>>DIVINE
MERCY
APOSTOLATE .... Diary A. Diary
Notebook I
Notebook II Notebook III Notebook IV Notebook V Notebook VI Prepare
for H Communion
Audio Diary Divine Mercy in My Soul
Book I ( CD 6 of 9:
(271-347) )
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NOTEBOOK 1, CD
6 |
Minutes |
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1 |
Entries 271 280 |
09:16 |
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2 |
Entries 281 290 |
07:39 |
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3 |
Entries 291 300 |
07:56 |
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4 |
Entries 301 310 |
09:10 |
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5 |
Entries 311 324 |
14:23 |
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6 |
Song I Surrender All |
04:57 |
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7 |
Entries 325 337 |
12:57 |
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8 |
Entries 338 347 |
13:12 |
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271 |
When the Rev. Dr. Sopocko went to the Holy Land, Father Dabrowski,
S.J., was the community's confessor. During one confession he asked me if I
was aware of the high degree of [spiritual] life that was present in my soul.
I answered that I was aware of it and knew what was going on within me. To
this the Father replied, "You must not destroy what is going on in your
soul, Sister, nor must you change anything on your own. It is not in every
soul that the beautiful gift of a higher interior life is manifest as it is
in your case, Sister, for it is manifest in an immense degree. Be careful not
to waste these great graces of God; a great..."[Here the thought breaks
off.] |
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272 |
But previously, this priest
had put me through many trials. When I told him that the Lord wanted these
things of me [that is, the painting of the image, the establishing of a feast
of The Divine Mercy, and the founding of a new community], he laughed at me
and told me to come to confession at eight in the evening. When I came at
eight, a brother was already locking the church. When I told him that Father
had ordered me to come at that time and asked him to let Father know I was
there, the good brother went to let him know. Father told him to tell me that
priests do not hear confessions at that time of day. I returned home emptyhanded and did not go to confession to him again,
but I made a whole hour's adoration and took on certain mortifications for
him, that he might obtain light from God in order to know souls. But when
Father Sopocko left, and he substituted for him, I
was forced to go to confession to him. Yet, while previously he had been
unwilling to acknowledge these inner inspirations, he now put me under
obligation to be faithful to them. God lets such things happen sometimes, but
may He be glorified in everything. Still, it requires much grace not to falter. |
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273 |
My Jesus, again the moment
approaches when I will be alone with You. Jesus, I ask You with all my heart,
let me know what there is in me that displeases You
and also let me know what I should do to become more pleasing to You. Do not
refuse me this favor and be with me. I know that without You, Lord, all my
efforts will not amount to much. Oh, how I rejoice at Your greatness, O Lord!
The more I come to know You, the more ardently I yearn for You and sigh after
You! |
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274 |
Jesus gave me the grace of
knowing myself. In this divine light I see my principal fault; it is pride
which takes the form of my closing up within myself
and of a lack of simplicity in my relations with Mother Superior [Irene]. |
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275 |
Jesus loves hidden souls. A
hidden flower is the most fragrant. I must strive to make the interior of my
soul a resting place for the Heart of Jesus. In difficult and painful
moments, O my Creator, I sing You a hymn of trust, for bottomless is the
abyss of my trust in You and in Your mercy! |
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276 |
From the moment I came to
love suffering, it ceased to be a suffering for me. Suffering is the daily
food of my soul. |
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277 |
I will not speak with a
certain person, because I know that Jesus does not like it and that she does
not profit by it. |
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278 |
At the feet of the Lord.
Hidden Jesus, Eternal Love, our Source of Life, Divine Madman, in that You forget
yourself and see only us. Before creating heaven and earth, You carried us in
the depths of Your Heart. O Love, O depth of Your abasement, O mystery of
happiness, why do so few people know You? Why is Your love not returned? O
Divine Love, why do You hide Your beauty? O Infinite One beyond all
understanding, the more I know You the less I comprehend You; but because I
cannot comprehend You, I better comprehend Your greatness. I do not envy the
Seraphim their fire, for I have a greater gift deposited in my heart. They
admire You in rapture, but Your Blood mingles with mine. Love is heaven given
us already here on earth. Oh, why do You hide in faith? Love tears away the
veil. There is no veil before the eye of my soul, for You yourself have drawn
me into the bosom of secret love forever. Praise and glory be to You, O
Indivisible Trinity, One God, unto ages of ages! |
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279 |
God made known to me what
true love consists in and gave light to me about how, in practice, to give
proof of it to Him. True love of God consists in carrying out God's will. To
show God our love in what we do, all our actions, even the least, must spring
from our love of God. And the Lord said to me, My child, you please Me
most by suffering. In your physical as well as your mental sufferings, My
daughter, do not seek sympathy from creatures. I want the fragrance of your
suffering to be pure and unadulterated. I want you to detach yourself, not
only from creatures, but also from yourself. My daughter, I want to delight
in the love of your heart, a pure love, virginal, unblemished, untarnished.
The more you will come to love suffering, My daughter, the purer your love
for Me will be. |
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280 |
Jesus commanded me to
celebrate the Feast of God's Mercy on the first Sunday after Easter. [This I
did] through interior recollection and exterior mortification, wearing the
belt for three hours and praying continuously for sinners and for mercy on
the whole world. And Jesus said to me, My eyes rest with pleasure upon
this house today. |
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281 |
I feel certain that my
mission will not come to an end upon my death, but will begin. O doubting
souls, I will draw aside for you the veils of heaven to convince you of God's
goodness, so that you will no longer continue to wound with your distrust the
sweetest Heart of Jesus. God is Love and Mercy. |
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282 |
Once the Lord said to me, My
Heart was moved by great mercy towards you, My dearest child, when I saw you
torn to shreds because of the great pain you suffered in repenting for your
sins. I see your love, so pure and true that I give you first place among the
virgins. You are the honor and glory of My Passion. I see every
abasement of your soul, and nothing escapes my attention. I lift up
the humble even to my very throne, because I want it so. |
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283 |
I want to love You as no
human soul has ever loved You before; and although I am utterly miserable and
small, I have nevertheless cast the anchor of my trust deep down into the
abyss of Your mercy, O my God and Creator! In spite of my great misery I fear
nothing, but hope to sing You a hymn of glory for ever.
Let no soul, even the most miserable, fall prey to doubt; for, as long as one
is alive, each one can become a great saint, so great is the power of God's
grace. It remains only for us not to oppose God's action. |
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284 |
O Jesus, if only I could
become like mist before Your eyes, to cover the earth so that You would not
see its terrible crimes. Jesus, when I look at the world and its indifference
towards You, again and again it brings tears to my eyes; but when I look at a
cold soul of a religious, my heart bleeds. |
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285 |
1934. Once, when I returned
to my cell, I was so tired that I had to rest a moment before I started to
undress, and when I was already undressed, one of the sisters asked me to
fetch her some hot water. Although I was tired, I dressed quickly and brought
her the water she wanted, even though it was quite a long walk from the cell
to the kitchen, and the mud was ankle-deep. When I re-entered my cell, I saw
the ciborium with the Blessed Sacrament, and I heard this voice, Take this
ciborium and bring it to the tabernacle. I hesitated at first, but when I
approached and touched it, I heard these words, Approach each of the
sisters with the same love with which you approach Me; and whatever you do
for them, you do it for Me. A moment later, I saw that I was alone. |
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286 |
+Once, after an adoration for our country, a pain pierced my soul, and
I began to pray in this way: "Most merciful Jesus, I beseech You through
the intercession of Your Saints, and especially the intercession of Your
dearest Mother who nurtured You from childhood, bless my native land. I beg
You, Jesus, look not on our sins, but on the tears of little children, on the
hunger and cold they suffer. Jesus, for the sake of these innocent ones, grant me the grace that I am asking of You for my
country." At that moment, I saw the Lord Jesus, His eyes filled with
tears, and He said to me, You see, My daughter, what great compassion I
have for them. Know that it is they who uphold the world. |
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287 |
+My Jesus, when I look at
this life of souls, I see that many of them serve You with some mistrust. At
certain times, especially when there is an opportunity to show their love for
God, I see them running away from the battlefield. And once Jesus said to me,
Do you, my child, also want to act like that? I answered the Lord,
"Oh, no, my Jesus, I will not retreat from the battlefield, even if
mortal sweat breaks out on my brow; I will not let the sword fall from my
hand until I rest at the feet of the Holy Trinity!" Whatever I do, I do
not rely on my own strength, but on God's grace. With God's grace a soul can
overcome the greatest difficulties. |
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288 |
+Once when I was having a long
talk with Jesus about our students, encouraged by His kindness, I asked Him,
"Do You have among our students any who are a comfort to Your
Heart?" The Lord answered [that] He has, but their love is weak, and
so I put them in your special care-pray for them. |
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289 |
My happiest moments are when
I am alone with my Lord. During these moments I experience the greatness of
God and my own misery. |
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290 |
Once, when I was deeply moved
by the thought of eternity and its mysteries, my soul became fearful; and
when I pondered about these a little longer, I started to be troubled by
various doubts. Then Jesus said to me, My child, do not be afraid of the
house of your Father. Leave these vain inquiries to the wise of this world. I
want to see you always as a little child. Ask your confessor about everything
with simplicity, and I will answer you through his lips. |
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291 |
On a certain occasion, I saw
a person about to commit a mortal sin. I asked the Lord to send me the greatest
torments so that that soul could be saved. Then I suddenly felt the terrible
pain of a crown of thorns on my head. It lasted for quite a long time, but
that person remained in the Lord's grace. 0 my Jesus, how very easy it is to
become holy; all that is needed is a bit of good will. If Jesus sees this
little bit of good will in the soul, He hurries to give himself to the soul,
and nothing can stop Him, neither shortcomings nor falls-absolutely nothing.
Jesus is anxious to help that soul, and if it is faithful to this grace from
God, it can very soon attain the highest holiness possible for a creature
here on earth. God is very generous and does not deny His grace to anyone.
Indeed He gives more than what we ask of Him. Faithfulness to the inspirations
of the Holy Spirit-that is the shortest route. |
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292 |
+When a soul loves God
sincerely, it ought not fear anything in the
spiritual life. Let it subject itself to the action of grace, and let it not
impose any restraints on itself in communing with the Lord. |
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293 |
+When Jesus ravished me by
His beauty and drew me to Himself, I then saw what in my soul was displeasing
to Him and made up my mind to remove it, cost what it may; and aided by the
grace of God I did remove it at once. This magnanimity pleased the Lord, and
from that moment God started granting me higher graces. In my interior life I
never reason; I do not analyze the ways in which God's Spirit leads me. It is
enough for me to know that I am loved and that I love. Pure love enables me
to know God and understand many mysteries. My confessor is an oracle for me.
His word is sacred to me-I am speaking about the spiritual director [Father Sopocko]. |
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294 |
+Once the Lord said to me,
Act like a beggar who does not back away when he gets more alms [than he
asked for], but offers thanks the more fervently. You too should not back
away and say that you are not worthy of receiving greater graces when I give
them to you. I know you are unworthy, but rejoice all the more and take as
many treasures from My Heart as you can carry, for then you will please Me
more. And I will tell you one more thing: Take these graces not only for
yourself, but also for others; that is, encourage the souls with whom you
come in contact to trust in My infinite mercy. Oh, how I love those souls who
have complete confidence in Me. I will do everything for them. |
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295 |
+At that moment Jesus asked
me, My child, how is your retreat going? I answered, "But Jesus,
You know how it is going." Yes, I know, but I want to hear it from
your own lips and from your heart. "O my Master, when You are
leading me, everything goes smoothly, and I ask You, Lord, to never leave my
side." And Jesus said, Yes, I will be with you always, if you always
remain a little child and fear nothing. As I was your beginning here, so I
will also be your end. Do not rely on creatures, even in the smallest things,
because this displeases Me. I want to be alone in your soul. I will give
light and strength to your soul, and you will learn from My representative
that I am in you, and your uncertainty will vanish like mist before the rays
of the sun. |
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296 |
+O Supreme Good, I want to
love You as no one on earth has ever loved You before! I want to adore You
with every moment of my life and unite my will closely to Your holy will. My
life is not drab or monotonous, but it is varied like a garden of fragrant
flowers, so that I don't know which flower to pick first, the lily of
suffering or the rose of love of neighbor or the violet of humility. I will
not enumerate these treasures in which my every day abounds. It is a great
thing to know how to make use of the present moment. |
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297 |
+Jesus, Supreme Light, grant me
the grace of knowing myself, and pierce my dark soul with Your light, and
fill the abyss of my soul with Your own self, for You alone [...] |
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298 |
O my Jesus, the Life, the Way
and the Truth, I beg You to keep me close to You as a mother holds a baby to
her bosom, for I am not only a helpless child, but an accumulation of misery
and nothingness. |
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299 |
When, on one occasion, my
confessor told me to ask the Lord Jesus the meaning of the two rays in the
image, [77] I answered, "Very well, I will ask
the Lord." |
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300 |
+Ask of my faithful
servant [Father Sopocko] that, on this day, he tell
the whole world of My great mercy; that whoever approaches the Fount of Life
on this day will be granted complete remission of sins and punishment. |
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301 |
Proclaim that mercy is the greatest
attribute of God. All the works of My hands are crowned with mercy. |
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302 |
+O Eternal Love, I want all the souls You have
created to come to know You. I would like to be a priest, for then I would
speak without cease about Your mercy to sinful souls drowned in despair. I
would like to be a missionary and carry the light of faith to savage nations
in order to make You known to souls, and to be completely consumed for them
and to die a martyr's death, just as You died for them and for me. O Jesus, I
know only too well that I can be a priest, a missionary, a preacher, and that
I can die a martyr's death by completely emptying myself and denying myself
for love of You, O Jesus, and of immortal souls. |
|
303 |
Great love can change small things into great
ones, and it is only love which lends value to our actions. And the purer our
love becomes, the less there will be within us for the flames of suffering to
feed upon, and the suffering will cease to be a suffering for us; it will
become a delight! By the grace of God, I have received such a disposition of
heart that I am never so happy as when I suffer for
Jesus, whom I love with every beat of my heart. |
|
304 |
+O my Jesus, my only hope, thank You for the book
which You have opened before my soul's eyes. That book is Your Passion which
You underwent for love of me. It is from this book that I have learned how to
love God and souls. In this book there are found for us inexhaustible
treasures. O Jesus, how few souls understand You in Your martyrdom of love!
Oh, how great is the fire of purest love which burns in Your Most Sacred Heart!
Happy the soul that has come to understand the love of the Heart of Jesus! |
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305 |
It is my greatest desire that souls should
recognize You as their eternal happiness, that they should come to believe in
Your goodness and glorify Your infinite mercy. |
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306 |
I asked the Lord to grant me the grace that my
nature be immune and resist the influences that sometimes try to draw me away
from the spirit of our rule and from the minor regulations. These minor
transgressions are like little moths that try to destroy the spiritual life
within us, and they surely will destroy it if the soul is aware of these
minor transgressions and yet disregards them as small things. I can see
nothing that is small in the religious life. Little matter if I am sometimes
the object of vexation and jeers, as long as my spirit remains in harmony
with the spirit of the rules, the vows and the religious statutes. |
|
307 |
+ 1934. Once during Lent, I saw a great light and
a great darkness over house and chapel. I saw the struggle of these two
powers... |
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308 |
1934, Holy Thursday. Jesus said to me, I desire
that you make an offering of yourself for sinners and especially far those souls who have lost hope in God's mercy. |
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309 |
Before heaven and earth, before all the choirs of
Angels, before the Most Holy Virgin Mary, before all the Powers of heaven, I
declare to the One Triune God that today, in union with Jesus Christ,
Redeemer of souls, I make a voluntary offering of myself for the conversion
of sinners, especially for those souls who have lost hope in God's mercy.
This offering consists in my accepting, with total subjection to God's will,
all the sufferings, fears and terrors with which sinners are filled. In
return, I give them all the consolations which my soul receives from my
communion with God. In a word, I offer everything for them: Holy Masses, Holy
Communions, penances, mortifications, prayers. I do
not fear the blows, blows of divine justice, because I am united with Jesus.
O my God, in this way I want to make amends to You for the souls that do not
trust in Your goodness. I hope against all hope in the ocean of Your mercy.
My Lord and my God, my portion-my portion forever, I do not base this act of
oblation on my own strength, but on the strength that flows from the merits
of Jesus Christ. I will daily repeat this act of self-oblation by pronouncing
the following prayer which You yourself have taught me, Jesus: |
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310 |
- I am giving you a share in the redemption
of mankind. You are solace in My dying hour. |
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311 |
When I received permission from my confessor
[Father Sopocko] to make this act of oblation, I
soon learned that it was pleasing to God, because I immediately began to
experience its effects. In a moment my soul became like a stone-dried up,
filled with torment and disquiet. All sorts of blasphemies and curses kept
pressing upon my ears. Distrust and despair invaded my heart. This is the
condition of the poor people, which I have taken upon myself. At first, I was
very much frightened by these horrible things, but during the first
[opportune] confession, I was set at peace. |
|
312 |
+Once when I went outside the convent to go to
confession [St. Michael's Church], I chanced upon my confessor [Father Sopocko] saying Mass just then. After a while I saw the
Child Jesus on the altar, joyfully and playfully holding out His hands to
him. But a moment later the priest took the beautiful Child into his hands,
broke Him up and ate Him alive. At the first instant I felt a dislike for the
priest for having done this to Jesus, but I was immediately enlightened in
the matter and understood that this priest was very pleasing to God. |
|
313 |
+Once, when I was visiting the artist [Eugene Kazimirowski] who was painting the image, and saw that it
was not as beautiful as Jesus is, I felt very sad about it, but I hid this
deep in my heart. When we had left the artist's house, Mother Superior
[Irene] stayed in town to attend to some matters while I returned home alone.
I went immediately to the chapel and wept a good deal. I said to the Lord,
"Who will paint You as beautiful as You are?" Then I heard these
words: Not in the beauty of the color, nor of the brush lies the greatness
of this image, but in My grace. |
|
314 |
+When I went to the garden one afternoon, my
Guardian Angel said to me, "Pray for the dying." And so I began at
once to pray the rosary with the gardeners for the dying. After the rosary,
we said various prayers for the dying. After the prayers, the wards began to
chat gayly among themselves. In spite of the noise
they were making, I heard these words in my soul: "Pray for me!"
But as I could not understand these words very well, I moved a few steps away
from the wards, trying to think who it could be who was asking me to pray.
Then I heard the words: "I am Sister ...." [78] This sister was in Warsaw while I was, at
the time, in Vilnius. "Pray for me until I tell you to stop. I am
dying." Immediately, I began to pray fervently for her, [addressing
myself] to the expiring Heart of Jesus. She gave me no respite, and I kept
praying from three [o'clock] until five. At five, I heard the words:
"Thank you!" and I understood that she had died. But during Holy
Mass on the following day, I continued to pray fervently for her soul. In the
afternoon, a postcard came saying that Sister ... had died at such and such a
time. I understood that it was at the same hour when she had said to me,
"Pray for me." |
|
315 |
+Mother of God, Your soul was plunged into a sea
of bitterness; look upon Your child and teach her to suffer and to love while
suffering. Fortify my soul that pain will not break it. Mother of grace, teach
me to live by [the power of] God. |
|
316 |
Once, the Mother of God came to visit me. She was
sad. Her eyes were cast down. She made it clear that She wanted to say
something, and yet, on the other hand, it was as if She did not want to speak
to me about it. When I understood this, I began to beg the Mother of God to
tell me and to look at me. Just then Mary looked at me with a warm smile and
said, You are going to experience certain sufferings because of an illness
and the doctors; you will also suffer much because of the image, but do not
be afraid of anything. The next day I fell ill and suffered a great deal,
just as the Mother of God had told me. But my soul was ready for the
sufferings. Suffering is a constant companion of my life. |
|
317 |
O my God, my only hope, I have placed all my trust
in You, and I know I shall not be disappointed. |
|
318 |
I often feel God's presence after Holy Communion
in a special and tangible way. I know God is in my heart. And the fact that I
feel Him in my heart does not interfere with my duties. Even when I am
dealing with very important matters which require attention, I do not lose
the presence of God in my soul, and I am closely united with Him. With Him I
go to work, with Him I go for recreation, with Him I suffer, with Him I
rejoice; I live in Him and He in me. I am never
alone, because He is my constant companion. He is present to me at every
moment. Our intimacy is very close, through a union of blood and of life. |
|
319 |
August 9, 1934. Night adoration on Thursdays. [79]
I made my hour of adoration from eleven o'clock till midnight. I offered it
for the conversion of hardened sinners, especially for those who have lost
hope in God's mercy. I was reflecting on how much God had suffered and on how
great was the love He had shown for us, and on the fact that we still do not
believe that God loves us so much. O Jesus, who can understand this? What
suffering it is for our Savior! How can He convince us of His love if even
His death cannot convince us? I called upon the whole of heaven to join me in
making amends to the Lord for the ingratitude of certain souls. |
|
320 |
Jesus made known to me how very pleasing to Him
were prayers of atonement. He said to me, The prayer of a humble and
loving soul disarms the anger of My Father and draws down an ocean of
blessings. After the adoration, half way to my cell, I was surrounded by a , pack of huge black dogs who were jumping and howling
and trying to tear me to pieces. I realized that they were not dogs, but
demons. One of them spoke up in a rage, "Because you have snatched so
many souls away from us this night, we will tear you to pieces." I
answered, "If that is the will of the most merciful God, tear me to
pieces, for I have justly deserved it, because I am the most miserable of all
sinners, and God is ever holy, just, and infinitely merciful." To these
words all the demons answered as one, "Let us flee, for she is not
alone; the Almighty is with her!" And they vanished like dust, like the
noise of the road, while I continued on my way to my cell undisturbed,
finishing my Te Deum and pondering the infinite and
unfathomable mercy of God. |
|
321 |
A sudden illness-a mortal suffering. It was not
death, that is to say, a passing over to real life, but a taste of the
sufferings of death. Although it gives us eternal life, death is dreadful.
Suddenly, I felt sick, I gasped for breath, there was darkness before my
eyes, my limbs grew numb-and there was a terrible suffocation. Even a moment
of such suffocation is extremely long.... There also comes a strange fear, in
spite of trust. I wanted to receive the last sacraments, but it was extremely
difficult to make a confession even though I desired to do so. A person does
not know what he is saying; not finishing one thing, he begins another. |
|
322 |
O my Congregation, my mother, how sweet it is to live
in you, but it is even better to die in you! |
|
323 |
After I received the last sacraments, there was a
definite improvement. I remained alone. This lasted for half an hour and then
came another attack; but this one was not so strong, as the doctor intervened. |
|
324 |
The next day, I felt very weak, but experienced no
further suffering. After Holy Communion, I saw the Lord Jesus just as I had
seen Him during one adoration. The Lord's gaze
pierced my soul through and through, and not even the least speck of dust
escaped His notice. And I said to Jesus, "Jesus, I thought You were
going to take me. "And Jesus answered, My
will has not yet been fully accomplished in you; you will still remain on
earth, but not for long. I am well pleased with your trust, but your love
should be more ardent. Pure love gives the soul strength at the very moment
of dying. When I was dying on the cross, I was not thinking about Myself, but
about poor sinners, and I prayed for them to My Father. I want your last
moments to be completely similar to Mine on the cross. There is but one price
at which souls are bought, and that is suffering united to My suffering on
the cross. Pure love understands these words; carnal love will never
understand them. |
|
325 |
1934. On the day of the Assumption of the Mother
of God, I did not assist at Holy Mass. The woman doctor [80] did not allow me; but I prayed fervently in my cell. After a short time,
I saw the Mother of God, unspeakably beautiful. She said to me, My
daughter, what I demand from you is prayer, prayer, and once again prayer,
for the world and especially for your country. For nine days receive Holy
Communion in atonement and unite yourself closely to the Holy Sacrifice of
the Mass. During these nine days you will stand before God as an offering;
always and everywhere, at all times and places, day or night, whenever you
wake up, pray in the spirit. In spirit, one can always remain in prayer. |
|
326 |
Once, Jesus said to me, My gaze from this image
is like My gaze from the cross. |
|
327 |
Once, my confessor [Father Sopocko]
asked me where the inscription should be placed, because there was not enough
space in the picture for everything. I answered, "I will pray and give
you an answer next week." When I left the confessional and was passing
before the Blessed Sacrament, I received an inner understanding about the
inscription. Jesus reminded me of what He had told me the first time; namely,
that these three words must be clearly in evidence: "Jesus, I trust in
You. "["Jezu, Ufam Tobie.'] I understood that
Jesus wanted the whole formula to be there, but He gave no direct orders to
this effect as He did for these three words. |
|
328 |
O purest Love, rule in all Your plenitude in my
heart and help me to do Your holy will most faithfully! |
|
329 |
Toward the end of a three-day retreat, I saw
myself walking along a rough path. I kept stumbling continually, and I saw
following me the figure of a person who kept supporting me. I was not happy with
this and asked the person to leave me alone, as I wanted to walk on my own.
But the figure, whom I could not recognize, did not
leave me for a moment. I got impatient and turned around and pushed the
person away from me. At that moment I saw that it was Mother Superior
[Irene], and at the same moment I saw that it was not Mother Superior, but
the Lord Jesus who looked deeply into me and gave me to understand how
painful it was to Him when I did not, even in the smallest things, do my
superior's will, which is My will, [He said]. I asked pardon of the Lord and
took the warning very much to heart. |
|
330 |
+Once, the confessor told me to pray for his
intention, and I began a novena to the Mother of God. This novena consisted
in the prayer, "Hail, Holy Queen," recited nine times. Toward the
end of the novena I saw the Mother of God with the Infant Jesus in Her arms,
and I also saw my confessor kneeling at Her feet and talking with Her. I did
not understand what he was saying to Her, because I was busy talking with the
Infant Jesus, who came down from His Mother's arms and approached me. I could
not stop wondering at His beauty. I heard a few of the words that the Mother
of God spoke to him [i.e., my confessor] but not everything. The words were:
I am not only the Queen of Heaven, but also the Mother of Mercy and your
Mother. And at that moment She stretched out her right hand, in which She
was clasping her mantle, and She covered the priest with it. At that moment,
the vision vanished. |
|
331 |
Oh, how great a grace it is to have a spiritual
director! One makes more rapid progress in virtue, sees the will of God more
clearly, fulfills it more faithfully, and follows a road that is sure and
free of dangers. The director knows how to avoid the rocks against which the
soul could be shattered. The Lord gave me this grace rather late, to be sure,
but I rejoice in it greatly, seeing how God inclines His will to my
director's wishes. I will mention just one incident out of a thousand that
have happened to me. As I usually do, I asked the Lord Jesus one evening to
give me the points for next day's meditation. I received the answer: Meditate
on the Prophet Jonah and his mission. I thanked the Lord, but began to think
within myself of how different that subject was from the others. But with all
my soul I strove to meditate about it, and I recognized myself in the person
of the prophet, in the sense that often I, too, try to make excuses to the
Lord, claiming that someone else would do His holy will better [than I could],
and not understanding that God can do all things and that His omnipotence
will be all the more manifest if the tool is poorer. God made this clear to
me in the following way. That afternoon, there was confession for the
community. When I presented to the director of my soul the fear that seized
me because of this mission for which God was using me, clumsy tool that I
was, my spiritual father answered that, willing or not, we must carry out the
will of God, and he gave me the Prophet Jonah as an example. After the
confession, I wondered how the confessor knew that God had told me to
meditate about Jonah; surely I myself had not told him. Then I heard these words:When the priest
acts in my place, he does not act of himself, but I act through him. His
wishes are Mine. I can see how Jesus defends His representatives. He
himself enters into their actions. |
|
332 |
+Thursday. When I started the Holy Hour, I wanted
to immerse myself in the agony of Jesus in the Garden of Olives. Then I heard
a voice in my soul:Meditate
on the mystery of the Incarnation . And suddenly the Infant Jesus
appeared before me, radiant with beauty. He told me how much God is pleased
with simplicity in a soul. Although My greatness is beyond understanding,
I commune only with those who are little. I demand of you a childlike spirit.
|
|
333 |
I now see clearly how God acts through the
confessor and how faithfully He keeps His promises. Two weeks ago, my
confessor told me to reflect upon this spiritual childhood. It was somewhat
difficult at first, but my confessor, disregarding my difficulties, told me
to continue to reflect upon spiritual childhood. "In practice, this
spiritual childhood," [he said,] "should manifest itself in this
way: a child does not worry about the past or the future, but makes use of
the present moment. I want to emphasize that spiritual childlikeness in you,
Sister, and I place great stress upon it." I can see how God bows down
to my confessor's wishes; He does not show himself to me at this time as a
Teacher in the fullness of His strength and human adulthood, but as a little
Child. The God who is beyond all understanding stoops to me under the
appearance of a little Child. |
|
334 |
But the eye of my soul does not stop at this
appearance. Although You take the form of a little Child, I see in You the
immortal, infinite Lord of lords, whom pure spirits adore, day and night, and
for whom the hearts of the Seraphim burn with the
fire of purest love. O Christ, O Jesus, I want to surpass them in my love for
You! I apologize to you, O pure spirits, for my boldness in comparing myself
to you. I, this chasm of misery, this abyss of misery; and You, O God, who
are the incomprehensible abyss of mercy, swallow me up as the heat of the sun
swallows up a drop of dew! A loving look from You will fill up any abyss. I
feel immensely happy at the greatness of God. Seeing God's greatness is more
than enough to make me happy throughout all eternity! |
|
335 |
Once, when I saw Jesus in the form of a small
child, I asked, "Jesus, why do you now take on the form of a child when
You commune with me? In spite of this, I still see in You the infinite God,
my Lord and Creator. Jesus replied that until I learned simplicity and
humility, He would commune with me as a little child. |
|
336 |
+1934. During Holy Mass, when the Lord Jesus was
exposed in the Blessed Sacrament, before Holy Communion I saw two rays coming
out from the Blessed Host, just as they are painted in the image, one of them
red and the other pale. And they were reflected on each of the sisters and
wards, but not on all in the same way. On some of them the rays were barely
visible. It was the last day of the children's retreat. |
|
337 |
November 22, 1934. +On one occasion, my spiritual
director [Father Sopocko] told me to look carefully
into myself and to examine whether I had any attachment to some particular
object or creature, or even to myself, or whether I engaged in useless
chatter, "for all these things," [he said,] "get in the way of
the Lord Jesus, who wants complete freedom in directing your soul. God is
jealous of our hearts and wants us to love Him alone." |
|
338 |
When I started to look deep within myself, I did
not find any attachment to anything, but as in all things that concern me, so
also in this matter, I was afraid and distrustful of myself. Tired out by
this detailed selfexamination, I went before the
Blessed Sacrament and asked Jesus with all my heart, "Jesus, my Spouse,
Treasure of my heart, You know that I know You alone and that I have no other
love but You; but, Jesus, if I were about to become attached to anything that
is not You, I beg and entreat You, Jesus, by the power of Your mercy, let
instant death descend upon me, for I prefer to die a thousand times than to
be unfaithful to You once in even the smallest thing." |
|
339 |
At that moment, Jesus suddenly stood before me,
coming I know not from where, radiant with unbelievable beauty, clothed in a
white garment, with uplifted arms, and He spoke these words to me, My daughter,
your heart is My repose; it is My delight. I find in it everything that is
refused Me by so many souls. Tell this to My representative. And an
instant later, I saw nothing, but a whole ocean of consolations entered my
soul. |
|
340 |
I know now that nothing can put a stop to my love
for You, Jesus, neither suffering, nor adversity, nor fire nor the sword, nor
death itself. I feel stronger than all these things. Nothing can compare with
love. I see that the smallest things done by a soul that loves God sincerely
have an enormous value in His Holy eyes. |
|
341 |
November 5, 1934. One morning, when it was my duty
to open the gate to let out our people who deliver baked goods, I entered the
little chapel to visit Jesus for a minute and to renew the intentions of the
day. Today, Jesus, I offer You all my sufferings, mortifications and prayers
for the intentions of the Holy Father, so that he may approve the Feast of
Mercy. But, Jesus, I have one more word to say to You: I am very surprised
that You bid me to talk about this Feast of Mercy, for they tell me that
there is already such a feast [81]
and so why should I talk about it? And Jesus said to me, And who knows
anything about this feast? No one! Even those who should be proclaiming My
mercy and teaching people about it often do not know about it themselves.
That is why I want the image to be solemnly blessed on the first Sunday after
Easter, and I want it to be venerated publicly so that every soul may know
about it. Make a novena for the Holy Father's intention. It should consist of
thirty-three acts; that is, repetition that many times of the short
prayer-which I have taught you-to The Divine Mercy. |
|
342 |
Suffering is the greatest treasure on earth; it
purifies the soul. In suffering, we learn who our true friend is. |
|
343 |
True love is measured by the thermometer of
suffering. Jesus, I thank You for the little daily crosses, for opposition to
my endeavors, for the hardships of communal life, for the misinterpretation
of my intentions, for humiliations at the hands of others, for the harsh way
in which we are treated, for false suspicions, for poor health and loss of
strength, for self-denial, for dying to myself, for lack of recognition in
everything, for the upsetting of all my plans. |
|
344 |
One evening as I entered my cell, I saw the Lord
Jesus exposed in the monstrance under the open sky, as it seemed. At the feet
of Jesus I saw my confessor, and behind him a great number of the highest
ranking ecclesiastics, clothed in vestments the like of which I had never
seen except in this vision; and behind them, groups of religious from various
orders; and further still I saw enormous crowds of people, which extended far
beyond my vision. I saw the two rays coming out from the Host, as in the
image, closely united but not intermingled; and they passed through the hands
of my confessor, and then through the hands of the clergy and from their
hands to the people, and then they returned to the Host... and at that moment
I saw myself once again in the cell which I had just entered. |
|
345 |
December 22, 1934. When it was possible for me to
go to confession during the week, I happened to get there when my confessor was
saying Holy Mass. During the third part of the Mass I saw the Infant Jesus, a
little smaller than usual and with this difference, that He was wearing a
violet tunic. He usually has a white one. |
|
346 |
December 24, 1934. The Vigil of Christmas. During
the morning Mass, I felt the closeness of God. Though I was hardly aware of
it, my spirit was drowned in God. Suddenly, I heard these words: You are
My delightful dwelling place; My Spirit rests in you. After these words,
I felt the Lord looking into the depths of my heart; and seeing my misery, I
humbled myself in spirit and admired the immense mercy of God, that the Most
High Lord would approach such misery. |
|
347 |
Midnight Mass. As Holy Mass began, I immediately
felt a great interior recollection; joy filled my soul. During the offertory,
I saw Jesus on the altar, incomparably beautiful. The whole time the Infant
kept looking at everyone, stretching out His little hands. During the
elevation, the Child was not looking towards the chapel but up to heaven.
After the elevation He looked at us again, but just for a short while,
because He was broken up and eaten by the priest in the usual manner. His
pinafore was now white. The next day I saw the same thing, and on the third
day as well. It is difficult for me to express the joy of my soul. The vision
was repeated at the three Masses in the same way as in the first ones. |
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>>DIVINE MERCY APOSTOLATE .... Diary .... A. Diary .... BM. Diary (part) . footnotes
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