, totally immersed in
Him and penetrated by Him, being aware of how much the heavenly Father loves
us. Oh, what great happiness fills my heart from knowing God and the divine
life! It is my desire to share this happiness with all people. I cannot keep
this happiness locked in my own heart alone, for His flames burn me and cause
my bosom and my entrails to burst asunder. I desire to go throughout the
whole world and speak to souls about the great mercy of God. Priests, help me
in this; use the strongest words [at your disposal] to proclaim His mercy,
for every word falls short of how merciful He really is. |
|
492 |
Eternal God, Goodness itself, whose mercy is
incomprehensible to every intellect, whether human or angelic, help me, your
feeble child, to do Your holy will as You make it known to me. I desire
nothing but to fulfill God's desires. Lord, here are my soul and my body, my
mind and my will, my heart and all my love. Rule me according to Your eternal
plans. |
|
493 |
After Holy Communion, my soul was again flooded
with God's love. I rejoiced in His greatness. Here I see distinctly His will,
which I am to carry out, and at the same time my own weakness and misery; I
see how I can do nothing without His help. |
|
494 |
When I was about to go to the parlor to see Father
Andrasz, I felt frightened because the secret is
binding only in the confessional. This was a groundless fear. One word from
Mother Superior set me at ease about it. Meanwhile, when I entered the
chapel, I heard these words in my soul: I want you to be open and simple
as a child with My representative just as you are with Me; otherwise I will
leave you and will not commune with you. |
|
495 |
Jesus, Eternal Light, enlighten my mind,
strengthen my will, inflame my heart and be with me as You have promised, for
without You I am nothing. You know, Jesus, how weak lam. l
do not need to tell You this, for You yourself know perfectly well how
wretched I am. It is in You that all my strength lies. |
|
496 |
Confession Day. From early morning, the turmoil in
my soul was more violent than anything I had ever experienced before.
Complete abandonment by God; I felt the utter weakness that I was. Thoughts bore
in upon me: why should I leave this convent where I am loved by the sisters
and superiors, where life is so tranquil; [where I am] bound by perpetual
vows and carry out my duties without difficulty; why should I listen to the
voice of my conscience; why follow an inspiration coming from who knows
where; wouldn't it be better to carry on like all the other sisters? Perhaps
the Lord's words could be stifled, not taken heed of; maybe God will not
demand an account of them on the day of judgment. Where will this inner voice
lead me? If I follow it, what tremendous difficulties, tribulations and
adversities are in store for me. I fear the future,
and I am agonizing in the present. |
|
497 |
O Eternal Truth, Word Incarnate, who most
faithfully fulfilled Your Father's will, today I am becoming a martyr of Your
inspirations, since I cannot carry them out because I have no will of my own,
though interiorly I see Your will clearly. I submit in everything to the will
of my superiors and my confessor. I will follow Your will insofar as You will
permit me to do so through Your representative. O my Jesus, it cannot be
helped, but I give priority to the voice of the Church over the voice with
which You speak to me. |
|
498 |
I saw Jesus in the usual way, and He spoke these
words to me: Lay your head on my shoulder, rest and regain your strength.
I am always with you. Tell the friend of My Heart that I use such feeble
creatures to carry out My work. After a while my spirit was strengthened
with great power. Tell him that I had let him see your weakness during
your confession to show him what you are of yourself. |
|
499 |
Each battle valiantly fought brings me joy, peace,
light, experience and courage for the future; honor and glory to God; and in
the end, for me, a reward. |
|
500 |
During Holy Mass I prayed fervently that Jesus
might become King of all hearts and that divine grace might shine in every
soul. Then I saw Jesus as He is depicted in the image, and He said to me,
My daughter, you give Me the greatest glory by faithfully fulfilling My
desires. |
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|
501 |
Oh, how great is Your beauty, Jesus my Spouse! Living
Flower enclosing life-giving dew for a thirsting soul! My soul is drowned in
You. You alone are the object of my desires and strivings. Unite me as
closely as possible to Yourself, to the Father and to the Holy Spirit. Let me
live and die in You. |
|
502 |
Only love has meaning; it raises up our smallest
actions into infinity. |
|
503 |
My Jesus, truly I would not know how to live
without You-my spirit is welded to Yours. No one can really understand this;
one must first live in You in order to recognize You in others. |
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>>DIVINE MERCY APOSTOLATE .... Diary .... A. Diary .... BM. Diary (part) . footnotes
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>Saints >St Peters Church
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