>>DIVINE
MERCY
APOSTOLATE .... Diary A. Diary
Notebook I
Notebook II Notebook III Notebook IV Notebook V Notebook VI Prepare
for H Communion
Audio Diary Divine Mercy in My Soul
Book I ( CD 7 of 9:
348-419 )
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NOTEBOOK 1, CD
7 |
Minutes |
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1 |
Entries 348 356 |
11:52 |
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2 |
Entries 357 367 |
11:44 |
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3 |
Entries 368 378 |
12:05 |
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4 |
Entries 379 390 |
08:37 |
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5 |
Entries 391 400 |
09:36 |
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6 |
Entries 401 410 |
09:48 |
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Entries 411 419 |
10:09 |
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8 |
Song Hidden God |
04:09 |
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348 |
The first Thursday after Christmas. I completely
forgot it was Thursday and so did not make my adoration. At nine o'clock I
went directly to the dormitory with the other sisters. But strangely enough,
I could not fall asleep. It seemed to me that I had not yet done something
that I was supposed to do. Mentally, I reviewed all my duties, and could not
recollect anything. This lasted until ten o'clock. At ten, I saw the
Sorrowful Face of Jesus. Then Jesus spoke these words to me: I have been
waiting to share My suffering with you, for who can understand My suffering
better than My spouse? I asked pardon of Jesus for my coldness. Ashamed
and not daring to look at the Lord Jesus, but with a contrite heart, I asked
Him to give me one thorn from His crown. He answered that He would grant me
this favor, but not until tomorrow, and immediately the vision disappeared. |
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349 |
In the morning, during meditation, I felt a painful
thorn in the left side of my head. The suffering continued all day. I
meditated continually about how Jesus had been able to endure the pain of so
many thorns which made up His crown. I joined my suffering to the sufferings
of Jesus and offered it for sinners. At four o'clock when I came for
adoration, I saw one of our wards offending God greatly by sins of impure
thoughts. I also saw a certain person who was the cause of her sin. My soul
was pierced with fear, and I asked God, for the sake of Jesus' pain, to
snatch her from this terrible misery. |
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350 |
Jesus answered that He would grant her that favor,
not for her sake, but for the sake of my request. Now I understood how much
we ought to pray for sinners, and especially for our wards. |
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351 |
O my God, how sweet it is to suffer for You, suffer
in the most secret recesses of the heart, in the greatest hiddenness, to burn
like a sacrifice noticed by no one, pure as crystal, with no consolation or
compassion. My spirit burns in active love. I waste no time in dreaming. I
take every moment singly as it comes, for this is within my power. The past
does not belong to me; the future is not mine; with all my soul I try to make
use of the present moment. |
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352 |
At the chapter, Mother [Borgia] stressed a life of
faith and fidelity in small things. Half way through the chapter, I heard
these words: I desire that you would all have more faith at the present
time. How great is My joy at the faithfulness of My spouse in the smallest
things. Then I looked at the crucifix and saw that Jesus' head was turned
towards the refectory, and His lips were moving. |
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353 |
When Mother left for the chapel and I stayed to
set the room in order, I heard these words: Tell all the sisters that I
demand that they live in the spirit of faith towards the superiors at this
present time. I begged my confessor to release me from this duty. |
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354 |
As I was talking to a certain person [84]
who was to paint the image but, for certain reasons, was not painting it, I
heard this voice in my soul: I want her to be more obedient. I
understood that our efforts, no matter how great, are not pleasing to God if
they do not bear the seal of obedience; I am speaking about a religious soul.
O God, how easy it is to know Your will in the convent! We religious have
God's will set clearly before our eyes from morning till night, and in
moments of uncertainty we have our superiors through whom God speaks. |
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355 |
1934-1935. New Year's Eve. I was given permission
not to go to sleep, but rather pray in the chapel. One of the sisters had asked
me to offer an hour of adoration for her. I said yes, and prayed for her for
an hour. During the hour, God gave me to understand how very pleasing this
soul was to Him. |
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356 |
O Blessed Host, in whom
is contained the testament of God's mercy for us, and especially for poor
sinners. |
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357 |
+Most Holy Trinity, I trust in Your infinite
mercy. God is my Father and so I, His child, have every claim to His divine
Heart; and the greater the darkness, the more complete our trust should be. |
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358 |
I do not understand how it is possible not to
trust in Him who can do all things. With Him, everything; without Him, nothing.
He is Lord. He will not allow those who have placed all their trust in Him to
be put to shame. |
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359 |
January 10, 1935. +Thursday. In the evening during
benediction, [85]
such thoughts as these began to distress me: Is not perhaps all this that I
am saying about God's great mercy just a lie or an illusion...? And I wanted
to think about this for a while, when I heard a strong and clear inner voice
saying, Everything that you say about My goodness is true; language has no
adequate expression to extol My goodness. These words were so filled with
power and so clear that I would give my life in declaring they came from God.
I can tell this by the profound peace that accompanied them at that time and
that still remains with me. This peace gives me such great strength and power
that all difficulties, adversities, sufferings, and death itself are as
nothing. This light gave me a glimpse of the truth that all my efforts to
bring souls to know the mercy of the Lord are very pleasing to God. And from
this springs such great joy in my soul that I do not know whether it could be
any greater in heaven. Oh, if souls would only be willing to listen, at least
a little, to the voice of conscience and the voice that is, the
inspirations-of the Holy Spirit! I say "at least a little," because
once we open ourselves to the influence of the Holy Spirit, He himself will
fulfill what is lacking in us. |
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360 |
Jesus likes to intervene in the smallest details
of our life, and He often fulfills secret wishes of mine that I sometimes
hide from Him, although I know that from Him nothing can be hidden. |
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361 |
incomprehensible in the greatness of Your
mercy for creatures, and especially for poor sinners, You have made known the
abyss of Your mercy, incomprehensible and unfathomable [as it is] to any
mind, whether of man or angel. Our nothingness and our misery are drowned in
Your greatness. O infinite goodness, who can ever praise You sufficiently?
Can there be found a soul that understands You in Your love? O Jesus, there
are such souls, but they are few. |
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362 |
+One day, during the morning meditation, I heard
this voice: I myself am your director; I was, I am, and I will be. And
since you asked for visible help, I chose and gave you a director even before
you had asked, for My work required this. Know that the faults you commit
against him wound My Heart. Be especially on your guard against
self-willfulness; even the smallest thing should bear the seal of obedience. |
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363 |
O good Jesus, thank You for the great grace of making known to me what I am of myself: misery and sin,
and nothing more. I can do only one thing of myself, and that is to offend
You, O my God, because misery can do no more of itself than offend You, O
infinite Goodness! |
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364 |
+Once I was asked to pray for a certain soul. I
decided at once to make a novena to the Merciful Lord to which I added a
mortification; namely, that I would wear chains [86]
on both legs throughout Holy Mass. I had been doing this already for three
days when I went to confession and told my spiritual director that I had
undertaken this mortification, presuming permission to do so. I had thought
he would not object, but I heard the contrary; that is, that I should do
nothing without permission. O my Jesus, so it was willfulness again! But my
falls do not discourage me; I know very well that 1 am misery [itself].
Because of the condition of my health I did not receive this permission, and
my spiritual director was surprised that I had been allowing myself greater
mortifications without his permission. I asked pardon for my
self-willfulness, or rather for having presumed permission, and I asked him
to change this mortification for another one. |
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365 |
My spiritual director replaced it with an interior
mortification; namely, throughout Holy Mass I was to meditate on why the Lord
Jesus had submitted to being baptized. The meditation was no mortification
for me, for thinking about God is a delight and not a mortification; but
there was a mortification of the will in that I was not doing [simply] what I
like, but what I was told to do, and it is in this that interior
mortification consists. When I left the confessional and started to recite my
penance, I heard these words: I have granted the grace you asked for on
behalf of that soul, but not because of the mortification you chose for
yourself. Rather, it was because of your act of complete obedience to My
representative that I granted this grace to that soul for whom you interceded
and begged mercy. Know that when you mortify your own self-will, then Mine
reigns within you. |
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366 |
O my Jesus, be patient
with me. I will be more careful in the future. I will rely, not upon myself,
but upon Your grace and Your very great goodness to miserable me. |
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367 |
+On one occasion, Jesus gave me to know that when
I pray for intentions which people are wont to entrust to me, He is always
ready to grant His graces, but souls do not always want to accept them: My
Heart overflows with great mercy for souls, and especially for poor sinners.
If only they could understand that I am the best of Fathers to them and that
it is for them that the Blood and Water flowed from My Heart as from a fount
overflowing with mercy. For them I dwell in the tabernacle as King of Mercy.
I desire to bestow My graces upon souls, but they do not want to accept them.
You, at least, come to Me as often as possible and take these graces they do
not want to accept. In this way you will console My Heart. Oh, how
indifferent are souls to so much goodness, to so many proofs of love! My
Heart drinks only of the ingratitude and forgetfulness of souls living in the
world. They have time for everything, but they have no time to come to Me for
graces. |
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368 |
January 29, 1935. This Tuesday morning during
meditation, I had an interior vision of the Holy Father saying Mass. After
the Pater Noster, he talked to Jesus about that
matter which Jesus had ordered me to tell him. Although I have not spoken to
the Holy Father personally, this matter was taken care of by someone else
[Father Sopocko [87]
]; at this moment, however, I knew by interior knowledge that the Holy Father
was considering this matter, which will soon come to pass in accordance with
the desires of Jesus. |
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369 |
Before the eight-day retreat, I went to my
spiritual director and asked him for certain mortifications for the time of
the retreat. However, I did not receive permission for everything I asked
for, but for some things only. I received permission for one hour of
meditation on the Passion of the Lord Jesus and for a certain humiliation.
But I was a little dissatisfied at not receiving permission for everything I
had asked. When we returned home, I dropped into the chapel for a moment, and
then I heard this voice in my soul: There is more merit to one hour of
meditation on My sorrowful Passion than there is to a whole year of
flagellation that draws blood; the contemplation of My painful wounds is of
great profit to you, and it brings Me great joy. I am surprised that you
still have not completely renounced your self-will, but I rejoice exceedingly
that this change will be accomplished during the retreat. |
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370 |
That same day, when I was in church waiting for
confession, I saw the same rays issuing from the monstrance and spreading
throughout the church. This lasted all through the service. After the
Benediction. [the rays shone out] to both sides and
returned again to the monstrance. Their appearance was bright and transparent
like crystal. I asked Jesus that He deign to light the fire of His love in
all souls that were-cold. Beneath these rays a heart will grow warm even if
it were like a block of ice; even if it were hard as a rock, it will crumble
into dust. |
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371 |
Jesus, King of Mercy, again the time has come when
I am alone with You. Therefore I beg You, by all the love with which Your
Heart burns, to destroy completely within me my self-love and, on the other
hand, to enkindle in my heart the fire of Your purest love. |
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372 |
In the evening, after the conference, I heard
these words: I am with you. During this retreat, I will strengthen you in
peace and in courage so that your strength will not fail in carrying out My designs.
Therefore you will cancel out your will absolutely in this retreat and,
instead, My complete will shall be accomplished in you. Know that it will
cost you much, so write these words on a clean sheet of paper: "From
today on, my own will does not exist," and then cross out the page. And
on the other side write these words: "From today on, I do the will of
God everywhere, always, and in everything." Be afraid of nothing; love
will give you strength and make the realization of this easy. |
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373 |
In the fundamental meditation about the goal; that
is, of choosing love: the soul must love; it has need of loving. The soul
must divert the stream of its love, but not into the mud or into a vacuum,
but into God. How I rejoice when I reflect on this, for I feel clearly that
He himself is in my heart. Just Jesus alone! I love creatures insofar as they
help me to become united with God. I love all people because I see the image
of God in them. |
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374 |
J.M.J Vilnius, February 4, 1935 |
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375 |
Particular interior practice; that is, the
examination of conscience. Self-denial, denial of my own will. |
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376 |
My Jesus, I trust that Your grace will help me to carry
out these resolutions. Although the above points are contained in the vow of
obedience, I want to practice these things in a special way, because this is
the essence of the religious life. Merciful Jesus, I beg You fervently to
enlighten my mind so that I may come to know You better, You who are the
Infinite Being, and that I may get to know myself better, who am nothingness
itself. |
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377 |
Concerning Holy Confession. We should derive two
kinds of profit from Holy Confession: |
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378 |
Once as I was talking with my spiritual director,
I had an interior vision-quicker than lightning-of his soul in great
suffering, in such agony that God touches very few souls with such fire. The
suffering arises from this work. There will come a time when this work, which
God is demanding so very much, will be as though utterly undone. And then God
will act with great power, which will give evidence of its authenticity. It
will be a new splendor for the Church, although it has been dormant in it
from long ago. That God is infinitely merciful, no one can deny. He desires
everyone to know this before He comes again as Judge. He wants souls to come
to know Him first as King of Mercy. When this triumph comes, we shall already
have entered the new life in which there is no suffering. But before this,
your soul [of the spiritual director] will be surfeited with bitterness at
the sight of the destruction of your efforts. However, this will only appear
to be so, because what God has once decided upon, He does not change. But
although this destruction will be such only in outward appearance, the
suffering will be real. When will this happen? I do not know. How long will
it last? I do not know. [89]
But God has promised a great grace especially to you and to all those... who
will proclaim My great mercy. I shall protect them Myself at the hour of
death, as My own glory. And even if the sins of soul are as dark as night,
when the sinner turns to My mercy he gives Me the greatest praise and is the
glory of My Passion. When a soul praises My goodness, Satan trembles before
it and flees to the very bottom of hell. |
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379 |
During one of the adorations, Jesus promised me
that: With souls that have recourse to My mercy and with those that
glorify and proclaim My great mercy to others, I will deal according to My
infinite mercy at the hour of their death. |
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380 |
I make no movement, no gesture after my own
liking, because I am bound by grace; I always consider what is more pleasing
to Jesus. |
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381 |
When meditating once on obedience, I heard these
words: In this meditation, the priest [90] is
speaking particularly for you. Know that I am borrowing his lips.
I tried to listen most attentively to everything and to apply everything to
my own heart, as in every meditation. When the priest said that an obedient
soul was filled with the power of God... Yes, when you are obedient I take
away your weakness and replace it with My strength. I am very surprised that
souls do not want to make that exchange with Me. I said to the Lord,
"Jesus, enlighten my heart, or else I, too, will not understand much
from these words." |
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382 |
I know that I live, not for myself, but for a great
number of souls. I know that graces granted me are not for me alone, but for
souls. O Jesus, the abyss of Your mercy has been poured into my soul, which
is an abyss of misery itself. Thank You, Jesus, for the graces and the pieces
of the Cross which You give me at each moment of my life. |
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383 |
At the beginning of the retreat, I saw, on the
ceiling of the chapel, Jesus nailed to the Cross. He was looking at the
sisters with great love, but not at all of them. There were three sisters at
whom Jesus looked severely, for what reasons I do not know. I only know what
a terrible thing it is to meet with such a look, which is the look of a
severe Judge. That look was not directed at me, and yet I was paralyzed with
terror. I still tremble as I write these words. I did not dare to say so much
as a single word to Jesus. My physical strength failed me, and I thought I
would not live to the end of the conference. The next day, I saw the same
thing again, just as I had seen it the first time, and this time I dared to
speak these words: "Jesus, how great is Your mercy!" |
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384 |
When I stayed for adoration from nine to ten
o'clock, four other sisters stayed; too. When 1 approached the altar and
began to meditate on the Passion of the Lord Jesus, a terrible pain
immediately filled my soul because of the ingratitude of so many souls living
in the world; but particularly painful was the ingratitude of souls
especially chosen by God. There is no notion or comparison [which can
describe it]. At the sight of this blackest ungratefulness I felt as though
my heart were torn open; my strength failed me completely, and I fell on my
face, not attempting to hide my loud cries. Each time I thought of God's
great mercy and of the ingratitude of souls, pain stabbed at my heart, and I
understood how painfully it wounded the sweetest Heart of Jesus. With a
burning heart, I renewed my act of self-oblation on behalf of sinners. |
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385 |
With joy and longing I have pressed my lips to the
bitterness of the cup which I receive each day at Holy Mass. It is the share
which Jesus has allotted to me for each moment, and I will not relinquish it
to anyone. I will comfort the most sweet Eucharistic
Heart continuously and will play harmonious melodies on the strings of my
heart. Suffering is the most harmonious melody of all. I will assiduously
search out that which will make Your Heart rejoice today! |
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386 |
I feel that God will let me draw aside the veils [of
heaven] so that the earth will not doubt His goodness. God is not subject to
eclipse or change. He is forever one and the same; nothing can contradict His
will. I feel within myself a power greater than human. I feel courage and
strength thanks to the grace that dwells in me. 1 understand
souls who are suffering against hope, for 1 have gone through that fire
myself. But God will not give [us anything] beyond our strength. Often have I
lived hoping against hope, and have advanced my hope to complete trust in
God. Let that which He has ordained from all ages happen to me. |
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387 |
It would be a very ugly thing for a religious to
seek relief from suffering. |
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388 |
See what grace and reflection made out of the
greatest criminal. He who is dying has much love: "Remember me when You
are in paradise." Heartfelt repentance immediately transforms the soul.
The spiritual life is to be lived earnestly and sincerely. |
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389 |
Love must be reciprocal. If Jesus tasted the fullness
of bitterness for me, then I, His bride, will accept all bitterness as proof
of my love for Him. |
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390 |
He who knows how to forgive prepares for himself
many graces from God. As often as I look upon the cross, so often will I
forgive with all my heart. |
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391 |
Through Holy Baptism, we entered into union with
other souls. Death tightens the bonds of love. I ought always to be of help
to others. If I am a good religious, I will be useful, not only to the Order,
but to the whole Country as well. |
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392 |
The Lord God grants His graces in two ways: by
inspiration and by enlightenment. If we ask God for a grace, He will give it
to us; but let us be willing to accept it. And in order to accept it,
self-denial is needed. Love does not consist in words or feelings, but in
deeds. It is an act of the will; it is a gift; that is to say, a giving. The
reason, the will, the heart-these three faculties must be exercised during
prayer. I will rise from the dead in Jesus, but first I must live in Him. If
I do not separate myself from the Cross, then the Gospel will be revealed in
me. Jesus in me makes up for all my deficiencies. His grace operates without
ceasing. The Holy Trinity grants me Its life abundantly, by the gift of the
Holy Spirit. The Three Divine Persons live in me. When God loves, He loves
with all His Being, with all the power of His Being. If God has loved me in
this way, how should I respond I, His spouse? |
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393 |
During one conference, Jesus said to me, You are
a sweet grape in a chosen cluster; I want others to have a share in the juice
that is flowing within you. |
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394 |
During the renewal of the vows, [91]
I saw the Lord Jesus on the Epistle side [of the altar], wearing a white
garment with a golden belt and holding a terrible sword in His hand. This
lasted until the moment when the sisters began to renew their vows. Then I
saw a resplendence beyond compare and, in front of
this brilliance, a white cloud in the shape of a scale. Then Jesus approached
and put the sword on one side of the scale, and it fell heavily towards the
ground until it was about to touch it. Just then, the sisters finished
renewing their vows. Then I saw Angels who took something from each of the
sisters and placed it in a golden vessel somewhat in the shape of a thurible. When they had collected it from all the sisters
and placed the vessel on the other side of the scale, it immediately outweighed
and raised up the side on which the sword had been
laid. At that moment, a flame issued forth from the thurible,
and it reached all the way to the brilliance. Then I heard a voice coming
from the brilliance: Put the sword back in its place; the sacrifice is
greater. Then Jesus gave us His blessing, and all I had seen vanished.
The sisters had already begun to receive Holy Communion. When I received Holy
Communion, my soul was filled with such great joy that I am unable to
describe it. |
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395 |
[February] 15, 1935. A few days' visit at my
parents' home [92]
to see my dying mother. |
|
396 |
My traveling companions were very kind; several
women of the Sodality of Mary were in the same compartment with me. I sensed
that one of them was suffering greatly and fighting a difficult battle in her
soul. l began to pray in spirit for this soul. At
eleven o'clock these women went to another compartment for a chat, leaving
only the two of us behind in the carriage. I could feel that my prayer was
causing this soul's struggle to become even fiercer. I did not console her,
but prayed all the more fervently. Finally, the lady turned to me and asked
if she was obliged to fulfill a certain promise which she had made to God. At
that moment, I received inner knowledge of the promise and replied, "You
are absolutely obliged to keep it, or else you will be miserable for the rest
of your life. This thought will pursue you everywhere and give you no
peace." Surprised at my answer, she opened her soul to me. |
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397 |
That morning I arrived in Warsaw, and at eight
o'clock that evening I was already at home. What a joy it was for my parents
and for the whole family! It is difficult to describe it. My mother's health
had improved a bit, but the doctor gave no hope of complete recovery. After
greeting each other, we knelt down to thank God for the grace of being able
to be together once again in this life. |
|
398 |
When I saw how my father prayed, I was very much
ashamed that, after so many years in the convent, I was not able to pray with
such sincerity and fervor. And so 1 never cease
thanking God for such parents. |
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399 |
Oh, how everything had changed beyond recognition during
those ten years! The garden had been so small, and now I could not recognize
it. My brothers and sisters had still been children, and now they were all
grown up. I was surprised that I did not find them as they had been when we
parted. Stanley accompanied me to church every day. I felt that he was very
pleasing to God. |
|
400 |
On the last day, when everyone had left the
church, I went before the Blessed Sacrament with him, and together we recited
the Te Deum. After a moment of silence, I offered
his soul to the Sweetest Heart of Jesus. How easy it was to pray in that
little church! I remembered all the graces that I had received there, and
which I had not understood at the time and had so often abused. I wondered
how I could have been so blind. And as I was thus regretting my blindness, I
suddenly saw the Lord Jesus, radiant with unspeakable beauty, .. and He said to me with
kindness, My chosen one, I will give you even greater graces that you may
be the witness of My infinite mercy throughout all eternity. |
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401 |
The days at home passed in much company, as everybody
wanted to see me and talk with me. Often I could count as many as twenty-five
people there. They listened with great interest to my accounts of the lives
of the saints. It seemed to me that our house was truly the house of God, as
each evening we talked about nothing but God. When, tired from these talks
and yearning for solitude and silence, I quietly slipped out into the garden
in the evening so I could converse with God alone, even in this I was
unsuccessful; immediately my brothers and sisters came and took me into the
house and, once again, I had to talk, with all those eyes fixed on me. But I
struck on one way of getting some respite; I asked my brothers to sing for
me, inasmuch as they had lovely voices; and besides, one played the violin and
another, the mandolin. And during this time I was able to devote myself to
interior prayer without shunning their company. |
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402 |
As I was taking leave of my parents and asking for
their blessing, I felt the power of the grace of God being poured out upon my
soul. My father, my mother and my godmother blessed me with tears in their
eyes, wished me the greatest faithfulness to God's graces, and begged me
never to forget how many graces God had granted me in calling me to the
religious life. They asked me to pray for them. Although everyone was crying,
I did not shed a single tear; I tried to be brave and comforted them as best
I could, reminding them of heaven where there would
be no more parting. Stanley walked me to the car. I told him how much God
loves pure souls and assured him God was satisfied with him. When I was
telling him about the goodness of God and of how He thinks of us, he burst
out crying like a little child, and I was not surprised, for this was a pure
soul and, as such, more capable of recognizing God. |
|
403 |
Once I was in the car, I let my heart have its
way, and I, too, cried like a baby, for joy that God was granting our family
so many graces, and I became steeped in a prayer of thanksgiving. |
|
404 |
When I entered the chapel to say goodnight to the
Lord before retiring, and apologized for having talked so little to Him when
I was at home, I heard a voice within my soul, I am very pleased that you
had not been talking with Me, but were making My goodness known to souls and
rousing them to love Me. |
|
405 |
Mother Superior [Mary Joseph] said to me, "We
are both going to Jozefinek tomorrow, Sister, and
you will have a chance to talk with Mother General [Michael]." I was delighted.
Mother General was ever the same, full of goodness, peace and the Spirit of
God. I had a long talk with her. We attended the afternoon service. The
Litany of the Sacred Heart of Jesus was sung. The Lord Jesus was exposed in
the monstrance. |
|
406 |
After a short while, I saw the little Jesus, who
came out from the Host and rested in my hands. This lasted for a moment;
immense joy flooded my soul. The Child Jesus had the same appearance as He
had the time we entered the Chapel with Mother Superior-my former Directress,
Mary Joseph. The next day I was already back in my beloved Vilnius. |
|
407 |
Oh, how happy I felt to be back in our convent! I
felt as though I was entering the convent for the second time. I took
unending delight in the silence and peace in which the soul can so easily
immerse itself in God, helped by everyone and
disturbed by no one. |
|
408 |
When I become immersed in the Lord's Passion, I
often see the Lord Jesus, during adoration, in this manner: after the scourging,
the torturers took the Lord and stripped Him of His own garment, which had
already adhered to the wounds; as they took it off, His wounds reopened; then
they threw a dirty and tattered scarlet cloak over the fresh wounds of the
Lord. The cloak, in some places, barely reached His knees. They made Him sit
on a piece of beam. And then they wove a crown of thorns, which they put on
His sacred head. They put a reed in His hand and made fun of Him, bowing to
Him as to a king. Some spat in His face, while others took the reed and
struck Him on the head with it. Others caused him pain by slapping Him; still
others covered His face and struck Him with their fists. Jesus bore all this
with meekness. Who can comprehend Him-comprehend His suffering? Jesus' eyes
were downcast. I sensed what was happening in the most
sweet Heart of Jesus at that time. Let every soul reflect on what
Jesus was suffering at that moment. They tried to outdo each other in
insulting the Lord. I reflected: Where does such malice in man come from? It
is caused by sin. Love and sin have met. |
|
409 |
When I was attending Mass in a certain church with
another sister, I felt the greatness and majesty of God; I felt the church
was permeated by God. His majesty enveloped me and, though it terrified me,
it filled me with peace and joy. I knew that nothing could oppose His will.
Oh, if only all souls knew who is living in our churches, there would not be
so many outrages and so much disrespect in these holy places! |
|
410 |
O eternal and incomprehensible Love, I beg You for
one grace: enlighten my mind with light from on high; help me to know and
appreciate all things according to their value. I feel the greatest joy in my
soul when I come to know the truth. |
|
411 |
March 21, 1935. Often during Mass, I see the Lord
in my soul; I feel His presence which pervades my being. I sense His divine
gaze; I have long talks with Him without saying a word; I know what His
divine Heart desires, and I always do what will please Him the most. 1 love Him to distraction, and I feel that I am being loved
by God. At those times when I meet with God deep within myself, I feel so
happy that I do not know how to express it. Such moments are short, for the
soul could not bear it for long, as separation from the body would be
inevitable. Though these moments are very short, their power, however, which
is transmitted to the soul, remains with it for a very long time. Without the
least effort, I experience the profound recollection which then envelops
me-and it does not diminish even if I talk with people, nor does it interfere
with the performance of my duties. I feel the constant presence of God
without any effort of my soul. I know that I am united with Him as closely as
a drop of water is united with the bottomless ocean. |
|
412 |
There was no one in the chapel, so I got up,
picked up the pieces of the flowerpot, repotted the flower and tried to do
all this before anyone came in. But I did not manage to do so, as Mother
Superior [Borgia] came in at that moment together with the sister sacristan [93]
and several other sisters. Mother Superior was surprised that I had been touching
something on the altar and thus caused the flowerpot to fall. Sister
sacristan showed her displeasure, and I did my best not to explain or excuse
myself. But towards evening I felt very exhausted and could not make my Holy
Hour, so I asked Mother Superior to allow me to go to bed early. I fell
asleep as soon as I lay down, but at about eleven o'clock Satan shook my bed.
I awoke instantly, and I started to pray peacefully to my Guardian Angel.
Then I saw the souls who were doing penance in purgatory. They appeared like
shadows, and among them I saw many demons. One of these tried to vex me;
taking the form of a cat, he kept throwing himself onto my bed and on my
feet, and he was quite heavy, as if [weighing] a ton. |
|
413 |
This morning I heard these words: From today
until the [celebration of the] Resurrection, you will not feel My presence, but
your soul will be filled with great longing. And immediately a great
longing filled my soul; I felt a separation from my beloved Jesus, and when
the moment for Holy Communion came, I saw the suffering Face of Jesus in
every Host [contained] in the chalice. From that moment, I felt a more
intense yearning in my heart. |
|
414 |
On Good Friday, at three o'clock in the afternoon,
when I entered the chapel, I heard these words: I desire that the image be
publicly honored. Then I saw the Lord Jesus dying on the Cross amidst
great suffering, and out of the Heart of Jesus came the same two rays as are
in the image. |
|
415 |
Saturday. During Vespers I saw the Lord Jesus
radiant as the sun, in a bright garment, and He said to me, May your heart
be joyful. And great joy flooded me, and I was penetrated with God's
presence, which for the soul is a treasure beyond words. |
|
416 |
When the image was displayed, [94]
I saw a sudden movement of the hand of Jesus, as He made a large sign of the
cross. In the evening of the same day, when I had gone to bed, I saw the
image going over the town, and the town was covered with what appeared to be
a mesh and nets. As Jesus passed, He cut through all the nets and finally
made a large sign of the cross and disappeared. I saw myself surrounded by a
multitude of malicious figures burning with hatred for me. Various threats
came from their lips, but none of them touched me. After a moment, this
apparition vanished, but for a long time I could not get to sleep. |
|
417 |
[April] 26. On Friday, when I was at Ostra Brama to attend the
ceremony during which the image was displayed, I heard a sermon given by my
confessor [Father Sopocko]. This sermon about
Divine Mercy was the first of the things that Jesus had asked for so very
long ago. When he began to speak about the great mercy of the Lord, the image
came alive and the rays pierced the hearts of the people gathered there, but
not all to the same degree. Some received more, some less. Great joy filled
my soul to see the grace of God. |
|
418 |
When the sermon was over, I did not wait for the
end of the service, as I was in a hurry to get back home. When I had taken a
few steps, a great multitude of demons blocked my way. They threatened me
with terrible tortures, and voices could be heard: "She has snatched away
everything we have worked for over so many years!" When I asked them,
"Where have you come from in such great numbers?" the wicked forms
answered, "Out of human hearts; stop tormenting us!" |
|
419 |
Seeing their great hatred for me, I immediately asked
my Guardian Angel for help, and at once the bright and radiant figure of my
Guardian Angel appeared and said to me, "Do not fear, spouse of my Lord;
without His permission these spirits will do you no harm." Immediately
the evil spirits vanished, and the faithful Guardian Angel accompanied me, in
a visible manner, right to the very house. His look was modest and peaceful,
and a flame of fire sparkled from his forehead. O Jesus, I would like to toil
and wear myself out and suffer all my life for that one moment in which I saw
Your glory, O Lord, and profit for souls. |
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>>DIVINE MERCY APOSTOLATE .... Diary .... A. Diary .... BM. Diary (part) . footnotes
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